Living In The Now
by ennisjackgal
Summary: AU/AU set in San Francisco, 2009/10. Ennis meets Jack in a coffee house on a bright summer's day, and a bond begins to form. But when Jack reveals a secret about himself that will affect their relationship, Ennis finds himself put to the test, determined to bring some happiness to his troubled new friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_August 3rd, 2009_

Jack stretched in his bed and opened his eyes, yawning. It was the start of another work week, something he didn't particularly look forward to. But he knew he needed the money, now more than he ever did. He hadn't been in the city that long, and had found the first job he could just to get paid as soon as possible. Hopefully one day he would be financially secure enough to step back and find a job he loved.

But for now, reality was staring him in the face, as it had every morning for the last five years. No matter how often he dreamed that things could be different, whenever he awoke from sleep he was always brought right back down to earth with a bump. When he opened his eyes and realised it was a new day, he always had the same thought; _that's right, I've got this thing. And it's not just a cold or sniffle that you can take something for, something that'll make it go away. This thing will never go away. _

He sighed to himself and got out of bed, heading to the bathroom. After he'd showered and cleaned his teeth, he opened up the medicine cabinet reluctantly. He needed the contents, but he didn't think he would ever get used to this. Checking his chart (because he didn't have the best memory when it came to taking medication, and he had a lot), he opened up each bottle and box in turn, laying out all the pills on the low shelf by the sink. It wasn't as many pills as it used to be, when he was first diagnosed, but he still didn't like the idea of his body being full of drugs like this.

Still, he figured it could be worse. He had a low viral load and a high T-cell count, so that was something to be grateful for. He wasn't really sick and he could do everything that he had been able to do previously. He went to the gym at least once a week to keep his body in shape and he was particular about his diet, as recommended by his doctor.

Jack sighed to himself and started taking the pills. He preferred to take them in the morning like this, when he was alone with no prying eyes. He didn't want anybody he worked with to find out the truth. They knew that he was gay, but he just couldn't face the possibility of them finding out what he had inside his body.

After he finished taking the pills, he heard his cell phone ringing on his nightstand, and came back into his bedroom to answer it. "Hello?"

"Morning, Jack!" came the bright, cheery voice of his best friend, Lureen Newsome. He'd known her in college back in New York. She had moved over here to San Francisco right after graduation, stating that she wanted a change. He had remained in The Big Apple until five years ago, eventually following her here. They lived in the Richmond District, not far from the Golden Gate Park.

"Oh, hey. How's it going?"

"Just getting ready to go to work. I'm eating my breakfast here and I was wondering if you wanted to stop by my place? We can walk to work together." They lived in the same building and she was the only one here who knew about his secret. He knew that she was just trying to cheer him up.

"Sure, sounds great. I'll be right over."

"Did you take your meds?" she asked, as if she was making sure.

"Yes, mother," he said down the phone, smiling in spite of himself. She giggled.

"Alright. See you soon." She hung up and he started gathering his things together for the day. He worked at an electrical store a few streets away, and she worked at a coffee shop on the corner of the same street. They often walked to work together, unless she was on a later shift. He liked having a friend to lean on, but there was a part of him that wanted more. He kept an eye out as he walked around the city every day, looking for a man to catch his eye and strike up a conversation. The truth was, he hadn't had a date for months.

Walking through the building to Lureen's place, he thought about his non-existent love life. He'd never even slept with another guy, technically, but that wasn't for lack of trying. Whenever he told his dates the truth, they were always running for the door, and he couldn't blame them. The incident and its effects had shattered his confidence when it came to attracting a potential mate. He hoped that one day soon, he would meet someone who wouldn't run from him; who would stick around and maybe even fall in love with him. He would turn twenty-seven this fall, and circumstances meant that he couldn't settle for a fling; he had to have something stable, with someone he could trust. And truth be told, he needed someone who would look after him.

He knocked on Lureen's door and heard her walking towards it. The door was opened and she smiled at him. "Hey!" She stood back to let him in. Her dark reddish-brown hair was tied back and she was already in her waitress uniform. If he was straight, he would have found it very attractive. But he loved her like a sister and he knew the feeling was mutual. "You want a bagel?" she asked as they walked to the kitchen table.

"Sure." She buttered one and handed it over. They sat in a comfortable silence as they ate, but Lureen kept darting her eyes to Jack, sensing what he was feeling. She knew that he hated having to go through the same routine every day, and that he hated how it was necessary. Since she would never be his girlfriend and she accepted that, all she could do was be a good friend to him and try to keep his spirits up.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side the park from where Jack lived, near Golden Gate Heights, lived another young man nearing thirty. He was just beginning his day, preparing to go to work in a vet's office a short walk away. He'd always loved working with animals, so this had been a great opportunity for him. His parents lived in the Mill Valley, on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge. He'd gone to college in the city and was now living there.

Ennis was watching the TV as he ate his breakfast, checking up on the morning's news. He was having a good life here in the city, and had been living here for the last five years. He had a good job, a nice apartment, and some good friends. He was friendly with a girl who lived down the hall; Alma Beers. They had actually dated for a while before he'd realised he was gay, and she had been nice enough. Once he'd come out to her and broken things off, she'd taken it better than he'd expected. She was smart enough to know that it wasn't a problem with her, but just the fact of who Ennis was. They had remained good friends.

But there was something missing in his life. Even though he'd felt attraction to other men for a few years now, he'd never had a real relationship with anybody since Alma. He'd never even been with another man. Not that he didn't want to, but he would like his first time with another guy to be with someone who meant something to him.

But all that could be about to change. Two months before, he'd been sitting in the coffee shop on the other side of the park. It was a nice place and he enjoyed walking around the area. While he'd been sat in there on that warm summer's day, a man about his age had walked in, clearly new to the area. He appeared to know the waitress, Lureen, and had sat at the counter talking to her as he drank his coffee. Ennis had watched him with interest; he had dark hair and bright blue eyes, with a wide smile that lit up his whole face. Ennis thought that if that smile was ever directed at him, it would give him butterflies in his stomach and probably make him blush. He really liked looking at the guy, but he didn't have the courage to approach him. He wasn't entirely sure if this newcomer was gay, but he had a feeling. He and Lureen were friendly with each other, but it was clearly just friendship. This gave him hope.

Ennis shook his head and put his cereal bowl on the sideboard; he liked to do his dishes after dinner. He had to get to work soon; this was no time to be filling his head with thoughts of the dark, handsome stranger in the coffee shop, no matter how attractive he was. If he was ever going to approach this stranger, he had to have a clear head. He didn't even know the man's name.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Ennis? It's me," came Alma's voice. He went to the door and opened it. She was there, smiling pleasantly. They made better friends than a couple, he'd come to realise. "Hi."

"Morning, Alma. What's up?"

"I've got a dentist appointment in about an hour and I was wondering if we could walk over together? I could drop you off at work." She worked as a barmaid in the bar near where he worked, and she usually worked nights so he didn't see too much of her.

"Uh, sure. You wanna come in while I get my stuff?" He motioned her inside and left her there while he gathered his things.

As they walked through the building, Alma noticed that he was being quieter than usual. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Just...um..." He coughed a little.

"What?" she asked, looking at him.

"Well...it's about a guy. If you don't wanna hear it..." He looked at her uncomfortably, unsure of whether or not to tell her about his attraction to another guy.

She shrugged and nudged his shoulder. "I don't mind. You know I want you to be happy. What's up?"

"Well...a couple months back, I started to see this guy in the coffee shop on the other side of the park. Up in the Richmond District. I don't know his name, but I could tell he's new around here. He, um...he's good-looking. Dark hair, blue eyes, nice smile."

Alma nodded. "You know what he's like?"

"Well...he seems to know the waitress, and he seems friendly enough. I think they're just friends, though."

"Do you think he's gay?"

"I don't know. When I look at him, I think he might be...but..." He shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe." It was a little too much for him to hope for that someone as good-looking as the mystery man would ever be interested in him. But there was always a chance.

"There's only one way to find out, Ennis. You'll have to bite the bullet and ask if he's interested. Even if he's not gay, or interested...if he's as nice as you think, he probably won't be offended. It's worth a try, right?"

He nodded, thinking this over. They were out of the building and walking down the road by now, taking in the bright summer sun. It was another lovely day and Ennis felt a little optimistic. Maybe he could approach the stranger, after all. Love was always worth taking a chance on.

They arrived at the vet's office and Alma kissed his cheek lightly. "See you later, Ennis. Good luck if you get talking to that guy." He smiled at her and went inside, ready for work. During his lunch break, he would go through the park to the coffee house, just to see if the new guy was there. He liked him, and was willing to take the risk.

* * *

At the store where Jack worked, he was well-liked by everyone. His boss was always impressed by how much effort he put in, and he was starting to earn a nice little commission from the sales he made. The girls all knew that he was gay, but that didn't stop them from flirting with him, batting their eyelashes at him every time he looked at them. They seemed to think that they could 'turn' him or something, simply by using their feminine charms.

This bothered Jack for a few reasons. For one thing, it was pretty damn annoying to concentrate when his female co-workers were constantly trying to get his attention. And for another, it irked him that they thought being gay was something that could be changed. They clearly thought that a tryst with one of them would make him straight; that they were the woman to make him change his mind about which gender he preferred. As far as he thought, everybody these days knew that it wasn't a choice to be gay, but simply who a person was. Considering what gay people went through these days, even in the era of gay marriages and supposed tolerance and acceptance, he couldn't imagine _choosing_ to be this way.

Still, he was so far doing a good job of avoiding them. He always left the premises during his lunch hour to go and talk to Lureen at the coffee shop, and he knew that if any of those girls tried something there, Lureen would be quick at telling them to back off. She was quite protective of him and knew that he hated getting the wrong kind of attention.

Jack felt at a loss. He wanted guys to be giving him their attention, but even if one did look at him a little longer than normal, his voice would die in his throat. He was scared of getting involved with someone, only to have them run for the hills when they found out the truth. He could remember what his mother had said shortly after he was diagnosed.

"_Jack...don't ever give up on finding love. You might suffer rejection when you tell someone the truth about this, but all that means is just they weren't the right one for you anyway. When you find the one who is the right one, he won't run away. He'll stand by your side and you'll be able to lean on him. Just remember that."_

He tried to keep these words in mind whenever his thoughts turned to meeting someone. For the past five years, he'd moved steadily across the country trying to settle down. He'd been looking for two things; a little piece and clarity after what had happened, and also someone who would look after him. He'd just about managed to make his peace with the incident, but was still looking for someone. He hoped that he would find them here in the city, for he wasn't too sure how much longer he could go on travelling to find them; he was sick of running.

His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and a young woman stepping in. She looked to be about his age, with short, curly brown hair and hazel eyes. She gave a double-take when she saw him, and he inwardly sighed at his ability to attract women. But given the fact that he was always after a nice commission, he walked over to her. "Hey, can I help ya?"

"Um...yeah, I'm looking for a new cell phone...um..." She peered at his nametag. "Jack..."

He nodded and led her over to the phones. "Here's our range. You want something in particular, um...?"

"Alma," she replied, smiling a little. "Uh...I was looking to see if you had any with touch screens..."

"Sure..." He showed her their range of phones and stepped back so that she could test them, attending to another customer.

Alma watched Jack as he walked around. Based on his looks, he had to be the man that Ennis had been admiring for the last couple of months. He had the dark hair and blue eyes, had a wide smile and was quite friendly. She did notice that he was a little friendlier with the guys, and seemed to be uncomfortable around the women. This made her think that maybe he was gay.

It had been simple chance that led her here to the other side of the park today. She didn't come over here too often, but this was the only electrical store around these parts that she knew of. And if Ennis was right, Jack would be going to the coffee shop on the corner during his lunch break. Ennis would likely be there too.

She decided not to say anything right now; it had been a long time since she'd done the 'my friend likes you' routine. She hadn't done it since high school. Instead, she would tell Ennis what she had seen and learned, and encourage him to approach Jack. A part of her was still saddened that their relationship hadn't worked out, but she wasn't spiteful. And if Ennis truly liked this man and there was a chance for them, she would do the right thing and try to push them together. Knowing Ennis as she did, she had a feeling that Jack would like him.

When she had selected the phone she wanted, Jack came back over to her. "Hey. I take it you've decided?" he asked, looking a little friendlier than before. Maybe it was because of the commission he would get.

She nodded. "Yep." He disappeared into the stock room and came out with a small box containing the phone she had chosen, leading her over to the cash register. When she'd made her purchase and was outside the store, she pulled out her old phone and called Ennis's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. You know that guy you told me about? Well...I've got some news I thought you might wanna hear."

* * *

Lunchtime finally arrived and Ennis was in the coffee shop to the north of the park, trying not to watch the door too much. Lureen was working, as usual, and he had a feeling that her friend would be walking in soon.

As he waited, sipping his coffee and eating his sandwich, he thought about what Alma had told him. She'd seen a man fitting his description working at the electrical store a short walk away, when she'd gone in there to buy herself a new phone. Apparently, his name was Jack, and he was just as friendly as Ennis had surmised. The fact that Jack seemed friendlier towards guys than women gave Ennis some hope.

Lureen was glancing at him every now and then. She'd seen him watching Jack whenever he came in, which was every day at lunch without fail. She had seen a look in his eye that told her he was interested in her friend. It had been this way for the last two months, but she hadn't said a word to Jack about it. Part of her wanted to; she wanted Jack to be happy and knew that he deserved it after everything he'd been through. But she was scared for his well-being, too. During the years between the incident and his arrival in the city, she knew he'd been out with a couple of guys, but it had never turned serious. Whenever he'd told his dates what was going on, they had always left. This had shattered his confidence and as a result, he hadn't been on a date for a long time.

But as she watched this silent man in the corner, a part of her brain told her that maybe this was the guy that Jack deserved. He looked dependable and trustworthy, and she had a good feeling about him.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Jack walking in, a bright smile on his face. "Hey, Lu."

"Hi, Jack." A quick glance in the corner told her that Ennis's attention had also been caught by Jack's arrival. "The usual?"

"Yeah, sure." He sat at the counter and stretched, taking out his cell phone to check his messages. As Lureen got Jack's coffee for him, she snuck glances at Ennis. He kept on staring at Jack, and while she could clearly see lust in his gaze, she saw something else as well. It looked like a deeper kind of attraction, and this made her think, once more, that this might just be the right guy for Jack.

"So how's it going?" she asked, handing Jack his coffee. He nodded.

"Alright. Made some sales, gonna get some commission. Can't complain, I guess."

"What about the love department? Any luck there?"

He sighed. "Nope. Same old story. All the girls are batting their eyelashes at me, even though they know which team I play for. But whenever I see the guys, I just...I get scared about approaching them."

"I see. There anybody in particular you're interested in?"

"Not really. There's some nice-looking guys around here, and I think they'd be happy to go out with me if I asked. The gay ones, I mean. But...I don't know. You know I can't be looking for something casual, not now. I need something stable, and...I don't think I'd find it with any of them."

Lureen nodded. "Hmm. Well...that could all be about to change." She had a slight smile on her face. Jack looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

She cleared her throat. "Sat in the corner right now, to your right, there's a guy sitting there. The one with curly blonde hair. He's been coming in here for years, certainly since before I started. But ever since you arrived, he's been staring at you."

Jack's heart skipped a beat. "Really? You know his name?"

"No, but...he sure is cute. And I think he likes you." She smiled. "See for yourself."

Jack took a steadying breath and slowly turned his head to look at the corner. As soon as he spied the figure sat there, the man in question blushed and turned his face away to look out of the window. But Jack still got a glimpse of deep brown eyes, the colour of soft honey. He had a face that some would call weather-beaten, but Jack would call focussed and deep. He'd always liked the rugged type. The man looked like the cowboys in the old movies he used to watch when he was younger. His heart fluttered in his chest as he watched the man's profile.

He smiled and turned back to Lureen. "Well, you were right. He's pretty good-looking. And did you see that blush?" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"What are you waiting for, a mating call? Go and talk to him," she encouraged, nodding over at the man. Jack gulped, suddenly unsure of himself.

"I don't know...I can tell he likes me, like you said. But...will he still be interested when he finds out the truth about me?" he asked, biting his lip.

"Look..." Lureen leaned forward. "I know it's not easy for you to trust people. After everything you've been through and how many times you've had to watch guys walk out because of what you have...I know it's difficult. But...I've got a good feeling about this guy. He seems dependable. I think he might just be someone that you can lean on."

Jack looked at her and then back at his admirer, wondering if she was right. This time, the man bravely met his eyes and let them linger. A jolt of electricity seemed to pass between them and Jack smiled. The man blushed again but managed to smile nervously back. His thoughts confirmed, Jack decided to make the first move.

"Alright, I'm gonna talk to him," he said to Lureen, sighing a little and clapping his hands to the counter. She nodded and smiled.

"Good luck, tiger." He rolled his eyes and slid off the stool, heading towards the mysterious blonde in the corner.

* * *

Ennis's heart was hammering in his chest as Jack approached him. When he'd turned those brilliant blue eyes on him, Ennis had looked away, embarrassed at being caught. But he'd seen Jack's gaze; he looked interested. So when Jack had looked back at him, he'd been braver than usual and held Jack's gaze. As they'd stared at each other, Ennis had felt the butterflies in his stomach increase. This man was...beautiful. There was no other way to describe him.

He kept his eyes on his coffee mug until Jack was right by him. "Um...hi." Ennis took a deep breath and lifted his head, looking up into Jack's keen gaze.

"Hi," he replied, his hands shaking a little. Jack gestured to the empty seat opposite him.

"Mind if I join you?" Ennis shook his head and Jack sat down, looking intently at Ennis. "I'm Jack, by the way. Jack Twist."

"Ennis Del Mar," replied Ennis, peeking up at Jack. "Um...I already knew your name, you know."

Jack's brow furrowed. "You do? How?"

"Um...this morning...you served a girl called Alma, right? She's a friend of mine..."

"Oh...and she told you my name because you've been staring at me the last couple of months, right?" Jack asked with a grin. Ennis felt his cheeks reddening.

"Well...yeah. I told her 'bout you, so when she saw you and put two and two together..."

"Right. So...you have been staring at me, then?"

"Kind of..." Ennis mumbled, keeping his eyes down. Jack thought his shyness was completely endearing, and he wanted to know more about this man.

"I take it...you're gay, then?" he asked softly. Ennis met his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah. Known it for a while now."

"Me too. I'm actually from New York. So's Lureen," he added, nodding over at her. "She was my best friend in college, left as soon as we graduated. I stayed a little longer, then did some travelling. Eventually ended up here. What about you?"

"Lived here in the state all my life. My parents live up in Mill Valley, and I came down here for college. Been here ever since."

Jack nodded. "Where'd you work?"

"Vet's office, down in Golden Gate Heights. That's where me and Alma both live."

"Well, as you can probably tell, I live up here, in Lureen's building. Nice place to live around here, isn't it?"

"Sure is." Ennis thought for a moment. "So, um...what are you into?"

"I like movies, going out now and then. But I also like staying in..." Jack gazed into Ennis's eyes. "I like being with people, got some nice friends. But...sure would like more. Maybe someone to...curl up on the sofa with." He smiled a little and Ennis couldn't help but smile back. Jack was bold, and he liked it.

"Right. I like staying in, too." Just then, Lureen came over.

"Anybody need a refill?" she asked, feigning innocence. Jack knew that she was interested in what was going on. He rolled his eyes.

"No thanks, Lu." Ennis nodded and she filled up his mug, looking between them.

"So how's it going?" she asked sweetly.

"Jesus, Lu. Nosy much?"

"I was just asking. I can tell that you two are into each other." She smirked. "This is a gay-friendly establishment; feel free to make out if you want." She winked at them and walked off. Ennis and Jack looked at each other and started laughing.

"I'm sorry, Ennis. She's always been that bold," Jack choked out, grinning. Ennis shook his head.

"It's okay. Nice to see you've got such a great friend. Did you two ever...?"

"Go out? No. We've always been just friends." He tilted his head. "You ever go out with Alma?"

"Yeah, before I realised I'm gay. Broke it off with her and told her the truth. She was really good about it. Knew right away that it wasn't because there's something wrong with her, but that it's just who I am. I mean, I only told her about you this morning, and she encouraged me to talk to you."

Jack nodded. "Sounds like a smart girl. How'd your parents take it?"

"Best as can be expected. They were disappointed that I wasn't gonna get married and have kids, at least not the traditional way. But they want me to be happy, and even said that if I meet someone and I'm sure about him, that I can bring him up there to meet them."

"Wow. That's more than my parents would do."

"They not take it well?"

"My mom was okay, I guess. Said she just wants me to be happy. But my dad...not so much." Jack bit his lip, unsure of how much to reveal. He decided not to say anything along those lines just yet. "I don't think he'll ever accept it. But they're far away in New York and I don't have to see them if I don't want."

Ennis nodded. He then looked at his watch; to his dismay, his lunch break was drawing to a close and he would have to leave soon if he wanted to get back on time. He wanted to stay here with Jack.

"Um...listen, I...I gotta get back to work soon. And it's quite a walk, through the park and everything."

"Okay. Tell you what...you wanna swap numbers? I like you, and...maybe we could have a proper date sometime." Jack smiled nervously, eyes full of hope. Ennis nodded.

"I'd like that." They swapped numbers and bid goodbye to Lureen. Outside, Jack walked with Ennis to the entrance of the park and turned to face him.

"So...I'll give you a call sometime."

"Sure. Bye, Jack." He stuck out his hand, unsure of what else to do. Jack shook it and smiled widely.

"See you, Ennis." He watched as his new friend entered the park and disappeared down the path. Jack had a feeling that Lureen was right; maybe this was the right man for him. Time would tell, and he sure would like to get to know Ennis better.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Ennis didn't hear much from Jack over the next few days. His new friend texted him now and then to ask him what he was up to, and Ennis liked having someone new in his life. As Monday ended and Tuesday rolled by, he found himself yearning to see Jack's face again. They hadn't even been able to meet at the coffeehouse over lunch; Jack had sent an apologetic text to tell him he had an emergency. He didn't elaborate on this, but he did say that he would call soon.

He wasn't too sure what was happening to him. He'd never been this way with anybody before. Jack had strolled into his life without warning, turning him upside down. Ever since he'd moved away from home to attend college in the city, he'd thought of himself as worldly-wise and independent. He'd lived on his own for five years. But ever since meeting Jack, he'd found himself yearning for companionship. He wanted to spend more time with Jack.

As soon as he'd returned to the building on Monday, he'd told Alma about meeting Jack, confirming her thoughts. She was pleased to see him happy, even if it wouldn't be with her.

Wednesday morning dawned bright and sunny, and Ennis was lying in bed, thinking of Jack. He hoped that his new friend might call soon about the weekend; that seemed to be the most popular time for a date. Maybe they could go to a movie and share a pizza or something. That sounded good for a pair of guys.

As he lay there, he thought about how things might go. He'd never been on a date with another guy, and had certainly never slept with one. Maybe Jack would be his first. But it was too soon to be thinking of that; he'd only met Jack once. But he had a good feeling about this.

His phone ringing made him jump, and he took it from the nightstand. His heart leapt when he saw that Jack was calling him. He flipped his phone open. "Hey."

"Morning, Ennis." Jack sounded cheery and alert. "How's it going?"

"Um, fine. Just...still in bed, actually."

"Well, there's a sight I'd like to see," Jack replied, curling his words flirtatiously. Ennis went red.

"Um..."

"Anyway, I'm sorry again that we haven't seen each other since Monday. Had a few things going on."

"It's okay. But I have to admit...I missed you." He felt shy about exposing his feelings like this, but he knew that Jack wouldn't judge him for it.

"Ennis..." Jack's voice was soft. "I missed you too, bud." He sighed. "Anyway, I was wondering...you up for a night out?"

"Sure. What've you got in mind?" Ennis's heart was beating a little faster.

"Dinner and a movie?" Jack suggested. "Or should I say, trashy movie and greasy food?" he amended with a slight laugh. Ennis smiled.

"Sounds great. When do you wanna go?"

"How about Friday? I don't work weekends, so...I don't have to be up early. We can...have ourselves a sleepover, if we want." Jack's voice was now seductive and purposeful, and Ennis could feel himself growing hard.

"Yeah, maybe. So, um...you working today, then? Got time for a coffee at lunch?"

Jack blew out air through his teeth, sad at having to disappoint Ennis like this. But he'd needed to have his meds adjusted this week, and that was taking up most of his lunch breaks since Monday. "I'm sorry, Ennis. I've still got a lot going on. You know I would, but..."

"It's okay, Jack..."

"Listen, I really am sorry. I wanna spend more time with you, because I really like you. I'd like to get to know you better. Bad week for us to meet, really. But...I promise, from next week onwards, we can spend more time together. Okay?"

Ennis didn't know how Jack did it, but he was capable of saying all the right things; the words that would make him feel better. Jack seemed to be a lot deeper than he'd first appeared; there was clearly more to him than met the eye. And Ennis couldn't wait to find out more about who he was.

"That sounds okay, Jack. I'm not mad or anything. I can't wait to see you."

"Me neither, Ennis. Anyway, I'd better get a move on. My boss likes me and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

"Sure enough. So, I'll see you on Friday then?"

"You bet. I'll probably call you before then, so we can arrange to meet. Bye, Ennis," he said softly, sounding warm and beckoning. Ennis swallowed.

"Yep, bye." He hung up and stared at his phone for a minute before deciding that he needed to get up, too. He took a quick shower and ate his breakfast one-handed, watching the morning news as he did every day. His usual daily ritual hadn't changed, but everything still felt different. Ever since meeting Jack, he felt as if he'd turned a corner. He was nearly thirty; he didn't want a stream of one night stands, multiple notches on his bedpost. He wanted something more substantial, and he knew in his heart that he might just be able to find it with Jack. He had a feeling that Jack wanted the same thing.

Still, there was one thing on his mind. He had a feeling that Jack was holding something back. There was something in Jack's eyes that he wasn't letting out; perhaps a secret about himself that he hadn't wanted to tell Ennis. He wondered what it might be. He didn't care too much if it turned out that Jack had slept around a lot; that kind of thing was always in the past, and he couldn't change it even if he wanted to. But Ennis had to wonder if he would ever know.

He shook his head and flipped off the TV, putting his bowl on the sideboard and gathering his things up. He was determined to just go to work, and attempt to not let his thoughts drift to Jack too much.

* * *

Ennis's plan to keep his thoughts away from Jack started off well enough, as he concentrated on his work. The vet's office was quite busy today and he found himself dealing with just about enough to distract him. He loved working here, had always enjoyed working with animals, and he hoped that maybe one day he could bring Jack here to show him what he did. He wanted Jack to be a part of everything in his life, and even though they barely knew each other, Ennis found that he didn't care too much. He liked Jack a lot and hoped to see a lot more of him. He couldn't wait until their date on Friday night.

During the last hour before lunch, the place quietened down and he found himself at his desk, his thoughts straying to Jack once more. He wondered how Jack was faring across the park, working in the electrical store. He'd last been in a few months ago, before Jack had arrived in the city and in his life.

He eventually gave up on trying to not think of Jack and just let his imagination run. He was alone in his office and nobody would disturb him. Images filled his head as he allowed himself to think about his new friend.

The first thing that came to mind was Jack's bright smile. His teeth weren't perfectly white, but Ennis actually liked it. He thought it looked wrong when people had that kind of Hollywood smile. Jack looked...normal. But he was still extremely attractive; Ennis couldn't deny that.

He also found that he liked Jack's hair, however strange that might sound. It was thick and dark, and Ennis found himself wondering what it felt like. He would love to run his hands through it, and blushed at his own thoughts. Maybe on Friday night, he would get to...

Ennis looked down and saw that he was starting to get hard. "Shit," he muttered, shifting around. He barely knew the guy and was already being aroused by thoughts of him. Jack would no doubt find it amusing; he was quite forward when it came to sex. He hadn't held back on the phone this morning, talking about how he would like to see Ennis in bed.

He'd never met anybody quite like Jack before, and he could see himself falling for his charms quite easily, if he hadn't done so already. But in spite of Jack's confident nature, Ennis could tell that he was far from shallow. If he was, he wouldn't have waited this long; he would have invited Ennis to his place there and then for a quickie, no doubt. Ennis could tell that was so much more, that he might even have a romantic side, and he couldn't wait to see for himself.

Friday night couldn't come soon enough.

Over in the Richmond District, Jack was also trying his best to concentrate on his work, but his thoughts kept wandering to his shy new friend. He didn't like the fact that they hadn't even seen each other since Monday, but it couldn't be helped. Despite everything, Jack knew that his health had to come first and he had to keep that as his number one priority. He wanted to be with Ennis, and the best thing he could do right now was keep himself healthy so that it was possible.

He wasn't too sure what Friday night might bring. After the pizza and the movie, then what? Would one of them go back to the other's place? Would they end up making out on the sofa? Would things progress to the bedroom? Jack certainly hoped so, but he was nervous. It was his duty to inform anybody he got intimate with of the truth, and Ennis would be no exception. If he kept quiet about it, and slept with Ennis anyway, what then? In spite of protection, there was always that slim chance that Ennis could become infected, and what if he did? He would soon figure it out, but by then it would be too late for Ennis. He had a right to know everything before things turned physical. Of course, there was always the chance that Ennis would run, like all the others, but he would have to deal with that.

Still, a part of him had a very strong feeling that things would be different this time. Ennis didn't look like the type to freak out and flee. He was so...together, and seemed to be calm. Jack could only hope that things would work out; he didn't just want to sleep with Ennis, although that was very tempting. He would like to get to know him, maybe have a real relationship with him. Honesty was the best policy, and if Ennis didn't run away despite knowing the truth...that would be wonderful. He would have finally found the man that his mother had spoken of; the one who would stand by him and never hurt him.

With this thought in his mind, Jack was able to focus on his hopes of a good outcome and go about his day. He had a doctor's appointment during his lunch break and he had to get to the gym afterwards, but he would definitely call Ennis later. He liked hearing Ennis's deep voice, dripping into his ear like honey. He couldn't wait until Ennis murmured in his ear for real, perhaps as he was inside him or maybe simply holding him close. Maybe on Friday night or Saturday morning he would.

Jack shook his head and looked around guiltily; he'd been standing in the stock room for far too long, holding a box containing a digital camera that a customer was after. He cleared his throat and stepped back out into the store, salesman smile on his face.

"Sorry about the wait. Took me a while to find the one you wanted," he said, trying not to sound too breathless and give himself away. He served the customer and rubbed his eyes, yearning to be with Ennis right now.

Friday night couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

Jack's lunch break arrived and he headed down the street to the doctor's office. His break was for an hour and a half, and he wasn't entirely sure that he would have any time left to himself. Maybe if he got out early he could meet up with Ennis, even if it was for just five minutes. It would just be good to see Ennis again.

As he waited in a very uncomfortable plastic chair, he let his thoughts drift; for a change, not to Ennis. He thought of his parents back in New York; it wasn't likely that his father would ever accept who he was, but his mother more or less had. And if things worked out between Ennis and himself, maybe they could go and pay his mother a visit. And maybe they could visit Ennis's parents, too. Ennis had told him that his parents accepted him, and even that he was welcome to bring someone to the house if he wanted.

His thoughts were interrupted by the nurse walking into the waiting room. "Jack? Dr Brown is ready to see you now." Jack nodded and got up, following her down the hall.

Richard Brown was a decent man. He was as straight as they come, had a wife and kids, but he was nice enough. Jack remembered their first appointment, only two months ago. He had explained about his sexuality and the situation, and Dr Brown was sympathetic. Jack wasn't the only man in the city that he was treating.

Jack arrived at his office; the door was open but he knocked anyway. Dr Brown looked up. "Jack, hey. Come on in." Jack stepped in and closed the door, seating himself across the desk from the doctor. Richard cleared up what he was working on and met Jack's eyes. "So, how are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess. Can't tell yet if the adjusted meds are having an effect yet. But...I'm feeling pretty okay." He shrugged. "Same as always, really. Just taking one day at a time."

"Good. You're a nice guy, Jack. It's important that you look after yourself. You still going to the gym?"

"As often as I can." Jack bit his lip. "Rick, I...I kind of...met someone."

"You did?"

"Yep, in the coffeehouse on the other side of the park. He's really nice, and we've got a date on Friday night. I'm really nervous..."

Richard nodded. "I can see why. But, Jack...we talked about trusting people. If you believe that this man will be different than all the others, then it's worth taking the chance. I'm sure it'll be fine. Just tell him the truth, and hope for the best. It's all you can do. When you tell him, hopefully he'll like you enough to be able to see past it."

Jack sighed. "Yeah, maybe."

They spent another fifteen minutes talking about the medication and Richard's recommendations for food and exercise techniques, and then Jack was free to go. He looked at his watch and couldn't believe it; he had forty-five minutes left. He dug out his cell phone and decided to call Ennis.

"Jack?"

"Hey, Ennis. Listen, I got my appointment done early and I've got forty-five minutes left. You wanna meet somewhere?"

"Sure. I'm in the coffeehouse, but..."

"I haven't really got enough time to be walking up there...can we meet in the park?"

"Okay. Where?"

"How about Stow Lake? There's some benches there..."

"Alright. See you there." They hung up and both headed to the park, hearts fluttering in their chests.

Jack arrived first; he settled himself on a bench and watched people walking around. There were kids with remote-controlled boats by the lakeside, with their parents watching nearby. The sun was bright but not too hot; a perfect summer's day.

And then, Ennis appeared, right before his eyes and walking down the path towards him. Jack couldn't help but grin at the sight of him. They hadn't seen each other in two days. When Ennis walked up to him, Jack stood up. "Hey."

"Hey, Ennis." _Damn, but he don't half look good today. _"How you been?"

"Okay. Sure am glad to see you, though," Ennis replied, shifting his feet. Jack smiled and moved a little closer.

"Me too." He tentatively leaned in and pressed his hands to Ennis's chest, looking up into his eyes. Ennis's arms came around him and pulled him close, not caring who might see. Jack slid his hands up and around Ennis's neck, breathing in his scent. Neither of them really knew where this need for close contact had come from, but they didn't care. All they knew was that they wanted to feel each other.

They stood there for a few moments, swaying a little, and then Jack pulled away, smiling a little. "Um...you wanna sit down?"

"Sure." They reluctantly prised themselves away from each other and moved to the bench. Ennis pulled out a bag. "Um...after you called, I thought you might be hungry, having to do stuff during your lunch break. So, I...I got you some sandwiches." He was mumbling, but Jack was hanging on every word with a smile on his face.

"Thank you, that's real nice of you." He took the box and noticed that there were two sandwiches in there. "You want one?"

Ennis shook his head. "No, it's okay. I already ate." Jack nodded and began to eat, glancing at Ennis. He was truly touched by Ennis's kind gesture and he knew that he was already developing strong feelings for his new friend. He hoped that his news wouldn't drive Ennis away.

When their time was finally up, Ennis took the empty box and bag, stating that he would dispose of it. Jack nodded and leaned in, pressing his lips to Ennis's cheek. "Thanks for lunch," he murmured in Ennis's ear, seeing the curls fluttering under his breath. He stepped away to see Ennis blushing and smiled. "I'll call you later, okay?"

Ennis nodded and watched him leave, happiness unfurling in his stomach.

* * *

_August 7th, 2009_

At last, Friday arrived. Ennis and Jack both woke up that morning with smiles on their faces, anticipating the evening ahead. They had both decided to just get through their day as quickly as possible and just focus on their jobs until they could go.

The night before, Jack had called Ennis to make the final arrangements for their night out. For starters, they would go to a pizza place at the end of Filmore Street downtown, and then walk down to The Clay afterwards for their movie. Ennis was happy to let Jack decide on where they would go; he just wanted to spend time with him. He offered to pay for their tickets, and Jack agreed, stating that he would pay for the pizza and any snacks they wanted in the theatre.

Both of them were nervous, and Ennis was shifting his feet around as he stood outside his building, waiting for Jack to pick him up. With them both being guys, neither had been too sure about who should do the picking up, but Jack said that if things went well and they went on another date, Ennis could pick him up. A red Toyota turned the corner at the end of the street and Ennis couldn't help but smile; Jack had told him what he was driving so he knew it was him.

Jack drove right in front of Ennis and then stopped, stepping out and grinning at Ennis. "Evening," he said. Ennis smiled nervously and cleared his throat.

"Hey." Jack thought for a moment, and then stepped around the car to the passenger side, opening the door. Ennis blushed and got in, liking the gesture.

When they were both seated, Ennis boldly reached across and placed his hand over Jack's. "I missed you," he said softly, looking at his friend. Jack felt a lump grow in his throat.

"Me too. So, um...you ready to go?" Ennis nodded and removed his hand, allowing Jack to get the car going again.

The pizza place was a little crowded and noisy, so they chose a booth in the corner, wanting to be alone. They were sat opposite each other, and as they waited for their food they talked and looked into each other's eyes.

"So, our first date," Jack said, smiling. He saw Ennis's hand resting on the table, so covered it with his own, as Ennis had done in the car. Ennis nodded and moved his hand slightly, lacing their fingers together. Jack could feel him trembling a little. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just nervous," he admitted, gulping a little. Jack tilted his head.

"I really like you, Ennis. I know we haven't known each other long, and we've not seen much of each other, but...I really do."

"I...I like you too, Jack. Never met anybody like you before," he murmured, eyes roaming Jack's face. Jack dropped his gaze to Ennis's lips; he wanted to know what they tasted like.

"Ennis, I...is it okay if I...?" He cleared his throat. "I mean...I wanna kiss you, if that's okay." Ennis took a deep breath. He'd never been kissed by another guy before, but as he looked into Jack's deep blue eyes, he knew that he wanted to kiss Jack. He slowly nodded.

"Yeah..." Jack let go of Ennis's hand and slid around the booth, coming closer to his friend. He sat up close to Ennis, looking into his eyes. Ennis was unable to look away, and he didn't want to.

Jack lifted his hand and gently stroked Ennis's face, his heart beating very quickly. He leaned in and looked into Ennis's eyes as they drew closer. At last, Jack brought their lips together. He gently pressed his own to Ennis's, caressing them softly and waiting for Ennis to respond. Ennis was lost in Jack's touch and taste, until he remembered that he was supposed to be kissing back. He opened his mouth and responded in kind, moving his lips against Jack's and allowing Jack to push his tongue into his mouth. He made a soft moaning sound and lifted his hand to tangle in Jack's dark hair, pulling him closer.

When they finally pulled apart, they simply stared at each other. This was the first kiss of their lives that had felt like this, and if Ennis was a little braver, he would have told Jack there and then what was in his heart; those three little words that encompassed everything.

Instead, he simply smiled. "Um...that was..." Jack nodded, smiling.

"Sure was. Uh...food's gonna be here soon..." He pressed a quick kiss to Ennis's lips and started shuffling back to his seat, cheeks flushed.

They spent the rest of the meal talking about their lives so far, including college and, for Jack, what it had been like back in New York. Jack hadn't yet told Ennis the real reason why he'd left, but he knew he would have to soon. If he and Ennis did sleep together tonight, as he hoped, and Ennis knew the truth about him, Jack figured that he would have to tell Ennis the back story. It was only fair.

Afterwards, they walked down the street hand in hand towards the theatre, Jack occasionally lightly kissing Ennis's neck and making him squirm a little. They picked a movie at random and sat in the back with their snacks, feet up on the backs of the seats in front.

About halfway through, Jack turned to Ennis with a devilish look on his face. "Wanna make out?" he murmured. Ennis, emboldened by how well this evening had gone, nodded and leaned over. They kissed more passionately this time, but even so, Jack was ever mindful. He wanted to run his tongue all around Ennis's mouth, but that would have to wait, and he couldn't let Ennis do that either, not yet; he didn't have any sores or cuts in his mouth, but he wasn't sure about Ennis. Their earlier tongue action had been light and basically safe, but anything more than that would have to wait. They would have to wait until the truth was out there and Ennis could make an informed decision. Jack hoped that his news wouldn't drive Ennis away, not after what they'd already experienced together.

* * *

The date was a success so far, and the two young men were having a good time. They'd ended up making out for most of the movie, not paying any attention to much else. Ennis had quickly found that he loved kissing Jack, and the feeling was mutual.

After the movie, they walked a few streets away to a nearby park and sat down together. Jack laced their fingers together and rested his head on Ennis's shoulder, feeling warm and comfortable. Ennis liked the feeling of Jack's warm weight against him, and wondered if he would feel more of it tonight. He sure hoped so.

At half ten, Jack rose up and sighed. "Well...you ready to go?"

"Yeah." They stood up and started walking back to Jack's car, still holding hands. When they got to it, Jack turned to look into Ennis's eyes.

"Ennis...you, um...you wanna come back to my place?" The question was heavy with all the implications, and Ennis felt a tingling in his groin. When he gazed down into Jack's eyes, he knew what was in his heart. He wanted to go home with Jack.

He slowly nodded, squeezing Jack's hand. "That sounds...good. Yeah, I'd like that." Jack nodded back, anticipation flooding through him.

They got into the car and Jack drove them back to Richmond Heights, stopping on the street and looking over at Ennis. "Well...you sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm sure," Ennis murmured, looking back at him. He couldn't deny that he was nervous, but he knew what he wanted. Jack smiled at him and they got out of the car, heading up into the building.

Jack's apartment was on the third floor, and they decided to take the stairs. He wondered if Lureen was still up; he wouldn't put it past her to be lying in wait, eager for gossip about the date. But as they walked up through the building, there was no sign of her.

"Here we go," Jack stated when they got to his door. He risked a quick glance at Ennis and shakily opened the door, flicking the light on. "Make yourself at home. You want a beer?"

"Sure." Ennis sat down on the sofa and looked around while Jack got their drinks. It was quite a nice place and he could just picture Jack walking around, maybe half-dressed wearing just a pair of jeans. He shifted on the sofa, swallowing. Maybe he would get to see such a sight in the near future.

Jack came back in, carrying two beers. He'd taken his jacket off and was smiling nervously. "Here." He handed Ennis his beer and clinked them together, then sat down next to Ennis. They spent a few minutes drinking and commenting on little things. Ennis complimented Jack on his apartment and Jack thanked him. It was nice, but they both felt as if they were putting off the inevitable. Both of them knew why Jack had invited Ennis up, and why Ennis had agreed. Their eyes met and they simultaneously put their drinks down. Jack leaned in and pressed his lips to Ennis's, hand automatically coming up to stroke Ennis's cheek. They kissed for several moments, and then Jack pulled away. He was about to speak, but Ennis brought their lips together once more and they rose off the sofa, walking towards the bedroom.

Jack was trying to prise his lips away; to tell Ennis the truth before things went any further. "Wait, wait..." he murmured into Ennis's mouth, hands on his chest. They pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes. Ennis was breathing heavily and Jack could feel that he was hard already. "Ennis, before we do this...there's something you have to know."

He held Ennis's face in his hands, knowing that unless he said this now, before they gave into their lust for each other, he would end up regretting it. Ennis nodded, breathing deeply."

"What is it, Jack?"

"I..." Jack swallowed, hoping against hope that he wasn't about to see Ennis running for the door. "I'm...HIV positive."

Ennis blinked, and then a look of shock came into his eyes. Jack lowered his hands, waiting for Ennis to digest what he'd heard.

"You are?"

"Yeah. Got it back in New York; was one of the reasons I left. It's just...I knew I had to tell you before things went too far. You have the right to know before we cross that line." He looked up into Ennis's eyes, unsure of what the reaction might be. Ennis just stood there, taking it in. Fear was working its way into both of their hearts.

Finally, Ennis seemed to regain the power of speech. "Oh...well, um...this is a first. Are you, um...?"

"I'm not really sick," Jack replied. "My doctor says I'm pretty much okay. It's just...there." He sighed. "So where does this leave us?"

Ennis felt his heart sink. "I...I can't stay here tonight. I can't..." Jack nodded, chewing his lip.

"Okay. Nothing I haven't heard before; don't worry about it." Ennis unexpectedly lifted his hand to Jack's cheek.

"Jack...I'm not running out on you. I mean...I do wanna see you again. And maybe...I can get used to this. I just need a little time, okay?"

"Alright. Um...I'll drive you home, if you want." Ennis nodded and they made their way back to the car.

Outside Ennis's apartment, they looked at each other. Things had been going so well, and now it was over before it had begun. Jack wasn't entirely sure if Ennis could cope with this.

"Um...you wanna get a coffee tomorrow? We can talk some more." Ennis nodded and gave a small smile.

"That'd be good. I'd like to see you again, Jack. I know it won't be easy, but..." He took Jack's hand. "I like you too much to just leave things like this."

Jack smiled, his heart yearning for the man sat next to him. Ennis kissed his hand and opened the door. "Night, Jack."

"Night, Ennis." Jack watched Ennis leave into his building and sat back against his seat, wondering what might happen for them now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_August 8th, 2009_

Saturday dawned another bright day, but Ennis and Jack both woke up feeling weary and lost. Jack had ended up sitting with Lureen in her apartment for a while, talking about the date and how it had ended. Lureen reassured him that the fact Ennis wanted to see him again was certainly encouraging. He tried to believe that things would turn out okay, but he wasn't optimistic about it. It seemed to him that he'd had a run of bad luck where men were concerned, and he didn't like to get his hopes up that Ennis would be different.

Still, he tried not to worry too much as the morning progressed. He went to the gym for a couple of hours and hurried home to change; they had agreed to meet at one. As he stood in the shower, letting the hot water run down his back, images of Ennis started to fill his head, and he shut them out, ignoring his growing erection. Now wasn't the time to get distracted.

He got to the coffeehouse first, sitting in the booth where they'd met on Monday, and he was clasping his coffee mug tightly. Lureen watched him from the counter, hoping that Ennis wasn't about to disappoint him.

The door opened and Ennis stepped in, looking around. His eyes met Lureen's and she nodded to the corner where Jack was sat. Ennis nodded and made his way over. He gently laid a hand on Jack's shoulder. "Jack?"

Jack looked up and his mouth opened slightly. "Hey." Ennis sat down opposite him and they stared at each other. "Um...how are you doing?"

"I'm alright. Had some time to think about everything."

"I know that...last night, that was the last thing you expected to hear. And I really hoped...that you weren't running out on me."

Ennis took Jack's hand. "I wasn't. I just needed to think. People have run out on you before, right?"

Jack nodded, eyes lowered. "Yeah. Every single date I've had, or tried to have over the last five years...every single one of them bolted for the door."

"But it didn't knock your confidence," Ennis pointed out, smiling a little. Jack met his eyes.

"It did; I just don't try to let it show. I'm more insecure than I let on." He sighed. "I mean...technically, I...I've never even been with another guy."

Ennis's brow furrowed. "You haven't? How'd you, um...? Was it a dodgy transfusion or were you into drugs or something?"

Jack shook his head. "Nope, neither of them. The only drugs I've ever taken are the meds." He swallowed. "What I mean is...I've never been with a guy...in a...consensual way."

It only took Ennis a few moments to realise what Jack was saying, and then his eyes widened. "Shit...you mean...?"

"Yeah." Jack sighed. "I was twenty-one, in my last year of college. It was the year I turned twenty-two. In fact, it was only a month before my birthday. I had an early class, and normally I avoided Central Park, because you hear things about being on your own in there at quiet times. But I was running late, and I decided to take a shortcut through. Biggest mistake I ever made."

His throat worked and Ennis ran his thumb over Jack's hand, waiting for him to continue.

"I was walking through, and next thing I know I'm grabbed from behind and dragged into the bushes. Whoever he was, he hit me on the head so I was all fuzzy and couldn't really fight back. It was over in a few minutes, and then he ran. I never got a look at his face." A look of pain flashed over Jack's face. "I skipped class, got myself to the hospital. I was...bleeding back there, and...they did x-rays on my head but it was fine. Then they tested me for HIV. Came back positive two weeks later." He looked at Ennis. "My mom tried to look after me as well as she could, but...my dad told me it...it was my punishment for being gay. I stuck around until the next summer for graduation, and even then I tried to stay, to get myself through it. That's around the time Lureen left for here. So for the last five years, I've sort of been moving around, trying to find somewhere to settle. Ended up here."

Jack seemed finished with his account of what had happened, so Ennis decided it was his turn to talk. "Jack...I kind of got the feeling you weren't telling me everything before. Whenever you talked about living back in New York, I could tell that there was something you weren't saying." He dipped his head to try and catch Jack's gaze. "I'm glad you told me." He lifted Jack's chin. "I...I know that it won't ever be easy for us to be together, but...I'd like to give it a shot."

At these words, Jack felt his heart lift. "You...you would?" Ennis nodded.

"Been thinking on it all night and all morning. I meant what I said last night; I like you too much to just leave things like that. And...it's not like you've suddenly changed. You were positive when I met you, right here. And you're still the same guy I met. I don't feel any differently about you than I did before you told me. I still like you."

"I like you too, that's why I was so scared that this would be it," Jack admitted, his lip quivering a little. Ennis cupped his cheek.

"It's not it, Jack. I, um...I wanna give this a try."

"But what about...sex?" Jack murmured.

"Well...I'm thinking...we could take things slowly. Get to know each other better before we jump in the sack. I'd like to know more about this, if it's okay with you. And I think that if we wait a while, then when it does happen, it'll be right." He smiled. "That okay?"

Jack grinned and leaned into Ennis's touch. "That's fine, Ennis. I'd like to get to know more about you, too. So...are we okay?"

"We're okay," Ennis replied, and to Jack's great surprise, he leaned in, kissing Jack firmly on the lips. Jack felt his eyes slide shut as he melted into the kiss.

Lureen turned away and smiled to herself, thankful that at last, Jack seemed to have found the right guy.

* * *

Ennis and Jack spent a lot of time together over the weekend, after their agreement to take things slowly. Ennis was properly introduced to Lureen, and Jack to Alma. The four of them made plans to all go out together sometime, when Alma wasn't working.

The rest of Saturday was spent in the park, the pair of them eating sandwiches and ice cream on the bench near the lake. Ennis found that the more time he spent with Jack, the more he enjoyed being with him. Jack certainly had high spirits for someone with such a difficult situation. Despite the constant threat living inside him, he was still quick to smile, making jokes, and he seemed focussed. Ennis wasn't sure what he would be like if it was him, but he knew that he might not be as good as Jack at coping with it.

"So anyway," Jack was saying as they ate their sandwiches on Saturday afternoon. "When I got here, I was feeling kind of lost. No job, no boyfriend, nowhere to live. Lureen helped out a lot. I got the place in her building, and she was the one who got me the job at the electrical store. She's friends with the manager, so..." He shrugged. "He's a decent guy, I guess. The money's alright, but...with the rent and the gym membership, not to mention the meds...it doesn't go far."

"Don't you have insurance for the meds?" Ennis asked, watching Jack chewing.

"I keep meaning to get some, but I keep forgetting. My doctor keeps badgering me to get on with it, saying it'll make things easier."

"You should do it, Jack," Ennis implored him. "You've gotta look after yourself."

Jack smiled a little at his concern. "I know. I'll do it eventually. Anyway...do you go to the gym at all?"

Ennis shook his head. "Nah. I don't eat a lot anyway, and it never piles on."

"Well, it's a good idea to look after yourself, like you just said. I go to build up muscle. Very important when you're living with this thing." He was nodding to himself as he spoke, eyes on his sandwich. He then looked up. "Hey...if you join, we can go together."

"Yeah, maybe," Ennis replied, smiling a little. He then looked at his watch; it was almost three. "Anyway...you finished?"

"Yep." They stood up and Ennis disposed of their trash. "What do you wanna do now?"

"Jack, I...can we just...sit here a while?" Ennis asked shyly, looking up at him. Jack smiled and nodded, and they sat down again. Their fingers laced together and Jack smiled up into Ennis's face. With no words, they leaned in and began to kiss, slowly. Jack had warned Ennis about French kissing, teaching him how to check his mouth for sores and cuts so that there was minimal risk of transmission. He'd also informed Ennis that saliva wasn't suitable for carrying the virus, so it was safe.

They continued to kiss slowly, tongues playing together. Ennis was still a little nervous, even about kissing, but he trusted that Jack knew what he was talking about. He'd had five years to learn all of this stuff. Ennis knew in his heart that he could trust Jack not to put him at risk.

His free hand made its way to tangle in Jack's dark hair, and he revelled in its velvety texture. "Mmm..."

Jack smiled against his lips. "You're a good kisser," he murmured. "I've been kissed before, but wasn't anything like this..."

"Mmmhmm." They pulled apart and Jack shuffled a little, resting his head on Ennis's shoulder. Ennis wrapped his arm around Jack and held him, gently yet firmly. Jack felt good pressed against him, and Ennis knew that his feelings for Jack were growing stronger.

They had dinner together at Jack's place on Saturday night, and then watched a movie together. Ennis spent the night sleeping in Jack's bed, but they did nothing more than share a few kisses before going to sleep. Both of them knew they wanted to wait a little longer.

Sunday was spent walking around the city together, hand in hand and taking in the sights. They went up to the South Bay and sat watching the waves, enjoying fries and fish together. They could see the Golden Gate Bridge from where they were sat and admired the beauty of the area.

In the evening, they went to the Zingari Ristorante and shared some Italian food as they listened to the jazz music. They sat at a candlelit table and shared more than a few glances in the romantic setting. Ennis had never had such a good time in his life, and he'd never been in a place like this before. Jack was bringing out all of these new and different things in him, and he liked it.

The next day was Monday, so Jack drove Ennis home to his place, and they stood in the shadows of the front door of the building.

"I had a great time this weekend," Jack murmured, his arms around Ennis's neck. Ennis nodded and stroked his cheek.

"Me too, bud." He sighed. "So...I'll call you in the morning, okay?"

"Yep." They leaned in and kissed a few more times, imprinting the taste of themselves onto each other. Jack then reluctantly prised himself from Ennis's arms. He didn't want to leave, but they both had to work tomorrow.

"Night, Ennis," he said softly, stepping back. Ennis smiled at him, dimples showing on his cheeks.

"Night, Jack." He watched Jack get back into his car and they exchanged a wave before Jack drove off into the darkness. Ennis watched him go, his heart bursting with the happiness he'd found since meeting Jack. He didn't know for sure where this was going, but he knew that he was having the time of his life.

When they both got into bed that night, they thought about each other and how much they enjoyed being together. Hopefully soon, they would become even closer.

* * *

_August 10th, 2009_

Monday arrived once more, and it had now been a week since they'd met. Jack knew that, for the most part, this week had been one of his happiest. And even though things on Friday night hadn't exactly gone the way he'd hoped, at least it wasn't over. They'd managed to have a good weekend together, and he'd enjoyed himself immensely.

As he worked, chatting to the customers and helping them out, he couldn't help but notice that he felt lighter than he had in months. Maybe this was because, of all the dates he'd had, he'd finally found one that stuck. Ennis just seemed different from all those other guys, and he wondered why Ennis hadn't bolted like the rest of them. True, he had declined to stay that night and Jack had driven him home, but even then it had been different. And Ennis had agreed to meet him the next day. Ennis wouldn't have done that if he hadn't been truly interested, Jack reasoned with himself. Maybe, just maybe, he had a good chance with this guy.

He was standing around, waiting for a customer to come up to him and ask for help, when the door opened and Alma stepped in, looking around. She smiled when she caught his eye and walked over to him. "Hey, Jack."

"Hey, Alma. What's up? You need something else already?"

She nodded. "Actually, yeah. My mom wants a digital camera for her birthday, so..."

"Say no more." He led her over to the digital cameras and started to show her their selection. During a lull in the conversation, Alma looked up at him.

"So...how's it going with you and Ennis?"

Jack smiled a little. "Just fine. Had a good weekend together. He's...he's something else."

"Yeah. Anyway...I feel like there's something you should know." She bit her lip and he looked at her.

"What is it?"

"Well...his parents know that he's gay, and they accept that. Did he tell you?" Jack nodded. "Well...the thing is, I know they said he could bring someone home if he was sure about them, but..." She looked at him; she knew that he was positive; Jack had given Ennis permission to tell her. At least then, the four of them could hang out without any bombshells being dropped on any of them.

"Is it about...me being positive?" he asked in a low voice. She nodded.

"Yeah. I don't know how they'd react to it. When we were going out, and I was at their place, I heard them talk about HIV a couple of times. They were living up there right through the pandemic in the 80s, so they remember all the media attention it got. But...I don't think they'd take too kindly to their son seeing someone who has it. I mean, it's a big risk, and you must know how parents are about anything threatening their kids, even someone our age."

She paused, thinking about what she wanted to say. "The thing is, Jack...don't be too disappointed if they can't accept you. It's just the way things are and it's still a taboo subject. No matter how strongly Ennis feels about you...there's a chance you might never get their approval. I don't mean to sound harsh, but..."

Jack nodded. "It's okay, Alma. I get what you're trying to say. And...I'll keep it in mind." He smiled. "So...this digital camera..." he started to say, trying to change the mood of the air around them.

He spent the next twenty minutes attending to her and then she bid him goodbye. Jack watched her leave, thinking about what she'd said. It made a lot of sense. Ennis was taking a huge risk by wanting to be with him, and this would only increase when they started sleeping together. She was right; his parents would probably flip out when they were told the truth, but that wasn't their problem. Maybe if he told them how he got it; that might make a difference. At least he wasn't promiscuous.

The rest of the morning passed swiftly, and it was almost time for lunch. He and Ennis had spoken on the phone this morning and agreed to meet at the coffeehouse. Jack liked making these plans; to have something else in his life besides medication and gym sessions and a careful diet. All of that was necessary, but he had to pay attention to his social life, too. Ennis was like a breath of fresh air in his life; someone who he could talk to without holding anything back. He knew that Ennis didn't judge him for anything, and it was a welcome relief.

As he finished with his last customer of the morning, Jack found himself wondering when they might sleep together. Looking back, Friday night had definitely been too soon. But after the weekend they'd just had, he felt closer to Ennis than ever. Maybe it would happen tonight, or sometime this week. Jack felt as if he was ready, but he had to make sure that Ennis was, too. They both had to be ready and aware of the consequences that came with having sex. Ennis would probably need to start taking HIV tests now and then, just to be sure, and to cross that line would change everything.

Still, he had a feeling that Ennis was smart enough to know exactly when he was truly ready, and he trusted that Ennis would tell him so. He was brave, and Jack knew that. He could only hope that Ennis was brave enough to go all the way with someone like him. It was a tremendous amount of pressure and quite scary. Magnetic relationships, as he'd heard them being called, were never easy to keep going.

Jack sighed with relief when the boss told them it was time for their break, and he gathered his wallet and keys from his locker in the back before heading out into the bright sunlight, towards the coffeehouse where the man who filled his thoughts would be waiting for him.

* * *

Sure enough, when Jack got to the coffeehouse on the other side of the park, Ennis was there waiting for him. He walked through the door and immediately locked eyes with Ennis across the room, and he grinned. His smile lit up his face and he walked over to their usual booth.

"Hey."

Ennis smiled up at him, thoroughly happy to see him. "Hey, bud." Jack leaned down and kissed him for a few seconds, hand on his cheek. They pulled apart and Jack sat down opposite Ennis, signalling to Lureen for coffee. "How's it going?"

"Alright. Been looking forward to this all morning," Jack admitted, smiling across at him. Lureen came over.

"Hey, Jack. The usual?" she asked with a smile.

"Sure, thanks. And can I get a muffin, too? Blueberry?" She nodded and left. Turning back to Ennis, Jack took his hand, running his thumb over Ennis's knuckles. "So...are you okay?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

"Yeah, I'm good." He chewed his lip. "I know that Alma came to see you this morning. She told me what she told you...about my parents." His brow furrowed. "Are you okay?"

Jack nodded and sighed. "I guess. She made a lot of sense, you know. Your parents wouldn't have a problem with me if I wasn't positive. But because I am...if they find out, they're gonna freak, and you know it." He grew a little worried. "Doesn't put you off, does it?"

Ennis shook his head. If he was sure of anything, it was that nothing, not even his parents' reaction, could stop him from wanting to be with Jack. Having realised this after speaking with Alma, Ennis had started to feel as though he might be ready for them to move to the next step. If only he could verbalise this to Jack.

"No, it doesn't," he reassured Jack, placing his free hand over their joined ones on the table. "Ever since you told me that you're positive, I've been thinking over everything. And...I guess I already kind of knew how my parents might react if and when they find out. They're my parents, so...it's to be expected." He licked his lower lip, looking into Jack's eyes. "Thing is...I don't care. They won't be able to make me stop wanting to be with you, Jack. I really like you...and...I wanna keep this going."

Jack smiled. "I do too, Ennis. You've proved to me that you're different from other guys. You know the truth and you're still here, wanting to be with me. That means so much to me." He sighed. "I'm really glad that I met you, Ennis."

"Me too, Jack." Ennis pulled up their hands and kissed Jack's. "That's why I..." He was interrupted by Lureen returning with Jack's coffee and muffin.

"Here you go, Jack," she said with a smile. He thanked her and she walked off again.

"Sorry about that, Ennis. What were you saying? That's why you what?"

"Well...I've been thinking about it a lot, and...I'd like things to...maybe...go further with us." He took a deep breath. "When I realised that my parents couldn't do anything to stop me wanting to be with you, I started thinking. Made me realise how strong I feel about you." He started playing with Jack's fingers. "So...when I realised that, I..."

"What is it, Ennis?" asked Jack softly, looking into his eyes. He could sense that Ennis was struggling with what he was trying to say. "What are you trying to say?"

"I...I want us to try and...take things further..." he murmured, lowering his eyes. Jack's heartbeat increased.

"You mean...sleep together?" he asked, hardly daring to believe it. It had only been two days since they'd agreed to wait. "Are you sure?"

"I think so," Ennis whispered, nodding. "I mean...I know we said we'd wait, and we have. After the weekend we've just had...I..."

Jack nodded. "I know what you mean. Was something special, wasn't it?" He leaned forward. "Ennis...I'd be happy to sleep with you. God knows I'm attracted to you, and I think it would be great. But...I want you to be absolutely sure that you're ready. Because if we do it...and you end up regretting it...it would break us up and you know it."

"I know. But I really think I'm ready, Jack. I know that I might...need some reassurance, and you'll probably have to get me to relax, but...it's what I want."

Jack cupped Ennis's cheek with his free hand. "I want it too. And if you say you're ready...well...I guess I'll just have to trust you on that." Ennis smiled, happy that Jack was agreeing to his desire for them to sleep together.

"Alright. Anyway, I was thinking...how's tonight for you?" Jack couldn't help but feel his heart lift.

"Sounds good to me. You wanna have dinner first?"

"Sure. You can come to my place; I'll make you something." He nodded as if to emphasise his words.

"Okay, but no fast food. Can you do Oriental stuff?" Ennis nodded. "Great. So...I finish work at three, and I'm going to the gym afterwards..."

"What time should I pick you up?" Ennis asked, smiling. Jack went a little red.

"Well...maybe about six? That works." He grinned and started to eat his muffin. "You want a bit? Help yourself." Ennis finally let go of his hand and they both started picking at the large muffin, talking about their workday so far. Ennis was telling him stories about things he'd seen at the vet's, and Jack was soon laughing.

Lureen kept watching them, noting how happy they looked. It seemed as though something had been decided between them, and she had a feeling what it might be. All she could do was hope that they were sensible about it. As she watched, she saw Jack laughing at something Ennis said, before leaning in to kiss him for several long moments. Whatever the future might hold for them, she knew that they had a good chance of being happy together.

* * *

With their plans for the evening made, Ennis and Jack managed to get through the rest of the day well enough. Jack spent most of his time in the gym thinking about Ennis, and what they might get up to this evening. He wanted to sleep with Ennis, but he had to be sure that Ennis was well aware of the risks. Even though they would be using protection, Jack knew there was still a small risk of infection, and Ennis had to be aware of that before anything happened. At least he'd agreed to take regular HIV tests once they started having sex.

Ennis picked him up at six, as agreed, and took him to his apartment. It was nice and cosy, and Jack could see himself settling in here quite nicely. He sat on the sofa with a beer while Ennis busied himself in the kitchen. Jack wasn't too sure what he was making but he knew that it smelled good.

He smiled as Ennis came back into the room, opening a beer for himself. "Should be ready in a minute," he said to Jack, sitting on the arm of the sofa by his friend. Jack laid a hand on Ennis's knee, stroking a little.

"So what are you making anyway?" he asked, looking up at Ennis.

"Um...chicken pad thai, with noodles," Ennis replied, cheeks reddening. "I probably should've checked with you first..."

"No, it's okay. I like that stuff," Jack said reassuringly. "Sounds great." Ennis smiled and took a sip of his beer before going back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Ennis called out to him that the food was ready, and Jack made his way into the next room. He stood still for a moment, taking it all in. There was a dining table in the kitchen, and there was a large candle in the middle, as well as a bottle of wine. "Ennis...this is..." He was speechless.

Ennis shrugged, looking over at it. "Just...wanted things to be nice." He laid a hand on Jack's shoulder. "You ready?" Jack nodded and sat down as Ennis served the food.

The dinner was wonderful, and Jack was very appreciative of all the trouble Ennis had gone to in order to make this night special. They retreated to the sofa afterwards and watched some TV, both of them knowing that it was only a matter of time before things heated up.

Their eyes met and they were soon kissing softly, hands in each other's hair. Jack pulled his mouth away, staring into Ennis's eyes. "Are you...um...?"

Ennis nodded and took his hands, pulling him up. They continued to kiss as he walked backwards, leading Jack to the bedroom. He knew of the risks of what they were about to do, but he also knew that he was prepared to take that risk. He wanted to do this with Jack.

Inside the bedroom, Ennis pulled Jack close, kissing his neck and starting to unbutton his shirt. Jack's eyes fell shut at how Ennis was making him feel, and his own fingers wandered to Ennis's shirt buttons. Their shirts were removed and Jack moved into Ennis's arms, embracing him and feeling the warm, hard muscles under his hands. Ennis nuzzled into Jack's hair and trailed his hands down Jack's smooth chest, towards his belt.

Jack pulled his face back to look up into Ennis's eyes, the unspoken words passing between them. Once they crossed this line, there was no going back. Ennis nodded and started undoing the buckle, feeling Jack do the same to him. They stepped out of their jeans and underwear and just stood there for a moment, eyes travelling over each other's bodies for the first time. Ennis then took Jack's hand and they sat down on the bed, lips meeting as they crawled up and wrapped their arms around each other. Both hearts were hammering and they were hard. Ennis pulled Jack on top of him and ran his fingers through Jack's hair.

"I want you to be really sure about this," Jack whispered, stroking Ennis's cheek. "You know the risks..."

"I am sure," Ennis replied in a low, throaty voice. "I wanna do this..." Jack nodded and looked around. "They're in there," Ennis told him, indicating the top drawer of the nightstand. Jack leaned over and took out a box of condoms, taking one out and unwrapping it. He put it on, eyes glued to Ennis's, and then grabbed the tube of KY from the top of the nightstand. He smoothed it over himself and grabbed Ennis's legs, resting them over his shoulders.

"You ready? I know you've never done this, so...I should tell you that it hurts..."

Ennis nodded. "I've heard. I'll be fine." Jack pressed closer, and with one hand between them, started to push in. Ennis let out a gasp and scrunched his face up. "Goddamn..."

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, pausing. Ennis nodded. "Just breathe," Jack instructed his friend. "It's alright..." He waited until Ennis was relaxed to try again, pushing in further.

Ennis felt himself lift his hips to try and help, and Jack finally slid all the way in, sighing at the warmth that welcomed him. "Oh..."

"Jack..." came the soft sigh from below him. Ennis's face was now peaceful, and he was ready. Jack started to slowly thrust into him, trying not to be too rough. Not only did he not want to cause Ennis any pain, but he also had to make sure the condom didn't break.

They soon found a rhythm, Ennis pushing back against every thrust Jack made, taking him in deeper. Jack lowered his head to kiss him as they rocked together, hands in those blonde curls. Ennis's hands were on his back, as though he was trying to pull him even closer. He let out a low moan as Jack changed his angle, searching. He knew of the prostate gland, and he wanted to make this as good as possible for Ennis. "Oh God," he choked out as he pushed in deeper. "Ennis..."

"Uhh...Jack..." Ennis groaned, head pushing into the pillow. "Fuck..." His legs slid from Jack's shoulders and he pulled Jack close to his chest, face buried in his neck. Jack was now thrusting relentlessly, finding the spot and hitting it every time, making Ennis buck beneath him. "Jack!"

"Ennis!" Jack yelled out his name and came, shuddering against him and still thrusting as he rode it out. He felt Ennis shoot between their chests; warm sticky fluid that Jack liked the feel of. He'd never felt like this in his entire life.

He collapsed onto Ennis's chest, breathing heavily. "Son of a bitch," he gasped. He then lifted his head. "Are you okay?"

Ennis was smiling, hand threading through Jack's damp hair. "Sure am, bud. That was...well..."

Jack grinned. "Yeah." He slowly pulled out and staggered into the bathroom, disposing of the condom before walking back into the bedroom. Ennis was flat on his back, spread-eagled, with a mixture of sweat and come on his stomach. Jack grabbed a towel and cleaned himself up as best he could, before doing the same for Ennis, who smiled at him.

They got under the covers and turned to face each other. "Are you staying tonight?" Jack asked hopefully. Ennis nodded.

"Couldn't move even if I wanted to. And...I wanna stay here." Jack smiled and set his alarm clock, as the both had work the next day. Ennis then drew him into his arms and kissed him lightly, guiding Jack's head into his shoulder and closing his eyes. Jack smiled and closed his own, knowing that things had changed between them forever, but that it wasn't a bad thing. For the first time in five years, he had hope for the future.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_August 11th, 2009_

When Jack awoke on Tuesday morning, he initially thought that his memories of last night were just a dream, but when he opened his eyes and realised that the bedroom around him was not his own, he couldn't help but smile. It was real.

He turned in the bed, but Ennis wasn't beside him. His friend's side was still warm, so he couldn't have been gone for long. "Ennis?" he called out, looking around. He thought that he could hear sounds coming from the other side of the door, perhaps in the kitchen. "Ennis, you there?"

"Coming, bud," Ennis's voice responded, and Jack sat up in time to see his friend (and now lover) push the door open wider, two mugs of steaming coffee in his hands. Jack smiled when their eyes met.

"What's this?" Jack asked as Ennis laid one mug on his nightstand before moving around to his own side. Ennis shrugged.

"Alarm went off, figured that you might want something when you wake up." He looked at Jack over the rim of his mug. Jack smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you." He leaned against the headboard, sipping his coffee and then looking at the clock. "Ennis, I...I've gotta get back to my place before going to work. Have to take my meds and change into my uniform."

"I know," Ennis replied. "That's why I set the alarm earlier than normal. So that we could have some breakfast and still have enough time for me to run you over there." Jack looked at him, heart swelling from such a sweet gesture. He put his mug down and kissed Ennis full on the lips before getting up to use the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, the pair of them were tucking into a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast, with more coffee and some orange juice. Jack had tried to tell Ennis that he didn't need to do so much, but Ennis seemed to want to do this for him, so he let it go.

"So...last night..." Jack started, eyeing Ennis across the table. "Are you okay?"

Ennis nodded, smiling. "Just fine, Jack. Not too sore, and...I don't regret it, if that's what you're thinking. It was great." He chewed thoughtfully. "Sure did feel good...having you inside me. And...I'll start having those tests, I promise." Jack made an affirmative sound in his throat.

"Good. We have to take care of ourselves. I mean...it could be a lot worse, I guess. Could be AIDS, like some guys have."

"Yeah..." Ennis thought for a moment. "What's the difference between the two? I never really understood it."

"Well...HIV affects your immune system. Makes it harder to fight off infections, you know? That's why we have the meds, and go to the gym and everything; to build up our immune systems." Jack thought back to what his doctor back in New York had told him. "AIDS is...something different. When someone with HIV becomes...very weak from having the virus. And if their T-cell count gets really low...it can get bad. Basically, the person gets sicker and sicker, until..." His voice trailed off. Seeing the look in Ennis's eyes, Jack was quick to reassure him. "But...people can live for a long time with HIV, and it might never progress to AIDS. Depends on how well they look after themselves while still relatively healthy. So...it's just about looking after yourself."

Ennis was nodding. "Right. Well...at least you're healthy right now."

"Yeah. But...I can't guarantee that I'll stay that way. And...that's why there's something I have to say." He cleared his throat. "Ennis...last night was wonderful. And I'd really like it if this could go somewhere. Thing is...with what I have, and what it could turn into, I can't afford to just have something casual. I'm nearing thirty, and I...I need something stable, with someone who..."

"Who'll take care of you," Ennis finished for him, knowing what Jack was saying. "Someone who won't let you down." He reached across the table, taking Jack's hand.

"I'm not asking you to make me any promises," Jack said, eyes fixed on his coffee mug. "I'd never do that. But...if you could...just tell me that you'd try..."

"I will, Jack," Ennis said softly. "I can't say for sure, right now, that there won't be a day when I can't take it anymore. I can't promise that. But...I can say that...I'll ride this thing for as long as I can. I'd like to be that guy, Jack. The one who'll look after you, and who won't let you down. I can promise to be that guy as long as we're together."

Jack's eyes were a little glassy. "Ennis...nobody ever promised to look after me before..."

"I'll be the first, then," Ennis replied, smiling a little. "It's gonna be okay, Jack." He released Jack's hand and smiled further. "Come on now, finish your breakfast so I can run you over to your place. You need to take your meds." Jack choked out a laugh and resumed eating, the intense moment passing. He appreciated the promise that Ennis could make him, and he started to believe that he could depend on his new boyfriend. Jack liked the word; it gave him a better sense of where they stood now. He knew that he could fall for Ennis hard, and he hoped that what they were creating between them would last a long time.

After breakfast, Ennis drove Jack up to Richmond Heights, to his apartment. They bid goodbye outside the building, kissing softly by the front door until Jack finally prised himself away. Ennis then left to go home and get ready for his workday. They had already planned to meet up at lunch in the coffeehouse, and both of them liked the routine they were settling into. Meeting in the middle of the day, spending time together in the evening. It felt comfortable and soothing, in a way. Jack especially appreciated having some normality in his life, knowing that he now had someone who he could lean on.

* * *

For the first time in a few days, Jack would be spending his lunch break without Ennis. His friend had managed to send him a quick text explaining that things were hectic at the vet's and he couldn't get away just yet. He'd swallowed down his disappointment and decided to spend time with Lureen instead, at least until if and when Ennis could join him.

He walked along the street to the coffeehouse, already wondering how things were going with Ennis, and he entered the warm building, the aroma of caffeine filling his nostrils. He'd always loved the smell, and he smiled to himself as he realised that the last cup of coffee he'd had was at Ennis's place. He and Ennis had actually taken a shower together before they left for his place. They hadn't had sex in there, but Ennis had turned Jack around and soaped his back for him, Jack returning the favour afterwards. They'd done a lot of kissing, too. Jack loved kissing Ennis; there was just something about how his lips felt and tasted against his that sent volts through him.

Jack was starting to realise that his feelings for Ennis were deeper now that they had slept together. It felt as if they'd crossed a threshold of some sort, and were ready to move forward. He thought about this as he took a seat at the counter. Lureen came over to him, a smile on her face. "Hey, Jack. The usual?" He nodded and she started preparing it for him.

"So," she began. "How's it going with Ennis?" Jack grinned.

"Going really well, thanks." She caught the look in his eye and tilted her head, working out what seemed so different about him.

"Oh...did you two...do it?" she asked, eyes widening. Jack's grin widened.

"Yep." She smiled; even though things would never be easy for them, she got the sense that it was the right time for both of them. She knew that Ennis would be good to Jack.

"So...how was it?"

Jack sighed. "It was...wonderful. Just...felt so right. You know? I was thinking that it might be too soon, but...when we were doing it, I...I knew that it was the right time. Felt so good to be with him like that."

Lureen smiled. "That sounds great, Jack. So how were things this morning?"

"Well, we were at his place, and he made me breakfast. Then he ran me over to my place to change and take my meds." He fiddled with the rim of his cup. "Sure was nice...having him take care of me like that." He looked up at her. "Lu, I...I told him a few things. That I can't just have a casual thing; that I need something stable. I said that I don't expect him to make any promises to me. But...he said that as long as we're together, he promises to be there for me, to be the kind of guy I need." Jack's cheeks reddened and he looked down into his coffee. "Nobody's ever said things like that to me before..."

Lureen shook his shoulder. "You deserve to hear those things, Jack. And I really think that you can trust him. He seems like someone who means everything he says. I don't think he would have said those things if he didn't mean them."

Jack nodded. "I know. I really do trust him, and...I'm falling for him, Lureen. Big time. What we did last night...I've never felt like that in my whole life. Like...I was supposed to be right there, with him." He blushed again. "Well..." Lureen smiled and left him to his own devices as she served another customer.

With just half an hour to go until the end of the lunch break, Ennis burst into the coffeehouse, looking around for Jack. He just had to see his lover before returning to work. Spying Jack at the counter, Ennis crept up to him and planted a kiss on the back of his neck. Jack jumped and looked around. His face lit up when he saw who it was. "Ennis!" He jumped off his stool and hugged Ennis tightly to him, grinning. Ennis held him close, nose in his hair. Lureen watched the reunion with a smile on her lips.

Jack pulled away and was about to kiss Ennis, but his brow furrowed when he looked at Ennis's face. "Bud, what...?" There was a set of scratches on Ennis's face, on his cheek. They weren't deep or bleeding, but still looked painful. Jack touched them gingerly. "What happened?"

"This cat was supposed to have a shot, but he was being an ornery little bastard and scratched everybody who came near him," Ennis replied, shaking his head. "They got him under control and gave him the shot while I had these checked. They're fine," he reassured Jack. "Don't even hurt anymore."

Jack sighed and very gently pressed his lips to Ennis's cheek, and then his lips. "Come and sit down." He pulled Ennis onto the stool next to him and took his hand as Ennis ordered some coffee. With the events of Ennis's morning, discussed and put aside, their thoughts turned to last night; how the other had felt, tasted, smelled, sounded and looked. Both of them could remember every detail of the night before by going through these five senses, and there was something more as well; how they had each felt in their hearts as their bodies had joined together. When they thought about each other and last night, one word in particular came to mind to describe it. But they both thought it was way too soon to even think on it properly, let alone verbalise it.

Still, as they held hands and talked, drinking their coffee one-handed, both of them knew that things would go from strength to strength as their relationship continued, and they were looking forward to the day when they could say that word. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long before the right time hit.

* * *

On Thursday morning, Ennis and Jack were lying in Jack's bed, enjoying some quiet time before they had to get up. Ennis was on his back and Jack on his front, softly kissing Ennis's face and neck. They'd spent the night together once more; ever since their first time on Monday night, they didn't want to sleep alone in their apartments. Even if they didn't have sex, they wanted to sleep in the same bed. Last night they had made love for the second time, and Jack was feeling loose-limbed and warm now.

He was smiling as he kissed Ennis's face, enjoying the feel of Ennis's stubble on his chin. Jack pulled away and folded his arms on Ennis's chest, resting his chin on them. He watched Ennis thoughtfully.

"You know something? I really like those freckles on your face..."

Ennis raised his eyebrows. "Really? I never cared much for them. But I've always had them. Probably because of living here, where there's a lot of sun."

"And because you're blonde," Jack pointed out, nodding at the messy curls on the pillow. "They're kinda cute, you know." Ennis went red.

"No they're not..." Jack laughed a little and shuffled up, closer to Ennis's face.

"Yeah they are. Tell you what...I heard that freckles are angel kisses. How about that?" Jack said softly, kissing each cheek. Ennis tangled one hand in Jack's dark hair.

"I got an angel kissing me now," he murmured, looking up into Jack's eyes. Jack paused and looked back at him, thoroughly taken aback by what Ennis had just said. He thought his heart would melt there and then.

"Ennis..." he whispered, touching his lover's face with his hand. He swallowed. "That's...that's probably the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me. I..." His voice caught in his throat. "I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything, Jack. Come here." Ennis pulled Jack into his arms, holding him close and rubbing his back. "Meant what I just said, you know..."

"I know you did," Jack breathed into his ear, sighing. He smiled and kissed Ennis's neck. After several moments of caressing each other, Jack started to get riled up again. "Ennis?"

"Yeah?"

"I, um...I'd like to try something...if it's alright with you." He took a deep breath and pulled back to meet Ennis's eyes.

"What, Jack?"

"I...I'd like to..." He paused. "To...have my mouth...down there. You know...a blow job."

"Oh." Ennis had never had one before; he'd considered it with Alma when they'd been together, but he didn't know how she might react. So it had never happened. But here was Jack, willing and wanting to do it. "I...I've never had one of them before."

"I did, back in high school," Jack admitted. "Did it with this girl one night when I was about eighteen. It was pretty good." He smiled. "But...the thing is...I know things are different now." He reared up onto his knees. "With me doing it, I could swallow if I wanted to, since it's...well...kind of too late to worry about that, and you're clean anyway. And I keep checking; there's no cuts or sores in my mouth, so you'd be safe."

"What if you did have to use a rubber?" Ennis asked, looking doubtful. "Bet they wouldn't taste nice."

Jack grinned. "That's why they do them in flavours these days," he replied. Both of them started laughing, and Jack was soon kissing Ennis with a smile on his lips.

When they pulled apart, they were breathing heavily and hard. "Ennis...is it okay? Can I?" Jack asked, gesturing his head down. Ennis nodded, eyes on Jack's face.

"Yeah, go ahead." He gave a nervous grin, and Jack kissed him once more before straddling him and starting to move down the bed. As he moved south, he pressed wet kisses to Ennis's strong, lean chest, running his hands over the hard muscles. He'd been right in his initial impression of Ennis; he was manly and rugged and Jack found it all very arousing.

He reached his destination and settled himself, spreading Ennis's legs wider. "Just relax," he said softly, looking up into the molten brown eyes. "Gonna make it so good." Ennis nodded and his head fell back, biting his lip in anticipation. Jack nuzzled his face into the hair; blonde yet darker than that on Ennis's head. He then licked slowly up one side of Ennis's erection, which was already leaking. Jack smiled and lapped up the tiny drop, making Ennis gasp.

"Oh, God..." He grabbed the sheets in his hands, curling them in his fists. Jack grinned and returned his mouth to his task, now sucking gently on Ennis's balls in turn and running his hands over Ennis's legs. He moved one hand around and slipped it into Ennis, fingering him while sucking at him. He then took Ennis in his mouth fully, sucking hard and fast. Ennis was moaning and bucking, completely lost in what Jack was doing to him. "Jack...God..."

Jack sucked enthusiastically a few more times and moved his finger a little, and he was soon drinking down the liquid that tasted like nothing else. While Ennis was recovering, Jack crawled back up and quickly put a condom on, not wanting his come to get anywhere near Ennis; they had to keep their wits about them. Once covered, he jerked himself off until he came and then collapsed on his back. He removed the rubber and got up to dispose of it.

He came back into the bedroom and smiled at the sight of Ennis. He was smiling dozily at Jack, reaching out with one arm. "C'mere, bud." Jack crawled back onto the bed and tucked himself close to Ennis, kissing his cheek.

"You like that?" he asked, nuzzling Ennis's neck with his nose. Ennis sighed and nodded.

"Sure did. That was good." He looked over at the bedside clock. "Be time to get up soon..."

"Yeah." They felt themselves drifting off, dozing lightly until the alarm clock went off.

* * *

_August 15th, 2009_

Saturday finally arrived, and Jack realised that he and Ennis had officially been together for a week now. He woke up in Ennis's bed that morning and watched his lover sleep peacefully, the golden curls spread over the pillow. Ennis looked beautiful as he slept, and Jack could feel his heart swelling with everything he felt for Ennis. This wonderful man not only made him very happy, but also knew the truth about him and was still around, still wanting to be with him. Jack counted himself very lucky to have found someone like this.

When Ennis finally awoke, they took a shower together and then started making breakfast, side by side in the kitchen.

"So what are we doing today?" Ennis asked as he buttered the toast.

"Well, I was thinking, why don't we spend the day with the girls? We did say we'd all spend some time together. And I know Lureen isn't working today. Alma works nights, right?"

"Yep, and I think she's got a shift tonight. But she's free all day."

Jack nodded. "Okay. We can spend the day with them, and then you and I can do something by ourselves tonight."

Ennis smiled at him. "Sounds good." They sat down and started on their breakfast, Jack running his foot up and down Ennis's leg, smiling at him. "Don't go getting me riled up, bud."

"Why? What you gonna do? Shove everything off the table and bend me over it?" Jack asked, his eyes glittering. Ennis smiled back, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He continued to eat, and Jack dropped his foot, sensing that something was amiss.

In truth, Ennis wasn't quite sure about what Jack had implied. Every time they'd had full sex, it had always been Jack fucking him. He loved having sex with Jack, but there was something holding him back from trying to be the one in control. Every time he thought about it, he would remember how Jack had got HIV in the first place, and he couldn't shake off the mental image of Jack being attacked. Something in his mind told him that if he tried to top Jack, then his lover would immediately remember how it had felt to be forced upon like that, and he would freak out. Ennis didn't want that to happen, so he was content with what they were already doing. But he knew that there would come a time when Jack would start to question why he wouldn't top him.

To try and cover up his discomfort, Ennis cleared his throat. "So...since we're spending time with the girls today, what are we doing tonight?" Jack raised his eyebrows, a small smile on his face. Ennis rolled his eyes. "Apart from that."

"I was thinking we'd see a movie," Jack replied. "You know, that Time Traveller's Wife movie came out yesterday, I'd like to see that."

"Alright, sounds good. I'll pay for dinner, you pay for the tickets?" Jack nodded and smiled.

They finished their breakfast and then called Alma and Lureen. Both of them were free for a day out and it was soon decided. They would head downtown for the morning, where the girls would shop, and then have lunch. After that, they would walk up to Fisherman's Wharf and spend some time by the sea. It sounded like the perfect day out, given how lovely the weather was already.

Ennis and Alma waited at their building while Jack picked up Lureen, and then they headed off. People who saw them assumed that they were two guys with their girlfriends, until the two guys started holding hands as they waited around while the girls shopped. Alma and Lureen talked about their friends while they were alone, voicing their approval of the relationship, and how relieved they were that their friends were finally happy. But both of them knew how hard things might get for them, especially if Ennis ever took Jack to meet his parents. Alma reassured Lureen that Ennis wasn't the type to give up just because he had a hurdle in front of him; he would try and work it out until he found a solution. This said, they agreed that even if Ennis's parents didn't approve of him seeing Jack, he would very likely not let it affect him; their relationship would still be solid.

The rest of the day was pleasant, and Jack soon forgot his thoughts this morning; that something had gone amiss with Ennis when he'd made his suggestion about Ennis fucking him. Maybe Ennis was just nervous about it.

When evening arrived, the girls went home and Ennis and Jack went to the theatre to catch the movie. They loaded up on popcorn, chips and drinks and found themselves some seats at the back. It was fairly busy, with the movie being brand new, but they didn't feel uncomfortable. They slowly ate their way through the food and then snuggled together to watch the rest of the movie. Nobody bothered them or looked at them funny; they were left alone, even when they exchanged a few kisses here and there. The movie was good, but the company was even better.

After the movie finished and they were leaving the theatre, Jack turned to Ennis, their hands entwined. "I had a good time today," he said softly, looking up into his lover's eyes. Ennis smiled and nodded.

"Me too." He lifted up their hands and kissed Jack's. "Been together for a week now, you know."

"I know...just flown by, hasn't it?" Jack replied. Ennis released his hand and put his arm around him as they headed outside.

"Sure has, bud. You ready to go back?"

"Yep. Your place or mine?" Jack asked him, eyes shining. Ennis considered.

"Well, we stayed at my place last night, so...what about your place?" Jack nodded.

"Okay."

Ennis didn't say so, but he preferred it when they stayed at Jack's place. He was near his medication so he could take it as soon as he woke up. Ennis didn't want to leave anything to chance where Jack's health was concerned.

* * *

They got back to Jack's place, kissing as soon as the door closed behind them. Jack pulled Ennis close, grinning into his mouth.

"Been looking forward to this all day," he said around Ennis's tongue, hands roaming down his lover's back to cup his ass. Ennis smiled.

"Don't see how," he replied between kisses. "We did it last night; don't you ever get enough? And remember this morning?"

Jack pulled away and smirked. "Can't ever get enough of you," he said in a low voice, eyes glittering. "I'm serious, Ennis...I know one thing. I won't ever get bored of this." Ennis felt his arousal grow even further as he saw Jack's bright eyes, darkened with lust, roam his body. He let out a low growl and grabbed the front of Jack's shirt, pulling him back for another searing kiss, tongue plunging into his mouth. Jack moaned and his fingers were drawn to Ennis's buttons, undoing them rapidly. Ennis was doing the same to him, but then Jack wrenched his lips away. "Mmm, wait..."

"What is it?" Ennis asked, fearful that something was wrong. Jack looked sheepish.

"I gotta use the bathroom. It'll be sort of tricky if you keep me here much longer." Ennis sighed, a smile on his face, and swatted Jack's ass.

"Alright. I can wait." Jack kissed him.

"Why don't you get on the bed and wait for me?" he murmured, eyes full of lust. Ennis nodded and they briefly parted ways, anticipation running through them both.

When Jack came out of the bathroom and entered the bedroom, Ennis was waiting for him. He was naked, lying on the covers against the headboard, with one leg raised to cover his groin from where Jack was standing. Jack paused in the doorway, smiling.

"Don't waste any time, do you?" he asked. Ennis shrugged, hand resting on his chest.

"Wanna join me?" he said softly, patting the bed beside him. Jack nodded and pulled his shirt off, throwing it to the chair in the corner. He quickly removed his jeans, sneakers and underwear, eager to get to his lover. Ennis grinned when Jack crawled onto the bed next to him, kissing his neck. They moved in close, kissing and nipping at each other's skin, and they moved down the bed so that they were lying properly.

Ennis tugged at Jack's hip, and Jack rolled on top of him, pinning him down with his warm weight. Jack buried his fingers in the blonde curls and sucked hard on Ennis's neck, hearing him moan. "Oh, Jack..."

Before meeting, neither of them knew much at all about foreplay and intimacy. They hadn't learned about it from anyone. It had just come naturally to both of them; they had soon figured out what each other liked and they wanted to make each other feel good.

Jack released Ennis's neck and kissed his lips. "What do you want, Ennis?" he breathed, eyes locking together. "Tell me what you want."

"Want you in me," he whispered, groaning as he felt Jack grinding against him. Jack nuzzled his nose.

"You got it. Front, behind or side?" he asked, kissing him lightly.

"Front," Ennis replied. "Wanna see you..." Jack nodded and rose up onto his knees. He grabbed a condom and unwrapped it with his teeth, spitting the torn off part at the corner. This simple act caused Ennis to grow even harder. Jack covered himself and then grabbed the lube. He put some on his fingers and lifted Ennis's leg.

"Come on, wrap them around my waist," he instructed. Ennis did so and Jack moved his hand around, slipping a finger in and working it around. He saw Ennis bite his lip.

"Oh..."

"Feel good?" Jack whispered. Ennis nodded and Jack inserted another finger, drawing a low moan out of him.

After a few moments, Ennis opened his eyes. "I'm ready..." Jack removed his fingers and smeared the lube over himself, making sure not to make it too slippery. He didn't want the condom sliding off. He moved closer to Ennis and started to push in, biting his lip. Ennis breathed deeply, trying to relax as he felt Jack move inside him, heading in deeper. It was a little painful, but he remembered how it felt when they got going, and this thought gave him the courage to wait it out when he felt the pain. He knew that Jack didn't like hurting him, but it was necessary it they wanted to do this, and they did.

Jack slid all the way in and began to move slowly, leaning down and capturing Ennis's lips as they rocked together. Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack's neck and pulled him close, moaning in his ear. As the pace increased, Jack nipped at Ennis's neck and pushed deeper, trying to find that special place. He knew he'd found it when he heard Ennis moan again and squeeze him with his legs. He moved faster and pushed in deeper, not letting up.

Ennis gave a yell and shot in between them, gripping Jack for dear life. The force of his orgasm triggered Jack's, and he let loose. He collapsed onto Ennis and sighed. "Mmm..."

"That was good," Ennis breathed.

"Sure was..." Jack slowly pulled out and pulled off the condom, walking out of the door and to the bathroom, disposing of it and then returning. He crawled back onto the bed and snuggled close to Ennis, kissing his cheek. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Ennis replied, smiling over at him. He raised his hand and stroked Jack's cheek. "Come here..." They leaned in and their lips met softly, kissing a couple of times. They then got under the covers and moved in close on their sides, Ennis with his arm around Jack, and Jack with his head against Ennis's chest. Before closing their eyes, Jack kissed Ennis's cheek again and smiled.

"Night, Ennis."

Ennis smiled widely, feeling a strong emotion build up inside him as he looked into Jack's deep blue eyes. "Night, bud."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_August 20th, 2009_

Jack was sat in the coffeehouse at lunchtime, spending a rare moment alone. Lureen was ill and Ennis was busy at work, unable to get away just yet. It was the first time in a number of days that Jack hadn't been hanging around with at least one of them.

As he sat, drinking his coffee and reading a magazine, his thoughts drifted to Ennis, as if of their own accord. It was as though his brain was trained to think of Ennis when nothing else was going on. They had now been together for twelve days, almost two weeks, and Jack had to acknowledge that things were going very well. The pair of them were very happy and Jack loved spending time with Ennis.

He was a little apprehensive of how Ennis's parents might react to the truth about him if and when they found out, but there wasn't anything he could do about that. At least he could be assured that their reaction wouldn't change the fact that Ennis wanted to be with him; Ennis had told him so, with a certain amount of conviction in his voice. Jack knew that he would simply have to trust Ennis on this one.

That was another thing to think about. Ever since his diagnosis, Jack had found it hard to trust people. Lureen and his mother were about the only people he trusted at first, and he'd always longed for someone else; a man who would be everything he needed in a partner. He'd needed someone who he could trust not to bolt when things became difficult. Unfortunately, for every date he'd had over the last five years, he'd never had the chance to see them develop and maybe find that someone.

Until Ennis. This shy, endearing man with a wild streak had walked into his life and changed everything. Jack was thankful that he'd approached Ennis that day; given how shy Ennis had been, they might not have ever gotten together otherwise. And now, things were improving in leaps and bounds. They spent every night together, even if they didn't have sex. Without really discussing it, they had somehow agreed to take it in turns when sleeping at each other's place. Tonight, they were staying at Jack's place, and Jack got the feeling that Ennis preferred it when they slept there. He seemed a little calmer, and Jack suspected it might be because of the meds being right there when they woke up. If that was true, then Jack was touched; Ennis was simply thinking of his well-being.

Jack flicked a page over, his eyes not really focused on what he was reading. He wondered if Ennis would manage to get away; maybe they could meet up here or in the park. They'd been for a walk the other day, but that didn't matter. Jack loved walking through the park with Ennis, holding his hand. He'd always been somewhat of a romantic and he was loving all of the romantic aspects of being in a relationship.

His thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone buzzing on the table; he had a message. He flicked it open to find a text from Ennis.

_Just got out. Where are you? _

Jack smiled and his fingers trembled a little as he replied.

_Coffee place. Come join me :) _

He put his phone down and drank the rest of his coffee, signalling to the waitress for a refill. He kept one eye on the door as he drank and decided to order some sandwiches for when Ennis arrived.

Jack was just starting on his half of the plate when the door opened, revealing the man who was becoming his whole world. He almost choked when he realised this; he was falling in love with Ennis. He hadn't even been with him for two weeks and he was already having serious feelings for him. It was way too soon to be voicing these feelings, but he couldn't deny them. He was in love.

Ennis was oblivious to Jack's thoughts, but he smiled as he approached. "Hey." Jack shook himself and smiled back.

"Hey, bud." He rose up to meet Ennis's kiss eagerly, flicking his tongue into Ennis's mouth for a second and pulling away. Ennis sat down opposite him and ordered a coffee.

"So, how's it going?"

Jack nodded. "Pretty good. I, um...I got these for both of us. Half a plate each. Help yourself." Ennis smiled gratefully and tucked in, very thankful as he hadn't eaten since breakfast. He started relaying his morning to Jack, knowing by now that Jack was interested in hearing about his day, just because they were together.

"So anyway," Ennis was saying. "This woman was in hysterics about it. Porcupine was just trying to protect itself like they do. Not its fault that her dumb dog wouldn't leave it alone. I thought we'd have to give her a shot to calm her down. The dog's gonna be fine now we got all the pines out, but from the way she was going on, you'd think it'd had its paw taken clean off." He shook his head. "I swear...women..."

Jack laughed. "I know. You should see Lureen when she can't find her cell. One time, she got it in her head that she'd left it at my place. Turned it upside down trying to find the damn thing. Was in her jacket pocket all along." He smirked. "Good job they don't do anything for us, right? More trouble than they're worth."

"Yep." Ennis smiled back and took Jack's hand, lacing their fingers together. "Got all I need right here." Jack's heart leapt in his chest as he looked into the warm, honey-coloured eyes. He knew for sure now that he loved Ennis, and he hoped to hell that Ennis felt the same. Ennis had said some of the sweetest things to him over the last two weeks, and this gave Jack hope that Ennis loved him right back. Maybe soon, he would hear it for certain.

* * *

Once they were finished at work, they headed back to Jack's place to relax and have some dinner together. Jack had to pick up a fresh supply of meds on the way, and Ennis decided to drive his own car to his apartment, and wait for Jack to pick him up.

At six, they were at Jack's apartment and making dinner together. Ennis had found that Jack loved Oriental food; he said that it made him sweat and release toxins, which was a good thing for his body. Ennis pointed out to him once that he could think of a better way for them to sweat, and Jack had jumped on him in response.

When they were sat at the table, Ennis's phone rang, and he extracted it from his pocket. "It's my mom," he said to Jack. "Do you mind?"

"'Course not," Jack replied, shaking his head. "Go on." Ennis flipped open his phone and pressed it to his ear.

"Hey, mom."

"Hi sweetie, just wondering how things were. Been a while since we talked."

"I know. Had a lot going on," he answered, picking his fork back up and twirling some noodles around it. Jack was watching him.

"Nothing bad, I hope," his mother said, sounding concerned.

"No. Just..." He looked into Jack's eyes. "I met someone, here in the city." Jack nodded his encouragement.

"Really? That's great! A...a guy, I take it?"

"Yeah. His name's Jack. He lives on the north side of the park, up in the Richmond District."

"I see. What's he like?"

"Um...well, he's really nice, and...things are going well." Even at almost thirty, he still got embarrassed talking to his mother about his love life.

"That's good. You think you might bring him up here one day?"

"Oh...I don't know. We've only been together nearly two weeks. Kind of soon..."

"I understand. Well, if you ever do want to bring him here, he's more than welcome."

"Thanks, mom. Um...listen, I'd better go...we're having dinner and I don't want it going cold."

"Say no more, sweetheart. I'll talk to you soon."

"Yep, bye." He pulled the phone from his ear and put it back on the table, sighing. Jack chewed for a moment and then swallowed.

"You okay?"

Ennis shrugged. "I guess. She's nice enough about you right now, but...if they find out the truth..."

Jack slid his hand across the table to cover Ennis's. "Bud...it's okay. Just remember what you told me. That nothing they say or do will stop you wanting to be with me. You still believe that?" Ennis nodded earnestly.

"You know I do, Jack," he replied, looking into his eyes. "But...they're my parents. No matter how old you get, you always want their approval."

"I know. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Jack grinned. "Speaking of which...how far is it up there?"

"About fourteen miles. Takes about half an hour, so long as the bridge isn't too busy. Why?"

"Just wondering...if we ever do go up there." Jack shrugged. "Anyway..." They returned to their food and tried to forget the possible reaction of Ennis's parents.

Jack was putting the dishes on the sideboard when Ennis came up to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck. "Darlin'..." came the whisper, so soft that Jack initially thought he'd imagined it. He froze and turned, looking at Ennis's face. The dark eyes were shut but Ennis looked peaceful.

"What did you just call me?" he asked, unsure of what he may or may not have heard. Ennis opened his eyes.

"Called you...darlin'. I just...been thinking of that word for you for a while. Couples have those kind of names for each other, right? Just figured...best word I can think for you right now."

Jack smiled. "Oh. What should I call you?"

"Whatever you want, bud," Ennis replied, nuzzling his neck. Jack considered.

"Hmm...honey doesn't sound right. Too feminine. Your mom calls you sweetheart, right?"

"Yeah. I don't mind if you wanna call me that, though."

Jack thought for a moment. "What about baby? That sounds good." He saw Ennis's cheeks reddening. "Aw, you like it."

"Hmm, guess so. Tell you what...you wanna go sit on the sofa, watch TV for a while before we go to bed?"

"And here was me thinking you were just up here for the incredible sex," Jack said, laughter in his voice.

"Well, yeah...but I like just sitting with you, too," Ennis admitted, rubbing one hand over Jack's stomach. "Let's take the wine in with us." Jack nodded and they pulled apart, grabbing the bottle and their glasses before moving to the living room.

They curled up on the sofa together and Jack flicked through the channels, finally settling on a rerun of Friends. Jack rested his head on Ennis's shoulder and sighed a little, feeling warm and cosy here with his lover. Ennis put an arm around him and kissed the side of his head. "This is real nice," he said softly. Jack smiled up at him.

"Sure is. Ennis, I...I'm really happy, being with you. Just want you to know that."

"I do," Ennis assured him. "I'm happy too, Jack. I know things won't be easy, if my parents find out...but...I'll still wanna be with you no matter what. They don't control my life and they don't decide who I see. This is up to me, and...I'm choosing to see this through, however long it lasts. Even if...it's a forever kind of thing."

Jack sighed and closed his eyes. "Yeah. I'd sure like that...live together maybe...one day..."

"Yeah, maybe one day."

"I know it's too soon to talk about that stuff, Ennis. I won't be demanding anything of you. Right now...I just need this. Being here with you, spending time together...this is good for me right now."

"Me too, darlin'," Ennis replied, smiling down at him. Jack lifted his head to meet his eyes, and before either of them could register it, they were making out on the sofa, ready to cap off another wonderful night.

* * *

A couple of days later, on the Sunday, Ennis and Jack met for lunch in a café on Market Street. They would normally have gone together, but Jack had had a doctor's appointment in the morning so they had agreed to meet afterwards.

Things were going very well for both of them. Ennis had gotten around to arranging himself regular HIV tests at the clinic. It had been decided that since he and Jack slept together often, and test results took two weeks to come back, he would get himself tested every two months. That seemed like a good period of time. Despite all their efforts in being careful, they both knew that there was always a slim chance of Ennis becoming infected. Jack hadn't asked him what he would do if the virus was passed on; he was scared to hear the answer. A large part of him feared that if Ennis was infected, he would resent Jack and break up with him. Jack wanted to trust Ennis enough to be sure that this wouldn't happen, but he was scared. It was the only thing that scared him; in all other ways, he trusted Ennis completely.

Still, as he made his way to the café after his appointment, looking forward to seeing Ennis again even though they'd barely been apart today, Jack tried to push these thoughts aside and just live in the now; focus on what was happening on a day-to-day basis. It kept him sane and feeling in control of his life, which was very important for someone like him.

He walked into the café and spotted Ennis in the corner, sipping coffee and looking over the menu, trying to decide what to have. Jack smiled and made his way over, and Ennis lifted his head. Pure happiness flooded through him at the sight of his blue-eyed lover, smiling at him the way he was. "Hey," he said as Jack sat down opposite him. Jack leaned over and kissed him.

"Hey yourself. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. What about you? Everything okay at the doctor's?" Ennis asked in concern.

Jack smiled. "Yep. T-cell count's still high, viral load's low. I'm feeling pretty good." Ennis nodded.

"Good. Want you to be okay, Jack," he replied, his eyes going soft and warm, it seemed to Jack. Their hands found each other across the table.

"I know. So, um...what are we having?" he said, nodding at the menu. Ennis held it out so that they could both see it, and they spent a few moments debating with themselves.

With it being a warm day, they both settled on a plate salad; Jack with tuna, Ennis with ham. They also chose to have large, cool glasses of orange juice. As they ate, they talked about the week ahead. Most of their days were devoted to work, but they liked to make plans for evenings and weekends. During the week, after work and the occasional trip to the gym or doctor for Jack, it was usually dinner and TV at either apartment, then at least one lovemaking session before they fell asleep. If they woke up early enough, they could go again before having to face the new day. The routine was comfortable and Jack was a lot happier than he'd ever been.

"So, do you wanna do something different this weekend?" Jack asked, looking at Ennis over his glass.

"Like what?"

"Well...we normally go around the city and then do dinner and a movie. But...I was thinking of something different." At Ennis's raised eyebrow, Jack continued. "I've been wanting to go down to Half Moon Bay ever since I got here, but never really had the time. Do you wanna go down there for the day sometime?"

"Oh..." This would mark the first time that they'd ever taken a trip together, even if it was just less than an hour away. Ennis considered for a moment and then smiled. Lying on a beach with Jack, maybe kissing amongst the sand dunes...it sounded very appealing, and he nodded. "I'd like that. Be good to get out of the city for a while."

"Well...it is actually a city, but I bet it feels different," Jack reasoned. "And we can lie on the beach." He grinned. "Wouldn't mind seeing you in a pair of trunks."

Ennis could feel himself reddening. "Jack..."

Jack wasn't letting up. "You know I like looking at your legs, bud." He leaned in. "Especially when they're wrapped around my neck," he whispered. Ennis's blush deepened and he looked down at his food, trying to ignore the feeling of his jeans tightening.

"Damn it, Jack," he muttered, knowing that Jack was loving this. That man did love to tease him, and no matter how much he squirmed over it, Ennis knew that he wouldn't change a thing. If he could change anything about Jack, it would be somehow making him negative again, so that he was healthy, but that wasn't an option. Most of the time, Jack's spirits were quite high, and he didn't let things get to him too much. This made things a little better for Ennis, too. He took his cue from Jack; keeping calm, talking about the virus in a matter-of-fact way and not letting things get too heavy. They had their moments when they let their emotions through, like when he'd promised to stand by Jack for as long as he could, and when Jack had admitted to what he needed from this relationship, and that was okay. Ennis had quickly picked up on how Jack was dealing with the reality of his life, and tried to be the same way.

They finished their lunch and then walked around, slowly heading for the park. It was a beautiful day and they were enjoying their time together. As they sat on a bench by the lake and made out, Jack felt as if he'd truly had a stroke of luck in meeting Ennis, and he hoped that things would work out for them.

* * *

That night, Ennis and Jack lay in bed together, after an evening spent at his place, where they'd watched a movie and ordered in a pizza, neither of them feeling like cooking. As a special treat, and noticing that Jack had seemed worn out, Ennis had produced a bottle of massage oil with a shy smile on his face.

"_Just thought...with you going to the gym every other day and how you work all day, lifting heavy stuff...might be good to help those muscles relax."_

_Jack smiled, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. "Ennis...that sounds great. Thank you."_

"_No problem." Ennis allowed Jack to turn over onto his front and straddled him, warming the oil between his hands. "Just relax, darlin'..."_

"_Mmm..." Jack purred with contentment as Ennis began to rub his muscles, working out the tension of the day. "That's real good..."_

"_I'm glad, Jack," Ennis murmured in his ear, nuzzling him._

After this, he'd then rubbed Jack's chest until he was completely relaxed. Then he'd shifted down the bed and started to give him a blow job, being very careful about where he was putting his tongue. Having already discussed it before, Jack had given him the signal to stop before he could shoot. Ennis had then quickly put a condom on Jack before resuming his sucking, until Jack reached his climax. He'd then jerked himself off to completion and disposed of the rubber, cleaning them both up before crawling back into bed.

Ennis stirred on his side now, thinking of these earlier activities. He saw that Jack was fast asleep, a slight smile on his face. Jack looked beautiful as he slept, and Ennis couldn't deny the feelings that stirred within him as he watched his lover.

He thought to when he'd sucked Jack off. If Jack hadn't remembered to give the signal, he would have forgotten the risks and carried on...and what then? He would probably have been infected.

But that kind of thinking wouldn't do him any good. He'd known, right from when they had properly formed their relationship, of the risks involved. He had had sex with Jack numerous times in spite of what he knew. Maybe he was a brave man for doing that, but he just thought of himself as human. It wasn't Jack's fault that being with him was a risk; it was just the reality. He was falling in love with Jack; he knew that now. And since he could accept this fact, he knew that he would simply have to live with this harsh reality.

As Ennis thought about this, he realised something. Being with Jack, in every way that meant, wasn't that tough to deal with. He was a kind, loving man, quick to smile and eager to make him happy. He was grateful for every day that he was alive, and it showed. In a sexual sense, it wasn't that difficult to get used to. They simply had to remember one thing; as long as the one using their mouth didn't have cuts or sores, the golden rule was that Jack's come couldn't be anywhere near Ennis, especially his mouth or ass. Like last night - he hadn't been able to swallow, had had to put a condom on Jack before finishing him off, but it was okay. Apart from that little aspect, they could have a normal sex life.

He sighed a little and turned back onto his side, facing away from Jack. His thoughts were swirling around in his head and he couldn't get back to sleep. Just as he was contemplating getting up for a glass of water, he felt Jack stirring beside him, shuffling up to his back and slipping an arm around him. Ennis smiled as he felt a pair of lips on his neck.

"You alright over there?" Jack murmured. "You could wake the dead with all that moving around."

"I'm okay. Just thinking."

"Dangerous, that," Jack answered, and Ennis could feel him grinning. "What you thinking about?"

"You, me...all this." Jack's hand suddenly stopped from where it had been rubbing his stomach.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying not to sound fearful. Ennis covered Jack's hand with his own, squeezing it.

"Nothing bad, Jack," he reassured him. "Just thinking is all."

Jack relaxed. "Okay. You wanna share?"

"Well...alright. Let me turn so I can see you." Jack did so and Ennis rolled onto his other side, now facing him. "Thing is...I like you a lot, Jack. So much...I feel pretty strong on you."

Jack smiled. "The feeling's mutual, bud." Ennis nodded.

"Well...just thinking...this whole thing isn't easy. Being with you, and how we always have to be careful. But..." His hand found Jack's under the covers, and he smiled. "But in spite of how hard it is...I know that it's what I want." He hesitated. "If there was one thing I could change about all this, you know what it'd be?"

"What?" Jack asked, eyes soft. Ennis bit his lip; he had a feeling how Jack might react to this, but he just had to say it.

"I'd make it so that you weren't positive. That you were healthy. That's the only thing I would change about you, if I could. Not even for me...but for you."

Jack could feel his eyes prickling and he felt a lump in his throat. "Ennis..." He couldn't say anything more, but he moved closer and burrowed himself in Ennis's arms, head against his chest. Ennis understood, and put his arms around Jack, rubbing his back. He knew that Jack was deeply moved by what he'd just said. But he couldn't deny that it was true; he loved Jack, and only wanted the best of health for him. Since there currently existed no cure for HIV, he would have to settle for loving Jack the best he could, and just hope that he would remain in good health. That was all they could hope for, and Ennis was determined to make Jack as happy as he could.

* * *

A few days later, Ennis and Jack were both at work, trying to concentrate and not get too distracted by thoughts of what they'd been up to the night before. Ennis still blushed whenever he thought about it. Jack had bought a can of whipped cream during the day, and had produced it from his fridge, a smile on his face.

"_What's that for?" Ennis asked dubiously, eyeing it. Jack grinned even further._

"_Well...I thought that...when we're on the bed and naked, I could...slather this all over you and lick it off," he replied, eyes glittering. Ennis felt himself harden already._

"_Oh...right. Um...so...we going to bed then?" he asked, looking hopeful. Jack took his hand and started pulling him towards the bedroom._

"_You bet we are." Once inside, Jack made good on his statement. When they were naked, he straddled Ennis and shook the can, looking forward to this. He directed a trail of cream down Ennis's front to his navel, and then covered his hardness with it too. Just for fun, he put some on Ennis's neck too, because he loved to put his lips there._

_He licked it all off, as promised, until Ennis was moaning and thrashing on the bed. Jack took him in his mouth and sucked him dry in just a few strokes. Ennis collapsed on the bed and Jack crawled back up, settling on his chest._

"_You like that, baby?" he asked with a satisfied smile. Ennis opened his eyes and gave a dozy grin._

"_Sure did."_

Ennis shook his head, silently cursing himself for doing what he said he wouldn't; thinking about last night while trying to work. _Damn that man,_ he thought to himself, but affectionately. Last night had been a lot of fun, he had to admit. Sex with Jack was never going to be dull.

On the other side of the park, Jack too was trying, with no success, to concentrate on work. His mind kept drifting back to last night, and what they'd been doing. The thought had merely occurred to him while grocery shopping after work, and he'd been unable to stop the visions in his head. So he'd bought the whipped cream and they'd had some fun with it.

Jack wasn't aware, but his workmates had noticed that he was looking a lot happier lately. At first, they'd figured it was because he was finally settling into the city, but as they watched him, they thought it might be for another reason. One of the girls had seen him with Ennis, and had noticed how happy he looked. She saw his face whenever he looked at Ennis, and put two and two together. She'd told the other girls, who jumped on this piece of gossip. They were the ones who kept flirting with Jack, despite knowing he was gay. They had been so sure that by using their charms on him, they could turn him straight. But after learning of Ennis's existence in Jack's life, they conceded defeat. It was crystal clear that the mysterious blonde man made Jack happy, and they knew that they didn't have a chance.

During a short break, Jack stepped outside for some fresh air. He leaned against the wall and thought about Ennis, wondering what they would have for dinner tonight. A set of female voices drifted from around the corner.

"So, has anybody else seen that blonde guy? Is he really Jack's boyfriend?"

"I think so. I saw them at the theatre last week; they sure looked cosy. Saw them holding hands."

"Wow. I mean...I know Jack told us he's gay, but...I really thought that one of us would nab him. I thought that all he needed was a good woman, like one of us."

"Guess not. I'm telling you...they look like they're in love. This guy, whoever he is, makes Jack happy. He's never going to look twice at one of us now."

"Oh well. There's plenty of good-looking guys here in the city," reasoned the first speaker. There was a pause. "Tell you what, though...kind of a waste. Jack is pretty damn fine."

"That blonde guy's not to be sneezed at either," replied another, the one who had seen Jack with Ennis. "Really manly and rugged. You wouldn't know he was gay if you looked at him."

"Unless he stuck his tongue down Jack's throat while you were watching," added another girl with a giggle. They laughed for a few moments, and Jack found it very amusing that they were speculating on his love life. At least they weren't saying that it was disgusting.

"But I have to say," said the first speaker again. "If this guy makes Jack happy, I say good for them. Everybody deserves to be happy, no matter who it's with. Maybe we should back off now; it's clear he's not interested and it probably makes him uncomfortable." Jack was surprised that they had picked up on this, but he was grateful that they were going to stop.

"Yeah. Let's just try to be his friends from now on. Should we tell him we know?"

"No, he might want to keep it low-key. If he says anything, then maybe we can tell him we've seen him and that guy. But for now...let's keep quiet about it." There was a murmur of assent within the group and they left, their voices drifting away. Jack poked his head around the corner and watched them re-enter the building. He smiled to himself; things were really coming together now. He couldn't wait to tell Ennis.

There were a lot of things he wanted to tell Ennis, but there was one in particular; that he loved him. Despite how confident he came across when it came to sex and even romance, he got tongue-tied when thinking of how to tell Ennis this one, very important thing. A part of him still felt that it might be too soon, given how short a time they'd been together, and he couldn't wait until they reached that point; it would encompass everything, and might even give their relationship a sense of permanence; that no matter what, it would remain strong.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_August 31st, 2009_

It was a rainy Monday afternoon, and Jack was waiting for Ennis at the coffeehouse, staring out the window and thinking ahead to the week before them. They were due to spend the night at his place tonight, and he was planning dinner in his head. There was a chicken recipe he wanted to try, and he thought that Ennis would like it. The weekend before, they'd planned to go down to Half Moon Bay, as they'd agreed, but the weather had been a wash-out so their plans were messed up. But they spent the time in other ways, mainly in bed together for most of the last two days. That had been fun.

His phone started ringing on the table, and he picked it up; it was his mother. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, Jack. How are you?"

"I'm good," he replied, running a finger along the rim of his cup. "Been busy with work."

"That's good. How are you for money? How's your health?" Jack felt a lump in his throat; she had always cared about him, even after his diagnosis.

"I'm fine. My doctor says I've got a high T-cell count and a low viral load; I'm pretty healthy, considering. And I'm fine for money; I took out some insurance to help."

"Good. So, um...what about other things? You met anybody yet?"

"I have," he replied, eyes lowered. The doorbell tinkled and Ennis stepped in, shaking the raindrops from his curls. Jack was momentarily struck dumb, and he didn't hear what his mother said next.

"Jack?" He jumped and waved Ennis over, smiling.

"Sorry about that," he answered. "What did you say?"

"Who have you met?" she repeated. "Is it a guy?"

"Yeah, it is," he replied as Ennis sat down, smiling. Jack took his hand and mouthed, "It's my mom." Ennis nodded. "His name's Ennis."

"Right...so does he come from over there?"

"Uh, yeah. His parents live in the Mill Valley, just on the other side of the bridge. Um...we've been together just under a month."

"Does he know? Are you two...serious?" she asked. He sighed.

"Yeah, he knows. And we're serious," he said, his eyes on Ennis. "Everything's fine."

"Is he good to you, Jack?"

"He is, mom. He's really good to me." He smiled at Ennis and squeezed his fingers.

"That's good. So do you think...you might bring him over here one day?" she asked hopefully. "I haven't seen you in such a long time..."

Jack bit his lip. "I don't know...what about dad?" he asked dubiously. "He ever gonna change how he feels about me?"

"Jack...he's your father. Regardless of everything, I think he still wants to see you."

"Last time I saw him, he told me that getting HIV was my punishment for being gay," Jack reminded her, looking ticked off. Ennis covered Jack's hand with his own, knowing that this couldn't be easy for his lover. "Am I supposed to just forget that?"

"No, but...maybe if you gave him a chance, and you explained things to him..." Jack screwed his eyes shut.

"It's not happening, mom. I'd be happy to come and see you sometime, maybe even bring Ennis with me, but I'm not going anywhere near him. I don't want anything to do with him."

His mother sighed. "Alright, sweetie. I won't force you. But I would like to see you, and meet Ennis. Maybe you could come here, but not to the house. Maybe we could meet for lunch or something."

"Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I...I'm gonna go." Jack was tiring of this by now, and all he wanted was to spend time with Ennis and not worry about other things right now.

"Okay. Bye, Jack."

"Bye." He hung up and put his phone back on the table, rubbing his eyes. "Jesus..."

"Are you okay?" Ennis asked softly, taking one of Jack's hands and rubbing his hand along his arm. Jack shrugged.

"I don't know. Talking about him just reminds me of what he said...that I deserved to get infected just for being gay. Never mind that I was attacked, which could have happened even if I was straight. Just wears me out..."

Ennis thought for a moment and then got up. He nudged at Jack to slide down the seat and sat down next to him, putting an arm around him. "C'mere, darlin'," he said to Jack.

"I'm alright," Jack tried to argue, but he was feeling a little vulnerable right now. He leaned into Ennis, sighing. Ennis stroked his dark, thick hair and kissed the side of his head. "Thanks, Ennis..."

"It's okay, Jack. I know it's not easy for you. You hear all the time about guys who are disowned by their dads just for being gay, but in your case...you've got it even worse. But I'll tell you something..."

"What?" Jack asked, looking up into his eyes. Ennis touched his cheek.

"Maybe your dad wishes he had a son who was straight, and who wasn't infected. But you know...there's so much good in you that he's missing. You're kind...and nice to everybody. You sure make me happy. You're a good person, Jack...and if he can't appreciate the son he has...that's his loss. I know he's your dad, but...I don't think you need someone like that in your life, bud. Not when he does this to you..."

"Ennis..." Jack said in wonder, eyes shining. "I don't know what to say." He felt as if he was falling more and more in love with Ennis every day, especially when he said things like this. A part of him felt a need to win his father's approval, but now it looked very unlikely. Ennis was right; was it really worth chasing after the approval of a man who hated who he was? It was only causing him pain.

"You don't have to say anything, darlin'," Ennis said to him, smiling. He leaned in to kiss Jack softly and stroked his cheek, feeling Jack smile against his lips. Ennis remained where he was sat as they drank their coffee and ate sandwiches, happy that he could put the smile back on Jack's face. He wanted to make Jack happy, whatever it took to do so. When Jack was smiling and happy, Ennis couldn't help but feel happy himself. His lover's smile shone directly into his heart and made him feel warm. As time went on, he knew that he would continue to feel this way, and he had Jack to thank for it.

* * *

That evening, Ennis and Jack were at Jack's apartment having dinner. Jack had been right; Ennis was enjoying his Chicken Risotto, and the wine was as delicious as ever. But it was probably the company that they were enjoying the most. They especially liked it when Jack would run his foot slowly up Ennis's leg, making him squirm.

As they were eating, Ennis looked up at Jack thoughtfully. "So...do you think you'll ever get back to New York, see your mom?"

Jack sighed. "I don't know, Ennis...I really don't. I'd love to see her again, but..."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Well...remember how I told you that when I left, I sort of travelled steadily west, until I eventually came here?" Ennis nodded. "Well, the last place I lived before coming out here was South Dakota. I, um...I went out with this guy, we went back to my place...I told him what I had and he freaked out." Jack chewed his chicken, thinking back. "I did a lot of thinking after that...decided what I wanted to do. So when I'd made up my mind to come here, I went back to New York to see my mom again. I told her I didn't know when I might see her again." He frowned. "It's only been a couple of months, but she said she hasn't seen me in a long time."

"Bet it feels like a long time to her," Ennis reasoned. "She is your mom, Jack...she obviously still cares about you. Look...if you don't wanna talk about all that...we don't have to. I know it probably wasn't an easy time for you..."

Jack shook his head. "It's okay. I wouldn't mind talking about it. Lureen's the only one who's heard it all, and...I'd like to talk to you about it. We're a couple, and couples should talk about stuff."

"Okay," Ennis replied, reaching for Jack's hand and lacing their fingers together. Jack cleared his throat.

"Well...my parents don't actually live in the city. They live out on Long Island. As I told you before, I was in the city for college. When I was diagnosed as positive, I went over there to tell them. Neither of them said anything at first, so then we had dinner. But afterwards...that's when my dad started in on me. Calling me names, saying that I deserved it for being gay. Thing is, I came out to them before that, and he never said anything then. It was only when I told them I was positive that he snapped." Jack shook his head. "I don't know. He told me to get out of the house and never come back. So I did. I went back over to the city and stayed in my dorm room that night. The next day, my mom came to see me. She'd packed up all the stuff I'd left in my room at the house, and she gave me some money to put away for when I'd graduated. She also gave me a little extra, in case I needed medication."

Ennis was nodding. "That was really good of her. Did your dad know?"

"I don't think so; he was probably at work when she came over. She told me that she still loved me no matter what, and that she wanted me to take care of myself. I told her I was thinking of leaving the city once I'd graduated, and she seemed to understand. When I did eventually leave, I know it hurt her to see me go, but...I needed to get out of there."

"What about when you went back, before coming here?"

"She was happy to see me, but I think she could tell I was restless. No real relationship, a series of jobs that I didn't like, no friends nearby. It was actually kind of because of her that I decided to come here. She asked me how Lureen was doing and I said I didn't know, so she suggested I go and see her. So I did, and...I never left. Settled down here and that's probably when you started noticing me."

The tale finished, Jack met Ennis's eyes. "It hasn't been easy, but...I got through it. And now...I'm really happy, Ennis. These past few weeks have been amazing. I've been having a really good time with you." He smiled. "Living with this thing...it's never easy, because it's always there. But...having you with me every day, making me happy...it makes it more bearable, you know? Like...I'm not so alone anymore."

Ennis smiled back at him, eyes warm with love. He so wanted to tell Jack those three little words that he deserved to hear, but his throat felt clogged up every time he tried. There was such depth to how he felt about Jack, and he was a little wary of it, having never had such strong feelings before. But he liked being there for his lover, making him feel better about everything.

"I like being there for you, Jack," he admitted, squeezing Jack's fingers. "You make me real happy, too." He looked around the table; they were done with the food. "Tell you what; you go and sit down, I'll clean up here."

Jack nodded. "Okay." He leaned across and planted his lips on Ennis's, kissing him softly a couple of times before moving away from the table and into the living room. Ennis watched him go, a smile on his face. He cleaned up and joined Jack in the living room, listening to the soft music and sharing a few kisses, hands caressing. Ennis was leaning against the arm of the sofa, Jack resting against him and looking up into his eyes, complete adoration in them.

"You alright, darlin'?" Ennis murmured, stroking his fingers through Jack's thick hair. Jack nodded.

"I'm just fine, baby. Can we go to bed?" he asked, eyes hopeful. Ennis smiled and took his hand, leading him up off the sofa and across the apartment, towards the bedroom.

* * *

_September 3rd, 2009_

Ennis and Jack were back in the coffee shop at lunchtime, having split a large tuna melt between them and were drinking coffee. They were talking over their day so far; Jack was always fascinated by tales from the vet's office, and Ennis was happy to have someone to tell them to. Their relationship was growing stronger all the time and they were becoming closer. They both especially liked it when they were lying in bed together, in each other's arms. That was the only real time when Jack would reveal his true vulnerability. He would admit to Ennis his deepest desires and fears, knowing that he could trust Ennis with them.

As they talked in these quiet moments, Ennis was aware that Jack had previously wanted things that were no longer possible. He'd once had thoughts of having children, even though he was gay, but he no longer could. If he and Ennis were ever to have biological children, Ennis would have to be the father.

But that was way into the future; their relationship was still so new and delicate, and Ennis was still getting used to being with a positive person. He knew he loved Jack, and he had a thought that Jack just might love him too. That was enough for now; Jack hadn't asked him to promise anything and he hadn't. It was too early for something like that.

As they ate and talked, their eyes met now and then. Jack knew that Ennis liked looking into his eyes; those baby blues of his had always attracted other peoples' attention. But in his opinion, Ennis's eyes were just as beautiful. When he was aroused, they were a dark chocolate colour, almost black. But when Ennis was smiling or being tender with him, they were honey-coloured, sparkling with happiness. And Jack could swear that there was a little green in them; he'd seen it when they were out in the sun together. He liked this little quirk, and wondered if anybody else had ever noticed it.

"So," Jack started to distract himself. "Since our planned weekend to Half Moon Bay was a wash-out, literally, I'm thinking we need a new plan. I reckon we should wait to go there until the weather's better."

"Alright," Ennis agreed. "We're always doing dinner and a movie, though...there must be something else we can do."

"Yeah. I mean, there's museums and things. That might be good. Maybe we could go fishing at the Wharf or something."

Jack smiled and nodded. "That sounds great. This weekend, then?"

"Yep. And, um...there was something I was thinking about..." Ennis grew nervous, hoping that Jack would want to do this.

"What is it?" Jack asked, looking into his eyes. Ennis pulled out a flyer he'd obtained and handed it over. Jack looked at it curiously.

"San Francisco Bay Cruises," he read with interest, opening it up. There was a picture of a beautiful boat out on the water, with a picture of what he knew used to be Alcatraz in the distance. "What is this?" he asked, looking up at Ennis.

Ennis was chewing his lip. "Well...it was just a thought. They set off from the Marina, and they go out on the water a ways overnight. You can fish off the boat during the day, and they have restaurants and things...and we could spend the night out on the water. Thought it might be...romantic," he finished, now seeming nervous. Jack's heart melted.

"Oh...Ennis, I...I don't know what to say. This looks great," he said softly, eyes shining.

"You wanna do it?" Ennis asked, looking hopeful. Jack nodded.

"Yeah, I do. So when can we go?"

"I was thinking we'd get on the boat tomorrow, after work, stay out there for the evening. We can spend Saturday all day and night out there, and come back on Sunday. How's that sound? I know it's short notice, but..."

Jack smiled. "It sounds wonderful, bud. I can't wait. I know I'd have to take two mornings' worth of meds with me, but I'd be okay." He looked down at the colour photographs of the sunsets. "It looks beautiful, Ennis. I'd love to go."

Ennis grinned back, a little shyly. "Great. So...I'll call them later and book a room."

"I can pay for half," Jack offered, and Ennis nodded, appreciating that Jack wasn't expecting him to pay for all of it. He saw the sparkle in Jack's eye and knew he'd done the right thing. Jack laid the flyer out on the table and started reading things aloud, chattering away at what the cruise had to offer. They agreed to give the fishing a try on Saturday and have a romantic dinner on Saturday evening, and then watch the sunset together from the deck on both nights of their stay.

"Like I said," Ennis started as they left the coffeehouse, ready to go back to work. "I know it's kind of soon and short notice, but...I saw the flyer, and..." He got tongue-tied trying to justify his hastiness.

Jack put a hand over his mouth and smiled. "Ennis, it's okay. It's spontaneous, and that's romantic. I like surprises like this, okay? It's a sweet gesture, and I'd love to spend a few nights away with you." He leaned in and kissed Ennis gently, hand on his face.

When they pulled apart, Jack was smiling softly. "Can't wait for our romantic weekend together," he murmured. Ennis smiled back and kissed him one last time before they went their separate ways. Both of them had a smile on their face as they went about the rest of their day, and by the time they met up at Ennis's place afterwards, they were ready to show each other how they felt, clothes being shed on the way to the bedroom, hearts and bodies melding together as one until they were spent. They lay there in each other's arms cooling off, enjoying the company and the promise of a special weekend together.

* * *

The next day, as planned, Ennis and Jack went up to the Wharf after work and got onto the boat for the next couple of nights. Despite Ennis's concerns that he'd just dropped this on Jack without talking about it properly beforehand, Jack couldn't be happier. He didn't normally like it when he wasn't in control of things in his life, but he just couldn't get mad at Ennis. All he was trying to do was to make Jack happy, and go for a little romance, and Jack appreciated the gesture.

Besides, as he stood on the deck on Friday evening, looking out across the water, he felt good. The air was clean and fresh out here, good for his lungs and body in general. Maybe Ennis had picked it for this reason, but he didn't care. He liked was Ennis was doing for him.

A pair of familiar arms wrapped themselves around him, squeezing a little. He smiled and covered them with his own. "Mmm..."

"You enjoying yourself?" Ennis murmured in his ear. Jack nodded.

"Sure am. Tell you what...this is amazing, Ennis. I can't believe we're out here. Ever since I moved here, I've wanted to get out on the water. But I never thought I would."

"Well, now you are," Ennis said softly, breathing into Jack's ear and rubbing his stomach. Right now, he didn't care who might be watching them. They weren't doing anything illegal and there were no children on board, so nobody had any ammunition against them showing affection for one another. If he wanted to hold his man out here while they watched the ocean, then he would damn well do so.

They watched the sun set, ate from the buffet and then went back to their room. It was a fair size, and they had a comfortable bed to lie down on. They made love slowly and surely and then drifted off in each other's arms, smiles on their faces.

Saturday was a lazy day. They had a lie in, had some breakfast and lounged around on the deck, enjoying the warm sun. Jack especially liked rubbing Ennis all over with suntan lotion, and when Ennis did the same to him. He'd brought a book with him and read for a while.

After lunch, they joined a few others and took part in the fishing that was going on. Neither of them caught anything, but it was fun. And Ennis loved seeing Jack smiling and happy.

_God knows he deserves it, _Ennis thought to himself as he watched Jack talking to some of the others, making jokes. Oddly enough, Jack talking and laughing with other guys didn't bother him. Whenever he'd seen Alma with another guy, even if he knew that the other guy was just a friend, he'd see red. But he felt more secure with Jack; he knew that Jack felt strongly about him, and that he wasn't the type to screw around even without a boyfriend. With what Jack had inside him and how it affected everything, Ennis knew that it just wasn't in his nature. Jack didn't seem the type to cheat anyway. He seemed perfectly happy with what they had, and that comforted Ennis.

Jack came back over to him and kissed him warmly, pushing any doubts that Ennis might have had out the window. He responded with a grin on his face, pulling Jack close. Anybody who was watching smiled at what they knew to be a display of a very deep and profound shared love between the two men.

They had dinner on Saturday night at the on-deck restaurant, a beautiful place clearly set out for fine dining. Luckily, it wasn't too expensive so they could afford something they liked.

The food was delicious and the atmosphere was wonderful, but they both found that the company was the highlight. They had candles on their table and the lights were a little dim, casting a romantic glow over them. Both sets of eyes looked warm and soft, and Ennis covered Jack's hand with his own, smiling.

"You really enjoy yourself out here, bud?" he asked, looking over Jack's beloved face. Jack nodded.

"I sure did. Thank you, Ennis...this was a great idea. And I'd love to do this again sometime." He smiled wider. "C'mere..."

He leaned over and Ennis met his willing lips. They kissed slowly and softly, smiling at each other between kisses.

When dinner was over, they went back out onto the deck and sat down on the same deck chair facing the horizon. Jack settled himself between Ennis's legs and was immediately wrapped up in those strong arms. He turned and looked down the deck, where he saw two guys doing the exact same thing as them. He smiled and turned back to face the horizon, where the sun was setting. "Mmm..."

"Like this, darlin'?" Ennis murmured in his ear. Jack nodded.

"Yeah. This has been a great weekend, Ennis. Really special." He turned his head to smile up at his lover, who kissed him once more before they turned to watch the sun set.

When darkness had fallen, they stood up and held hands, smiling. "Wanna go to bed?" Jack asked lightly, eyes sparkling. Ennis nodded.

"You bet, bud."

Back in their room, Jack thrust upwards into Ennis, who was riding him like a horse and groaning, fingers squeezing Jack's. One of Jack's hands was around Ennis's erection, stroking in time to his thrusts and driving Ennis crazy with lust.

"Come on, baby...come on..." Jack was whispering, thrusting harder. Ennis shook all over, let out a low groan and shot hard, right at the wall above Jack's head. Jack thrust a couple more times and was there himself, moaning.

They collapsed together, panting for breath. "Damn," Jack breathed. "Didn't know sex could be so good out on the water." He felt Ennis laughing against him and grinned. They eventually moved, Ennis cleaning the wall and Jack disposing of the condom in the trash. When they were done, they crawled into bed together, snuggling close and sharing a few kisses before dropping off, dreaming of each other.

* * *

_September 7th - 11th, 2009_

The next week passed at a fair pace. After their romantic weekend, Ennis and Jack were closer than ever. As he waited for Ennis to join him at the coffeehouse at lunchtime on Monday, Jack showed Lureen the pictures he'd taken.

"I'm telling you, Lu...it was beautiful. The water reflecting the sun...the fresh air...just perfect. And look at this sunset," he added, showing her a picture of the sun setting on the horizon.

Lureen smiled. "It looks incredible, Jack. And you say he just sprung this on you?"

"Yep. Out of the blue. I know I don't normally like it when people arrange things about my life without me knowing, but...I can't get mad at him. It was just too romantic to be mad." He grinned as he reached a particular picture. They'd asked another gay couple on the boat to take a picture of himself and Ennis, and had then returned the favour for them. He and Ennis had their arms around each other's shoulders, and were smiling at each other, love clearly blazing in their eyes. "Look at this..." Lureen grinned.

"You two sure make a good couple. Look real nice." Jack blushed.

"Well...I guess. Anyway..."

Ennis came in soon after, surprisingly followed by Alma. She wanted to hear about the trip, too. The girls spent their time talking at the counter while Ennis and Jack settled into their usual booth. Jack laced their fingers together on the table and grinned into Ennis's face.

"You know...as much as I enjoyed this weekend, we don't have to do that every weekend from now on. I'm happy with dinner and a movie most of the time."

Ennis nodded. "I know, but I wanted us to do something special. Wanted you to...get out of the city, into the fresh air. Hoping it did you some good, you know?" Jack's eyes felt a little warm.

"Baby...it did me the world of good. Felt so good out there. Thank you for caring," he added softly, squeezing Ennis's fingers. "Nobody ever...cared about my health as much as you do. Even my mom wouldn't have arranged everything we do around my health, making it a priority. She loves me, but...I think she'd just make plans and then hope I'd be okay to go through with them. But you...you make it your first thought when planning things. It means a lot to me, Ennis. I hope you know that."

Ennis smiled. "Good. I do care about you, Jack. That's why I plan stuff with you in mind. I...I want you safe, and healthy. Don't ever wanna put you at risk..." He kissed Jack's hand, eyes locked on the blue ones he loved so much.

Jack swallowed past a lump in his throat. "Ennis..." They didn't say much else for the rest of their break, but they did a lot of looking and thinking.

Their usual routine passed; waking up together in one of their apartments, breakfast, work, meeting for lunch, going back to an apartment for dinner, and then to bed. Jack had brief thoughts now and then of them moving in together, since they spent so much time together anyway, but he never said anything. Their relationship, while strong, was still so very new. He didn't want things to go too quickly, and for them to jump into anything they couldn't handle. That was no way to keep a relationship going.

Still, they were happy. Ennis's mother called once more on Wednesday, asking how they were and hinting at Ennis bringing Jack up for dinner one night. Ennis simply wasn't sure of how they would react to the news of Jack being positive; with them being his parents and him seeing Jack, he reasoned that they had a right to know exactly the kind of person he was seeing. Since there was always the chance of the virus being passed on, they might find out one day anyway.

As they lay in bed together one morning, Jack watched as their fingers played together in mid-air, elbows resting on the bed. He was warm and comfortable next to Ennis, like he was meant to be right here. He was thinking of Ennis's birthday. It would be on the 26th, and he was wondering what to buy him. He knew that Ennis liked Western things, like cowboy and horse stuff, so that was a possibility. Maybe he would talk to Alma about what else Ennis liked; get a feel for what might make a good present. He was very grateful that Alma didn't seem to have a grudge against him for making Ennis happy where she couldn't.

But aside from a present, he wanted to make Ennis's birthday special. Maybe they could go for dinner in town or something. It was too soon to go on another boat trip, but they could do something else.

"Ennis?" he finally asked, turning his face and nuzzling at Ennis's chest hair. It tickled his nose and he grinned.

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking...do you wanna do something for your birthday? It's only in a couple weeks..."

Ennis shrugged, continuing to play with Jack's fingers. "I dunno. Dinner would be alright, you know."

"You sure? We can do something else...we're always having a sit-down dinner. I don't mind if you want something more."

Ennis shook his head. "Never was one for making a fuss of birthdays, Jack. I really don't want too much." Jack sighed inwardly and nodded, ideas forming in his head.

"Alright. But I'll make it special. Pay you back for last weekend." He rose up and crawled on top of Ennis. "And you can have a good present, too...me, all ready for unwrapping."

Ennis grinned. "I could live with that," he replied, eyes glittering. Jack swooped in to kiss him, tongue seeking entrance in his willing mouth and hands wandering for the first time that morning. They had a little time before they had to get up for work; plenty of time to get up to something.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_September 15th, 2009_

Jack was out shopping, trying to find a birthday present for Ennis. It was the perfect day; he had his long lunch break and he knew that Ennis was busy at the vet's. They would meet up later if Ennis got away in time, but Jack knew by now that it was okay if they didn't; they would be spending the evening and night together anyway.

He strolled along the streets, keeping an eye out for anything that Ennis might like. He'd spoken to Alma about what to buy, and she'd confirmed that Ennis did like cowboy stuff. An uncle of his had a ranch in Wyoming, and Ennis used to spend summers there as a teenager. Picturing Ennis on a horse did something funny to Jack's insides. He would blush and remember Ennis riding him on a bed, and would have to cover his crotch.

Still, he liked thinking about Ennis as he went about his day. His workmates hadn't said anything to him, but he knew that they'd noticed how happy he looked. And he was happy; Ennis was a wonderful man. He was always putting Jack's health and happiness first whenever plans were made, every morning he would make sure that Jack took his meds (not that Jack would ever forget, but he appreciated it nonetheless), and Jack had caught Ennis glancing at him every so often, as if making sure he was alright. Jack thought it was very sweet how Ennis was so concerned about him.

He found what he was looking for soon enough; a Western-style store. It was full of exactly the kinds of things that Ennis would like, so Jack put his sandwich in his pocket and stepped inside.

The smell that greeted him was mainly of leather, but he wasn't put off. It was a little dark inside but he started walking around, unsure of where to start. A young woman with blonde hair and a nametag that read _Cassie _came over to him.

"Hi," she said pleasantly. "Can I help you with anything?" Jack grinned in relief.

"Thanks. I, um...I'm looking for a birthday present...for my boyfriend."

Cassie nodded. She hadn't met a gay man before, at least one who announced it like that, but it didn't really bother her too much. "Alright. So...he likes things like this, then? Western stuff?"

"Yeah. I'm not too sure what to get, though."

"Well...come on over here, I think I might be able to help." She led him over to where there was a selection of Western wear, and his eyes fell on the boots. There were some brown leather ones, and Jack started thinking of the months ahead when the weather would get colder. If it snowed, Ennis would be just fine in these. He didn't know if Ennis already had a pair, but at least these were brand new. He smiled and moved closer.

"These look real nice," he said, half to himself. Cassie nodded.

"Our most popular items. Made with real leather. Do you know what size he wears?"

Jack nodded. When Ennis had been in the shower that morning, Jack had sneaked a peek at his sneakers, checking the size just in case he ended up buying Ennis footwear.

"Yeah, he's a six," Jack answered, trying not to think on what they said about men with big feet. _Even if it is true, _he thought to himself with a wicked grin. He and Ennis had had too much to drink at the weekend, and had ended up messing around and giggling like school kids. Jack had produced a measuring tape and, full of laughter, they had measured themselves and compared. Ennis was bigger than him, but only by just over an inch or so. Jack's length was nothing to sneeze at, but Ennis...he was something else, Jack had found.

Not that he knew what it felt like, though. Ennis was still holding back when it came to switching roles, and still hadn't been on top, not properly. Jack didn't mind too much; he figured that Ennis was still a little nervous of the prospect, especially with his HIV status.

He pushed it to the back of his mind and picked up a pair of size sixes, examining them. They were very well made, and he knew that Ennis would like them.

After buying the boots and leaving the shop, Jack heard his cell ringing in his pocket and brought it out. Ennis was calling. "Hey, bud."

"Hi, Jack. Just got out of work, you wanna meet up?"

"Sure. I'm in town, so it'll take me a little longer to get there, but I'm on my way."

"Okay. See you soon."

"Yep, bye." He hung up and started making his way to the coffeehouse, eager to see Ennis again. He whistled as he walked, every step he made bringing him closer to the man he loved.

When he walked in, he spied Ennis in their usual booth, drinking coffee and looking at his phone. He stopped by the table. "Hey, bud."

"Hey, darlin'," Ennis replied, leaning up to kiss him. They pulled apart and Jack sat down opposite him. "What's in the bag?" he asked, looking at it curiously. Jack smiled serenely.

"It's for me to know and for you to find out," he replied. "It's your birthday present." The bag was plain white with no logo, so Ennis had no way of guessing what it might be.

"Oh...okay. You want a coffee?" Jack nodded and Ennis attracted Lureen's attention. She poured Jack his coffee and talked with them for a moment before attending to another customer.

Ennis and Jack spent the rest of their lunch break talking about what they would have for dinner later that evening, and what they might do at the weekend. It didn't escape Jack's notice that they were already practically living together, except for them each having a place of their own. He wanted to talk to Ennis about making it official, but knew it was too soon. Things were good right now, and he didn't want to jeopardise it in any way.

* * *

That night, they were at Jack's place. They had finished dinner and were now lying on Jack's bed, slowly kissing. As much as they both liked it when they were in the middle of having sex, they both liked this part; kissing and caressing each other, trying to convey without words that they loved each other.

Jack rolled Ennis onto his back and straddled him, smiling. Ennis looked up into the brilliant blue eyes; his heart full of happiness. "Darlin'..."

His lover leaned down and nuzzled their noses together. "Mmm...this sure is nice," Jack murmured, kissing Ennis softly. "One of my favourite times of day."

"Yeah..." They kissed again and Jack reared up onto his knees, hands roaming over the smooth chest beneath him. He could feel Ennis's muscles, and remembered that Ennis had worked on his uncle's ranch as a teenager. Clearly, the work had made his body like this; strong and firm. Jack smiled to himself.

"You feel so good...guess all that work on your uncle's ranch did you some wonders, huh?"

Ennis shrugged, blushing a little. "Don't know about that." Jack grinned.

"It's true. You've got a great body, Ennis...I know I love it." Ennis felt the happiness in his heart spread throughout his body, warming him all over. Jack lowered his eyes to Ennis's erection and stroked it lightly, eyes full of mischief.

"Jack..." Ennis breathed, arousal flooding to where Jack was stroking him. His eyes fell shut as Jack's hand worked in a steady rhythm, driving him crazy. He let Jack take over, losing himself in the deft touch.

Jack watched him, seeing his lover's face react to the touch and knowing what it did to him. He loved it when Ennis just let go like this, and it thrilled him to know that Ennis let him see this vulnerable side. They could be intimate and completely open.

He continued to stroke until Ennis stopped him, a hand on his arm. "Wait..." Jack stopped.

"What is it, baby? Tell me what you want."

"I...I want you inside me...when I come..." Ennis choked out, eyes half-open. Jack nodded, pleased that Ennis was getting better at verbalising what he wanted.

"You got it, bud." He leaned over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom, putting it on and coating himself with lube. He shifted so that he was in between Ennis's legs, widening them. He smeared the lube on a couple of fingers and manoeuvred them underneath, pushing one in and hearing a sharp intake of breath.

"Jesus, Jack..."

"Relax, baby," Jack instructed softly. "S'alright..." He pushed in another finger and scissored the two, watching his lover's face. Ennis's mouth was open and his eyes closed, looking like he was in another world completely. He breathed out slowly.

"Jack...ready..." he managed. Jack removed his fingers and lifted Ennis's legs, pulling them up over his shoulders. He moved closer and started to push in, taking it slowly. "Oh..."

"Shh..." Jack whispered, one hand on Ennis's face, eyes full of love. He pushed further in and was soon fully inside Ennis, settling in place. "Open your eyes, bud."

Ennis did so and was met with Jack's loving gaze. His heart leapt into his throat and he pulled Jack's face down for a deep, searing kiss, tongues curling around each other. Both of them checked their mouths regularly for cuts or sores, and for the moment both of them were fine. Knowing this, Ennis felt safe to run his tongue around Jack's mouth, and to allow Jack to do the same to him. Jack started moving inside him as they kissed, hands braced on the bed on either side of Ennis's head, fingers occasionally touching his curls and gently gripping them as they moved.

Jack kept his hips moving, pushing forwards and going deeper with every thrust. He broke his lips away from Ennis's and moved them down to his neck, sucking hard. He was at least mindful to do it on the collarbone, where any hickeys would be hidden by a shirt. Nearing the edge, Jack pulled his lips away in a gasp. "Oh God...Ennis..."

He looked down into Ennis's eyes; they were dark with lust and arousal. Jack could see that he too was getting closer, and he started nipping at whatever skin he could reach, kissing Ennis's neck and chest.

A few more thrusts and he felt Ennis tightening around him, shuddering. Ennis let out a low groan and shot in between them, head falling back to stare at the ceiling as he came. Jack thrust a few more times and was there too, face buried in Ennis's neck as he gave a yell. He collapsed onto Ennis's chest and sighed. Ennis let his legs drop and weaved his arms around Jack. "Mmm...darlin'..."

"You alright?" Jack asked tiredly, mustering enough strength to pull out before collapsing again.

"Sure am," Ennis replied, smiling and threading his hands through Jack's damp hair. "Don't fall asleep, you've gotta take that thing off."

"Uh huh..." Jack rolled onto his back and pulled off the rubber, getting up and heading for the bathroom.

When he came back, Ennis was under the sheets and smiling at him. "Come on, bud. Get under here." Jack grinned and crawled in eagerly, the warm sheets falling over him. He moved into Ennis's strong arms, head resting on his chest. Ennis rubbed his back and closed his eyes, still smiling.

Jack remained awake for a little longer, thinking. In just five days, it would be the fifth anniversary of the attack. He'd told Ennis about it, but hadn't wanted to discuss it further. It seemed that Ennis had picked up on his reluctance to mention it, and had followed suit, veering their conversations away from it. But in a few days, Jack knew that he would be unable to think about anything else. Luckily, it was a Sunday so they didn't have to go to work. Jack felt like staying in bed all day, and he hoped that Ennis would stay with him; to hold him if nothing else. He was grateful to have someone this year; someone to chase the nightmares away.

* * *

_September 20th, 2009_

Jack rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. It had been five years to the day since the attack, and he looked at the clock; it had been around this time that he'd been walking through the park. He could remember everything as if it were yesterday.

_He hurried through the park, checking his watch. He just couldn't believe that he'd overslept, but he tried not to worry too much. His attendance record was pretty much stellar, so it wasn't as if one late morning was going to get him kicked out. But he still didn't like being late._

Shaking his head of the memory, Jack looked over to where Ennis was still sleeping, on his side facing him. Jack smiled a little and gently stroked the curls, trying not to wake him.

_He was walking through a dense area of trees, about halfway through the park. He could make good time if he kept at this pace._

Jack drew back his hand and wiped it across his forehead, trying to push the memory aside, but it was as a film was playing before his eyes. He got up and left the room, heading for the bathroom.

_As he passed a thick cluster of trees, he was suddenly hit. He felt a blinding pain in his head and sank to the ground, clutching it. He thought he was going to be sick. But he then felt a pair of hands on him and was unable to defend himself._

He reached the bathroom and bent over the sink, the familiar feeling of nausea overtaking him. He took deep breaths and tried to remain calm.

_His pants were undone and shoved down as he spat dirt out of his mouth. "Let me go!" he protested weakly, head spinning. The man, whoever he was, straddled his back and ignored him. Jack felt pain as he never had before as his attacker shoved into him, much too quickly than was safe. He cried out and desperately tried to free himself, to no avail._

Jack gasped and leaned low over the sink, struggling for breath. This kind of thing had happened to him on every anniversary of the attack, and there was nothing he could do about it.

_He bit his lip to stop himself from screaming; he didn't know what would happen to him if he attracted attention. He let it happen, unable to fight back, until it was finally over. His insides were burning with pain and he knew he was bleeding. His attacker pulled out roughly and he heard the sound of a belt buckle being done back up, and then he heard hurried footsteps as the man ran off through the trees. He lay there for what felt like an eternity until he could move again._

Jack was now leaning over the toilet, retching and vomiting. He was shaking and could feel stinging tears in his eyes, praying that Ennis was awake. He heard footsteps, a small gasp, and then warm, comforting hands were on his back and shoulder, rubbing and soothing.

"Darlin'...it's alright, I'm here," Ennis murmured, trying not to panic. He knew that Jack struggled to deal with the memory on this day, for Jack had told him so, but he didn't know it was this bad. "Shh...it's alright..."

He rubbed Jack's back as he emptied his guts of the food they'd had the night before, until there was nothing left. Jack slumped against the toilet, sweating and shaking. Ennis sat down behind him and pulled Jack into his arms, knowing how terrified Jack must be feeling. He somehow knew what must have happened to cause this; Jack was having flashbacks of the attack. He'd told him that this happened on the anniversary, but Ennis couldn't quite believe the effect it had on him. Jack clung to him for dear life and stayed there until he started to calm down, Ennis's soothing voice flowing into his ear.

At last, he pulled back enough to look up into Ennis's eyes; he knew his own were bloodshot. "Ennis..." He was grateful that Ennis was here, but could barely speak.

"It's alright," Ennis whispered, cupping his cheeks. "You don't have to explain. I'm right here." Jack nodded and started taking deep breaths. Ennis pulled him to his feet and got him a glass of water.

"You should take your meds," he reminded Jack, gesturing to the medicine cabinet. Jack nodded, but looked a little shaken up still. Ennis thought for a moment, and then looked at the list, taped to the front of the cabinet. He peered at it and then started taking out the appropriate pills that Jack was supposed to take, mindful to get the dosage right. He then sat Jack down on the toilet lid and helped him to take them. When they were done and had both used the toilet, Jack brushed his teeth and Ennis took him back into the bedroom. They crawled under the sheets and Ennis spooned up behind Jack, one arm resting on his stomach and rubbing gently; he sensed that it would calm Jack. He'd stopped shaking by now but Ennis could tell he was still shaken up. It was all he could do to try and keep Jack calm, and to make sure he was alright.

"Get some more sleep, Jack," he said softly. "You'll feel better later, then we can get something to eat, alright?"

"You'll stay with me?" Jack asked in a small voice, terrified of being left alone. Ennis kissed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I will. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe now...nobody's gonna hurt you so long as I'm here, you hear me? It's alright." Jack closed his eyes and burrowed backwards into Ennis, finally calming down. Ennis continued to murmur in his ear that it was alright, and that he was here. As he drifted off to the sound of Ennis's deep, caressing tones, Jack believed him. He was perfectly safe as long as Ennis was here with him.

* * *

They slept for a few more hours, until Jack's rumbling stomach woke them both up. While he took a shower and tried to feel human again, Ennis started making breakfast for them both, thinking about earlier that morning and how he felt about it.

Seeing Jack on the bathroom floor like that had been quite a shock to him. Jack hadn't told him about having flashbacks on this day, but it made some kind of sense to Ennis. It had, after all, been a traumatic event, and it was no wonder that it was still affecting Jack. He figured that what he'd done for Jack afterwards was all he could do; just look after him and calm him down. He also realised that sleep was good for Jack in these moments. He'd slept peacefully in Ennis's arms for the last few hours, not stirring once. And Jack had seemed a lot more like his usual self when they got up.

Ennis put their breakfast on the table and heard the sounds of Jack moving around across the apartment. He smiled at Jack when he appeared, wearing jeans and a loose shirt. His hair was damp and when they embraced, Ennis couldn't help but take a sniff. Jack smelt fresh and new, and Ennis thought that Jack had cleansed himself of more than just sweat; maybe even of the dark shadow of earlier that morning.

"Feel better, darlin'?" he murmured, rubbing Jack's back. Jack nodded, a peaceful smile on his face as he was held.

"Sure do." He pulled away. "Ennis, I...thank you for this morning. I'm very grateful for what you did." Ennis smiled and kissed him softly.

"It's okay; I'm just glad you're alright. Come on and eat something. I reckon you need it, since you brought up last night's dinner."

"Yeah." They sat down and Ennis watched as Jack ate ravenously. He'd put a little more food onto Jack's plate than usual, wanting him to keep his strength up. Jack's health was even more of a priority to him than ever now, because of what he'd witnessed.

As they ate, Jack noticed Ennis glancing at him now and then, and chewed thoughtfully. "Ennis...if you wanna ask me anything, it's okay. I know you're wondering about this morning..."

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, I am. I know you said that things get bad on this day, but...you never mentioned flashbacks. I kind of guessed that was it..."

"Yeah, it was. Only happens at that time on this day, because that's when it happened. I get flashbacks, nausea...I'm just a complete mess and good for nothing for about an hour, or unless I fall asleep right after." He smiled. "I'm awful glad that you were there, though. You really took care of me." Jack slid his hand across the table to cover Ennis's. "Thank you." Ennis smiled back at him.

"No problem, Jack, as long as you're alright." His brow furrowed. "You...you are alright, aren't you?"

Jack nodded. "I'm just fine now. You did exactly what I needed." He withdrew his hand and they continued to eat.

"So what do you wanna do today?" Ennis asked as they put the dishes away.

"If it's okay with you...I'd like to just hang around here today. I don't need to go out for anything, so..." He shrugged. "Can we just stay here?" Ennis nodded and put an arm around him.

"Sure thing, bud. You wanna stay here, we can. Let's see if there's anything on TV." Jack nodded and they headed for the sofa, sitting close together. There was a morning chat show on and very little else, so they left it there and chose to make out instead.

Ennis looked down at Jack and smiled, nuzzling his neck. "So glad you're feeling better, darlin'. That whole thing this morning...it really shook me up to see you like that. I was...scared. For you. Didn't really know what to do. Thought I might have to take you to the hospital or something." Jack shook his head.

"I'm fine. Even my doctor said the same back in New York; that I might get flashbacks, and that it might make me sick, but it's not serious. And my doctor here confirmed that it was nothing to worry about." He kissed the tip of Ennis's nose. "Just glad you were here."

Ennis sank down onto him, breathing in his scent. "I am too. It's a good thing I was here...helps me get used to all of this. Looking after you, making sure you're okay..."

"You shouldn't have to get used to it," Jack sighed, running his hands along Ennis's back. Ennis rose up and looked down into his eyes.

"And you shouldn't have to deal with being positive. Nobody should. But this is how it is, Jack. You're dealing with this, and we're together, so...I have to deal with it, too. I...I care about you an awful lot, Jack. I want to be here for you, whenever you need me."

Jack felt the lump in his throat and pulled Ennis down for a kiss, one full of longing. He then wrapped his arms around Ennis fully and they lay there for a while.

They spent the day reading and watching TV, eating when hunger struck them. Jack ordered in a pizza for the evening and they sat with the box on Ennis's lap and Jack resting against him. Jack was his usual self again and much calmer and happier.

By the time they went to bed, Jack was eager to make love with Ennis, and showed it as they kissed and rubbed against each other to orgasm. They held each other close and Ennis continued to whisper to Jack that he was here for him and always would be. Jack murmured his thanks and they dropped off once more, the bad morning they'd had now a distant memory. If there was one good thing that had come of it, it was that they were closer than ever now, and their bond was strengthened.

* * *

The day after, Jack went into the coffeehouse during his lunch break, looking for Lureen. He knew that Ennis tended to run a little late, as there were often emergencies at the vet's, but he could pass the time well enough. And it wasn't as if he didn't see Ennis after work; they were spending every evening, night and morning together.

He found her behind the counter, wiping the cappuccino machine. "Hey, Lu." She turned around and smiled.

"Jack, hey. Good to see you." She lowered her voice. "How are you feeling? I know yesterday was..." Jack nodded.

"I'm just fine. I got sick in the morning, like I always do, but Ennis was there. He found me throwing up in the bathroom, and he stayed by me, rubbing my back and stuff." He grinned a little. "Then he got me to take my meds and made me drink some water, and took me back to bed for some more sleep. We woke up later and he made me breakfast, we talked about what had happened. I thanked him for looking after me and he said it was okay, because he cares about me."

Lureen was smiling too. "He's a good man, Jack. I was talking to Alma about it...you two really seem to care about each other a lot."

Jack looked thoughtful. "How does Alma feel about it all? She's always been really nice to me, but..."

"She's fine, she really is. I think that she knows she was never going to make Ennis happy, with him being gay. And she knows that it's not something wrong with her. She really is happy for you guys, just like I am." Lureen hesitated. "Jack...can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Well...have you and Ennis...talked about your feelings much?"

"Yeah, now and then. We know that we care about each other, and we're really close. Why?"

"Have you said the L word yet?" she asked, tilting her head. Jack lowered his eyes.

"No, not yet. Every time I try, I get tongue-tied. Can't do it."

"So you do, then?" she asked, placing her hand over his, looking sympathetic.

"Yeah, I..." He looked up at her. "I love him, Lureen. I'm in love with him..." She smiled.

"So what's scaring you? Why can't you say it to him? He's not exactly going to hit the roof..."

"I know, but...what if he doesn't feel the same?" Jack asked her, eyes sorrowful. "I just...I love him so much, and he does so much for me. I've never really done much for him, when you compare..."

"Oh, Jack..." she sighed, shaking her head. "I bet you've made him very happy. He's done all those things for you because he thought you needed it, like yesterday. So you've never had to do those things for him, but so what? You'd do them if you had to, right?"

Jack nodded. "Of course I would."

"That's it, then. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to be doing things for them all the time. It can just be about making them happy, and doing things when they need you to. It's just different because you're positive, and you need him to help you sometimes."

"Doesn't sound very fair," Jack lamented, eyes lowering again. Lureen lifted his chin.

"Look at me, Jack. Both Alma and I agree that neither of us has ever seen you two as happy as you are now. I bet it makes Ennis happy that he can do something for you, anything to make your lot easier. None of this is really fair...but it's how it is. Ennis cares about you, Jack...and I know that it's very likely he loves you too. I've seen the way he looks at you...a lot of people go through life never receiving that kind of look from someone."

Jack looked at her and nodded. "I know you're right, Lu...but...I spent five years trying to find someone who would love me, regardless of what I have, and nobody ever did because any potential relationships I might have had never got beyond the first date. So...I'm just scared that even though I do love Ennis...he might not feel the same. I know he probably does, but..."

"It's hard to let go of that fear," she said, nodding. "I understand, Jack. You're used to not trusting people with your feelings, or your heart. So when somebody comes along, like Ennis, and starts making you happy, you're hesitant to completely let your feelings out. But you know what? I reckon that as time passes, and you guys grow closer...it'll come. You'll be ready to tell him, and he'll say it back. I'm sure of it."

Jack smiled a little and she let go of him, gesturing to the cappuccino machine. "Now then...you want one?" He nodded and was left to his thoughts. When Ennis came in and they sat in their booth together, Jack tried to see the look in Ennis's eyes that Lureen had told him about. Ennis did seem to look at him in a certain way, especially when they were laughing. It was tender, and his deep brown eyes seemed to sparkle at Jack. It was as though merely looking at Jack put that look in Ennis's eyes, like it was especially reserved for him. Jack didn't really know what to make of this, but he thought that maybe Lureen was right; maybe Ennis did feel the same about him. He'd said that he cared about Jack, and felt strongly about him.

So as they talked and ate their lunch, Jack tried to hold the belief that the day would soon come when he was able to tell Ennis exactly how he felt, and that Ennis would respond in kind. Jack was sure that Ennis was the one; the person who could make him truly happy for a long time, and if he knew for sure that Ennis loved him, it would allow him to drop his defences and completely open himself up, no holding back. He could trust Ennis to stand by him no matter what, and those three little words would seal everything, allowing Jack to look to the future and for the first time, not be scared of what might happen. He would know that he wouldn't have to face it alone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_September 26th, 2009_

It was Ennis's birthday, and he and Jack were having lunch in a small café downtown. Jack had woken him up that morning with kisses down his chest before taking him in his mouth, pleasing Ennis to a waking state. Ennis particularly liked waking up this way. Jack had then dragged him into the shower and washed his back, and they had stood in there for a while before getting out. He'd then made them both breakfast before going for a morning walk in the park.

So now here they were; having a small yet somewhat romantic meal together. Jack was eating a chicken salad, Ennis was eating a small seafood platter, and they were drinking juice. The café was quiet and comfortable, and they were both enjoying themselves.

As they ate, Jack's leg had wound itself around Ennis's, planted there firmly, and Jack kept looking into his eyes and smiling. They still hadn't yet said that they loved each other, but Jack had a feeling it would be any day now that he would have the courage to say it. The way he felt when he was with Ennis...it was incredible. Everything felt right, as it should be.

Jack glanced up to see a small smear of tartar sauce at the edge of Ennis's mouth, unnoticed. He contemplated telling Ennis so that he could wipe it off, but then thought of a more fun solution. "Bud, you..." Ennis looked up. "Hold still."

He leaned over and licked the sauce off, making sure Ennis's face was clean again. Ennis went a few shades of pink and a grin appeared on his lips. "Jack..."

"You had some tartar sauce there," Jack replied, matter-of-factly, smirking.

"And you couldn't just tell me," Ennis said, the grin forming properly. Jack shrugged.

"Figured it'd be more fun this way." Ennis shook his head and returned to his food, butterflies in his stomach. Jack being sweet and fun with him did funny things to his insides.

They finished their food and their plates were cleared away. Jack then smiled and brought up the bag containing Ennis's new boots. He'd wanted to give them to Ennis while they were out. He opened up the bag and took out the large box, hands shaking a little.

"Well, here you go. Hope you like it." Ennis laid the box on the table and lifted the lid, a small gasp escaping his lips when he saw what was inside.

"Jack..." he breathed, completely dumbstruck. The pair of leather boots inside were beautiful, intricately made. He'd wanted a new pair for when the weather turned cold, especially if it snowed. And here they were; a gift from Jack. He looked up, eyes shining. "Bud, I...I don't know what to say..."

Jack shook his head. "You don't have to say anything. I found this Western store in the city; figured you'd like them since you did ranch stuff on your uncle's place. I asked Alma, too...she says you like this stuff..."

Ennis nodded. "I do...thank you, Jack." He leaned over, eyes shining a little, and Jack met his kiss eagerly, cupping his cheek and sliding his hand down to the back of Ennis's neck, touching the curls gently.

When they broke apart, Ennis was a little more in control of his emotions. "Can we get out of here? Get some fresh air?"

"Sure." Jack waved for the bill and paid it before leaving, hand clasping Ennis's. The box was back in the bag and in Ennis's other hand, its owner still a little choked up at the gift. Jack's birthday was just over two weeks away, and Ennis knew he wanted to get him something special.

They chose to walk back to the park and sit by the lake for a while. Having had a large lunch together, Ennis requested that they stay at his place tonight and get take-out for dinner. Jack agreed, and so they settled themselves on a bench. Jack rested his head on Ennis's shoulder and Ennis put an arm around him, kissing the top of his head. It was a beautiful Saturday, and all was right with the world.

Jack looked down to where Ennis's hand rested on his knee, and took it in his own hands. He started to play with Ennis's fingers, running his own along the callouses on his lover's hand, taking in every part of it. He loved it when Ennis would hold him in his arms; those strong, hardworking hands. Ennis had recently told him more about working on his uncle's ranch. He'd been there again only the previous June, before they'd met. He went there every summer for about a month, taking the time off work to do so. He did everything; working with horses, milking cows, branding, calving, fixing fences...Jack was impressed.

"Ennis?" he asked softly, looking up at him. Ennis turned to face him.

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"I was thinking...you planning on going to your uncle's ranch next summer?"

"I reckon so. I usually do, to help him out. Why?"

"Well...if you do...would it be alright if I came along? I've never been on a ranch, and I'd love to see how a real one works..."

Ennis smiled. "Sounds like a plan, Jack." He decided not to point out that Jack was basically confirming that they would still be together next summer. This was no guarantee, but Jack was talking as though it was. Ennis hoped that they would be together next year, and the year after that for many.

He leaned down to kiss Jack softly, stroking his cheek. Jack felt warm and familiar, and Ennis enjoyed the scent of him, making him think of all the precious, intimate moments they'd spent together.

When they were ready to move, they stopped by Jack's apartment so he could get a fresh change of clothes and his meds for tomorrow morning. Ennis had taken it upon himself to make sure that Jack took them every morning like he was supposed to, and Jack liked how much Ennis cared. It made him feel loved, like he was special to Ennis, and he knew in his heart that he felt the same.

* * *

Ennis was waiting outside the bedroom door, shaking his head. Jack had instructed him to wait out here while he prepared the room for them, and Ennis couldn't help but wonder what he might be planning. He'd learned that when it came to romance, Jack liked to go all out. Ennis had to admit that he liked this side of Jack, and he felt comfortable about letting him take over.

Just as he was wondering what the hell was taking so long, he heard Jack's voice. "Come on in, Ennis," he called. Ennis shivered at the seductive tone and turned the door handle, wondering what he might find within.

He stopped in his tracks, taking in the sight before him. Jack had arranged numerous candles around the room; on the chest of drawers, the nightstand, and even the windowsill. He recognised the scent; sandalwood. It filled his nostrils and evoked erotic thoughts as he looked at Jack. His lover was lying on the bed, shirt off but jeans still on. His legs were spread wide and his deep blue eyes were filled with a come-hither look.

"You just gonna stand there, or you gonna come in?" Jack asked softly, and Ennis gulped before shutting the door, taken aback by the sheer beauty of what was lying on his bed. He moved forward, undoing his shirt while Jack watched him silently. When he undid his jeans and pushed them down, he could see Jack's arousal in his own jeans grow even more.

Ennis crawled onto the bed and moved up to Jack, a rapturous expression on his face. "Jack..." he breathed, taking in the sight of Jack's smooth skin and his deep eyes. Jack shuffled down so that he was lying underneath Ennis, reaching for Ennis's hands.

"Ready to unwrap your second present?" he whispered, guiding Ennis's hands to his belt buckle. Ennis leaned in and buried his face in Jack's neck as he undid the metal, eagerly pushing Jack's jeans down until they could be kicked off. Jack was hoping that Ennis just might be ready to fuck him, but something was telling him that this wasn't the case just yet.

Still, he enjoyed the feeling of Ennis's lips on his skin as he travelled down, and anticipated where Ennis's mouth might end up. He lifted his arms until he could grab hold of the headboard, eyes falling shut when Ennis reached his stomach. The strong, calloused hands were roaming everywhere; over his chest, around his back, squeezing his ass...Jack was in heaven. He sighed contentedly and felt as Ennis moved even lower, nuzzling his nose in the dark hair between his legs. Jack tried not to let out the whimper in his throat as he felt Ennis brushing against his erection, but it wasn't easy when it felt so good.

At last, Ennis reached his target and licked up one side, drawing a low moan out of Jack and smiling to himself. "Oh baby..." Jack groaned. Ennis looked up at him. "You know...it's your birthday," he panted. "Shouldn't you be...on the receiving end...?"

Ennis rubbed Jack's lower stomach with one hand. "Darlin'...you're not the only one getting something out of this," he murmured. "You're giving me a present, too." Jack didn't respond, but just let his head fall back to the pillow and sighed.

Seeing this as a sign to continue, Ennis wrapped his mouth fully around Jack, sucking hard and making Jack buck. He steadied Jack's hip with his hand and went to work, doing all of those things that drove Jack crazy. One of his hands made its way around Jack's waist and he pushed a finger in, searching. Jack moaned loudly and his knuckles were white as they gripped the headboard. "Oh God..."

Ennis carried on, loving how Jack felt in his mouth and how it made them both feel. He moved his finger inside Jack and sucked him in even strokes, knowing that he himself would come without any touch. He was already leaking onto the bed between his legs, and was rock hard.

A few more strokes, and he felt that Jack was close. "Stop," Jack gasped out, knowing what would happen if Ennis swallowed. He took his mouth and finger away from Jack, reaching up for the condom that Jack had ready and was passing to him. He rolled it onto Jack and was about to finish him off with his hand, when Jack said, "It's flavoured, you can put your mouth there..."

Marvelling at Jack's foresight, Ennis put his mouth back, tasting an intoxicating cherry flavour that made him even harder. He sucked a few more times and felt Jack coming, protected by the rubber between them. Ennis finished himself off with a couple of strokes and came with a groan, head between Jack's legs and shuddering all over.

They both collapsed, panting heavily. Ennis could still taste the cherry from the condom, and had to admit that he liked the notion very much. Since Jack was still out of it, he removed the rubber himself and went to carefully dispose of it in the bathroom. When he came back, Jack was looking at him with a dozy grin on his face. "Hey, baby," he greeted Ennis, clearly still drunk on love.

Ennis smirked at the sight and got back onto the bed, kissing Jack firmly and deeply. "You doing alright?" Jack nodded, eyes a little hazy.

"Yep. Happy birthday, bud." Ennis touched his face.

"Thanks, darlin'." They kissed again and got under the covers, Jack spooning up behind Ennis and kissing the back of his neck, nuzzling a little into the curls. "Night."

"Night, Ennis," Jack replied softly. He kissed Ennis's shoulder and settled down, closing his eyes. Ennis soon followed, drifting off into dreams of the man lying with him, holding him close as if he never intended to let go of him. Ennis liked the feeling; it made him feel good, as if he truly mattered to someone. He could get used to this.

* * *

_October 1st, 2009_

It was a Thursday afternoon, and the two young men were strolling through the park, hand in hand. By a stroke of luck, they'd both gotten out of work earlier than usual, so had decided to walk around before going back to Ennis's place for dinner.

They sat down on their favourite bench and settled themselves. Jack lay on his back, his head on Ennis's knee and stared up into the deep blue sky. Ennis couldn't help but notice how his eyes were a perfect reflection of the sky above them. He started to gently stroke Jack's dark hair, loving its texture. He found he loved everything about Jack, both physical and spiritual. His kind nature was something that Ennis enjoyed seeing, and he knew that he loved the man lying against him, his eyes wide with wonder as he gazed upwards.

"Hey, look at that," Jack said suddenly, pointing up. Ennis followed where he was pointing and looked.

"What am I looking at?" he asked. Jack continued to point, up at the cloud his eyes were fixed on.

"That one there...looks like a sheep," he observed. "Don't you think?"

"I don't know, bud...sheep look like clouds on legs anyway..." Jack laughed.

"I guess. Beautiful, isn't it? The sky...so big. Anywhere in the world, right now...someone could look up and see exactly what we're seeing. Except on the other side, of course, like around Australia. But you know what I mean."

Ennis smiled and looked back down into Jack's eyes. There was no doubt about it; his lover was a dreamer, always thinking on a larger scale. He was fascinated by Jack's zest for life. Despite what had happened to him in the past and how it affected him on the anniversary, Jack's spirits were usually quite high, and it rubbed off on Ennis. He was starting to believe in Jack's capability to take care of himself, and that he wasn't always needed to look after Jack.

He felt okay about that; he had a feeling that for as long as they were together, Jack would always need him, because he was always going to be positive. There would be times, like that disturbing morning of flashbacks, when Jack would need to be taken care of, and Ennis knew that. But for most of the time, Jack was okay and it was a simple case of taking his medication, regular gym sessions and a good diet, which was easy enough to live with. When that was the case, they could focus more on their growing relationship. They were both very happy.

Jack fell silent and continued to gaze upwards, hands on his stomach. Ennis rested his hand on Jack's forehead and looked out across the area. There were kids playing by the lake and a few people walking their dogs.

The sound of a phone ringing made them both jump, and they scrabbled in their pockets, searching. "It's me," Ennis said, seeing that his phone was the one ringing. "It's my mom." Jack settled down and took Ennis's hand from his forehead, folding it in his own and running his thumb over it.

"Hey, mom."

"Hi, sweetie. How are things down there? How's your friend...Jack, was it?"

"Uh, yeah. He's fine, things are okay. What's up?"

"Well, I was talking to your dad, and I was wondering if you would like to come up for dinner this weekend. We'd like to meet Jack."

Ennis looked down to where Jack was busy playing with his fingers, happy to be lying here quietly. He looked peaceful and content, as if this was his special place where he was supposed to be. Ennis smiled affectionately and cleared his throat. "I don't know. He's right here; let me ask him." He tucked his phone under his chin. "Darlin'?" Jack looked up at him, large doe eyes piercing into his soul.

"Hmm?"

"My mom wants to know if you wanna go up there for dinner this weekend," Ennis told him. "You want to?" Jack blinked and thought over the offer; they'd talked about this scenario multiple times, and how Ennis's parents might react to him being positive. But maybe it was time for them to find out. Their relationship was solid and they both knew that nothing Ennis's parents said or did could change that. He nodded.

"Alright." Ennis squeezed his fingers and gave a small smile.

"He wants to come, mom," he said to her. "What day?"

"If you come on Sunday, I'll make a roast," she replied, knowing how much he loved her pot roast. And he knew that Jack was okay to eat it. He'd been hoping that they wouldn't have to reveal Jack's HIV status unless absolutely necessary; the longer they put off the inevitable backlash, the better. Jack didn't need that right now.

"Sounds great, mom. We'll be there."

"Good. Dinner's at five, so don't be late. We're looking forward to meeting Jack." Ennis smiled.

"Okay. Bye, mom."

"Bye, Ennis." They hung up and Ennis sighed, rubbing his forehead. Jack sat up and turned to face Ennis, looking sympathetic. He leaned in and kissed Ennis's cheek, stroking his face and trying to make him feel better. When they pulled apart, Jack kept their faces close together.

"Remember what we agreed on," he said softly. "They can't do anything to hurt what we've got, baby. They can't break us apart, alright?"

Ennis nodded and pulled Jack into his arms, breathing in the comforting scent of his lover. Jack was warm and firm; something to hold on to in times of distress. They sat there for a while, not speaking much. Occasionally Jack would press his lips to Ennis's neck and cheek, and Ennis would rub his back in response.

Eventually, they pulled apart and got up. "C'mon, darlin'," Ennis said, taking Jack's hand. "Let's go by your place and get your stuff, and go get some dinner." Jack nodded and kissed him on the mouth warmly.

"Sure thing, bud."

* * *

They went back to Jack's place to get him some clothes and meds for the next morning, and then retired to Ennis's apartment for dinner and a night together. Sensing that Ennis wanted him close, Jack stayed by his side and helped him with dinner, occasionally looking over to him and wondering what he was thinking.

He wasn't entirely sure what to expect on Sunday; no matter how many times they talked over it, Jack knew that there was no telling how Ennis's parents might react to his news. He tried not to worry about it too much and just concentrated on getting through the next few days. Jack knew that while he was nervous and a little scared of their reaction, Ennis must be terrified. What if they reacted so badly that they just couldn't accept it? What if they cut Ennis off from them for standing by Jack?

Jack sighed; he had to know what Ennis thought about that. "Bud?" Ennis looked up at him from where he was stirring the soup.

"Yeah?" Jack looked at him nervously.

"Well...I was thinking about Sunday. I know you must be really nervous about it..."

Ennis nodded. "Yeah. If they start talking about us having kids or something, we'd probably have to tell them the truth...that if we did, I'd have to be the father. They'd ask why, and..." He trailed off, not needing to elaborate any further. Jack nodded.

"What if they cut you off? Write you out of their will or something for standing by me?" he asked, eyes looking soulful. Ennis reached out and touched his cheek.

"Darlin'...we've been over this. Nothing they say or do will ever make me turn away from you. Alright?"

Jack lowered his eyes. "I know...you told me before. And I wanna believe you, but...nobody's ever stood by me like that before. Guess you could say I'm a little scared..." Ennis kissed his temple.

"Don't worry about it, Jack. I know we haven't been together long, but...it's long enough for me to know that this is what I want, and nobody can change that, not even them. It would be great if they accepted you and that we're together, but...if they don't, it's not the end of the world." Jack pulled back to look at him.

"It really wouldn't worry you if they cut you off because of me?" he asked incredulously. Ennis shrugged.

"Probably would at first, but...at the end of the day, I'd still have you, and they'd be the ones cut off. I'd be happy to just have you, so...either they'd come around, or they wouldn't. But it doesn't matter. We'd still be together, right?"

Jack nodded, smiling at Ennis's words. "Yeah. And if you're sure that things will be alright, no matter what their reaction...I guess I can try to believe that." Ennis smiled back and kissed him on the lips before turning to the soup, pouring it into two bowls while Jack brought the rolls to the table. They sat down and started to eat, both lost in their thoughts. Jack was still surprised that Ennis wasn't going to let his parents' reaction, whatever it might be, affect how he felt about him; that they would remain together. Nobody had ever fought for him before, and he was deeply touched by Ennis's gesture. He hoped that soon he would be able to tell Ennis how he felt.

After dinner, they retired to the sofa and watched a game show on TV for a while, before Jack started to give Ennis _that_ look. Ennis smiled at him, knowing that Jack was just trying to take his mind off things, and he took Jack's hand, following him to the bedroom. Jack closed the door behind them and frogmarched Ennis over to the bed, rubbing his shoulders and sitting him down on the end. He knelt between Ennis's legs, looking up into his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, running his hands over Ennis's calves. Ennis sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"I don't know...this weekend's gonna drag, I just know it...like the calm before the storm or something..." He shook his head, looking tired and worn out.

Jack nodded. "I know. But we'll be alright...can I take your mind off it?" he murmured. "How about a backrub?" Ennis smiled. He appreciated that Jack was trying to look after him and make him feel better.

"Sounds great." Jack stood up and they began to undress each other, kissing at skin as it was revealed and crawling up the bed together. When they were naked, Jack laid a hand on Ennis's chest, pushing slightly.

"Lay back," he instructed, eyes warm and soft, melting into Ennis's heart. He smiled and laid down, rolling onto his stomach for the backrub he'd been promised. Jack kissed his neck and reached into the nightstand for the bottle of massage oil, almond scented. He put some on his hands and rubbed them together, before straddling Ennis and starting to run his hands over the muscles, seeing them loosen up and relax. He smiled as he saw Ennis letting out his tension. "That feel good?"

Ennis nodded. "Sure does, darlin'..." Jack continued to massage his back, and soon enough he could tell that Ennis was falling asleep. He was a little aroused from massaging Ennis like this, but if Ennis wanted to sleep he wasn't about to stop him. There would be time in the morning for a little fun before they had to get up. He leaned forward over Ennis and stroked his hair, knowing that Ennis needed sleep more than anything else right now.

"Go to sleep, baby," he whispered. "Get some rest." He crawled off Ennis and settled on his side, smiling to himself at how peaceful Ennis looked, lying on his stomach and lost in dreamland. Jack knew that he'd never seen anything more beautiful in his life, and he felt his heart swell with everything he felt for Ennis. He shuffled further against Ennis and closed his eyes, listening to Ennis's deep, even breathing.

* * *

_October 4th, 2009_

Ennis was nervous, looking out of the window now and then as they drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, heading for Mill Valley. They would be at his parents' place very soon and he wasn't entirely sure what to expect. The only thing keeping him relatively calm was Jack's hand in his own, squeezing in a show of support.

"You never know, bud..." Jack started, sighing a little. "It might be alright. You said they were cool about you being gay, so..."

"Yeah, but...I don't know. Not easy to keep calm when you're stomach's in knots..."

"Here..." Jack opened up the dashboard and pulled out a small box of anti-anxiety tablets, handing one to Ennis. "Take one; try and relax." Ennis thanked him and swallowed it down when they stopped at the lights at the end of the Bridge.

They reached Mill Valley, and Ennis drove them through until they reached his parents' house. They lived on Sunnyside Avenue, a beautiful area with tall trees on either side of the road. He stopped the car outside a one-storey that had a gate at the front, the garden full of flowers, and looked at Jack. "What do you think?"

Jack nodded and smiled. "Nice place. Have they lived here long?"

"Uh, yeah, since I was a little kid. My mom's from around here, but my dad's from Wyoming where my uncle still lives, on his ranch. You ready to go in?" Jack nodded, but before Ennis got out, he wrapped his hand around Ennis's arm.

"Wait, bud..." He moved in close and kissed Ennis's cheek. "Remember what we've said, and what we agreed on." He smiled and saw Ennis take a deep breath.

"Yeah." They kissed and then got out, heading for the house. When Ennis knocked, the door was opened by a middle-aged woman with curly blonde hair and a bright smile.

"Ennis!" she exclaimed happily, moving forward to embrace her son. He smiled and hugged her back, tension relieving a little bit. They pulled apart and she turned to look at Jack. "This is your fella, then?" she asked, taking him in. Jack cleared his throat.

"Hi, Mrs Del Mar," he said to her, extending a hand. "Good to meet you." She shook his hand, glancing at Ennis.

"Call me Sarah, Jack. Come on in, boys." They followed her into a cosy living room, where a man was sat in an armchair watching the TV. He got up when they entered the room and greeted Jack, telling him to call him Keith. As Sarah prepared dinner, the three men sat waiting, bonding over the latest soccer results.

"So," Sarah started as they began to eat the delicious roast that was making Jack's mouth water. "How long have you been in the city, Jack?"

He glanced at Ennis. "Um, not long, actually. I only moved there about two months before I met Ennis. I'm from New York, and I had...family issues, so I decided to move. Been living in different places for the last five years, never could settle down. But...I'm happy where I am now." He smiled and Sarah nodded.

"That's good. Ever since Ennis broke up with Alma and told us he's gay...I've been worried that he might not find anyone. I know it's harder for two guys to find each other...still, I'm really glad he's found you, Jack." He smiled and they returned to the food.

Dinner went well, and then Sarah brought up the topic that they'd been dreading. "So then...what's on the cards for you two? Living together, maybe? I know you can't get hitched, not since that awful Proposition 8."

"Well...we'll probably move in together at some point," Jack answered, looking at Ennis. "But yeah...that might be it."

"What about kids?" she asked hopefully. "Two good-looking young men like you...I bet you could both father children."

"Um..." Ennis and Jack looked at each other, and silently agreed. _Go on, it's okay. _

"Could I use your bathroom?" Jack asked, and she nodded.

"Sure, it's out in the hall, second door to the left." He left and they turned to look at Ennis. "Is something wrong?" she asked in concern. Ennis shook his head.

"It's just...there's something you ought to know. Jack knows I'm going to tell you this, and he didn't want to be in the room when I did." He took a deep breath. "The thing is...if Jack and I wanted to have kids...I'd have to be the birth father." His mother raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Jack...he's...HIV positive."

Neither of his parents spoke for several minutes, but he could tell that they were working things out. He and Jack were sleeping together, so there was the very real chance that he could become infected.

"What?" his father breathed, thunderstruck. Ennis bit his lip.

"Yeah...and we hoped that we wouldn't have to tell you yet, but...since you were asking about kids...we figured we'd be honest."

"I can't believe this!" Sarah said, looking at her husband. Jack, who had been hiding just out of sight, with no intention of ever going to the bathroom at all, covered his mouth with his hand, feeling sick.

"Mom..."

"And you brought him back here? To our home? Ennis...are you two...?"

"Yeah, we're sleeping together," he confirmed, determined to stand his ground.

"Jesus..." They both stood up, and Ennis did the same, heart pounding. "I want him out of our house, right now," Sarah demanded. "I can't believe you sprung this on us! Why couldn't you just find someone who you don't have to worry about?"

"I could," Ennis replied. "But I don't want to. I want to be with Jack..."

"Ennis..." his mother implored him. "Please reconsider this, before you get infected. He's such a risk to be with. If you break up with him, and find a guy who's safe..."

He shook his head. "I'm not breaking up with him, I..."

"Why not?" she asked, eyes pleading. "Why are you putting yourself at risk like this?"

"Because I love him!" he yelled, finally working the words past his lips. He shook all over, and Jack could feel his own pulse pounding in his ears, completely shocked.

"You what?" she repeated, looking crestfallen. Jack rounded the corner and stared at the back of Ennis's head.

"What did you say?" he whispered, and Ennis turned around, eyes locking onto Jack's.

"I..." He looked back at his parents, seeing the hatred in their eyes as they looked at Jack, and then turned back to the man he loved. It was crystal clear now; nothing could hold back his feelings about Jack.

Ennis smiled and moved closer to his lover, seeing the hope in his eyes. "I love you, Jack," he said softly, touching Jack's cheek. Jack couldn't prevent a grin from spreading across his face.

"You do?" Ennis nodded and Jack felt his heart soar. "I love you too," he replied, voice catching in his throat. Ennis pulled him into his arms and kissed the side of his head. He then pulled away a little and looked at his dumbstruck parents.

"Dinner was great...but I think we'll be going now. I love Jack, and if you can't accept that...it's not our problem." He took Jack's hand and led him out of the house to the car, stopping to kiss him a few times before they headed back to the city, feeling as though a corner had been turned for both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_October 5th - 11th, 2009_

When Ennis and Jack woke up together in Jack's bed on Monday morning, they both had grins on their faces. What happened on Sunday would never be forgotten by either of them, no matter what else might come their way.

Ennis was confused and a little hurt by his parents practically throwing them out of the house, but he tried to focus instead on himself and Jack. Having blurted out his true feelings, the words now came easier to him, and he'd made full use of this last night when they got back. It was some of the best sex they'd ever had.

Jack, for his part, could recall how his heart had exploded with intense love around the same time as last night's orgasm. Ennis's words at the house, saying that he loved him...he was still on cloud nine. It wasn't how he'd initially imagined them saying the words for the first time, but it was somehow perfect. Ennis had stood up against his parents (and Jack knew the kind of guts that took) and told them flat out that he wasn't going to break up with Jack, no matter what they might say or do. Jack knew that he'd found someone very special in Ennis, and was determined to keep them together.

As they lay together one morning, slowly kissing, Ennis pulled away and looked down at Jack, trailing one finger along Jack's jawline and smiling softly to himself. Jack grinned a little.

"What's on your mind, bud?" he asked, rubbing Ennis's arm as he gazed up at him. Ennis paused, thinking it over.

"Just feels like...we've turned some kind of corner, ever since Sunday. I mean...I had a feeling that you loved me, and I hoped you knew that I loved you, but to actually say it..."

Jack took Ennis's hand, squeezing his fingers. "I know. I was talking to Lureen about it a little while ago. I told her that I loved you, but that I was scared to say it in case you...weren't quite there yet. You know?" Ennis nuzzled Jack's neck, making him smile. "Bud...you know that drives me nuts...cut it out..." he tried to protest, laughing softly. Ennis pulled up and kissed the tip of his nose.

"I know you were nervous to tell me, Jack. Knowing what I know about those five years before we met...kind of makes sense."

"Nobody ever stood up for me the way you do," Jack whispered, eyes large and soulful. "Never got far enough with anyone for that..." A lump grew in his throat and he let out a shaky breath. "I love you so much, Ennis..."

Ennis smiled and kissed him warmly, stroking his cheek. When he pulled away, he kept his face close. "I love you too, Jack." He straddled his lover and leaned down, pressing his full weight onto Jack and settling his face in Jack's collarbone, just resting there. Jack weaved his arms around Ennis's back and sighed contentedly. He was more in love with Ennis than ever now.

After talking it over with Jack, Ennis left a message on his parents' answering machine. He told them that he was standing by Jack, and that nothing they said or did would change his mind, because he loved Jack and was willing to take those risks. He finished the message by telling them that if they could ever accept it and welcome Jack to the family, then he would always be there, willing to listen, but that if they couldn't, it was just the way things were. Ennis hoped that he could reconcile with them, but if he couldn't, then at least he would still have Jack. That much was certain.

They had noticed that their workmates were discreetly talking about them, seeing that they were a lot happier than they'd ever seen them. Ennis and Jack finally agreed to say something. Ennis was also out at work, and the pair of them told their workmates that they were seeing someone and were very happy, and left it at that. The girls that Jack had overheard told him that they'd suspected, and that they were happy for him. And they'd long since stopped trying to get his attention. Jack liked the girls; they were fun and pleasant. He would just never like them in anything other than a platonic way.

Jack entered the coffeehouse on Friday, waiting for Ennis and looking for Lureen. He'd told her what had happened on the previous Sunday, and she was relieved that he and Ennis had finally expressed their love for one another.

"Hey, Lu," he greeted as he sat at the counter. She turned and smiled.

"Jack, hey. The usual?" He nodded and she set about making it, noting how he was practically glowing. "You look good," she said to him with a smile. "You know...content."

"Try drunk on love," he replied with a grin. "Been up on cloud nine ever since Sunday."

"I'll bet. I've never seen you this happy, Jack. And I'm really glad that things are working out for you and Ennis."

He smiled. "Thanks, Lu. I think...I've finally found the one. The guy I'm supposed to be with. I know it's a cliché, but..."

"But nothing," she interjected. "I believe in love and soulmates and all that...and I can say that I think you and Ennis are perfect for each other." Her eyes travelled to the doorway. "Speak of the devil..." Jack turned in time to see Ennis walking through the door, and he grinned, heart soaring to see the man he loved.

Ennis walked over, smiling widely, and kissed him full on the mouth before sitting down. Lureen set about getting him some coffee and he took Jack's hand, interlacing their fingers.

"Hey, darlin'. Everything alright?" Jack nodded.

"Yep, just fine. Especially since you walked through the door." Ennis kissed his hand and they started to talk about their morning, swapping tales and laughing together, hands never once breaking free from each other.

* * *

After lunch, they went back to work and thought of each other as the day progressed, wondering what they might have for dinner. Ennis knew the kinds of foods that were the most beneficial to Jack, and he had been pleased to learn that he liked all of it. They'd developed a taste for Oriental food and trashy TV late at night; he figured that it was probably because they were two young guys and loved nothing more than lounging about.

Ennis knew that Jack loved his muscles, brought about by so many summers on his uncle's ranch, but Ennis thought that Jack's muscles were just as enticing. Jack's many sessions to the gym were clearly paying off; he knew that it was necessary for Jack to build up muscle, but Ennis found that he could reap the benefits, too.

They met up after work in the park and started to slowly walk through towards Jack's place, hand in hand. Ennis was busy telling Jack about a particularly difficult incident involving a dog that needed a shot, when Jack heard his cell phone ringing in his pocket. They stopped and he pulled it out. "It's my mom," he said to Ennis, who nodded. They moved to the nearby bench and Jack opened up his phone. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, Jack. How's it going over there?" She sounded friendly enough, but he often wondered what she really thought of everything that had happened, including what he now had inside his body. The reaction of Ennis's parents was making him a little paranoid.

"Um, fine. Everything's okay."

"How's Ennis?" she asked, sounding curious. Jack glanced at him.

"He's fine; we both are," he answered, hoping that she wouldn't interrogate about Ennis too much.

"That's good. So, um...are you going to bring him over here?" she asked hopefully. Jack sighed. He should have expected this. Part of him knew that she simply wanted to remain close to him, metaphorically if not physically, and that she wanted to get to know Ennis, but he was still very hesitant about going back to New York.

"Mom...I don't know. We've talked about this before..." He closed his eyes and Ennis put one arm around him, holding him close. Jack appreciated the comforting gesture. "You know I'd love to come and see you, and I want you to meet Ennis. But..."

"You could come when your dad's working, or I could meet you in the city..." she suggested. Truth was, she wanted to be part of her son's life, and wanted to know the man he was seeing. Jack had spoken highly of him and she at least knew that he was happy.

Jack screwed his eyes shut. "Mom...my dad's not the only reason why it's difficult for me to think about going back there." Ennis rested his head against Jack's, sympathy running through him as he remembered the morning when Jack had been sick with flashbacks.

_No wonder he's scared, _Ennis thought. _Considering what happened..._

"You were fine when you came back before leaving for the city..." she replied, sounding woeful. Jack started to get angry.

"Was I, mom? You've no idea...the only thing making me happy was the fact that I'd be getting away, making a fresh start. I haven't been fine in five years; it's only since I met Ennis that I've been really happy. Did you know that on every anniversary of that day, I've been sick with flashbacks, remembering every little detail?" He was breathing heavily and Ennis was rubbing his shoulders, trying to calm him. He'd never seen Jack's temper before, but he figured that Jack had good reason to show it now.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she said in a soft voice. "I didn't know that you're suffering so bad. I'm glad that you're happy now, sweetheart. I just want to see you."

Jack placed his hand over his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry, too...didn't mean to go off like that. I'd better go, okay? I'll talk to you soon."

"Alright. Bye, Jack," she replied, now sounding defeated. She just didn't know how to deal with all of this. Her son being gay was one thing; having something like HIV was a huge deal and not easy to get used to.

"Bye, mom..." He hung up and found himself in Ennis's arms, being held tightly. He briefly considered fighting Ennis off and dealing with the mess himself, but he couldn't muster the energy. He gave in, melting into the embrace and resting his head on Ennis's shoulder. Ennis rubbed his back, waiting for him to speak. "I shouldn't have said all that..."

"Shh, darlin'...it's alright. After everything you've been through, I think you have the right to be like that. And I'm sure she understands."

Jack tried not to sniffle, but his emotions were getting the better of him. "Ennis...you know how hard I try to stay upbeat, but..." He couldn't go on.

"Sometimes it's not easy," Ennis finished for him, rubbing his back. "I know, Jack." He pulled away and thumbed away the tears in Jack's eyes, looking right at him. "You're very brave, considering what you've been through. Not many others would have such high spirits after that...I've always admired that about you." Jack gave a watery smile.

"Really?" Ennis nodded, smiling back.

"I do, darlin'. I know it's not always easy for you, but...don't forget...I'm right here for when you can't handle it by yourself. I'm here," he repeated, holding Jack's face. Jack nodded.

"Thanks, Ennis..." They kissed a few times and then got up, Ennis squeezing Jack's hand.

"Let's go and get something to eat," he said, tugging Jack forwards. They continued walking through the park towards Jack's apartment, and Jack felt warmth flooding through him as he looked at Ennis every now and then.

"I love you," he said as they were walking down the street, smiling at Ennis. He smiled back.

"Love you too, Jack," he replied, kissing Jack's cheek. They reached Jack's apartment building, passing a smiling Lureen on the way up; she was heading out for a date. Ennis settled Jack onto the sofa and made himself at home in Jack's kitchen, preparing dinner for them both.

When they went to bed that night, Ennis held Jack close and kissed him as they rubbed their hips and groins together, reaching a climax of dizzying heights and then collapsing. They whispered words of love and Ennis promised Jack that everything would be alright.

* * *

_October 12th, 2009_

It was now Jack's birthday, and Ennis had taken him out for dinner at their favourite Chinese place, insisting that he would be paying no matter what it cost. Jack was grateful that Ennis seemed to be so devoted to making him happy, and he had already decided that he would return the favour as much as he could; doing whatever it took to make Ennis happy. He figured that they were pretty much there already, especially since the scene at Ennis's parents' house. At least one good thing had come of it; the confession of their deep feelings for one another.

Jack steadily ate his way through the sweet and sour pork and looked around; the owners of this place were Chinese, and had really gone all out to make this place authentic. It was a nice place and the food was great, but he was far more interested in the man sat across from him.

He found himself thinking of the months ahead. Christmas would be arriving soon, and while he and Ennis both had two weeks off for the holiday, he had no idea what they might be doing. He wanted to spend it with Ennis, but they hadn't voiced any suggestions for how they would spend it. Ennis had made no mention of going to his uncle's ranch, and it was clear that he didn't want to talk to his parents just yet. It was too soon and the wound from the entire debacle was too raw still.

He thought about New York; perhaps they could go there for Christmas, if Ennis wanted to. But Jack was still nervous about going back to the city; the last time he'd been there, he'd only spent a brief while in the city, going over to Long Island while his father was out so he could bid farewell to his mother. But he knew that Ennis would want to see the city, and Jack didn't want to deprive him of that just because of his issues. Before the attack, he had loved walking around the city. He'd loved walking through Central Park, but look where that had gotten him.

But perhaps it would be okay if Ennis was there with him. Maybe he would be brave enough to walk through if Ennis was by his side, protecting him. He could hold Jack's hand and reassure him that it was okay, until he started to feel braver about being there. That was something to think about.

After the first course and while they were waiting for dessert, they picked at the fortune cookies on the table, seeing what might be in store.

"We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other," Jack read out, grinning a little. "Well, that's something. I think we've got that covered. You know I love you," he continued, looking up at Ennis, whose cheeks reddened. He then took his own from the basket and broke it open, eyebrows rising when he saw the fortune inside.

"Love is at your hands; be glad and hold onto it," he read aloud, glancing up at Jack. "Do these people know us or something?" he asked with a grin. Jack smiled and took Ennis's hand.

"I don't know, bud. I just know that I am glad I've got you, and that you love me." Ennis covered their hands with his free one.

"I do love you, Jack. So much..." They continued to smile and play with each other's fingers until their dessert arrived, and reluctantly broke free from each other. Ennis watched Jack eat his chocolate cake, and he noticed that every time Jack licked the spoon, he did it slowly and deliberately, eyes fixed on Ennis's face. It didn't take a genius to figure out what Jack was doing.

_Little tease, _he thought to himself. _Gonna make him pay for that._ He shook his head and tried to ignore what Jack's actions were doing to his nether regions. There would be plenty of time for that later.

After dinner, they walked around the city for a while, taking in the bright lights and energy that only seemed to appear at night when people went out. They ended up at the movie theatre, picked a movie at random and sat at the back of the half-empty room by themselves, making out in the dark. Ennis had already given Jack his present; a brand new cell phone that he'd wanted.

Ennis touched Jack's cheek, half of their faces illuminated by the light from the screen. Jack was smiling, his eyes full of love. He looked calm, peaceful and very happy. Ennis couldn't help but smile back at the sight, knowing that it was him who had put that smile there.

"You have a good birthday, darlin'?" he asked, seeing Jack lean into his touch. Jack nodded.

"Sure did. Great food, great place..." He leaned in and nuzzled Ennis's neck, kissing gently over the skin that he worshipped. "But the company was the best part." He pressed a kiss to the Adam's apple and rested his head on Ennis's shoulder, sighing contentedly. Ennis put one arm fully around Jack, pulling him close protectively as they sat there. Neither of them had any idea what was going on in the movie, but that didn't register. All they cared about was the fact that they were here, together, where they should be.

When the movie finally ended, they headed back out to Ennis's car and made out some more in the back seat, the thrill of doing this in public running through them both. They stopped short of undoing their pants, knowing that if they were caught having sex in public there would be trouble. If it had been a desolate area in the middle of nowhere, they would have gone for it. But this was a public parking lot, likely patrolled now and then. When they were calm enough and got themselves back under control, they put their seatbelts on and Ennis got the car started, heading for his place so they could resume their celebrations.

* * *

Jack was on Ennis as soon as the door was locked behind them. He started kissing Ennis's neck and letting his hands travel down the strong chest, south towards his belt. Ennis took a moment to respond, and then pulled Jack closer, fingers working at his buttons. "Mmm...Jack..." he sighed, enjoying where this was going. Jack seemed to have that kind of effect on him, and he loved it.

He felt himself being pulled backwards, through the living room towards the bedroom. Jack yelped into Ennis's mouth when he backed into the coffee table, and broke away.

"Ow, dammit..." he muttered, rubbing his leg. Ennis bit back a laugh.

"Your own fault, not watching where you're going." Jack rolled his eyes.

"That's because I can't wait to get you into bed," he admitted with a grin. He pulled Ennis close again, drawing their lips back together and once more moving across the apartment. They banged their way into Ennis's bedroom, falling onto the bed together and laughing softly. Jackets were thrown to the floor, swiftly followed by shirts and belts. They crawled up the bed and kicked off their jeans, kissing fiercely. "Mmm..."

"Mmmhmm..." Ennis responded, unable to form words with Jack's tongue in his mouth. He was rolled onto his back as Jack attacked his neck once more, sucking eagerly. Ennis bucked when Jack softly bit him, not enough to hurt but enough to drive him crazy. "Oh God, do that again..." Jack obliged him and grinned against Ennis's skin.

"You like that, baby?" he whispered into Ennis's ear, hand travelling south once more. Ennis nodded, breathing heavily. When Jack got like this with him, he was usually unable to do anything but go along with it. All thought went out of the window when Jack was here, doing these things.

"Darlin'..."

"Can I get a present?" Jack purred in a voice smooth as honey. Ennis shivered with arousal.

"Help yourself..." Jack kissed him and straddled him, eyes glittering. It was very clear how much Jack wanted him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, now serious. "Can I...?" Ennis nodded, eyes hazy.

"Yeah." Jack cupped his cheeks, kissing him softly.

"Alright, baby...just relax, okay?" He reached over and went through the motions, putting on a rubber and coating himself with lube. He then lifted Ennis's legs and rested them over his shoulders, smearing lube over a couple of fingers and slowly inserting one, watching Ennis's face go slack. This was a feeling unlike any other; one that he would never get tired of, no matter how many times it was done.

"Oh...Jack..." he sighed, mouth open and eyes closed. Jack nuzzled his neck.

"That feel good? Tell me when you're ready..." Ennis bucked a little when Jack inserted another finger, scissoring them inside him and watching his face.

"I'm...I'm ready..." he breathed, and Jack withdrew his fingers, getting into position.

"Okay...just relax..." He slowly began to push into Ennis, one hand between them. Ennis breathed deeply as he always did in these moments, willing himself to remain calm.

Once Jack was fully inside him, he moved in close to kiss Ennis deeply, tongues meeting eagerly. They began to move together, slowly rocking and sighing as their bodies became one. "Ennis...love you..." Jack choked out, head buried in his neck. Ennis pulled Jack closer, as much as he could while bent in half like this.

"I love you too..." he gasped, legs starting to shake as he felt his orgasm loom. Jack continued to thrust into him, picking up the pace and kissing Ennis's neck as he loved to. At last, they reached the finish line, Jack feeling the warmth spreading between their stomachs and Ennis hearing him groan.

Jack collapsed onto Ennis and sighed, sinking down onto him and smiling. "Mmm...you alright?" Ennis nodded.

"Sure am, darlin'..." Jack pulled out and rolled onto his back, groaning a little. He rolled off the condom and went to dispose of it. He came back to the sight of Ennis, looking freshly-fucked and very happy about it. Jack grinned and crawled back onto the bed, kissing his cheek. He then looked around.

"You want a nightcap, or you wanna go to sleep?" he asked, stroking the curls. Ennis opened his eyes, perked up by the idea of them spending more time together before going to sleep.

"Wouldn't say no to some whiskey," he replied, now waking up a little. They hadn't done this often, especially at night. Usually they were too tired to stay up and talk. Jack nodded and left the bedroom, looking for some whiskey. While he was in the kitchen, he found a bag of chips and decided to bring Ennis a late-night snack.

He came back into the bedroom to find Ennis sitting up, propped against the headboard with the pillow behind him. Jack smiled and tossed him the chips, putting the glass with the shot of whiskey on his nightstand. He went around the bed to his side and settled down next to Ennis, drinking the whiskey and sharing the chips.

They sat in a companiable silence and ate their way through the bag until they'd had enough and finished their drinks. Jack stretched and sighed, feeling warm and sleepy. "Gonna take these back..." he started, but Ennis grabbed his wrist.

"Don't have to do it tonight," he said, pulling Jack back down. "C'mere..." He kissed Jack on the lips until Jack relented.

"Alright, bud. Let's get some sleep." They pulled the pillows down and cleared the bed, getting under the covers. Once in the cosy heat of the quilt, they found each other and snuggled together, Ennis putting his arms around Jack and kissing the top of his head.

"Happy birthday, darlin'," he said softly, rubbing his lover's back. Jack smiled and fit his head into Ennis's collarbone.

"Thanks, Ennis. I love you..." The words fell from his mouth easily now, after the first time. He knew that Ennis felt exactly the same about him, and that they very likely had a future together. That was something to look forward to.

* * *

Three days later, Jack fell ill from a cold. Ennis immediately went into panic mode as soon as Jack woke up, sneezing and coughing.

"Are you okay?" he asked helplessly, rubbing Jack's shoulders. Jack shivered.

"Cold..." He lay back and buried himself under the covers, big doe eyes looking up at Ennis. "Can't go into work with this...not with the HIV. You shouldn't be so close, either..."

"Need to make sure you're okay..." Ennis reasoned, and then thought for a moment. "Alright, I'm gonna stay with you. One day won't get me fired; I'll just be honest. Say that I'm taking care of my sick boyfriend," he added with a smile. Jack coughed weakly. "What about your work?"

"They don't know you," Jack rasped out. "Can you call Lureen and get her to do it? They know her..." He coughed again. "And...can you call my doctor?" Ennis looked alarmed. "It's alright...just need him to make sure that it's just a cold."

"Okay," Ennis replied with a nod. He then felt Jack's forehead. "I'll get you something to drink and some tissues, okay?" He got up and left the room, praying that it really was just a cold.

After calling Lureen and the doctor, Ennis brought in some things to help, such as juice and tissues. He considered using vapour rub on Jack, but decided to wait until the doctor had been. Not wanting to catch any germs, he sat on a chair in the corner, watching Jack protectively.

When the doctor arrived, Ennis let him in so he could examine Jack. "So, you're the famous Ennis?" he asked with a smile. "Jack's told me a lot about you." Ennis shuffled his feet and hovered outside the bedroom. He watched the doctor examine Jack and then stand up.

"So what's the deal, doc?" Ennis asked nervously. Richard looked at him, wondering how much he knew.

"It's okay, Rick," Jack said, coughing a little. "Ennis knows about the HIV." Richard nodded and sighed.

"Well, it does just seem to be a cold, Jack. I know the weather's getting colder now, so you have to be very careful. Did you call work?"

"Got Lureen to do it," he replied, sniffing and blinking rapidly, his eyes feeling warm. All he wanted was to completely disappear under the quilt for a while. Richard nodded and then looked at Ennis. "Here." He handed over a surgical mask, and Ennis took it with a confused expression. "So you can stay by him and not worry about infection." Comprehension dawned on Ennis's face and he nodded.

"Thanks, doc." Richard left and Ennis put the mask on, very grateful for the gesture. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Jack's cheek. Jack opened his eyes and grinned.

"Don't you look a sight," he chuckled. "But I sure am glad you can stay nearby."

"Me too." Ennis so badly wanted to kiss Jack, but that was out of the question right now. Sitting close like this was okay, but anything more than that would have to wait. He went to sit on his side of the bed, propped up against the pillows and watching Jack as he fell asleep.

Ennis stayed there for about another hour, reading his book and keeping an eye on Jack. Around lunchtime, he heard Jack waking up.

"Uhh..."

"You alright?" he asked softly, rubbing Jack's arm. Jack coughed.

"Still feel like shit," he replied. "Kind of hungry, though..."

"Want some chicken soup?" Ennis offered, and Jack nodded.

"Sounds good." As Ennis walked out of the room, Jack called after him. "Ennis?"

"Yeah, darlin'?" Jack smiled.

"Thanks. Love you..."

"Love you too, bud." Ennis left the room to get lunch started. He came back a little later to find Jack nodding off. As much as he knew that sleep was good for Jack, he needed to eat too. "Jack? Got some soup here..." he said softly, sitting by him. Jack opened his eyes and sniffed. He couldn't smell anything through his nostrils, but it sure looked good. Too weak right now to do it himself, Jack allowed Ennis to feed him, the hot soup trickling down his throat and warming his insides. Ennis could see that this was doing Jack the world of good.

When he'd had enough, and had eaten most of the soup anyway, Jack sighed and lay back down, smiling up at Ennis. "Thanks...sure glad you're taking care of me."

Ennis smiled, even though Jack couldn't see it. He stroked Jack's cheek, seeing his lover lean into the touch. Jack gave a low purr of contentment.

"Get some sleep, darlin'," Ennis instructed. "The more you sleep, the sooner this'll go away right?" Jack nodded and closed his eyes, curling up. Ennis once more took his place on his side of the bed and resumed his reading, glad that Jack was going to be okay.

The rest of the day passed in a haze. Jack slept a lot, occasionally waking up to sneeze or cough until he settled down again. Ennis stayed by his side, reading when Jack slept and looking after him when he woke up.

As Jack was sleeping early in the evening, Lureen came by to check that everything was okay, telling Ennis that she was just a phone call away if they needed her. Ennis was glad that Jack had such a good friend on his side, and that she could deal with the outside world for him while he took care of Jack.

In the middle of the night, Ennis awoke to the sounds of Jack stirring restlessly. "Ennis?" he called out. "You there?"

"I'm right here, bud," Ennis replied, putting an arm around Jack and rubbing his back. "It's okay, I'm here." Jack settled down again and relaxed, knowing that Ennis was nearby. Ennis watched him fall asleep again, heart filled with love as he looked over the familiar features. Jack was the most important person in his life now, and he would do anything to make sure that Jack was alright. No matter what the future held, Ennis knew that they would be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_October 20th, 2009_

Life had settled well for Ennis and Jack, and as the weeks passed they found themselves growing happier all the time. They had another weekend boat trip out on the water together, watching the sun set and relaxing on the same deckchair. They loved lounging about and enjoying some quiet time together. After their recent drama with Ennis's parents, they felt as if they deserved to have some time like this. Jack's cold had passed after a few days, and Ennis stopped worrying so much now that he knew Jack was okay.

As time passed, they began to learn more and more about each other. They both had a liking for sitcoms and action movies, liked the same kind of music and both had an insatiable taste for fried chicken when the mood struck them. They enjoyed staying up late at night and eating fast food while watching TV, especially noodles. One of them would take a strand and put one end in their mouth, the other one taking the other end. They would then move forward, eating the strand until their lips met. It didn't matter how old they were; they enjoyed the giddiness of love that run through them. Jack sometimes felt like a teenager in love when he and Ennis were together, and knew that Ennis felt the same from some of the things they did.

Despite how happy they were, there was one thing annoying Jack. Matters in the bedroom hadn't changed much, and Ennis still hadn't been on top. Whenever they had actual sex, it was always Jack doing the fucking. While he knew that it felt pretty damn good, and that Ennis enjoyed it, Jack couldn't help but feel frustrated that Ennis wouldn't return the favour. He wanted to know how it might feel to have Ennis inside him, and he had a feeling he would like it. His only experience with penetration wasn't exactly something he cared to remember, if he could help it.

During his lunch break, and knowing that Ennis would still be at work for a little while, Jack entered the coffeehouse, looking for Lureen, and found her wiping down tables. "Hey, Lu."

"Hey," she replied, smiling. "You want a coffee? I was just about to take a break..." He nodded and she got him a drink, getting herself one and sitting down with him. "So...what's on your mind? You look like you wanna talk about something."

Jack chewed his lip. "There is something bothering me, but...I don't know if you wanna hear about it. Um...it's about...me and Ennis. You know...sex."

Her eyebrows lifted. "Oh...well, if you wanna tell me, it's okay. But I won't push if you don't."

"I need to talk to someone, Lu." He sighed. "Thing is...with us, it's always been...me on top," he admitted, eyes lowered. "I mean...that doesn't make him less of a man," he added quickly, glancing up. She nodded.

"Of course not...just means he trusts you," she agreed. "So...he's never...?"

"No. At first I thought that maybe he was too nervous about it, and was happy to let me take over. And especially with how I got HIV in the first place...probably scared him. But now...I don't know. We've been together nearly three months, and he still hasn't..." Jack cleared his throat. "Every time I try to coax things that way...to get him to do it...he either rolls on his back and pulls me over him, or goes down on me..."

Lureen smirked. "You complaining? Never thought I'd meet a guy who'd complain about that." Jack gave her a withering look.

"You know what I mean, Lu. He keeps...batting me off every time I try to get him to fuck me. I love what we're already doing, and being with him is really great. I just wish we were doing everything, and that he'd do it."

They fell into silence for a few moments, both thinking. Lureen thought about what Jack must be feeling. He loved Ennis, and she knew from her own experiences with love that he wanted to share everything with Ennis; to have them completely be a part of each other. It must be very frustrating to have this one thing missing from their relationship, like a part of a jigsaw that you just couldn't find no matter how hard you tried to.

She sighed and placed her hand over his. "Jack...I think you have to talk to him about this. For all you know, he could be scared for you. Maybe he just doesn't want you to...I don't know, freak out or something when he goes to do it. Maybe he thinks you'll remember the attack," she continued in a soft voice.

Jack looked up at her, seeing the logic in her words. "Yeah...maybe." It did make some sort of sense. Ennis cared about his well-being, making it a priority no matter what else might be going on. If he was truly worried that penetrating Jack would cause him to remember what happened, then maybe it was all he could do to reassure Ennis that this wouldn't happen. He honestly thought that it wouldn't; his body and mind had long since recovered, save for the flashbacks and nausea on the anniversary. He loved and trusted Ennis enough to know that he would never hurt him.

He sighed. "Guess I do have to talk to him," he mused, running his finger along the rim of his mug. "Maybe he is just scared."

"And you'll have to let him know how it is," she finished, nodding. "Anyway...I should get back to work." She kissed his cheek and stood up. "Let me know how it goes, okay?" He nodded and she left him to his thoughts. The whole thing made him think on a larger scale. As much as he loved Ennis, he knew that their relationship wouldn't work if they didn't talk about things, especially what was troubling them. He was determined to keep this going, because Ennis made him a lot happier than he'd ever thought he could be. So he would simply have to bite the bullet and ask him what was going on.

* * *

Jack spent the next couple of days thinking about his conversation with Lureen. It did make sense that Ennis might be scared of penetrating him, thinking that it would make Jack remember the attack. While he appreciated Ennis's tactfulness, Jack couldn't help but be a little pissed off that Ennis hadn't even asked him about it.

He tried to send Ennis signals that it was okay for him to be on top, but didn't have much luck. He decided that enough was enough when, one night, he lay on his back with his legs spread wide, and Ennis had simply sucked him off, leaving him both satisfied and frustrated.

On Friday morning, as they were eating breakfast, Jack decided to go ahead and ask. "Ennis...we have to talk about something."

Ennis froze. The words that nobody wants to hear from the person they're seeing. He sure as hell hoped that Jack wasn't breaking up with him. Ennis cared about him so much; when Jack had been ill, he'd managed to wrangle that day and the next off, as it was just before the weekend. He'd stayed by Jack's side for four days while he recovered.

"Um...okay. What's up?" he asked nervously. Jack sighed.

"You know I love you, and that I love being with you. But...our sex life...there's just one thing missing."

Ennis's heart sank. _Should've seen this one coming. _"Yeah?"

Jack looked at him, deciding to just be blunt. "Ennis...haven't you noticed that it's always me on top? That you've never...?"

"Uh huh..." A quiet admission, but Jack sensed that it might have been on Ennis's mind just as much as his. He gently placed his hand over Ennis's.

"What's going on?" he asked softly. "It's not right for it to be all one-sided like this; you have needs, too. I know you do. And...I feel selfish, being on top all the time. I don't exactly like feeling that way." Jack looked imploringly into Ennis's eyes, hoping for a response. "You gonna tell me?" He chewed his lip. "Is it...you're scared that if I...take it up the ass, I'll feel like less of a man or something? Do you feel that way when I'm fucking you?"

Ennis shook his head. "No, that's not it. Feels good, having you inside me like that. Never felt like less of a man." He took a deep breath. "Jack, I..."

"What?" he asked, squeezing Ennis's fingers. "Tell me..."

"I..." His throat worked and he tore his eyes away from Jack, who sighed.

"It's about what happened, isn't it?" he said quietly, and he saw Ennis nod. "I kind of figured it out. You're scared that...if you try to do it, I'll get flashbacks or something and panic, right?"

"Yeah..." Ennis felt his chin being lifted until he was looking into those deep, soul-searching eyes.

"Look at me, Ennis..." Jack murmured, keeping him still. "That's not going to happen. I promise. I know I get flashbacks on the anniversary of the attack, but that's it. Most of the time, I'm okay."

"I...I'm scared of hurting you, Jack," Ennis admitted, looking fearful. "Keep thinking that...if I do it, and you get scared, we'll break up or something because you can't stand to be near me..."

"Baby..." Jack cupped his cheeks. "That'll never happen. I swear to you, Ennis...it'll be fine. I want you to do it...I want to feel you inside me." He kept their eyes fixed together. "I trust you, Ennis. I know that you'd never hurt me. I love you so much, and I don't want this to be a...a black spot on our relationship. We have to talk about these things and fix them as soon as we can."

They stared at each other for a few moments, and Ennis spoke hesitantly. "You really wouldn't get scared if I...?" Jack shook his head.

"No, because you know what? We'd do it with me on my back and you leaning over me. That way...I know it's you. We might never get to a point where I'll let you take me from behind, because...it's a little too close to what happened. But I think it'd be fine if I could see you, and if you'd kiss me. Tell me that everything's alright so that I can hear your voice..." He smiled. "What do you say?"

Ennis looked into his eyes and swallowed. If Jack was so certain that everything would be okay, there might be a chance that he could do it. The more he thought about it and looked into those eyes, the more he believed that it would be alright.

"I wanna do it, Jack," he admitted. "I really do...I'm just scared for you..."

"You don't have to be," Jack told him firmly. "We'll figure it out together, alright?" Ennis nodded.

"How about tonight?" he asked unexpectedly. "Since we're talking about it..." Jack grinned.

"Sounds great. It's Friday; you wanna go out tonight?"

"Sure. Dinner and a movie?"

"Just what I had in mind." They cleared away the breakfast dishes and made sure they had everything they needed, Ennis making sure that Jack had taken his meds. Jack came up to Ennis from behind and wrapped his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. "I love you..."

Ennis let his eyes slide shut and covered Jack's arms with his own, enjoying the embrace. "I love you too, Jack. Sorry if I got you pissed off...I know you were trying to send me signals that you wanted it that way...just didn't know what to do."

"Doesn't matter now," Jack told him, nuzzling his ear. "We'll sort this out, I promise." They stood there for a while, enjoying the early morning sun shining through the window. Eventually they moved, heading off to work where they would try not to think about each other too much, but knowing they wouldn't be successful. Now that their plans for tonight were laid out, both of them were looking forward to what the evening and night would hold for them.

* * *

That night, Ennis and Jack went out to a movie and dinner, as planned. Ennis was relieved to hear that Jack was certain that everything would be alright. He'd wanted to be inside Jack for a while now, but had feared hurting Jack. He knew what it would do to their relationship if Jack became scared of him; they would break up and that would be that. He was terrified of losing Jack, so he was glad that Jack had brought it up.

When they were finished with work, they went back to their respective apartments to change and for Jack to pack an overnight bag, since he would be spending the night at Ennis's. He was looking forward to their night together.

He stood outside his apartment building, shivering a little as he waited for Ennis to pick him up. The familiar car rounded the corner and he grinned, anticipation running through him.

"Evening," he said with a grin, leaning down to look into the car. Ennis smiled and opened the door, looking over Jack appreciatively

"Come on, darlin'." Jack got in and threw his bag to the back seat, kissing Ennis's cheek.

"Looking forward to tonight, bud?" he asked, and Ennis took his hand, playing with Jack's fingers.

"Sure am. Nervous, though." Jack nodded.

"I know. But just remember, Ennis...I love you and trust you completely. It'll be okay." He sighed, smiling. "Right...we ready to go?" Ennis nodded and put the car into gear, heading for downtown. They were headed for their favourite Italian place, Ennis wanting this night to be romantic.

At the restaurant, they ate pasta and breadsticks, watching the other patrons with interest and talking. Music was being played in a corner and the lights were a little dim, casting a romantic glow over them. Jack smiled at Ennis as they ate, and felt his heart soar with love as he looked at his lover. He wasn't really mad at Ennis for always taking things in a different direction whenever he'd tried to take them the way he wanted. Ennis had only been thinking of his well-being, as usual, and Jack couldn't really fault him for that.

As they were eating, a thought occurred to Jack. "Hey, bud?"

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking...what are we doing for Thanksgiving? It's only a month away..."

Ennis chewed thoughtfully. "Don't know. I normally go back up to my parents' place, but I don't think that'll happen this year. What about you?"

"I've always been on my own," Jack sighed, thinking about the last five years he'd spent alone. "Always had turkey sandwiches and red wine. Sitting on the sofa watching the football." He shook his head and Ennis took his hand.

"Darlin'...you don't have to do that this year. We could have us a proper dinner together. Or...maybe even go to my uncle's place in Wyoming; my aunt makes a great Thanksgiving dinner."

Jack smiled. "You think it'd be okay?" he asked. Ennis shrugged.

"Don't see why not. I've never heard them say anything bad about gay people; they know I'm gay."

"I mean about the you-know-what," Jack replied. Ennis licked his lower lip, unsure of what his aunt and uncle's reaction might be; he hoped that it wouldn't be like his parents'.

"I'd have to ask them. I don't want another scene like at my parents' place. So if I call them, I'd have to tell them right then."

Jack nodded. "Alright. How are you related, anyway? Whose brother is he?"

"My dad's. But he's not like him. A lot calmer about things. All I can do is ask him." He looked into Jack's eyes. "But if he doesn't like you coming over there with me, we'll have dinner here. Maybe invite the girls, too, if they don't have any other plans. Whatever you want, darlin'." Jack smiled.

"That sounds great, Ennis. So...you can ask your uncle. But if he says no, then we'll just do Thanksgiving here." This decided, they returned to their food and started talking about what they might do over the weekend. There was a soccer game on TV on Sunday that Jack wanted to see, so that was one day sorted.

As for Saturday, Jack was hoping they would have a late morning following tonight; maybe they could lie in bed for a while and talk until it was time to make breakfast. Jack liked lying in bed with Ennis and talking. It showed that they weren't just lovers; they were good friends, too. Lureen would always have a place in his heart as the person who had always looked after him during the first few years after the attack, but Ennis was without a doubt his best friend now. He meant everything to Jack.

After dinner, they went to the movie theatre and settled at the back. Their attention was on the movie for a while until they grew bored with it, choosing to make out instead. Jack was still in his seat but pressed up against Ennis, tongue in his mouth and hand rubbing his leg. Ennis enjoyed the feeling very much and ran his hand up and down Jack's back.

"Mmm..." Jack purred as he finally pulled his lips away. "Love kissing you..." Ennis smiled.

"The feeling's mutual," he replied, nuzzling their noses together. The movie ended and they stretched. "You ready to go?"

"Yep. Are we, um...we still on for...you know...?" Jack asked, looking hopeful. Ennis took a deep breath and nodded, looking at Jack apprehensively.

"Uh huh. I'm really nervous, Jack..."

"I know," Jack said softly, touching his cheek. "But it'll be okay...we'll work it out. Come on, let's get out of here." They stood up and headed out into the lobby, hand in hand.

They walked down the street towards the parking lot, kissing in the shadows of buildings. Jack felt Ennis up a few more times before they got to the car, eventually getting there and heading back to Ennis's place, looking forward to their night together.

* * *

They arrived back at Ennis's place and were strangely silent as they walked in. It felt as though they were working towards breaking down the final barrier in their relationship, and both were contemplating how it would be done.

Ennis got them both a glass of wine and they sat down on the sofa, half-facing each other. Jack looked very tantalising, with his wine-stained lips and glowing skin, and Ennis couldn't help but feel aroused by the very sight. He put his glass down and gave Jack the familiar look. Jack understood immediately and put his own glass down, licking his lower lip. They moved closer and kissed, lips pressing softly together. It almost felt as though this was their first time ever, the way they were silent and taking things slowly.

A hand came up to tangle in Ennis's curls and he moaned softly, pressing closer to Jack. They kissed for several long moments and then broke away.

"You wanna?" Jack whispered, trailing his fingers down Ennis's chest to his groin. Ennis swallowed.

"Yeah..." Jack took his hand and led him over to the bedroom. The door closed behind them and they kissed again, Jack cupping Ennis's face as Ennis undressed them both, throwing shirts to a random corner and kicking off shoes. He manoeuvred Jack until his legs hit the bed, and he sat down. They removed their jeans while never breaking eye contact, images of what was to come flashing before their eyes.

When they were naked, Ennis straddled Jack and they crawled up the bed, kissing once more. They got to the pillows and Jack settled back, staring up into Ennis's eyes. He spread his legs, hoping that Ennis would do it this time.

"All yours," he breathed, hands back in Ennis's curls. Ennis swallowed and kissed him desperately, willing his heart rate to slow down to normal. Jack passed him a condom and the lubricant, and he reared up onto his knees, remembering the motions that Jack went through when it was him doing this. He got himself prepared and made to put some lube on his fingers, but Jack stopped him. "You don't need to do that, it's fine."

Ennis's brow furrowed. "But...I thought you said it was to relax the muscles back there. Why...?" Jack's eyes lowered.

"Because I'm not exactly a virgin," he reminded Ennis in a low voice, and Ennis could have kicked himself.

"Shit...sorry, bud. Are you okay?" Jack nodded, the dark moment passing.

"I'm fine. Just go ahead."

"Alright..." Ennis pulled Jack's legs up and around his waist, heart hammering. He moved as close to Jack as he could get, and with encouragement flowing from Jack's eyes, started to push. Jack bit his lip, reminding himself that it was Ennis, who loved him and cared about him. Being able to see Ennis certainly helped, and any bad memories that were floating around his brain at the feeling of being penetrated were pushed to the back, almost as if Ennis himself was pushing them away.

When Ennis was fully inside him, he panted a little and looked down into Jack's eyes. "You alright?" he asked, full of concern for the man beneath him. Jack was warm and welcoming, and the feeling was incredible.

Jack nodded, smiling. He felt complete at long last, as if they truly had been meant to end up together. This was where they were supposed to be. "I'm fine, baby..." His arms came up around Ennis's neck and pulled him down so that their chests were pressed together. Ennis began to slowly move into Jack, nervously at first as he explored this new territory. Jack could feel that Ennis was getting used to what he'd found, and the thrusts that he made as a result were making his head spin. "Oh...God..."

"Feel good?" Ennis murmured, nuzzling Jack's neck and finding his confidence, putting all his weight on his knees and thrusting properly, in and out as Jack moaned an affirmative response.

"Fuck me," Jack breathed into his ear, eyes screwed shut with pleasure as he felt unnameable sensations rippling through him, unable to think clearly. "Oh God, Ennis..."

"Love you," Ennis choked out, almost blinded with the pleasure he felt at the tightness around him and how Jack's muscles were moving inside him. It felt like nothing else he'd ever experienced, not even with a girl. Remembering that he was supposed to be looking for the prostate, he changed his angle, eliciting another moan from Jack.

"Oh my God!" he groaned when Ennis found it. He'd never been touched _there_ before, and he felt as if his head was about to split open (which head, he wasn't sure). "Ennis!"

Ennis planted his lips on Jack's, searching for his tongue and drawing it to his. He pushed in deeper and faster, and could feel Jack shaking all over. A few more thrusts and he felt Jack shoot in between them, warm and sticky. He groaned into Jack's neck and felt himself cross the finish line, collapsing onto Jack and breathing heavily.

They laid there for several moments, unable to speak. Without a doubt, that had been one of their best times, and Ennis was proud of his achievement in finally having the confidence to do it. Jack was thoroughly pleased with the results. They eventually moved, Ennis removing the rubber and cleaning them both up before they crawled under the quilt. Jack moved into his arms and sighed contentedly.

"You alright, darlin'?" Ennis asked softly, stroking his face. Jack smiled at him.

"I'm on cloud nine, bud. Thank you..." He didn't know if he would ever have the words to tell Ennis what this meant to him. Ennis had effectively erased all his fears of penetration, showing him how wonderful it could be and how he could feel. Jack would be eternally grateful for this. "Thank you so much..."

Ennis seemed to understand why Jack was thanking him, even though he wasn't capable of saying. He smiled back and kissed Jack one more time before they settled down together, sleep taking them swiftly.

* * *

_October 27th, 2009_

The next few days were passing slowly, and nothing much changed in their lives. Ennis always had stories from work to tell, and Jack was always happy to hear them. They were unconsciously starting to make plans; the first one on the horizon was Thanksgiving, wherever they would be spending it. Ennis hoped to be able to take Jack to his uncle's ranch, but he wasn't sure if it would be possible. He would need to talk to his uncle at some point, and tell him exactly how it was with Jack. Hopefully things would be okay.

He hadn't spoken to his parents since the disastrous dinner at their house. It had been just over three weeks, and it was the longest he'd gone without speaking to them. But it had to be like this; they had been downright nasty to Jack and even implored Ennis to break up with him. He still couldn't believe they'd been like that; he had expected them to take the news badly, with them being his parents, but he hadn't expected that. But he tried not to think about it as he went about his day, spending time with Jack in the mornings and evenings, before going to bed and then getting up the next day to do it all again.

After speaking with Jack, they had discovered that they both had two weeks off over Christmas and New Year's, beginning and ending at the same time. They hadn't yet decided what to do with this time, but Ennis knew he wanted them to do something special; maybe take a trip somewhere. That would be good.

He walked into his kitchen that evening to see Jack making them dinner, the aroma of roasted chicken filling the air. "Hey, that sure smells good. What you making?"

Jack turned and smiled at him, blushing a little when Ennis kissed his cheek. "Chicken salad. Everything's just about done; could you set the table?" Ennis nodded and did so, liking how it felt to have Jack in his kitchen, like he was part of the fixtures. Jack carved the chicken and started putting strips on their plates, licking his fingers of the grease and making appreciative sounds. Ennis couldn't help but smile. Jack brought the plates over and cleaned up as best he could. They settled into their seats, glancing at each other; for the past couple of weeks, they'd taken to lighting a candle during their dinners together. It was a small touch of romance that both liked very much. Ennis especially liked how it made Jack's eyes glow softly at him. Ever since he'd been on top for the first time, Ennis felt as if yet another corner had been turned for them, bringing them closer together than ever.

"So," he began, looking down and starting to eat. "We gonna decide what we're doing during those weeks off?" Jack shrugged.

"Don't know. Don't think we're gonna get to your parents, huh?" he replied, looking up at Ennis.

"Probably not. And we're hoping to get to my uncle's place for Thanksgiving. So...maybe we could spend Christmas and New Year's alone, just the two of us."

Jack smiled. "That sounds good." Then he grinned wickedly. "Maybe you'll find me under your tree, naked with a big red bow." Ennis went bright red.

"Jesus, Jack..." He shifted, trying to ease the ache in his crotch. "Don't do that when I'm trying to eat..." Jack looked at him innocently.

"Do what? Don't know what you mean. Tell you what...I'll let you eat me later...got something big, hard and cream-filled, just for you." Ennis shifted even more and shook his head. Jack was about to continue, when his phone rang. "It's my mom," he said, flipping it open.

"Can't believe you're gonna talk to your mother with that mouth," Ennis muttered, picking at his lettuce. Jack stuck his tongue out and put the phone to his ear.

"Hey, mom."

"Hi, sweetie. How's it going?"

"Alright. We're just having dinner. What's up?"

"Well, I was thinking...you know those two weeks you have off over Christmas and New Year's?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I was wondering if..." She left her sentence hanging, knowing that Jack would pick up on what she was asking. He looked up at Ennis, thinking. Despite his fears of being anywhere near Central Park, he thought that maybe it would be okay if Ennis was there with him. Ennis would stay by him and reassure him that it was okay; he knew that now. Ever since Ennis had topped him for the first time, Jack felt safer than he had ever been, if only in Ennis's arms. He could trust Ennis to take care of him.

"I'd like to see you, mom. Maybe...we could come over. Could you just give me a sec, so I can ask Ennis?"

"Sure." He tucked the phone under his chin.

"What do you think? New York for those two weeks we have off? Or at least one of them?"

Ennis nodded, wondering why Jack was having this change of heart so soon. "Sure, sounds good." Jack smiled and reached for his hand.

"Okay, mom. We'll come over for at least one of those weeks, maybe both if we don't have any other plans."

"That's wonderful!" she replied, and he could hear the smile in her voice. "Don't worry about your dad; I'll meet you in the city if I have to. And...Jack? Are you sure you'll be okay to be near the park?"

Jack squeezed Ennis's hand. "I'll be fine, mom. I'll have Ennis with me." The way he said it, and the way he looked into Ennis's eyes, made it sound so simple, and maybe it was. If Ennis was there with him, Jack was certain that everything would be alright. "So...I'll call you nearer the time, then."

"Sure thing, honey. Can't wait to see you. Bye."

"Bye, mom." They hung up and Jack smiled across at Ennis, who laced their fingers together. Neither of them spoke; didn't need to.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_November 1st, 2009_

The weather was turning colder, and Ennis and Jack spent many a morning snuggled up in bed together for as long as possible, warming each other with their body heat. They both bought thicker quilts for their beds and had taken to filling up hot water bottles, putting them underneath the quilts at the end for their feet.

The two of them still went for the occasional walk in the park, but they weren't out as long these days, wanting to stay warm as long as they could. They had ultimately decided to go to New York for both weeks of their vacation, returning on the Sunday before they were due back at work. Jack was still a little nervous about going back, but he tried to focus on the fact that Ennis would be with him, and nothing would happen to him as long as they stuck together.

Jack had been at the gym for a few hours, and he shivered as he walked along the street to Ennis's building, wondering what Ennis was making them for dinner. He hadn't shown any interest in going to the gym, said he didn't really like going there, which was okay. They couldn't be completely the same, after all. And Jack didn't really enjoy working out, either, but knew that he had to in order to keep his body muscle built up.

He ran up the stairs to Ennis's floor and along the hall, knocking on the door. After a few moments, the door was opened by the man who had taken up a considerable residence in his heart, and he grinned. "Hey, bud."

"Hey, darlin'," Ennis replied, opening the door wider and greeting Jack with a kiss as he walked in, still shivering. "Cold out there?"

"Freezing," he replied, rubbing his hands together. "Everything okay?"

"Yep. You wanna take a shower before dinner?" Ennis asked, running his hands up and down Jack's arms and feeling how cold he was. He was concerned about Jack's health in this temperature. Jack nodded.

"Yeah, but first..." He leaned in close and was wrapped up in those strong arms, tongue darting out to part Ennis's willing lips. "Mmm..."

Ennis kissed him back, trying to get him warm. When they broke away, Jack was grinning. "Ready for a shower now?" Ennis asked, stroking his cheek.

"Wanna join me?" Jack asked slyly, trailing a finger down Ennis's chest. The offer was very tempting, but dinner was in the oven and he knew he needed to keep an eye on it. God knows how long they would be if they took a shower together.

"You know I would, darlin', but...the dinner..." His deep brown eyes were apologetic. "Sure wish I could." Jack nodded, a little disappointed but understanding. To make up for it, Ennis kissed his cheek and whispered, "Tell you what...you be a good boy and eat all your food, and I'll tell you about a little game we can play called 'rodeo'. How's that?"

Jack's eyes widened and he pulled himself away, practically sprinting for the shower. Ennis smiled to himself and went to check on dinner.

Twenty minutes later, the two of them were sitting down to steaming bowls of stew, perfect food for this weather. Jack was freshly showered and feeling a great deal better than he had been, appreciative of Ennis taking care of things like this. He'd liked the feeling of coming home to Ennis (even if it wasn't his apartment) and thought he could get used to it. He had a feeling that the possibility of living together was on their horizon, but they didn't need to talk about that yet. In spite of everything they'd been through, they'd still only been together for about three months. Their relationship was technically still in its early stages.

"Mmm, this is really good," Jack said appreciatively around a mouthful of bread soaked in the stew. "You're a good cook, bud."

Ennis smiled. "Thanks...figured you'd be cold, so I thought something like this would be good." Jack's heart swelled at this admission of Ennis once again putting him first. He liked being taken care of this way, and had told Ennis so a number of times.

"It sure is." They fell silent, thinking about various things. Jack was thinking about their upcoming trip to New York. The last time he was there had only been a few months ago, but it felt like a lot longer. He knew that this feeling was mostly because of his relationship with Ennis and how it had taken off so quickly, making the weeks fly by. His mother would like Ennis, no doubt, and he wanted them to meet.

His father was another story. Jack knew that he wouldn't have to go anywhere near him if he didn't want to, for his mother would meet them in the city. But a part of Jack wanted Ennis to see where he'd grown up, and the house he'd lived in before going off to college. Maybe they could sneak over when his father was at work.

Jack mentally shook himself and focused on the present, where Ennis was talking about something Alma had said about her parents.

"So I told her it was nothing to worry about, that's it's just how things go, but I don't know if she believes me," he said, not noticing that Jack wasn't listening. He looked up. "Bud?"

"Uh...what?" he asked, feeling lost. Ennis's brow furrowed.

"What's wrong?" Jack sighed.

"Just thinking about my dad...whether or not we might have to sneak over to the house when he's at work." Ennis took his hand.

"Darlin'...it'll be okay. Whatever you want to do, about either of them, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Jack looked into those warm, caring eyes and swallowed, hearing the unwavering support in Ennis's voice. He blinked a few times and nodded. Ennis lifted his hand and kissed it, determined to support Jack in whatever decision he made regarding his parents.

* * *

After dinner, they retired to the living room for a while to watch TV, Jack curling up against Ennis and sighing contentedly. He was beginning to feel better about the forthcoming trip to New York, knowing that Ennis would be by his side through all of it. Now they could start to make plans, like which restaurants they would go to, which parts of the city they would explore, and whether they might make the time to see a show or something. Maybe they would go to Times Square on New Year's Eve and celebrate with the throng of people that always gathered there.

When they grew bored with the TV, it was switched off and Jack gave Ennis a look. "So...about that cowboy game you mentioned..." Ennis smiled; trust Jack to remember and already have visions in his head. There was no doubt about it; Jack loved having sex with him. The thought warmed his insides.

"Uh, yeah...riding on a horse all day at the ranch...ideas come to you." He flicked his eyes to the bedroom. "You wanna go try it?" Jack nodded and they got up, half-running for the bed and eager to get onto it.

"So..." Jack said in between kisses as they started to strip off. "How do we do this rodeo thing?" He was breathing a little heavily in anticipation.

"Mmm..." Ennis replied, throwing their shirts to the floor. "Well, one of us gets on our back, and the other rides us. Like bull riding in a rodeo. And you have to stay on for at least eight seconds."

"Uh huh," Jack murmured, pushing Ennis down onto the bed and straddling him. "So who's being what? I reckon you should be the bull." He nuzzled into Ennis's neck. "I'd love to ride you, big boy." Ennis lay backwards, pulling Jack on top of him and drawing a laugh out of him. "Hmm..."

They kicked their jeans off and crawled up the bed, kissing and rubbing together. When they were ready, Jack pulled a condom out and put it on Ennis, and then coated it with lubricant. He got into position, eyes glittering. "Like this?"

"Yeah..." Ennis breathed, eyes sliding shut as Jack's muscles surrounded him. "Oh..." Jack settled himself down and laced their fingers together, eyes on Ennis.

"So what do we do now?" Jack asked teasingly, loving how he was driving Ennis crazy. He sure did love it when they got like this.

The deep brown eyes opened. "You have to stay on for eight seconds, and I have to try and buck you off." He smiled. "But we don't have to do that part." Jack nodded. He didn't like the idea of being bucked off, and he was glad that Ennis didn't want to do that.

"Alright..." He began to move, up and down as if he was trying to stay on a bull. Ennis thrust up into him, picking up the pace as it went on. He wasn't really trying to buck Jack off; he liked the feeling of being inside him too much. They moved together, well past the eight second mark and Jack shot in between them, groaning loudly. Ennis followed suit and Jack collapsed onto him, sighing. "Mmm...that was good..."

"Sure was, darlin'. You alright?" Jack rose up and Ennis slipped out of him, a drowsy smile on his face, clearly still drunk on love.

"Yeah. Be right back." He pulled the condom off Ennis and staggered from the bed, a little bowlegged. Ennis couldn't help but smirk at the sight. He no longer feared that he was hurting Jack by fucking him; Jack had reassured him that he loved it. He just had to try and believe that.

Jack came back and clambered over him again, kissing his neck. "That was something else, Ennis. It was a great idea." Ennis smiled up at him. He'd loved it too.

"Thanks, darlin'." They kissed slowly and leisurely, Ennis's arms coming up to wind around Jack's neck. Jack nuzzled his nose into Ennis's hair above his ear, liking the scent from the aftermath of their lovemaking. "Love you, Jack...love you so much."

"I love you too," Jack whispered back, kissing Ennis gently on the lips. He laid himself fully on top of Ennis, quietly nuzzling each other in the half-darkness. After a while, Jack moved off him and they dropped off, both of them warm and sleepy.

Ennis awoke a little later to the sounds of shifting around, and he looked over to see Jack moving, clearly unable to settle. "Bud?" Jack looked over at him. "What's wrong? Can't sleep?"

Jack sighed. "No...I'm restless. Can't stop thinking about what might happen when we get to New York. How am I gonna be when we get near the park? Will I even be able to walk through it?" His eyes were large and imploring. "I don't know..." Ennis rolled over to face him, running a hand along his arm. He didn't really know what to say to Jack, and he wasn't too sure how to provide the comfort that Jack needed.

He shuffled closer. "Baby..." Jack smiled a little at the endearment. "Don't worry, okay? It'll be alright. I'll be there, you know that. Be right there with you..."

Jack nodded. "I know. Thanks, Ennis. I just wanna say...you make me really happy. So much..." He swallowed. "I love you."

"I love you too," Ennis replied, trying to inject some kind of comfort in his words. "We're gonna be alright, I promise." He moved forward and kissed Jack once more, before nudging his shoulder. "Turn over." Jack did so and Ennis spooned up behind him, one arm around Jack's waist and holding him tightly. He kissed the back of Jack's neck. "There anything I can say, or do...?"

Jack sighed. "Not really, except what you're already doing. This is just fine, Ennis." He closed his eyes and settled down, feeling safe and protected. Ennis closed his own eyes and rubbed Jack's stomach until he fell asleep.

* * *

_November 6th, 2009_

It was a Friday and Jack had just come back from his lunch break, having spent some time with Ennis and picked up a new subscription of his meds. He went to put them in his locker, wary of any prying eyes that might be around. His co-workers knew he was gay but he didn't really want them finding out about this. He didn't know that he was being watched by a co-worker named Darren, who had never liked him for all the attention the girls gave him.

Darren had been relieved to find out that Jack was gay, especially so when the girls stopped hounding him. But there was something about Jack he wasn't sure about. He was a little secretive and when Darren saw him smuggling a white bag into his locker, he hovered where Jack couldn't see him.

"Damn," Jack cursed as a box fell out of the bag, picking it back up and putting it into the bag, stuffing it in his locker in case anybody came by. Darren saw the name on the box; Videx. He knew it was a HIV medication and his mind whirred. Jack was positive.

He watched Jack working for another hour, curious as to why he hadn't said anything. He personally thought that Jack had a nerve being around clean people. Jumping to conclusions, Darren thought that Jack was promiscuous, which fit every stereotype he'd heard of gay men who lived in the city. He felt anger bubbling up inside him as he watched Jack happily chatting away to the girls. _How dare he, _a voice whispered in his mind. _He's got no right..._

When Jack went into the storeroom, he followed and closed the door a little so they didn't have any witnesses. "Jack."

Jack turned around and looked surprised. "Darren? What's up?" Darren gave him a look of pure hatred; the way the girls fawned over him in spite of what he was. _How would they react if they knew? _"Darren?"

"I know," he spat out. "I know about you." Jack raised his eyebrows, not yet concerned.

"What, that I'm gay? Everybody here knows that." Darren clenched his fists.

"Not that. You dare to come out here amongst decent people...and everybody still fawns over you." He was shaking with anger.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about," Jack replied, genuinely confused.

"I saw what you were putting in your locker...I saw that box fall out." Jack felt his heart rate increase. "It was HIV medication, wasn't it? You've got AIDS."

Jack kept his temper in check. "I don't have AIDS, I'm HIV positive. There's a difference."

"Whatever. You've got a damn nerve being around here, where there's normal people. So how many guys did you have to do it with to get it? I know about your type; you'll fuck anything that moves."

Jack's mouth fell open. "What the hell? You think I've been sleeping around? You can catch it without doing that, you know. And it's none of your business anyway."

Darren was nearly growling. "Damn well is. The way the girls give you those puppy dog eyes...makes me sick. How would they feel if they knew the truth?" Jack felt himself panicking.

"You don't have to tell anyone. It's not like they can catch it by just touching me on the arm or something. Besides, I'm seeing someone. I'm not about to mess around on him." Darren shook his head.

"Goddamn queer," he spat. "They deserve to know what you are. You've got no right being here." He made to turn and walk back out.

"Darren, please," Jack called after him, terrified of what might happen now. "Please don't tell anyone. It's my business and I don't want them knowing." Darren turned and looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"We'll see." He turned back and left the storeroom, returning to work. He wasn't going to tell anybody yet, but he would bide his time. He just knew that he couldn't watch Jack being happy for much longer. Ire rose in him every time he saw someone being friendly to Jack.

Jack leaned against the shelf, reeling in shock. This was the last thing he'd expected today, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't think that Darren would expose him right away, but it might only be a matter of time. Would his co-workers really want to get rid of him if they knew? It wasn't as if he was going to infect any of them. He was very happy with Ennis and wasn't about to go fooling around, with a man or a woman. It seemed as though Darren was jealous of the attention the girls gave him, even though it was purely platonic and they no longer had any ulterior motives.

He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down. There were still a few hours to go until he could get out of here and take sanctuary in Ennis's arms, and he would just have to live with that. He grabbed the cell phone that he'd come in for and headed back out to his customer, knowing that Darren was watching him. For the rest of the day, he tried to keep himself at a distance, hoping not to disturb this very delicate balance right now. At any moment, Darren could decide enough was enough, and announce it to the entire store, maybe even over the loudspeaker. That would make him wish for the ground to open and swallow him whole.

Jack contemplated leaving the job, while he still could, but he didn't have any other options right now. He needed the money and didn't want to leave unless he was absolutely sure that it was for a good reason. He knew he had to talk to Ennis about this, and get his opinion on what to do. Ennis would know for sure, or at least he hoped so, because he didn't.

* * *

Ennis was worried about Jack; he'd left a message on his cell asking him to meet him at his place as soon as possible. So here he was, hurrying along the street to Jack's building, wondering what on earth had happened in the few hours since he'd last seen him.

Jack was pacing in his place. He'd been unable to focus on work after his encounter with Darren, and had begged off the rest of the afternoon, telling his boss that he was feeling unwell. Since he was a good worker, his boss had bought it and let him go. He needed to talk to Ennis soon.

He jumped when he heard a knock on the door. "Jack?" He rushed over and opened it up, relieved to see Ennis. "What's wrong?" he asked as Jack led the way inside.

Jack folded his arms. "Someone at work knows I'm positive." Ennis's eyes widened.

"Shit...are you alright?" he asked, coming closer. Jack shook his head.

"No, I'm panicking...what if he tells the others? Being gay is one thing, but...having this..." His breath was starting to come out in short gasps, his eyes wide and fearful. "What if I have to quit my job? And what if other people find out and I can't get another one? I'll run out of money...won't have insurance...and I need the meds..." He couldn't breathe, and Ennis walked up to him.

"Jack, calm down," he said, concern filling him up. "Come on...if you don't calm down you'll have a panic attack..." He felt Jack trembling and went into the kitchen, where he knew Jack kept some paper bags. He brought one back and held it to Jack's mouth. "Breathe into that, darlin'..." Ennis led Jack to the sofa and lay him down on his back, straddling him and looking down at him intently. "Breathe..."

Jack took several deep breaths, looking up into Ennis's calming face, the deep brown eyes full of concern for him. When he was calmer, he drew the bag away from his face. Ennis touched his cheeks. "You ready to tell me now?" Jack nodded.

"Yeah. It's this guy called Darren. He's been there longer than me. You know how I had to get some more meds today? Well, I didn't get chance to bring them home before I had to go back to work...so I put them in my locker. The Videx dropped out and he saw it; must already know what it's for."

"Then what?" Ennis asked calmly, now rubbing Jack's stomach.

"He cornered me in the storeroom...told me he knew. Saying stuff about how it wasn't right; people being nice to me when I have this thing. Called me a goddamn queer. Said...that I didn't deserve to be out around clean people..." His head fell back to the arm and he closed his eyes. "Shit..."

"Is he gonna tell everybody?" Ennis asked. Jack shrugged.

"I don't think so, at least not yet. But the threat's there...what if he does? He said...how he hated the girls fawning over me, even though they all know I'm not interested. Sure, I'm friendly with them, but we're all just friends."

Ennis nodded. "Sounds to me like he's jealous. Is he good-looking?"

"I guess...why?"

"Maybe...before you came along...the girls used to fawn over him, and now he's jealous. So now he has a way of getting back at you." He ran his hands through Jack's hair. "You see?"

"So what am I gonna do?" Jack asked, looking tired and worried. Ennis thought for a moment.

"Well...you're not gonna panic, for one. This guy...he's just jealous and a bully. He's not worth worrying over. And don't worry about your job, or money. I've got money, and I'd be more than happy to cover things like the meds until you get another job."

"I don't wanna live off you, take advantage of you..." Jack sighed. "That's not right."

"I'd be happy to do it, darlin'. Let's just see where things go, alright? Don't worry just yet." He leaned down and brushed his nose against Jack's, looking into his eyes. "I'll take care of you, I swear..."

Jack gulped and could feel prickling in his eyes. Ennis saw it and lay down on top of him, covering him with his warmth. He nuzzled into Jack's neck and felt his trembling subside, calming down at last.

"I love you, Ennis...sure am glad I've got you on my side." Ennis kissed the side of his face.

"I'm always gonna be here for you, Jack," he promised. He then rose up and looked around the apartment. "Okay...you want some dinner?"

"God, yeah," Jack replied, rubbing his face. "What's in the kitchen?"

"I'll find something," Ennis told him, kissing his cheek and getting up off the sofa. Jack sighed to himself and then looked over to his backpack, lying near the door where he'd dropped it as soon as he'd walked in and forgotten all about it. He got up and went into it, extracting the bag of medication boxes and heading into the bathroom to put them away.

Ennis found some tomato soup for them both, and put plenty of bread on the table; he figured that Jack would want something hot and simple after the afternoon he'd just had. Jack walked in, sniffing with interest and went straight into Ennis's arms, now smiling. "Thanks for taking care of me," he said softly, and Ennis kissed him.

"It's okay, bud. Just as long as you're not panicking anymore..."

"I'm fine," Jack reassured him. "Whatever Darren decides to do...I'll just have to deal with it."

"We will," Ennis corrected him gently, taking his hand and leading him to the table. Jack nodded and they sat down, looking forward to a hot meal.

"Yeah." They settled down to dinner, Jack eating ravenously. Ennis was pleased to see that he was alright now, and vowed to himself that no matter what Jack's co-worker might do, he would be right there by Jack's side to help him through it.

* * *

It was now Sunday evening, and the two of them were out at their favourite Chinese place. They didn't normally go out on a Sunday, but they were determined to have at least one date night a week.

The weekend had been uneventful. Jack had been a little on the quiet side and even though Ennis knew why, he wished that he could get Jack to stop worrying. It wouldn't do him any good; it sounded as though nothing could change Darren's mind if he decided to expose Jack's HIV status to their workmates. Ennis doubted that it would have any effect on Jack's ability to get another job.

Still, as he looked over at Jack, playing with his food distractedly, Ennis couldn't help but feel sorry for him, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap Jack up in his arms and tell him that everything would be alright. He'd done his best on Friday night, slowly making love to Jack and kissing everywhere he could reach. Jack was very responsive and seemed alright after that, but had spent yesterday and today in a funk, worrying about what might happen.

He sighed and covered Jack's hand with his own, making him jump a little. "Easy, bud...you alright?" Jack sighed and put his chopsticks down.

"No...can't stop thinking about what Darren might do. I'm gonna be so nervous around him and won't be able to concentrate; I'll probably get fired anyway."

"Jack..." Ennis said slowly, thinking. "Have you thought about quitting your job? Leaving on your terms before the shit hits the fan?"

Jack was silent as he thought this over. He had considered this, and Ennis was right; maybe it would be better for him to leave now, or soon, before Darren could do any damage. But he was concerned about money, and what might happen if he couldn't find another job soon. No matter how bored he was in the job and how scared he was of what might happen, the job and the money was stable and gave him security.

He sighed. "I don't know, bud. I've thought about it, but...I can't just up and leave; I need the money."

"I know, darlin'," Ennis replied, squeezing his hand. "The offer still stands, you know...to support you if you do lose your job or leave. Whatever you need." Jack managed a small smile.

"Thanks...I appreciate it, but...I don't like living off people." Ennis nodded.

"So what are you gonna do if he tells people and they want you to leave?" he asked, running his thumb over Jack's knuckles. Jack considered.

"I'll just have to go. But...they might not. Just because he's got it in for me doesn't mean they all do. And I'm sure the others are smart enough to know that they're not gonna get infected by just being near me."

"Right. You have to..." Ennis paused; he'd been about to say, _"You have to think positive,"_ but a part of him thought that this was too close to home. He cleared his throat. "You have to stay upbeat, Jack. When you told me you were positive, and we spent time talking about it...I noticed how you didn't let it get you down. You were so full of life and always had a smile on your face. What happened, bud? I've never seen you this miserable..."

Jack lowered his eyes. "Guess I spent so long pushing it to the back of my mind that...now all this is happening, everything's just spilling out all at once. I..." He looked up into Ennis's eyes. "I never went for therapy after the attack. Felt like I was weak for letting it happen. And...I ran away from New York, like a coward. I didn't have the guts to stay and work through it." Ennis took his other hand and looked into his eyes, heart yearning to make Jack feel better.

"Darlin'...you're not a coward. Lots of people run from things like this because the memories are just too painful. Besides, we're going back over Christmas...maybe while we're there, we could try something. Like a walk in the park, together." Jack was nodding. "And I'd be right there with you, showing you that...there's nothing to be afraid of. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time; that won't happen again."

"Okay," Jack managed, holding onto Ennis's hands tightly. "I'd feel safe if you were there."

"And maybe you should think about therapy," Ennis continued in a soft voice. "Talk about what happened, and how it makes you feel. I think it'd do you good."

"Would you come with me?" Jack asked, looking hopeful. "If I decide to do it...would you?"

Ennis gazed into his eyes, thinking. He'd never been particularly good at talking about feelings; it just seemed to come naturally when he was with Jack. But if sitting in on the therapy sessions would help, he was all for it.

"Alright," he replied, seeing Jack smile. "Yeah, if it'll help...I'll come along. When do you want to go?"

"Can we get Christmas and New Year's out of the way first? We've got that trip coming up." Ennis nodded and released his hands, pleased to note that Jack had some of his usual spirit back, and was eating properly now. He sighed in relief and returned to his own food, hoping that nothing bad was about to happen. He loved Jack so much and only wanted him to be happy and healthy.

After dinner, they went back to Jack's place and sat in front of the TV for a while with glasses of wine, Jack's head resting on Ennis's shoulder and body curled up against him. They then retired to the bedroom, where Jack lay on top of Ennis and slowly thrust into him, searching for reassurance which Ennis tried to give, moving beneath him and letting Jack take whatever he needed. When it was over, they smiled at each other and Jack burrowed into his arms, closing his eyes. Ennis followed a little later, thinking about tomorrow and what it might bring.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_November 16th, 2009_

For the past week, Jack had been on edge, extremely wary of Darren and his threat to expose his HIV status. Ennis had done his best to try and calm him every time he started worrying, and it had done some good. But Jack would never completely stop fearing his workmates shunning him.

He kept an eye on Darren, wondering what he was thinking and if he was plotting anything. He shook his head and tried to carry on with his work. A familiar voice made him turn around, and he smiled in relief, despite how worried he was right now.

"Hey, Jack."

"Oh, hey Alma. What's up?" She chewed her lip.

"Ennis told me about your co-worker...about his threat. Just wanted to see if you're okay."

"To be honest, I'm really on edge. I've got no idea when he's gonna snap and tell someone." She nodded and they started to talk.

Darren watched them, full of rage. He didn't think it fair that the girls fawned over Jack, who was gay and had something so dangerous inside him, not when he was around and completely clean. Something had to be done, and he looked around, locating the microphone they used for store announcements. He looked at it, and then back at Jack, who was laughing with Alma about something. His mind made up, he headed for it.

"So it's like I said to him," she started. "It doesn't matter how many times I tell my folks...they just want me and Ennis to get back together, like he can control being gay." She sighed

Jack nodded. "Yeah. My dad said the same thing to me...like I can control it."

Whatever Alma was going to say next was drowned out by Darren's voice coming over the loudspeaker.

"Good afternoon shoppers, this is staff member Darren Jones with a special announcement to make." Jack went white and his head whipped around to where Darren was stood with the microphone. "And my fellow staff ought to hear this one."

"What the hell...?"

"Ladies and gents, you probably know my co-worker, Jack Twist. Blue eyes, black hair, smile a mile wide. Perfect guy, right? Wrong." Darren looked at Jack, his eyes flashing maliciously.

"Oh, fuck..." Jack groaned, starting to panic.

"See, there's something about Jack that's missing from the rest of us. Last week, I saw something interesting. I saw Jack with a white bag, stuffing it into his locker. A box dropped out, and you know what it was? It was HIV medication."

Jack's head dropped to his hands and Alma put her hands over her mouth. "Oh my God..."

"That's right, folks. Jack's got HIV, told me so himself when I asked him. He's a queer, and he's got something nasty inside him. I've noticed that we have kids in here today; is this the kind of man you want around them? Really?"

The group of girls that Jack had befriended ran up to Darren as a group, pulling him away from the microphone and snarling at him, but the damage was done. The entire store had heard everything, and Jack was shaking. Alma looked at a loss as to what to do. The store manager, Charles, was now yelling at Darren and firing him on the spot, but Jack was hardly listening. People were beginning to stare at him. A few mothers were pulling their children out of the store, muttering angrily. Jack's world crashed down around him and he felt sick.

"Jack..." Alma said softly, touching his arm. "Don't worry, okay? That guy's out of here, it doesn't matter."

Charles had shown Darren the door and came over to Jack, sighing. "Jack, can I have a word with you?" He nodded and followed him into his office, leaving Alma to contemplate calling Ennis, even though he was at work.

They sat down and Charles sighed, looking at Jack. "I just want to say that I'm sorry you had to go through that, Jack. Rest assured that Darren won't be working here as long as I'm manager. Are you alright?"

Jack opened his mouth to speak, bile in his throat. "No...I saw people staring at me...there were women dragging their kids out of the store. They heard everything..."

"Jack...I have to ask...are you positive?" Jack hung his head, heart sinking as he felt the walls closing in on him.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Have been for five years. And I'm not promiscuous," he added vehemently.

"I never said you were," Charles replied, trying not to upset him. "But we have a problem. There were dozens of people in the store just now, who know you're positive. You must know what word of mouth can get like. If the rumours are spread, and it reflects badly on business..."

Jack bit his lip. "I know. You'd have to let me go..."

"I'm afraid so. You're a hell of a worker, Jack. But I have to make the business my priority. I'd be happy to give you a reference. But just for now, let's see how things go. I'll keep an eye on things, alright? You want to have the rest of the day off, with pay?"

Jack nodded. "Thanks." He was dismissed and left the room, hands over his mouth. When he came back out into the store, Alma was still there, talking to Jack's female co-workers. They all turned when they saw him.

"Jack, are you okay?" He shook his head and looked over at the girls warily. They didn't approach him, but they looked worried.

"I'm gonna go home...he's giving me the rest of the day off." Alma nodded.

"Alright. Grab your things and we'll go for a walk." He did so and followed her out, into the sunlight. He knew that Ennis was still at work, and he wanted nothing more than to go home with him and spend the next few hours in his arms, maybe even with Ennis inside him and telling him that everything was going to be alright.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at the vets', Ennis was busy working when he overheard a pair of women talking as they came through the door. He didn't particularly care for gossip.

"I can't believe that," said one of them, shaking her head. "It's a good job we got out of there; I sure won't be going back."

They approached the front desk, where they greeted the receptionist, Sarah; Ennis hadn't been aware that they were friends.

"Hey, you two," she said, smiling. "What's going on?"

"You won't believe what we just heard at the electrical store on the other side of the park," replied one of the women, leaning forward and lowering her voice in a conspiratorial way. "It's awful."

"What is it?"

"One of the guys working there, Jack Twist...he's HIV positive." Ennis felt his heart beating quicker, wondering how the hell they'd found out.

Sarah's eyes widened and she glanced at him. She knew that he was seeing someone named Jack Twist. "I can't believe it..."

"Yeah, one of his co-workers exposed him, over the loudspeaker for the store. Pointed out who he was and everything." Ennis felt his stomach drop; _Darren...that bastard..._

"Wow. So what happened?"

"The manager kicked Darren out, talked to Jack and let him have the rest of the day off, I heard. Jack didn't look so good; he left with a woman...some brunette who he was talking to."

_Alma..._Ennis longed to get away and find Jack, but he still had over another hour to go and he wasn't one for skiving. He couldn't help but worry and wonder if Jack was alright, and if he was contemplating leaving the job. Maybe it would be better for him, now that his co-workers all knew.

He thought to himself and then, when nobody was looking, slipped into the bathroom, hoping that he could get a signal. Though he couldn't get away, he could at least try to call Jack and make sure he was okay.

After flipping through the numbers and locating Jack's, he held the phone to his ear, crossing his fingers. "Come on, pick up..." There was no answer. He sighed in frustration and then called Alma; maybe she would still be with him.

"Ennis?"

"Alma, where's Jack? I heard about what Darren did...a couple of women who must've been there came into the vets', told the receptionist..."

She sighed. "Yeah, it was awful. Jack's right here..." She handed the phone over and he heard Jack's voice, praying that he was okay.

"Hey, bud," he tried, wondering how Jack would sound. He could read Jack's mood sometimes just from his tone of voice.

"Jack? Are you okay? I heard what Darren did..."

"I...I'll be okay," Jack replied, trying not to break down at the sound of Ennis's voice. "It was horrible, Ennis...like a nightmare." He sounded dejected and tired, and Ennis could feel his sorrow pouring down the phone.

"Oh, darlin'...I sure wish I could get away and be there for you..."

"It's alright...we'll see each other later, yeah?"

"'Course we will. I told you before...no matter what Darren does, and no matter how they react, I'll be here for you. I swear, Jack."

Jack drew in a shaky breath and nodded. "Thanks, Ennis...I love you..."

"I love you too...just keep it together, okay? I'll see you later at your place."

"Alright. Bye, bud..."

"Bye..." He reluctantly hung up, heart yearning for Jack and wondering how they would fix this. It was clear that Jack was still in shock, and Ennis hoped that he wasn't about to walk from his job. Darren had been fired, but it was too late; his co-workers and dozens of people knew everything; his full name, what he looked like and what he had. Jack was right; there was still so much stigma about HIV and AIDS these days, so it was no wonder that people had fled the store.

He left the bathroom; the two women had gone but Sarah was eyeing him. When he walked over to her, she sighed.

"You knew, didn't you? About Jack. You must do; he's your boyfriend." Ennis nodded.

"Yeah, I did. Known for a while now. Darren had no right to expose him like that; it's none of his business."

"No, but there are plenty of people who would make it their business, just to give Jack a hard time. Were you talking to him just now?"

"Yeah...he's in shock and I don't know what he's going to do," Ennis admitted. "He's with a friend, so he should be okay. But I'm worried about him...can't leave for another hour or so yet."

"I don't know what to say, Ennis...but I'm surprised you're still with him, knowing what he has...I mean, you could get infected, no matter how careful you are."

"I know. But...I love him. No matter what he has, he's still Jack. And we're really happy." She gave a half-smile.

"Hmm. But still...what's going to happen now?"

Ennis shook his head. "I don't know. He might have to quit his job if it gets too much or if they want him gone. If his workmates don't want him there, he'll probably walk away so he doesn't ruffle any feathers."

"He shouldn't have to give up his job just because some people might have a problem with him," she stated bluntly. He shrugged.

"Said something similar to me, right when we got together..." It was true; Jack had told him that if it ever got to a point where he couldn't handle being in this magnetic relationship they had, then he would allow Ennis to walk away with no hard feelings and no fuss. Ennis sincerely hoped that the day would never come; he couldn't imagine a life without Jack now that he had it.

He sighed and shook his head. "Better get back to work...sooner I get through this hour, the sooner I can be with him." He walked off with so many thoughts buzzing around his head, and absolutely no idea what to do.

* * *

At last, work was over, and after grabbing an overnight bag, Ennis half-ran through the park towards Jack's place, hoping that he was okay. Jack had been on his mind, even more so than usual.

He sprinted up the stairs and hurried along the hall, stopping in front of Jack's door and knocking. "Jack, it's me..." There were several footsteps and the door opened, revealing Jack. He looked tired and upset; there were tear tracks on his cheeks. "Oh, darlin'..."

Jack lowered his eyes, unable to speak, so Ennis let himself in, bringing Jack over to the sofa. They sat down and Ennis drew Jack close, rubbing his back and looking into his face. "Bud, talk to me..." He rubbed Jack's thigh. "Come on..." Jack sighed.

"I can't believe it...he told dozens of people. And they were all giving me a wide berth afterwards. Alma was the only one who would talk to me; the girls I work with were there, and they dragged Darren away from the microphone, but...they still didn't talk to me. What am I gonna do?"

Ennis touched Jack's face and turned it to his, making him meet his eyes. "It's gonna be alright. Even if you have to quit, you can find another job; it's gonna be okay..."

"You don't know that," Jack replied, looking and feeling like he'd hit rock bottom. Everything had come crashing down on him, and he could barely respond to Ennis right now. "You can't promise anything like that..."

"I know, I know...come here..." Ennis leaned back against the arm of the sofa and pulled Jack with him. Jack laid his head on Ennis's chest and put his feet up, rising and falling as Ennis breathed. They remained like that for a while, Ennis stroking Jack's hair and whispering to him.

After a while, Ennis tried again. "Bud...can you talk to me now? I wanna know what happened."

"Okay..." He sighed. "Alma came in and said she knew about what Darren was threatening. So we were talking, and he went for the microphone. Started talking to everybody in the store...pointed me out, what I look like and everything. Told them I'm positive, and asked them to think about whether they wanted to be around someone like me, especially with their kids. It was horrible..."

Ennis continued to stroke his back and hair, heart breaking at Jack's pain. All he'd ever wanted was for Jack to be happy, and he didn't know what to do. "Darlin'...I'm real sorry. What did your boss say?"

"He said that Darren was fired, and that he'd be keeping an eye on things. But...he also said that he has to put the business first, and that if he started losing customers because of me...he'd have to let me go." Ennis sighed.

"I'm sorry, Jack...come on, look at me." Jack turned and met his eyes, his own wide and fearful.

"What am I gonna do?" Ennis cupped his cheek.

"It's gonna be okay...I promise. I'll stand right by you, I swear." Jack gulped.

"Ennis...can we go for a walk? Maybe in the park?"

"Sure, bud. We'll get some dinner to walk around with...maybe fish and fries or something."

"Okay..." They got up and started readying themselves. Ennis got changed and Jack washed his face of the tear tracks. When they were ready, they headed out and to the fish shop down the road, getting themselves some dinner. Jack was looking a little better now he was out in the fresh air, and Ennis was relieved to see it.

They entered the park and sat down near the lake, eating and watching the other people walking around. A couple of people gave Jack second glances as they passed, some of them hurrying past or giving him dirty looks. All it took was a glare from Ennis, and they left him alone.

As they were eating, Jack began to speak. "Maybe I should quit...before the store starts losing business. It's not my boss's fault, so he shouldn't have to suffer for it."

Ennis nodded slowly. "What will you do? Where else can you work?"

"I don't know...maybe Lureen can get me a shift at the coffee place, or Alma at the bar...something."

"Have you got enough money to live off until you find another job?" Ennis asked, trying to be practical. "If you don't...my offer still stands. To help you out."

For once, Jack didn't refuse, but simply smiled at him sadly. "Thanks, bud." He squeezed Ennis's hand. "Anyway...I was gonna leave eventually anyway, once I'd saved up enough. So...I guess it's time to move on from there. I never really enjoyed it; it was just the first job I found when I got here, and I needed the money. So now I've got some, maybe it'll be okay to quit and find something else."

Ennis nodded. "Alright. If that's what you really want, Jack...you know I'll support you no matter what. I'm not going anywhere..."

Jack smiled properly at him, heart soaring with love at Ennis's unwavering love and devotion. He leaned over and kissed Ennis warmly, truly grateful to have him in his life.

They finished their dinner and had a walk through the park, around the lake and then back up to Jack's place, deciding to watch a movie and eat some cookies that Jack had bought. The pair of them settled on the sofa for a while, and then Ennis took Jack to bed, wanting to rid him of his pain.

He slowly slid into Jack and held him close, making love to him slowly and whispering to him that he loved him. Jack tried to relax as he moved underneath Ennis, arousal flowing through him and trembling as Ennis moved inside him. He knew that Ennis was trying to help him and push away his pain, and he appreciated it.

When it was over, Ennis rolled off him and pulled him close. "It's alright, darlin'...it's alright..."

Jack nodded, breathing deeply. "I know...I love you, Ennis..."

"Love you too..."

* * *

_November 20th, 2009_

Thanksgiving was in less than a week, and Ennis knew that if he and Jack were going to go for dinner at his uncle's ranch, they would have to get a move on with planning a flight.

He was stood in his kitchen on his cell, listening to the ringing as Jack devoured the remainder of the cookies, watching him warily.

"Del Mar Ranch," came the voice of his aunt. He cleared his throat.

"Hey, Aunt Rachel. It's Ennis."

"Ennis! Hey, how are you?"

"I'm okay. Listen, um...I wanted to ask you something. Is it okay if I come for dinner next Thursday?"

"Um..." She hesitated. "Ennis...we know about you and Jack."

He was taken aback at this. "You...you do?"

"Your father called here last month, an' told us everythin'. I'm sorry you had to go through that with them..."

"Oh...thank you. So...do you guys have a problem with it?" he asked, fearful of losing more family members.

"Heavens, no. As long as you boys are careful an' you ain't just messin' around, it's fine. I'm sure Jack's a lovely young man. The thing is...your parents are comin' for dinner on Thursday. I know you normally go to their place, an' since what happened at their house when you went up there...they figured you would be stayin' in the city for Thanksgivin'."

He sighed, looking over at Jack. "So...we can't come for dinner?" Jack looked down at his plate and lost his appetite.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie...we was lookin' forward to seein' you. An' we wanted to meet Jack. It's just...we don't want any fireworks durin' dinner, an' there will be if all of you come here."

"It's okay. We kind of figured there'd be a problem with us comin' over there. So we'll just have dinner here, then." Jack got up and put an arm around him, resting his head on Ennis's shoulder. "We'll be fine."

"Maybe you could come for Christmas," she suggested, and he shook his head, even though she couldn't see.

"We're planning to go to New York over the holidays, visit Jack's mom."

"Oh, okay...well, are you still comin' up durin' the summer?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, probably. But I want Jack to come with me. He says he wants to see the place."

"I think that'd be fine. Your uncle's here, do you wanna talk to him?"

"Sure." The phone changed hands on the other end and he could hear his uncle's voice.

"Ennis? Did your aunt tell you?"

"Yeah, she did. Don't worry, it's okay."

"Sure am sorry, son. I told your father it ain't right, the way he an' yer mama treated Jack. Stubborn brother of mine..."

"It's alright. We can make other plans for Thursday. And...tell my parents Happy Thanksgiving from me, okay? If they ever wanna apologise, they know my number."

"Will do. Have a good dinner, an' uh...give our best to Jack, okay? I'd like to meet that young man sometime."

"I sure will. Thanks, Uncle James."

"Bye, Ennis." They hung up and Ennis turned to Jack, sighing.

"Guess we're not going to Wyoming anytime soon," he lamented.

"Ennis, I'm sorry..." Jack replied, looking apologetic. "You can't even see your family because of me..." Ennis shook his head and turned Jack to face him properly.

"Look at me, bud. It's not your fault, okay? If my parents can't accept you, then that's their problem, not ours. And if they wanna be narrow-minded, let them. I love you, and I'd never give you up just to make them happy. Alright?"

Jack nodded, gulping a little. "Yeah..."

"Come on, let's go sit down..." He led Jack out into the living room and they curled up on the sofa together. Ennis cast around for a topic and smiled down at Jack. "Hey...you wanna talk about our trip to New York?"

"Sure..."

"Where are we staying?"

"I don't know...there's plenty of cheap hotels; we don't have to break the bank. And I reckon we can find a decent room."

Ennis nodded. "You maybe...want to see a show sometime?" Jack made an affirmative sound and leaned in closer, lacing their fingers together on Ennis's knee.

"Sounds good..." His voice wavered, and Ennis could tell he was thinking about Central Park.

"It'll be okay..." he whispered, squeezing Jack's fingers. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"Just thinking...maybe we could go for that walk through the park. I mean...I'd feel a lot safer with you there...and it might be good for me."

"Right. I'll do whatever I have to, darlin'." He paused. "What about when we get back? Are you gonna go for therapy, counselling or whatever?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. This thing's been hounding me for five years, and I've got a permanent reminder of it. I'm sick of being scared all the time, and wondering when I'm finally gonna snap. I know I can't forget the whole thing, but..." He trailed off.

"You wanna be able to think about it without feeling so bad," Ennis finished for him, and Jack nodded.

"I guess," he sighed. "I know I need some kind of help. Will you still come with me, if you can?"

"Yeah, I will. We'll find someone who'll let me sit in with you. Someone with brains when it comes to gay people."

Jack nodded, playing with Ennis's fingers. "I love you, Ennis...you're so good to me. Don't know where I'd be right now if we hadn't met...probably would've already left by now. Never could settle in one place. But now, with you here...I feel settled, and I like being here. You...you make me feel at home," he said softly, and Ennis kissed his temple.

"To be honest, Jack...I'm not sure I would've stayed much longer if we hadn't met, either. I was starting to feel like I wanted to get out, see more places. But, like you said, I feel better about staying now. Like this is where we're meant to be."

Jack smiled up at him. "Take me to bed, Ennis..." he whispered, and Ennis felt arousal flowing through him. Without a word, he took Jack's hand and lifted him up off the sofa, heading for his bedroom.

* * *

They walked into the bedroom, hand in hand. Ennis could tell that Jack was tired and worn out from recent events, and he hoped that he could make Jack feel better tonight. Knowing that Jack needed to relax, Ennis had bought some massage oil and was prepared to do anything to help him.

He turned to Jack, kissing him softly on the lips. "Get on the bed, darlin'. Gonna give you a backrub." Jack smiled and started to pull off his clothes, lying face down on the bed and sighing. Ennis followed him, pulling off his own clothes and straddling him. "You alright?"

"Uh huh," Jack replied, breathing deeply. Ennis reached into the nightstand for the massage oil and warmed it between his hands, wanting to make this good for Jack. He started to rub Jack's back, kneading out the tension and working the sore muscles. Jack was carrying around a lot of pressure these days, and it damn near broke Ennis's heart to see it. He hated seeing Jack suffering.

"S'alright, darlin'...I'm here. Nobody's gonna hurt you..." Jack sighed and felt as if he could melt into the mattress right there.

"I know...I love you..." Ennis finished with his back and moved down, rubbing his legs and then feet.

"Want me to do your chest, too?" he offered, and Jack shook his head.

"No, it's okay...but...I..." Ennis crawled back up and nuzzled Jack's ear.

"What is it? Tell me what you want..." Jack made to turn over onto his back, and Ennis let him until they were locking eyes.

"I want you inside me," Jack whispered, eyes full of need. Ennis slowly nodded.

"You sure?"

"Please..." Jack replied, ready to plead if he had to. "I wanna feel you in me..." Ennis kissed him and reached into the nightstand for the condoms and lube. He prepared himself and lifted Jack's legs, wrapping them around his waist. When he was in position, he looked down at Jack.

"Look at me, bud...open your eyes..." Jack did so and Ennis smiled. "It's okay...I won't hurt you..."

"I know you won't," Jack replied, smiling back. Ennis started to push in, their eyes fixed together. He leaned forward and pressed himself against Jack, starting to move ever so slowly inside him. Jack closed his eyes and felt arousal and pleasure flowing through his body. Ennis was being so gentle and tender with him, and he appreciated it. "Oh..."

"Feel good, darlin'?" Ennis asked, pushing deeper and yet remaining tender. Jack nodded, unable to speak. He changed his angle, trying to find that special place inside him that would make him forget everything that was troubling him.

A few more thrusts, and Jack was there, shuddering and groaning, legs shaking. Ennis followed suit and collapsed onto him, panting for breath. "You alright?"

Jack nodded, running his hands up and down Ennis's back. "Sure am...thank you..." Ennis rose up and smiled down at him.

"I'd do anything for you, Jack...you know that." They kissed again and Ennis pulled himself out, flopping onto his back. He pulled the condom off and got up, staggering to the bathroom.

Jack was feeling warm and sleepy, but he wanted to have more time with Ennis before they fell asleep. Ennis crawled back onto the bed and slipped an arm around him; Jack opened his eyes. "Mmm..."

"You feeling okay?" Ennis asked, concern in his eyes. Jack nodded.

"I'm fine. Sure am glad I've got you on my side. Just want you to know...your support means the world to me. No matter what happens, with work or my dad or whatever...I know I've got you."

"I'm always gonna be here for you, bud," Ennis promised, stroking his face. "Not going anywhere..." He nuzzled into Jack's neck and heard him sigh. "You wanna get some sleep?" Jack nodded and they moved away from each other so they could stretch out, burrowing under the covers. Before they fell asleep, they spent a few moments looking at each other in the darkness and smiling.

Ennis awoke a few hours later, and saw that Jack was no longer in the bed. He looked around and saw that the bedroom door was a little ajar, so slipped out and pulled his pyjama pants on, going in search of Jack.

He found him standing at the window, looking out at the lights of the city in the dark. Everything around them was quiet, but they could hear the sounds of traffic outside. Ennis slipped up behind Jack, making him jump.

"Easy, darlin'...it's just me..." Jack relaxed into the embrace, Ennis's head resting on his shoulder and arms encircling his stomach. "Can't sleep?"

"Not really. Can't stop worrying about what's gonna happen, with work and all. I know it's probably a good idea to quit, but it scares me. I need that kind of stability. It's more about the money and being able to get the meds."

"Don't worry about it," Ennis told him, nuzzling his neck. "If you can't get a job straightaway and you're short on cash, I'll help. I'll look after you..." Jack smiled and Ennis could just see it reflected in the glass.

"Hmm...the city looks beautiful like this, doesn't it?" Jack mused. "All lit up in the darkness."

"Yeah. Maybe one night...we could go out, run around the city and have some fun. That sound good?"

"I guess...as long as we're careful." Jack turned his head to look at him, smiling. "But I know we'll be alright, as long as we stick together. We're nearing thirty; can't go doing that stuff for much longer. Might as well make the most of it."

"Uh huh." Ennis kissed Jack's cheek and rubbed his stomach. "You ready to go back to bed?"

"Yep." Ennis pulled his arms from Jack and led him back to the bedroom. They got under the covers again and huddled close, Ennis wrapping one arm around Jack and rubbing it until he fell asleep. He swore to himself that he would do whatever it took to make Jack happy. It was worth it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_November 23rd, 2009_

On Monday, Jack was nervous. He tried to go about his work as normal, but he knew that his workmates were whispering amongst themselves every time he passed by them. Ennis had told him to just try and ignore it and remain calm, and Jack was trying his best. But it did hurt when none of his work friends approached him throughout the day like they normally did. He felt very lonely.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Ennis was sending him texts whenever he could, giving words of support and love, which were sorely needed. Jack tried to concentrate on the fact that they would be together again soon.

By the time he walked into the coffeehouse at lunchtime, he was worn out and just wanted to lie down. Ennis wasn't here yet, so he took their booth and sat down, hand over his eyes.

"Hey," said a familiar voice, and he looked up to see Lureen, giving him a sympathetic look. "You alright?"

He shook his head. "No...everybody's shunning me and whispering when they think I can't hear them. I really hope Ennis gets here soon."

She nodded and poured him a coffee. "It'll be alright, Jack. What are you guys planning for Thanksgiving, anyway? Weren't you talking about going to Ennis's uncle's place?"

"No; when he called his aunt, she said his parents were going for dinner and that it'd be best if we didn't. I guess we kind of expected that." He suddenly remembered what he and Ennis had agreed on. "By the way, we wanted to ask you and Alma...do you wanna join us for dinner on Thursday?"

She smiled. "I'd love that. I don't feel like going home and I think Alma's folks are going on a trip the day before. So I think we'll both be there. I will, anyway."

"Great." He sipped his coffee and started to relax now that he was here with a friend. The doorbell tinkling caught his attention, and he looked up to see a welcome sight; Ennis looking around for him. Their eyes met and Ennis smiled, walking over to him.

"Hey, darlin'." He leaned down and Jack eagerly met his kiss.

"Hey yourself. Been missing you...but the texts helped." Ennis sat down and took his hand.

"Good. Thought you might want some support, with everything that's going on. So...how's work this morning?"

Jack shook his head. "Awful. Everybody's avoiding me, even those I thought were my friends. If they have to speak to me, it's always short and professional, and..." He sighed. "I'm sick of it already."

"Maybe you really should think about quitting," Ennis said softly. "Even if they're not outright telling you to leave because they don't like it, you can't go on like this. I hate to see you suffering..." Jack gulped and squeezed his hand.

"I know. I really am thinking about it. By the way, I asked Lureen to dinner on Thursday, and she said yes. You asked Alma yet?"

"Oh, yeah. Saw her on my way here; she said she'll be there. At least we still have someone, Jack. They're still on our side."

"Yeah, I know. Just wish...that things could be different. Like...people wouldn't be so paranoid about HIV. I know that AIDS can kill, even now, but...people seem to think that they can catch it just by being near a positive person."

"They need educating, then," Ennis replied. "Maybe you could...I dunno...find someone, a doctor or somebody, who knows about HIV and get them to visit your work, to reassure your workmates they're not at risk."

Jack shook his head slowly. "I don't think that's the problem. The thing is...there's still so much stigma about it. It's a taboo subject and people are never gonna be comfortable with knowing about it, so for me to be there every day...it's like shoving it in their face. I think the best thing is for me to quit and find something else. But...I'm gonna wait until I've got the Christmas bonus; that'll keep me going until I can find another job." He looked into Ennis's eyes. "I don't wanna live off you, bud. But if I ever do need help, with money...I'll take you up on it, okay?"

"Sounds fair. So is there anything else you wanna do?"

"Don't know. I'd like to work with animals, maybe, but it wouldn't be a good idea to get a job at the vets, not with people knowing. I could get a shift here, maybe..." Ennis nodded and Jack trailed off, thinking about the possibilities. There was plenty of work in the city, but if a potential employer found out about his HIV, it could result in a rejection. The injustice of it all made him want to scream; it wasn't his fault that he was positive, and people were just assuming the worst. He hated trying to second-guess how people might respond.

"Tell you what...try not to worry right now," Ennis told him, running his thumb over Jack's knuckles. "Let's just...think about Thursday. We're both cooking, right?"

"Yeah, and we could ask the girls to bring something, to pitch in."

"Bring what?" asked Lureen, making them both jump. She grinned at their reaction.

"Jesus, Lu...don't do that." Jack shook his head. "Anyway...maybe you could bring something on Thursday."

"Well...I'm pretty good at cranberry sauce," she answered, thinking. "Or maybe some dessert..."

"Whatever you want. Maybe you should talk to Alma; decide between you. We'll have the turkey and everything else covered, but sauce and dessert would be great," he said to her, smiling a little. She nodded and walked off to attend to another customer. Ennis was pleased to see Jack looking a little happier now that they had a plan in motion, even if it was just dinner. The main thing was, Jack was no longer miserable. Ennis knew that if Jack left his job, it would probably be the best thing for him, and he'd only ever wanted the best for Jack.

* * *

A few hours later, Ennis and Jack finally finished work and met up at Ennis's place. Jack was glad to be away from work, and alone with Ennis. He sat on the sofa with a beer while Ennis made dinner for them both.

He thought about their upcoming trip to New York, and wondered how he would cope when they went near the park. There were so many bad memories associated with the place, and he hoped that he wouldn't get sick or anything.

His phone ringing interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, sweetie. How are you?"

He sighed. "Not so good. One of my workmates exposed my HIV to everybody in the store, including everybody I work with." A lump rose in his throat at the bad memory and he swallowed it down. Ennis heard him talking and looked at him sadly.

"Oh, Jack...I'm sorry. Did the manager do something?"

"Yeah, he fired the guy and told me he'd keep an eye on things. But...now the people I work with won't talk to me, or even look at me. It's horrible being there."

"Are you gonna quit?" she asked softly, and he bit his lip.

"I don't know...maybe. I'm thinking about it. I can't take much more of that place."

"What about money, if you do?" she asked. Jack looked over at Ennis.

"I'm gonna wait until I get the Christmas bonus," he said decisively. "But Ennis says he'll help me out if I need it."

"That's good," she replied. "I'm glad you've got him, honey. He sounds like a hell of a guy."

"He is," Jack replied, thoughts of Ennis warming his heart. "I'm really happy, mom." Ennis heard this and smiled to himself.

"Good. Are you really okay, Jack? Nobody's been threatening you, have they?"

He shook his head. "No, they haven't. I thought they might, but no." He smiled. "I bet Ennis would go after them if they did." He jumped a little when he felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around his neck warmly. "He's kind of protective like that."

"He's good to you, isn't he?" she said gently, and Jack put his free hand over Ennis's.

"He sure is, mom."

"That's good. Anyway, your dad's gonna be home soon. I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Yep, bye mom." He hung up and sighed, craning his head back to look up into Ennis's face. "Hey, bud."

"Hey...you okay?" Jack nodded.

"I'll be alright. Dinner nearly ready?"

"Yeah, won't be long." Ennis leaned down and kissed Jack upside-down, making him grin against his lips. "I heard what you said...that you're happy. Sure am glad to hear that."

"Well, I am," Jack replied, looking sincere. "Even with being positive, and things at work, worrying about money...I've never been so happy as I am with you. I love you something fierce..."

Ennis smiled. "I love you too, darlin'. Everything's gonna be alright, I promise." He then patted Jack's shoulder. "Come on, up. Dinner's almost ready." Jack got up and followed Ennis into the kitchen.

"Mmm, what's that smell?" he asked in interest, sniffing. "That some kind of curry?"

"Yep, Thai Green Curry. I know you like that stuff. Got Naan bread, too. The whole works." Ennis looked around, hoping that Jack approved. "I remember what you said...about spicy stuff releasing toxins and...did you say something about cleansing?"

"Yeah, I did. It's good for you." Jack smiled. "Thanks, Ennis. This looks really good." Ennis went over to check it and Jack peered over his shoulder. "You used a lot of coconut milk, didn't you? It's really thick...looks great." Ennis smiled back and put the spoon into the curry, bringing some out and turning to Jack.

"Here..." Jack tasted it eagerly; it was sweet and not too hot, just how he liked it. Ennis knew him so well.

"Mmm, that's really good." He nodded his approval and Ennis was pleased with himself. "I'll get us another beer," he added, turning to dig in the fridge. Ennis poured the curry into two bowls and brought them to the table with the bread, and Jack turned the oven off before joining him. They sat down at the table and Jack looked around at their meal.

"Dig in, bud," Ennis said to him, seeing the light in his eyes. Jack grinned and they did so, him frequently making approving sounds in his throat. Throughout the meal, Ennis caught himself marvelling at how far they'd come in such a short time. It had only been just short of four months, but it felt more like four years sometimes. He loved Jack with all his heart, and knew that the feeling was mutual.

Jack's foot found his leg, rubbing up and down it gently. Ennis saw Jack smile at him and his eyes sparkle. "I love you, bud."

Ennis smiled back, eyes full of love. "I love you too, darlin'." They finished up and headed back into the living room, stretching out on the sofa and flicking on the TV, watching a rerun of Pyramid. Jack ended up with his feet in Ennis's lap, where his feet were rubbed and caressed, and he smiled.

"Hmm...that feels good." Ennis smiled back and continued to rub his feet, taking his time with them until Jack was almost purring. They watched the rest of the show and stood up, yawning. Jack pressed himself up to Ennis, eyes full of lust. Ennis was glad to see him so happy for once. "You wanna...?"

Ennis nodded, leaning in to kiss him. "Sure. I'll throw the bottles away and lock up; you go on in." Jack squeezed his crotch and walked off, removing his shirt as he did so and looking over his shoulder at Ennis seductively. Ennis shook his head in amusement and went to lock up; he couldn't wait to get back to Jack.

When he entered the bedroom, Jack was lying on his back, completely naked and legs spread wide. He didn't speak; simply removed his own clothes and joined him.

* * *

_November 26th, 2009_

On Thursday, Ennis and Jack got up early at Jack's place to make a start on the day's plans. They had decided to get everything ready for dinner, so they wouldn't have to spend too much time on it. Lureen was bringing cranberry sauce and Alma had been making chocolate pies for them, which certainly piqued Jack's interest.

The two of them worked side by side, chopping the vegetables and preparing the turkey. They knew it would take several hours to cook everything, and didn't want to spend the entire day in the kitchen.

As they worked, Jack was thinking about his plans to quit his job. He was going to wait until he had the Christmas bonus; that much was certain, unless he got fired before then. But he knew he would have to find another job as soon as he could, for he didn't like the idea of living off Ennis, no matter how much he appreciated the offer. He had to take care of this himself.

"Penny for your thoughts, bud," Ennis said, nudging him a little. Jack looked over at him.

"Oh, sorry...was just thinking. I'm definitely going to quit my job. But I was thinking about what I'll do for money."

"Well, I've been thinking on that, too. Did some research...if you can't get another job, there are benefits you could apply for. Like a disability allowance. HIV is classed as a disability and you'd be entitled to it if you're not working."

Jack nodded. "I guess. It's something if I can't find another job."

Ennis paused, wondering if he should go ahead with this. "You know...there is something else, but..."

"What?"

"I...I could apply for a carer's allowance, to help look after you. But...we'd have to be living together for that one. I know we can't get married or anything, but they do let couples like us have domestic partnerships..." He trailed off, and Jack heard the unasked question; for them to live together. He didn't have the heart to tell Ennis that he wasn't quite ready for it.

He turned to his lover. "Ennis, I...I'd like to talk about this, but...can it wait? At least until dinner's over?" Ennis nodded and cleared his throat. "I know we have to hash out some things, but I'd like to get dinner over with first." He leaned in and kissed Ennis softly to cushion the blow. Ennis reminded himself that Jack loved him, and just because he might not yet be ready for them to live together, that didn't mean it would never happen.

"Sure, darlin'." They kissed again and the food was soon ready for cooking. They covered it all up and went into the living room, switching on the football game that always played on this day. As they sat together, Jack curled up against Ennis as he had a tendency to, feeling warm and comfortable.

"Ennis?" he asked after a while.

"Hmm?"

"If it were legal, would you marry me?" Ennis's breath caught in his throat; that was the last thing he'd been expecting. But he knew the answer as sure as he knew his own name.

"Would I marry you?" he repeated softly. Jack nodded, and Ennis kissed the top of his head. "Yeah, I would. I love you, Jack."

Jack smiled. "I love you, too." They fell silent, not needing to say anything more.

At around two, they started getting ready for dinner, putting the turkey in the oven and leaving it. There was a knock on the door, and Jack went to open it. Alma was standing there, holding a pair of cake tins with a bright smile on her face.

"Happy Thanksgiving," she said to him, and he let her in.

"Same to you, come on in. Are those done?"

"No, I didn't want them getting cold on my way over here...I was hoping to use your oven..."

"Sure, there's room." They went into the kitchen, where she greeted Ennis and put the pies in the oven. An hour later, Lureen arrived with the cranberry sauce and they all sat down at the table to talk.

"So how've you been?" Alma asked, looking at Jack. He shrugged.

"Not so good, people avoiding me...but I've decided I'm gonna quit, as soon as I get the Christmas bonus. Ennis was saying how I could apply for benefits if I can't find another job soon."

"Yeah, that's true. You, um...you been feeling okay?" He was surprised but touched by her concern.

"I'm alright. As long as my T-cell count's high and my viral load's low, I'll be okay. My doctor says I'm pretty healthy, considering."

"That's because you look after yourself," Lureen reminded him with a smile.

"And you have the love of a good man," Alma nodded, and smiled too. "I sure am glad things have worked out for you two. I want you to be happy, Ennis, even if it's not with me."

He smiled at her. "Thanks, Alma." A couple of hours later, dinner was ready and they all settled down again, plates heaping with turkey, potatoes and vegetables, with cranberry sauce and wine decorating the table.

"So, what are we all thankful for this year?" Lureen asked, looking around at them all. "I'm thankful that Jack moved here, because he's happy and I've made two new friends out of it."

"I'm thankful to also make two new friends, and that Ennis is happy," said Alma.

"I'm thankful to be here, and that I've met Ennis. And I'm thankful to at least have some friends who know what I have and don't run away from me," Jack continued, smiling. Ennis cleared his throat.

"I'm thankful I met Jack, and that I made a friend out of it." He nodded to Lureen. "And...I'm just thankful that we're all here."

"Hear, hear," said Jack, holding up his glass, and they all joined him. Afterwards, they all piled in front of the TV to watch a movie, feeling as though the bond between all four of them had been strengthened.

* * *

Alma and Lureen left around ten, with turkey leftovers and the remainder of the pies. Ennis and Jack decided to leave the dishes until the next morning, and finished off the wine before retiring to Jack's bedroom. This was their favourite time of day to be together; when they were about to make love in whichever way they chose to.

They stripped off, crawled into bed together and stretched, full of good food and wine. Ennis smiled over at Jack, marvelling at yet another wonderful day together. He was so much in love with Jack, and even when things weren't so good, like they hadn't been lately at Jack's work, Ennis knew that whenever they were together, there was nowhere else he would rather be. He belonged with Jack; that much was certain.

Jack smiled over at him. "Have a good day?" he asked softly, reaching out to stroke Ennis's cheek. Ennis nodded, liking the feeling of Jack's fingers on his face. He was in awe of the different ways that Jack could touch him, whether it be in the heat of their passion to drive him crazy, or gentle like this to make his heart flutter.

"Sure did. I think we did good with the dinner, and it was good to spend time with the girls. Feel like me and Alma do a lot better as friends than as a couple." It was true; they were on good terms now and she seemed to accept his relationship with Jack, and she had even stayed with him in the aftermath of what Darren had done. Ennis was truly grateful to her for that.

"I'm glad you're on good terms," Jack said to him. "Makes everything a lot easier." Then his eyes turned a little dark. "But I don't wanna talk about the girls right now..." He rolled onto his side, practically purring. "I wanna get with you for a while."

Ennis grinned and rolled to face him. "That so? Sounds good..." They leaned in and began to kiss softly, tongues probing and finding each other. Hand came up to tangle in hair and pull gently, making them both moan. Jack pushed Ennis over to lie on his back and straddled him, moving down the bed with a glint in his eyes. Ennis breathed deeply in anticipation, wanting to feel Jack's mouth on him. Jack was very skilled at oral sex, and Ennis loved it when they did this.

Jack reached his target and began to suck, taking it slowly and driving Ennis crazy with lust. "Oh, darlin'..." His hands came up to grip the bars of the headboard, holding on for dear life and trying not to choke Jack, who kept on going. Ennis bucked and groaned, head spinning as he felt Jack's tongue sliding up his erection, leaking like a fountain.

One of Jack's hands moved around his waist, finding the gap between his cheeks and probing gently, pushing Ennis even closer to the edge. He suddenly spurted deep into Jack's throat, biting back a yell and eyes screwing shut.

He collapsed onto the bed and sighed, going soft as Jack licked him clean. It took a while for the world to stop spinning around him, and he was dimly aware of Jack crawling back up and lying on top of him, smiling.

"Darlin'...that was..." He paused. "Your turn." He caught Jack off-guard, rolling them both over until he was on top, kissing Jack fiercely. He then grabbed a condom and slid his hand down Jack's body, taking him in hand and starting to jerk him off as they continued to kiss.

"Oh, baby..." Jack moaned, trembling and thrusting into Ennis's hand. "Oh God...don't stop..." Ennis had no intention of doing so. He pushed his tongue into Jack's mouth, hand moving up and down until Jack was panting, almost at the finish line. He quickly put the condom on Jack and finished him off, watching him erupt with an indescribable look on his face. Jack settled back and sighed, a smile spreading across his face. "Mmm..."

"You like that?" Ennis asked softly, stroking Jack's face.

"Uh huh..." Ennis rolled the condom off him and went to dispose of it. He came back and lay on top of Jack again, covering him with his warmth. Jack opened his eyes and smiled at him. "Hey..."

"Hey yourself, darlin'. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Had a real good day today...and we've got our trip coming up soon. We still need to book a flight..."

"We'll sort that soon," Ennis told him. "Don't worry; it'll be fine." He nuzzled his nose against Jack's, which made him smile. "We have to get you sorted out first...with your job. Are you definitely leaving?"

Jack thought for a moment. "Yeah, I am. I can't stay there much longer...not with the way people treat me. After what Darren did, they all shun me, and...I don't like working there anymore."

Ennis nodded. "I know. It's probably for the best that you leave. And don't worry about money, okay? I..."

"Ennis," Jack interrupted. "What you said before, about us living together..." Ennis shook his head.

"It's okay. I know we're not really ready for that...it wasn't right of me to put you on the spot like that. I just...I want to help you in any way I can."

"I don't need financial help from you," Jack replied in the gentlest voice he could muster. "What I need from you is exactly what you're already doing. You look after me really well, you know. Like...when you're there for me, cheering me up. It means more to me than you giving me money and paying for stuff. This is what I need you for."

Ennis nodded. "Okay. But my offer still stands; always will. I love you so much, Jack..." They kissed again and Ennis rolled off him, staying close.

"I love you too," Jack replied, nuzzling their faces together. They settled down and closed their eyes, moving in close before they fell asleep.

* * *

_December 1st, 2009_

The temperature dropped even further as the month changed and Christmas approached. Decorations started appearing all over the city and the holiday season began. Snow was predicted to fall any day now and people were starting to look for Christmas presents for their loved ones.

Early in the morning, Ennis and Jack were lying in bed together, warm and cosy. Their bodies were twined together, legs rubbing and nudging under the quilt. They weren't having sex; just kissing softly and holding each other to try and keep warm until they had to get up for work. Half-aroused, they explored each other thoroughly until they had to come up for air. They kissed and caressed until they came in unison, Jack thankfully remembering to put a rubber on so that his come didn't get anywhere near Ennis. He knew that transmission wasn't really possible in this way, but he didn't want to take any chances. Living with HIV was no easy feat, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially not the man he loved.

"Damn, it's cold," Jack said, shivering a little. Ennis rubbed his back, trying to warm him up. He benefitted from this too; he could feel all of Jack's muscles, no doubt from his numerous gym sessions.

"I know, darlin'. Trying to keep you warm..." Jack smiled at him and nuzzled his face, touched by his concern.

"I appreciate it."

Ennis thought for a moment. "Um...Jack? How...how do you cope in cold weather?"

Jack shrugged. "Most of the time I'm alright, as long as I don't get too cold. Stay warm inside, wrap up outside. Pretty much all I need to do. I'll be okay," he reassured Ennis, who nodded. He was getting used to the various aspects of having a positive lover, and was adjusting to how things could change without a moment's notice. "Alright...you want some breakfast? I'll make something hot."

"Okay." They kissed once more and Jack got out of bed, pulling his pyjamas and robe on, heading out. He switched the heating on and walked into the kitchen, looking for eggs and bacon. Ennis soon followed him to make some coffee and switch the radio on, copping a feel of Jack's ass before leaving him alone to cook in peace.

They worked side by side in a comfortable silence, listening to the sounds of the traffic outside. It was yet another beautiful day and they were looking forward to Christmas. They had already spent one major holiday together, but this felt different; Christmas was a time for family, and they already felt that they were becoming some kind of family. Maybe even this time next year, they would be living together. They knew that it was definitely on the cards for them, and they were comfortable in the knowledge that they had a future together.

When the food was ready, they sat down and tucked in, Ennis once again complimenting Jack's culinary skills. They talked about various things, and then Jack looked up at Ennis.

"So, bud...what do you want for Christmas?" he asked, twirling his fork. Ennis thought.

"Don't know...you already got me some boots for when it snows. Maybe...a new jacket? Something warm?"

Jack nodded. "Okay. I think I can manage that."

"What about you?" Ennis asked.

"Well...I don't know. There's nothing I really need right now." Jack smiled. "Why don't you surprise me?" Ennis grinned.

"Alright. So...what about the girls? What are we getting them?"

"Lureen likes jewellery. Her birthstone's the garnet, for January. She loves anything with that in it. What's Alma's birthstone?" Jack asked, tilting his head.

"I'm not sure...her birthday's in March..." Jack nodded and tried to remember. He'd seen a list in a jewellery catalogue when trying to find out Lureen's birthstone.

"I think...that's the aquamarine. I'd have to check." He finished his breakfast and picked up his coffee. "Can't believe it's nearly Christmas already. How long have we been together?"

"Well...if we're counting from the day when you explained about the HIV and we agreed to take things slow and everything..." Jack nodded; this was their agreed date of when they had truly gotten together. "That was August 8th. So...almost four months." He was surprised at how short a time it had been.

Jack smiled. "Sometimes it feels like a lot longer, doesn't it?" Ennis reached over and took his hand.

"Yeah. Feels like we've known each other forever. I love you so much, Jack..."

"Love you too, sweetheart." Ennis blushed at the endearment and returned to his breakfast.

When they were done, they got dressed and wrapped themselves up warm, Ennis making sure that Jack was wearing enough layers. They headed out and walked out of the building into the bitter cold air, shivering. Regardless of whose apartment they were staying at, they always kissed each other goodbye at the entrance to the park. Last night, they had stayed at Jack's, so he walked Ennis to the park and turned to face him.

"Well...guess I'll see you at lunch, then," Jack said to him, rubbing his arm and unwilling to let him go so soon, even though they would see each other in a few hours. Ennis smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. Um...instead of the coffee place today...you wanna go somewhere else? Like a café?"

"Sure, sounds great. Why don't we meet here and decide from there?"

"Alright. Bye, then..." They leaned in and kissed warmly, Ennis raising one hand to Jack's neck and rubbing a little until they pulled away. Ennis started walking, looking back at Jack and feeling the loss of him. Jack smiled and walked off, knowing that they would both be counting down the hours until they could see each other again.

His happy demeanour changed when he entered the store, looking around warily. He caught a few of his workmates looking at him and shook his head, determined not to let them get to him. Just a few more weeks until the bonuses were handed out, and he would be free to go. He could hardly wait.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_December 3rd, 2009_

A couple of days later, the weather was continuing to turn colder, and Ennis and Jack spent a lot more time in bed, keeping warm.

Their trip to New York would be in just over two weeks, and the two of them were sat in the coffeehouse at lunch; they had spread out numerous flyers of things to do in New York. The flight was booked for seven in the evening on the 18th, so they hoped to be in New York by midnight. Despite Jack's nerves about being near Central Park, he was looking forward to the trip. He wanted to see his mother again and introduce her to Ennis.

The pair of them rifled through the leaflets, reading out passages of interest, while Jack told Ennis the things he could remember about the city. They planned to visit museums and art galleries, and eat at good restaurants. And they were both very careful about the budget.

Lureen watched them with interest from the counter, a slight smile on her face. She was glad that things were getting better for them; they deserved some happiness and a break after everything they'd been through lately. And she would always be grateful to Ennis for making Jack happier than he'd ever been; when he'd been attacked and then diagnosed, she wasn't entirely sure if she would ever see him smile again. She could still remember a few months ago, when he'd arrived in the city five years after the diagnosis and having tried to settle all over the country.

"_Oh, Jack..." she sighed, looking at him. He'd told her he would be coming here, and she'd agreed to let him stay with her until he found his own place. She just hoped that he would be okay in the long run, and that he could find a job and buy the meds he needed. _

"_Lu...I..." He couldn't speak, but they embraced tightly, and he was shaking. She pulled back and tugged at his jacket._

"_Come on, let's get you dried out and I'll make you something to eat and drink." He nodded and she led him inside, the misery pouring off him in waves._

She shook her head of the bad memory; it was long gone now, and Jack was so much better than he had been. Ennis was good for him; that much she knew with all her heart. Even if she one day decided to leave the city, she knew that Jack would be well looked-after as long as Ennis was there. It would be alright for her to leave if she wanted to, and she wouldn't have to worry about Jack.

Jack was making a list of all the places Ennis wanted to see and everything they wanted to do. Apart from seeing his mother, their timetable was basically free during their trip. He knew that at some point, they would be going to Central Park, and he had a little time to prepare for that.

His father was another matter. Jack wasn't entirely sure if they would even see him, much less try to have a conversation with him. What if they did run into each other? Would he ignore them? Would be rude to him or Ennis? Jack wasn't entirely sure what might happen.

"Jack," Ennis said softly, breaking into his thoughts and covering Jack's hand with his own. "I can see you worrying over there. Cut it out, okay?"

"Sorry," Jack replied, shaking his head. "Thinking about my dad...he works in the city, and what if we...run into him? What if he's rude to us?"

Ennis shrugged. "Wouldn't matter, would it?" Jack felt a stab of annoyance; something he'd never felt with Ennis before.

"It would matter to me," he said sharply, and Ennis saw that his temper was rising. He grabbed Jack's other hand, trying to soothe him.

"Easy, bud...didn't mean to rile you up. What I mean is...would it really have any effect on us? Would it make you stop loving me just to make him happy?" Jack shook his head.

"No...but despite everything, I...I'd still like to get his approval, or at least his acceptance. He couldn't even do that."

"I know. So it would matter in the short-term, but not the long-term. At the end of the day...we love each other, and nothing that anybody says or does can change that. Right?"

Jack smiled, bringing Ennis's hands up to kiss them both. "Right. Sorry for snapping at you..." Ennis shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. I know thinking about this stuff puts you on edge, and I'm trying to keep you calm..."

"You do a real good job," Jack told him earnestly. "I'm serious, Ennis. Whenever I'm upset or worried about something...all I have to do is turn to you and...you hold me close, tell me that everything will be alright. And you know what? You make me believe it, even when I don't think I can. You just have that gift..."

Ennis's heart was bursting with love as he let Jack's words wash over him, and he smiled. "Darlin'...don't really know what to say to that." Jack smiled back.

"Give it a try," he prodded gently. Ennis nodded, thinking.

"Well...when I see you like that, upset and everything...makes me...ache, you know? All I wanna do is help you feel better. Can't stand to see you hurting, bud. You...you're the love of my life, Jack..."

Jack gulped, the intensity of the love between them overwhelming him. "I feel the same way, Ennis..." They leaned over the table and kissed, unable to hold back any longer. It was a sweet kiss, full of love and promises for them both. Maybe they might never legally marry, but their connection was strong, and that meant more to them right now than a ceremony.

When they pulled apart, they smiled their secret smiles at each other, lost in their own world. Everything was as it should be right now, and that was enough.

* * *

After lunch and a few more hours of work, they were finally finished for the day and decided to meet up in the park. While they had been working, snow had been falling outside and was already in a thick blanket by the time Ennis got to the park, waiting for Jack so that they could spend the evening together.

He looked around, seeing children playing and dogs rolling around in the snow, the sound of laughter in the air. The holiday season had always been like this, and even though he was approaching thirty, he still loved it.

Just as he was wondering what had become of Jack, he felt something cold and wet slamming into the back of his head and jerked forward. He shook his hair of the snow and turned to see Jack, a bright grin on his face. Ennis smirked and picked up his own snowball, aiming for Jack, who ran and could be heard giggling as Ennis gave chase.

They tore through the park and around the lake, laughing and throwing snowballs at each other, enjoying this precious moment that they would always remember. It was their first experience of a snowfall together and Jack loved playing with Ennis like this. Their lives could be so intense sometimes, that this light-hearted activity felt like a welcome relief.

"Get back here, Twist!" Ennis called after him after missing him yet again. Jack stuck his tongue out at him.

"Not happening! You've gotta catch me!" He ran off again and Ennis abandoned the snow in favour of catching up to him. Luckily, his long calliper legs gave him the advantage, and he almost grabbed the back of Jack's coat, just missing him by inches.

Jack was laughing, and even in his rush to catch him, Ennis marvelled at the beautiful sound. He loved to hear Jack happy like this.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to grab Jack, Ennis simply made a small jump onto Jack's back and pulled him down into the snow, drawing a yelp out of him. They tussled for a moment and Ennis pinned him down by the wrists, straddling him. Jack was still laughing, blue eyes flashing and cheeks flushed pink. Ennis thought that he'd never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

He smiled fondly down at Jack, whose laughter had subsided and was now gazing up at him. "Hey, darlin'..."

"Hey yourself," Jack replied, grinning. His dazzling smile made the snow pale in comparison, and Ennis released his wrists, leaning down. He quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone, and pressed his lips to Jack's, making him moan. Jack's arms came up and wound themselves around Ennis's back, pulling him close until they were lying pressed together, Ennis's warm weight covering Jack's.

They kissed for several heavenly moments, and then Ennis nuzzled their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. Jack smiled even further.

"Hey...wanna make some snow angels?" he suggested, and Ennis nodded.

"Sure, but...I've already got one of those, right here..." Jack's heart leapt at the wonderful words and he kissed Ennis again before they got up, brushing themselves off. They found a clear, untouched patch of snow and grinned at each other, spreading out and letting themselves fall backwards into the snow, coughing a little and starting to make the angels. They waved their arms and legs through the snow until the shape was defined and then stood up, careful not to disturb it as they stepped out. Turning, they admired their work, and Ennis put his arm around Jack. "Not a bad job, bud."

Jack nodded. "Yep. I always loved this time of year; how you could do so much with the snow...especially when you have someone to share it with," he added, looking at Ennis, who kissed his temple.

They ended up making a snowman while it was still light, and Jack joked around by putting the small stick for the nose in an inappropriate place, flanked by two acorns. Ennis rolled his eyes in amusement and put them on the snowman properly.

When there was nothing more they could do with the snow, they stretched and decided to retire to Ennis's place for dinner and to get warm. Jack linked his arm through Ennis's as they walked, feeling more in love than ever now that they had played together like this. They'd had their fun together in the last few months, but nothing really like this. The snow only came once a year (usually) so it felt unique, and Jack liked that he'd shared this momentous occasion with Ennis. He felt as if they were closer than ever.

They were both shivering as they entered Ennis's apartment, and Ennis immediately put the heating on as they took off their cold and wet outer clothes. "Bud, could you get the hot chocolate while I see about dinner?" Jack nodded and kissed his cheek before walking into the kitchen. Ennis got out the small rack and set it in front of the radiator, spreading their clothes out on it so they could dry.

He entered the kitchen to find Jack making the hot chocolate, and smiled to himself at seeing this wonderful man in his home. Maybe one day, they would have a home together.

"What do you want for dinner, darlin'?" he asked, looking around at the cupboards. Jack shrugged.

"What about some soup? I think I saw some tomato in the cupboard." Ennis nodded and found the packets of soup, taking out two of the tomato and preparing them, switching on the kettle. As they waited for it to boil for the food and drink, they leaned against the counter and talked for a while.

When they were sat in front of the TV with their hot chocolate and soup, neither of them had ever felt as happy or as at peace as they did now. They'd come so far in such a short time, and they knew that they had so much more to look forward to from their relationship.

* * *

A couple of days later, Ennis and Jack were spending a rare day alone together, but they had a good reason. They were Christmas shopping for each other and the girls, so they had to buy their gifts separately. As much as they liked to spend time together, they didn't want to see their gifts from each other until Christmas. They would be exchanging their presents in a hotel room in New York.

Jack went back to the Western-style store where he'd bought Ennis's boots from, hoping to find a suitable jacket for him. He wanted something warm and thick, and entered into the shop, the smell of leather greeting him once more.

Cassie was there again, and she recognised him. "Hey."

"Hi," he replied, smiling a little. "Christmas shopping today."

She nodded. "Okay. Your boyfriend again?" she asked, not at all hostile. This man didn't make her uncomfortable; in fact, if he was straight, she might have considered going for it.

"Yep. He wants a jacket; something to keep him warm in these months."

"Alright. Come on over here..." She led him to a corner of the room, where a number of jackets were on display. "What's his size?"

"A sixteen," Jack said, having checked in Ennis's other clothes that morning.

"Okay." She pointed out the appropriate jackets for the size, and left him to it. He rifled through them, one style in particular catching his eye. Some of the jackets were fur-lined, and he knew that these would keep Ennis warm outside.

He paused at one in particular; it was tan-coloured, but with fur on the inside. It was exactly what he was looking for, and he knew that Ennis would like it. He took it from the rack and examined it, noting how well-made it was.

Cassie came back over to him. "You found one you like?" He nodded and held out the jacket in his hands.

"Yeah, this one's nice. I think he'll like it." Jack checked the price list; he could afford it. He then nodded. "Yep, I want this one." Cassie led him over to the cash register and wrapped it up, placing it in a white box. Jack paid for it and left the store, looking around and turning his collar up against the bitter cold air. He and Ennis had agreed to meet at the coffee place when they were done. The next place on his list was a jewellery store, looking for Alma and Lureen's presents. He set off down the road, looking for somewhere suitable.

Meanwhile, Ennis was walking around a different part of the city, looking for a present for Jack. He wasn't too sure what to get, so he decided to buy presents for the girls first. He entered the nearest jewellery store and headed for the catalogues.

He picked out a necklace for Lureen with a garnet and a pair of earrings for Alma with aquamarines set in them. As he headed for the counter to order his purchases, his eye caught something, and he looked over at the watches. Jack did wear one, but he'd mentioned that it was old and that he could do with a new one. Ennis smiled to himself and noted down the number, taking the form to the counter.

"Hi, how can I help you?" asked the attendant in a cheery voice. A nametag told Ennis that her name was Becky. He smiled back and held out the form.

"Uh...I'd like these three items, please," he said to her, and she took it, nodding.

"Okay. Just wait here." She went off into the storeroom, leaving him to wait there, listening to the Christmas music playing over the speakers. He thought of Jack and how he was faring with his gifts. Hopefully they would be able to meet up soon; they hadn't been apart for long and Ennis already missed him.

Becky came back holding three small boxes and smiling. "Here we go," she said, settling them on the counter. She opened them up for him to examine; the jewellery was beautiful and he knew that the girls would love the pieces.

Jack's watch was silver, with a black face. It was simple enough, but he had a gut feeling that Jack would love it. He always seemed to love the things that Ennis bought him.

"Are these okay?" Becky asked him, and he nodded.

"Yep. They look great, thank you." He paid for the items and they were wrapped up carefully.

When he stepped out of the shop, he checked his own watch; maybe Jack would be done by now. He headed back to the coffeehouse, knowing that he could at least talk to Lureen until Jack got there.

He entered the coffeehouse and looked around; sure enough, Lureen was wiping down tables. Jack was nowhere to be seen. "Hey, Lureen."

She turned and smiled. "Hi, Ennis. How's it going?"

"Alright. Got all my shopping done." She nodded.

"Good. You want a coffee?"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." He took their usual booth and set down the bag, stretching his legs under the table. Lureen brought him a coffee and he pulled out his cell phone, sending a text to Jack to let him know where he was.

Fifteen minutes later, Jack walked in and grinned at him, walking over. He sat down opposite Ennis and leaned over, kissing him warmly. "Hey, how's it going? You get all your shopping done?"

"Yeah, at least for you guys. I don't know what to do about my parents, though," Ennis admitted. Jack nodded.

"I know. I'm gonna get my mom something over there, I reckon. That's about it." He looked around. "Listen, when we get back to your place, how about we compare jewellery for the girls?"

"Sure." Lureen brought Jack a cappuccino and they warmed themselves up, Jack rubbing his foot against Ennis and making them both smile. A light snowfall started outside, and it was cold, but they were happy here. That was all that mattered.

* * *

Two days later, on the Monday morning, Jack went to talk to his boss after some encouragement from Ennis, intending to confirm his HIV status and ask his workmates whether or not they wanted him to stay. He just couldn't go on pretending that the stares and silent treatment weren't hurting him.

He said goodbye to Ennis at the entrance to the park, feeling nervous. Ennis held him close and rubbed his back.

"It'll be alright, darlin'," he soothed. "Whatever they decide, you know you'll never be alone. You'll always have me, and the girls..."

Jack nodded, hugging Ennis tightly. "I know. Just...really scary." They embraced for a few more moments and then let go, kissing warmly.

The two of them reluctantly prised apart and went their separate ways. Jack had promised Ennis that he would send a message when it was done, and he'd decided to give his workmates a week to decide what they wanted him to do.

He entered the store, ignoring the others, and went straight through to Charles's office and knocked. "Come in."

Jack poked his head in nervously. "Um, hi sir. I was wondering if I could talk to you..." Charles waved him in.

"Of course, come in." Jack sat down opposite him and took several deep breaths. "What can I do for you, Jack?"

"Well...I've been doing a lot of thinking, ever since Darren pulled that stunt on me. I've...been talking it over with my boyfriend, too."

Charles nodded. "Alright. So what have you decided?"

Jack looked him in the eye. "I think I want to quit the store. I can't take much more of the stares and silent treatment. I used to get on great with these people, even when they found out I'm gay. But now..." He trailed off. "Anyway, I want to ask my workmates, straight out, if they want me to go. I was thinking...if I ask them today, and give them until Friday..."

"That sounds fair. If it's what you really want, Jack, I can't force you to stay. But rest assured, if you do quit, you will still get the Christmas bonus. Consider it my Christmas present to you." He smiled sympathetically; Jack was a nice guy and a good worker; he didn't deserve what was going on.

Jack smiled a little. "Thanks, sir." He sighed. "So when's a good time to ask them?"

Charles checked his watch. "Now's as good a time as any, while they're all here and there's no customers yet. Come on." They left the office and went over to the microphone, Jack blocking out the memories of Darren using it. Charles cleared his throat and picked it up.

"This is a staff announcement from your manager, Charles Goodwin. I would like the attention of all staff, please." Everybody turned and looked, seeing that Jack was there, too. A few murmurs were exchanged. "As you know, things have been a little strained lately, with the recent occurrences amongst a couple of staff members, and it's time to sort this out. Jack Twist is here with me, and he would like to speak to you all." Charles nodded at Jack and handed the microphone to him.

"Uh, hey guys. I know you all remember what Darren did a little while ago. And I know that you're all giving me the silent treatment and whispering about me behind my back. The thing is...yes, I'm HIV positive. I've had it for five years. I used to live in New York, and when I was in college, I was...sexually attacked." He took a moment to gather his composure; he no longer cared about keeping his past a secret, and he knew that honesty was the best policy.

"I moved here in June, and I met my current boyfriend soon after. He's been an absolute rock to me and has been helping me through what's been going on lately. Now...I can guess why you guys are shunning me. You probably don't know much about HIV, or are scared of being infected. Let me tell you now...there is absolutely no chance of you guys catching it just by being near me. It's not like a cold. I know that if I were to get a paper cut or something, I would bandage it up so that nobody is at risk. And the only other way would be...well, by having sex with one of you. And since I'm with a wonderful man who I love, there's no chance of that happening."

Jack coughed to clear his throat. "So...that's the truth of it. I'm thinking of leaving the company, because I can't take much more of the stares and whispers. I've talked it over with the boss, and he agrees that you've all got until Friday to decide. Maybe we could set up anonymous paper ballots or something..." He looked at Charles, who nodded. "So that's all I wanted to say. Whatever you guys decide will be fine." He moved away from the microphone and Charles took over, talking about the paper ballot and then putting the microphone back.

He turned to Jack. "That was a very brave thing you did, Jack. Telling them how you got it."

"I just wanted them to be sure I'm not promiscuous; that I'm not about to go chasing after one of them or something. Besides...if I keep it to myself all the time...it'll drive me crazy. People should know that it happens to guys, too." Charles nodded and left him to get to work.

Jack went into the bathroom and pulled out his cell phone, sending a message to Ennis.

_Just done it. They're gonna do a paper ballot. Will know by Friday._

He sighed and leaned back, breathing deeply and trying to calm his frayed nerves. A few minutes later, his phone buzzed with a reply.

_Good job, bud. I love you._

Jack smiled and sent one back before leaving and getting to work, a little spring in his step that hadn't been there before.

_I love you too xxx_

* * *

At lunchtime, Ennis and Jack did something they'd never done at this time before; they went back to Jack's apartment to be alone. They both needed it after what Jack had done that morning. He was a little stressed, so Ennis offered to make him lunch, which he accepted.

They entered Jack's place and Ennis turned to Jack, smiling a little. "Come here, darlin'..." He pulled Jack close and rubbed his back, inhaling the familiar scent. "You gonna be okay?" he asked, hoping to inject some warmth into his body.

Jack leaned into him and nodded against him. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just...kind of getting to me right now. I did everything I could...up to them now. I'll know by Friday, one way or the other."

"Alright...you want some lunch?" Jack nodded again and they broke apart, Jack walking through to the bathroom and Ennis to the kitchen. He looked around in the cupboards and found some chicken soup, so filled up the kettle and switched it on. He then got some orange juice out of the fridge and poured it into two glasses, thinking about Jack and everything he had to put up with lately. It broke his heart to know how much it was hurting his beloved Jack, and he wasn't sure what to do for him.

A pair of arms slid around his stomach and he smiled, leaning back. "Hey..."

"Hey, bud. Thanks for taking care of things..."

"No problem, darlin'. Just glad I can do something for you." He turned himself in Jack's arms and faced him. "No matter what the others decide..." he started, putting his arms around Jack's neck. "I'm always gonna be here for you. I promise, Jack."

Jack smiled and kissed him warmly. "I know. Thank you, Ennis...I love you."

"Love you too." They prised apart and Ennis got the soup ready, pouring the water into the bowls of powder. The two of them took their lunch to the table and sat down, sighing in unison.

"So," started Ennis. "If they aren't comfortable with you being around, you'll leave?"

Jack nodded. "Guess so. I don't wanna be around them if things are just gonna be like this. I'm starting to hate that place, to be honest." Ennis covered Jack's free hand with his own.

"I know. Hate seeing you like this, Jack. You're miserable there...might be better for you to quit anyway, no matter what they decide."

"Yeah, maybe...we'll see. Maybe I should just leave. You're right; I don't like it there anymore." He looked down into his soup. "I guess...it's probably the right thing to do."

Ennis nodded, squeezing his hand. They finished their lunch and Ennis cleared the dishes away, before taking Jack's hand and leading him to the bedroom. He intended for Jack to get some much-needed rest.

They lay down on top of the covers and stretched off, throwing off their sneakers and sighing. Ennis set the alarm so that they wouldn't be late for the afternoon shift and nudged at Jack. "Roll on your side, darlin'." Jack did so and Ennis spooned up behind him, curling around him protectively and rubbing his stomach. "Are you okay?"

Jack didn't answer at first; he was tired of it all. "I don't know...not really. I just...I can't take much more of it, Ennis. I'm so tired of it all...being shunned because of something I can't control. Why can't they come up with a cure already? The pandemic was twenty years ago, and there's nothing to get rid of it. I just...want the damn thing out of me." His voice broke at the end, and he started trembling. Ennis leaned up on his elbow and looked down at him, hearing the sorrow.

"Darlin'...don't get all upset. They're not worth it. Come on..." Jack shook and Ennis saw a tear leak out of his eye. He felt a surge of pain for the man lying with him.

"Shit...I shouldn't let it get to me," Jack groaned, screwing his eyes shut. "Shouldn't be so weak..."

"You're not weak..." Ennis told him, rubbing his arm. "Come on, turn back over." He pulled Jack onto his back and made him meet his eyes. "You are not weak," he told Jack firmly. "You hear me?"

"I...I don't know..." Jack said unsurely. "They get to me and I shouldn't let them..."

"Baby," Ennis murmured, stroking Jack's face. "I think you have to leave that place. Look what it's doing to you...I don't like seeing you hurting. There's not a lot I can do to help, and...I don't like that, either."

Jack wound his arms up around Ennis's neck, smiling through his tear-filled eyes. "I love you...and it doesn't matter how much or how little you can do for me. You have no idea what it means to me that you're still here, supporting me. No matter what happens at work, I know that I'll be with you at the end of the day, and we'll end up in the same place, either here or at your place. And no matter how much it hurts me to be around them...it always lifts my spirits to know that I'll see you after work."

Ennis straddled Jack and leaned down, nuzzling him. "Good. I'll always be here, Jack. I promise."

"You know what I said about you, while I was talking to them?" Jack asked, suddenly remembering. Ennis raised his eyebrows. "I told them that you were my rock through all of this. And it's true...you've been wonderful." Ennis smiled.

"Oh, darlin'...I love you so much. Can I show you?" he asked hopefully. Jack nodded and smiled.

"Sure..." They slowly undressed each other and slid under the covers, Ennis preparing himself and lifting Jack's legs around his waist. He pushed himself in very gently and made love to Jack as tenderly as he could, trying to tell him without words how much he loved him and that he wasn't going anywhere. He vowed to stand by Jack regardless of what happened, and to be his rock.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_December 11th, 2009_

On Friday, Jack dreaded going into work. It was crunch time and today he would find out the results of the anonymous paper ballot that his workmates had submitted to all week. Jack knew in his heart that he would probably end up quitting anyway. Ennis was right; he was starting to become miserable there and knew it would be best if he left.

Before they left, Ennis had held him close and told him it would be alright, and that he would always be here for him. Jack appreciated the support and knew that he could rely on Ennis to help him.

He entered his boss's office, once more ignoring the stares and whispers. He couldn't even look at the girls who used to be his friends. When he knocked on the door, he heard his boss telling him to come in, and entered.

"Jack, hey. Have a seat." Jack did so and Charles saw a man who looked like he was heading to the gallows. "Well...I have the results of the ballot. Are you ready?"

"I guess."

"Well, as you know, excluding yourself there are thirty-two staff working here. And the results...well...they're not really in your favour." He paused, knowing that this would hurt Jack. "We have...five wanting you to stay, and the rest wanting you to go."

Jack squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the feeling of being shot through the heart. "Right..."

"I'm so sorry, Jack. I had no idea there was this much animosity towards you. Will you be okay?"

He opened his eyes and nodded, trying to put on a brave face. "Yeah, I'll be fine. So...when's the best time to leave? Now?"

"Unfortunately, it might be a good idea to stay another week. You'll have to if you want the Christmas bonus. But I'll sign you off, and you'll be free to go after that."

"Alright, one more week. But then I'm out of here. I can't take much more of this. I wonder who those five are...?"

"There's no way of knowing; it was anonymous for a reason, so that people couldn't make their...displeasure known. Anyway, I'm truly sorry that you've had to go through this. Have you any other job options?"

Jack shrugged. "Figured I'd go for a shift at the coffee place where Lureen works or something. Or maybe at the bar where another friend works."

Charles nodded. "Good. At least you have other possibilities. You're not short on cash, are you? To buy your medication?"

"No, I'm fine. My boyfriend said he'd help out if I needed it."

"He sounds like a fine man, Jack. You be sure to keep hold of someone like that."

Jack smiled in spite of himself. "I sure will. So...I'll work for another week, and then I'm going."

"Alright. Take yourself a little break if you want." Jack left the office, intending to try and call Ennis and talk to him for a few minutes.

He stepped outside the staff entrance and pulled out his cell phone, selecting Ennis's number and leaning against the wall, waiting.

"Jack?"

"Hey, bud. Just wanted to let you know how it went."

Ennis was silent for a moment. "Yeah?"

"Well...my boss said there's thirty-two other people working here, and that...five of them voted for me to stay." A lump grew in his throat.

"Just five?" Ennis repeated in disbelief, hardly able to believe it. "Oh, darlin'...I'm so sorry. What did your boss say?"

"He asked me to stay for one more week so that I can get the Christmas bonus, but then I can leave. I'll just have to suck it up for another week."

"Right. But don't forget, bud...next week we're off to New York, remember?"

Jack brightened as he remembered their upcoming trip. "Yeah, that's true. I can't wait..."

"Me neither. Listen, Jack...there's something I've been meaning to say about all this."

"What?" Jack asked softly, knowing that Ennis was about to reveal some deep feelings inside him.

"Those other guys, shunning you just because you're positive...they're not worth worrying over. They obviously forgot what a wonderful man you are. You're really brave for sticking with it through all this, and I want you to know...I'm really proud of you."

Jack smiled, a warm feeling fluttering in his chest. "Ennis...that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I love you, baby."

"I love you too...so much. You're braver than you give yourself credit for, Jack. Don't ever forget that. Alright, I've gotta go, but...you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. See you at lunch? Coffee place?"

"You bet." They clicked off and Jack went back inside, glancing around. He saw the group of girls that he'd once befriended, and noticed that there were five of them. When they weren't looking, he regarded them curiously, wondering if they were the five that had voted for him to stay.

_Even if they were, it doesn't mean anything. They still won't talk to me or come near me. So...let's say it was them. They want me to stay, but will go on ignoring me if I do. Go figure._

Shaking his head, Jack made to carry on walking, until one of them called his name. "Jack..." He turned and saw that they were all now looking at him. "We, um...we're sorry about all this."

He shrugged. "I don't care either way. You've all been giving me the silent treatment these past few weeks, ever since Darren did what he did. Silence speaks volumes, and I know that I'm not wanted here. I'm gonna stay one more week to get the bonus, but then I'm out of here. You won't have to worry about getting infected if I sneeze or something." Jack knew he was being hateful, but he felt like he had the right to after everything that these so-called friends of his had done.

He turned on his heel and prepared for the first customers of the day, determined to see through the final week before he could move on.

* * *

Jack saw through the morning well enough, knowing that he'd made his statement with his workmates and that they knew how he felt about their treatment of him. That was enough for him, and he couldn't help but smirk to himself about it.

At last, lunchtime arrived and he was heading for the coffee place to meet up with Ennis, feeling a little more comfortable and confident than he had been lately. He entered the building and spied Ennis in their booth, drinking a coffee and reading a newspaper. Jack strode over to him and planted a kiss on his mouth, Ennis making a surprised sound from the unexpected gesture and melting into it.

Jack pulled his lips away and grinned at Ennis. "Hey, baby." Ennis couldn't help but smile back; Jack's wide grin was infectious.

"Hey yourself, darlin'," Ennis replied as Jack sat down. "You're in a good mood, considering."

"Well, I had a little word for those girls I used to be friends with. They said they were sorry for giving me the cold shoulder, so...I just told them I didn't care anymore; that I was leaving. I called them out on it, and told them they didn't need to worry about becoming infected just by being near me or if I sneeze. That seemed to shut them up."

Ennis nodded. "Good, Jack. That's the way to deal with it, and not let them get to you." He slid his hand over to cover Jack's and squeezed it. "Meant what I said before...you're really brave for going through this as well as you have. I'm proud of you."

Jack smiled wider. "Thank you, Ennis..." He cleared his throat. "So...only a week until we're off to New York. I can't wait..."

"Me neither, bud. I, um...I was looking at the website of the hotel before...they're having a Christmas party on Christmas Eve." They would be staying at The Hudson, and their room would have a view of Central Park. "Do you wanna go?" Jack nodded.

"Sure, sounds great. And we're going to Times Square for New Year's, right?"

"Yep. When do you wanna meet up with your mom?"

"Not sure when she'd be available. And she'd have to leave when my dad's out. I'll call her once we're there."

"What about your dad?" Ennis asked tentatively, and Jack shrugged.

"I don't know. I can still remember what he said to me when they found out I'm positive...it was horrible. I don't think he'd want to talk to me." Lureen brought a coffee over to Jack and he smiled his thanks.

"Maybe you could talk to your mom about it," Ennis suggested. "You never know, he might have mellowed by now...it's been five years."

"Yeah, maybe. Anyway...how's things over at the vet's?"

"Um, pretty much normal. But there's this dog that had to be neutered. I didn't have to do it, but I was helping out." He smirked. "Felt sorry for the poor thing."

"Yeah...don't think I could live without mine," Jack agreed, grinning again. "I know you love it..."

Ennis went a little red. "True enough..."

"I love yours, too," Jack went on matter-of-factly, smiling at him. They continued to drink their coffee and Lureen came back over.

"You guys want something to eat?" she asked them, pad and pen in hand.

"Um...what do you want?" Jack asked Ennis, and he shrugged.

"How about one of those paninis? Ham okay?" Jack nodded and Lureen wrote it down, walking away. He smiled at Ennis and they linked hands again, smiling at each other and thinking.

The pair of them ate their lunch together, talking about the upcoming trip. There was so much they wanted to see and do, and they would have enough to fill up their two weeks until they had to return.

"How are you feeling about going into Central Park?" Ennis asked, looking at Jack warily. Jack paused before answering.

"I think...it might be okay. You'll be there with me, and...that guy probably isn't even around anymore. Like you said, it was five years ago..." Ennis squeezed his hand again.

"Yeah. I've been meaning to ask you...did that guy ever get caught?"

Jack shook his head. "No. I never saw his face, so I couldn't identify him. And it was in a dense area, early in the morning...no witnesses." He looked down into his coffee, thinking. "So...I don't know who it was that did this to me."

"Oh, darlin'..." Ennis sighed. "Sorry to bring it up...I know you don't like thinking about it."

"It's okay, bud. I have to learn to talk about this, or it'll haunt me forever." He looked up at Ennis. "I...I wanna make some kind of life with you, Ennis. Maybe here, or if we ever decide to move. I want us to be together. And...I don't want my past to hang over that; if it does, then this won't work, as much as I love you. I have to learn to get over it, both the attack and the HIV. Then I can focus on you and me. Living together...maybe getting married if we can...a place of our own...hell, maybe even kids one day. I want all that with you, one day..."

Ennis nodded. Jack's ideas for the future together were putting wonderful images in his head. He could just imagine living that sweet life with Jack. "Darlin'...I want all that too. All that stuff you just said. I'd like us to...be partners, or whatever it's called. And...I'll do whatever it takes to help you get over everything. I promise." Jack smiled at him.

"Thank you. I love you so much..." he murmured, looking deeply into Ennis's honey-coloured eyes, warm and familiar.

"Love you too." They returned to their lunch, thinking about what a real life together might be like; where might they end up living? Would they have some kind of ceremony? What about children? The prospect was a little scary, but they couldn't wait to find out what the future held for them.

* * *

_December 15th, 2009_

Three days before he and Jack were due to leave for New York, Ennis received a call from his mother. It was the first time they'd spoken in so long, the memories of that disastrous dinner still fresh in his mind.

It had started out as an ordinary day. He and Jack had been packing things that they would need for their trip that they didn't need beforehand, and they were excitedly talking about everything they would do while they were there.

Jack's remaining week at the store was going okay. He still got stares and the silent treatment from most of his co-workers, but he just kept reminding himself that after this week, he was free to go. Once he and Ennis returned from their trip, he could start looking for another job. In college, his major had been economics, so he figured he would like to start working for a business of some kind, maybe some office work.

But one thing that he did know was that he was truly grateful to Ennis for standing by him and helping him out throughout the entire fiasco with what Darren had done, and the backlash. He just hoped that he could find some way of paying Ennis back for his unwavering love and support, and he vowed that when things settled down, he would try his best to make Ennis happy; it was all he had to give.

The pair of them were at his place on Tuesday evening, eating their dinner, when Ennis's phone rang. "It's my mom," he said in surprise, looking at Jack.

"Oh...you gonna answer?" Ennis nodded and shakily pressed the button, bringing the phone to his ear. He hadn't spoken to either of his parents in weeks; hadn't wanted to hear anything they might have to say.

"Hey, mom."

"Ennis...sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm fine. We both are," he told her, looking over at Jack.

"Are you...still seeing Jack?" she asked, and he thought he could still hear a trace of disapproval in her voice.

"Yeah, I am. It's going really well, and we're happy."

"Okay. Look, I know you wanted to go to your uncle's for Thanksgiving. They told us when we went over there. I'm sorry you couldn't join us."

"That's because of what you and dad did to Jack when we came for dinner," Ennis reminded her, almost bristling. "You really hurt his feelings, especially when you suggested to me that I break up with him."

"Ennis, we're both sorry. We're your parents; we're only trying to protect you."

"I'm twenty-seven, mom. I can take care of myself."

"Well...I was wondering...are we going to see you over the holidays?"

Ennis took Jack's hand, squeezing for comfort. "No. We're going to New York for the two weeks we have off. We'll be there for Christmas and New Year's. We both need a break."

His mother sighed. "Oh, honey...I sure wish we could see you..."

"Mom...we need to get away. Jack's had a real bad couple of weeks at work." He glanced at Jack, who nodded his permission. "A workmate of his used the microphone there to expose his HIV to everybody in the store, and now people won't even go near him. How do you think that makes him feel?"

She was silent for a long moment. "I'm sorry. Is he...okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He's leaving the store after this week; gonna look for something else."

"Alright. Um...when will we see you?" she asked hopefully, and Ennis sighed.

"I don't know. After what you said that day...I'm not sure I want you near Jack ever again. I have to look after him and put his needs first."

"Okay," she relented. "Well...you have our number, if you ever wanna talk."

"Yep, bye." He clicked off and put his phone on the table, sighing. Jack squeezed his fingers.

"You alright?" he asked gently, and Ennis shrugged.

"Don't know. If they hadn't said all that stuff...maybe I could have gone back up there sometime. Maybe both of us could. But they did, and...I can't just forget it, you know?"

Jack nodded. "I know. I feel the same about my dad, and what he said to me when I told them I'm positive. On the one hand, they're our parents, so some part of us is always gonna love them. But on the other...things have been said that can't be unsaid, right?"

"Yeah. Like we're just supposed to forgive and forget. I don't know..." Ennis returned to his dinner, eating one-handed. "I don't know if I can ever forgive them..."

"It's okay if you can't," Jack said softly, stroking Ennis's knuckles with his thumb. "Nobody expects you to." He released Ennis's hand and lifted his chin, making him meet his eyes. "Just remember...it doesn't matter in the long run if we're estranged from our parents. The important thing is...we're together, and we'll always have each other."

Ennis nodded. "I know, darlin'." They carried on eating and then washed up together, Jack splashing Ennis with the water and having his ass cracked with the towel in retaliation.

When they were finally done, they brought their beers into the living room and curled up on the sofa, switching on an evening movie. Ennis had his arm around Jack and was stroking his hair gently, marvelling at its thick texture and how soft it felt. Jack smiled and rested his head on Ennis's shoulder, feeling warm and comfortable. Ennis made him feel incredible every time they did something intimate together, whether it was when they were having sex or just doing something like this. With the weather getting colder, they both appreciated these moments all the more.

"Love you," Jack murmured, a little drowsy. Ennis squeezed him.

"Love you too, darlin'. You wanna go lie down?"

"Okay...but we're not going to sleep yet," Jack replied, looking at him with a devilish grin and a twinkle in his eye. Ennis couldn't help but smile at the implication.

"Sure enough."

* * *

_December 18th, 2009_

It was the last day of work before they were going on their trip, and Jack's last ever day at the electrical store. He looked a lot better than he had done lately, and Ennis noticed it. He was glad to see Jack smiling again, and knew that leaving the store would be good for him. He could take the time to find a job that he liked, where he could start over.

They woke up together and spent a few minutes rolling around in bed before getting up and seeing to breakfast. The two of them would be coming back here after work and grabbing something to eat. The flight was at seven and they had to be there for four at least; they would both be getting out of work early today, with it being the holidays.

Ennis walked Jack to the entrance of the park, holding his gloved hand as they crunched through the snow. He was reluctant to let go of Jack so soon, but they would be seeing each other earlier than usual, and then they would have two whole weeks together to enjoy. There would be no stares or nasty comments, and everything would be okay. And he would be with Ennis; that was the main thing to be happy about.

"So...I'll see you at lunch, then?" Ennis asked, looking down into Jack's beloved face and sighing. Jack nodded; he hated being away from Ennis, but this was necessary.

"Yep. We'll have one of those paninis or something." They leaned in and kissed warmly, Jack sliding his hands up Ennis's chest and around his neck, while Ennis massaged his ass, smiling into the kiss. They finally prised apart, adjusting their jeans at the front and grinning sheepishly. "Well, that went well..."

Ennis nodded. "Yeah. So, um...I'll see you later."

"Yep." They kissed again and went their separate ways, already counting down the time until they would be together again.

Jack arrived at work, smiling defiantly and ignoring any stares he might be attracting. Just this one last day, and he would be free. He knew he could get through this; he just kept thinking of Ennis's face and those arms being around him.

He went to his station and stretched, looking around to see if any of his workmates were watching him. He spied the girls talking amongst themselves, but paid them no mind.

Charles came up to him, looking sympathetic. "Hey, Jack. Bet you're looking forward to getting out of here, huh?" he asked knowingly.

"Sure am. You're a great boss, Charlie. And a great guy. But...I can't work here anymore. They're driving me crazy. I'm not going to let it get to me now; I've got too much going on to be worrying about this. Got a trip starting today, after work. Me and my boyfriend are going to New York for two weeks."

"That sounds great, Jack. I hope you have a good time. The Christmas bonus should be in your bank account by midnight, so you'll be okay for a while. I've written your reference and you've got the number on your résumé, right?"

"Yeah, I have. So...guess the first customers will be here soon, right?"

"Yeah. Have a good day, Jack. Can you stop by my office at the end of the day?"

"Sure." Charles left him to it and walked off, leaving Jack to think.

Meanwhile, Ennis was busy at the vet's, and he approached Sarah, the receptionist. "Hey."

"Oh, hey Ennis. How's it going?"

"Just thought you'd want to know...Jack's leaving his job because of what happened." He shifted. "He's been miserable these past few weeks, so this'll be good for him."

She nodded. "You're going on a trip, right?"

"Yep. New York, for two weeks. I'm looking forward to it, and I think he is." He smiled a little. "We both need a break from all of this."

"Sounds great. I hope you have a good time." She smiled sincerely and went back to her typing. He went off to prepare for the morning shift, thinking about Jack and their upcoming trip. Hopefully it would go well, and that Jack wouldn't be too scared of going near the park. Maybe they would wait a few days before doing that, to ease Jack into being back in the city. All he wanted was to make sure that Jack was comfortable and he would do anything to achieve that.

The morning flew by and before they knew it, they were due to meet at lunch. Ennis was passing by the park just as Jack left it, and they moved into each other's arms.

"Hey, baby," Jack greeted Ennis, a grin on his face. "How're you doing?"

"Hey, darlin'," Ennis replied, kissing him deeply and swaying them a little. "I'm okay, how about you? Not had any trouble?"

"No, it's fine. Charlie said the bonus would be in my bank by midnight...just about the time we land, I reckon. I can't wait...it'll be our first real trip together. You and me..."

Ennis nodded. "Yeah. Gonna kiss you at midnight, in Times Square..." Jack smiled and kissed him.

"Sounds good to me. And remember what I said about Christmas? Finding me under the tree naked with a big red bow? I think I can manage it." Ennis went red.

"Um...sounds good. Wanna go get some lunch?" Jack nodded and they pulled apart, holding hands as they headed for the coffee place. They swung their hands as they walked, talking about their morning and what they would have for dinner.

When they were sat in their booth, they busied themselves with kissing over the table, occasionally breaking apart to rub noses and smile at each other. They looked like a happy couple in love, which was exactly what they were. Lureen couldn't help but smile at them as she watched, unwilling to disturb them.

"I love you," Jack murmured, kissing Ennis's cheek. Ennis smiled back.

"Love you too, darlin'."

* * *

They were let out of work at two, which allowed them a couple of hours until they had to get to the airport. Both of them were looking forward to this trip and couldn't wait to be in New York, even Jack. He knew he would be just fine with Ennis by his side.

The two of them met up at the entrance to the park and walked back to Ennis's place, hands clasped between them. They'd already said goodbye to the girls and entered Ennis's apartment. Jack turned to Ennis.

"So, what do you want to eat? Maybe some sandwiches and chips?" Ennis nodded.

"Sounds great. I'll get us a beer." They would be taking a cab to the airport. Jack busied himself with ham sandwiches and pouring chips into a bowl, bringing it all over to the table for them. They sat down and stretched, their legs resting against each other's.

"Are we going straight to bed when we get there?" Ennis asked, looking up at Jack. He shrugged and nodded.

"Guess so. It'll be midnight by the time we get there, and we'll be on the flight for five hours...I'd be pretty tired by then."

Ennis nodded. "Wait...have you packed some meds?" he asked, looking a little alarmed that Jack might have forgotten. Jack placed a reassuring hand over his.

"Don't worry, it's fine. I got a fresh supply this week, and I've packed enough of everything for two weeks. They're going in my carry-on; I don't want anybody sniffing around through my luggage and confiscating them or something." He was truly touched by Ennis's concern for his health, and he knew that he'd found a good man.

"That's good," Ennis conceded, worry dissipating. "Sure don't want anything happening to you..." Jack squeezed his hand and they carried on eating.

At quarter past three, the cab was on its way and the pair of them were getting ready, taking last minute bathroom trips and dragging their suitcases to the door. Jack double-checked that he had his meds, and also made sure that he'd packed plenty of lube and condoms, which had made Ennis blush and grin.

They headed downstairs and out onto the street, shivering a little in the cold and waiting for the cab. Ennis ran a warming hand up and down Jack's back. The cab arrived and they got in, grinning at each other with excitement.

"This is it," Jack said, looking at Ennis with pure love in his eyes. "Our first trip together." Ennis kissed his hand.

"Sure is, darlin'."

At the airport, they checked in and settled themselves on the chairs, knowing they had a while to go before they could board. They played cards and talked for a while, and Jack eventually fell asleep with his head on Ennis's leg, stretched out across the seats. At six, they were allowed through to the boarding area where they could get something to eat.

As they ate their shared pizza, they watched the overhead TV and half-listened to snatches of conversation from other travellers. This was all so exciting and new to them, even though they had both flown before; it felt different because they were doing this together.

At last, at quarter to seven, they were allowed to go to their gate and board the plane. Jack had discreetly placed a condom in his pocket, hoping to coax Ennis into joining the Mile High Club with him.

When they were seated, they smiled at each other again and laced their fingers together, too lost in their love to care about stares or whisperings. This wasn't illegal, and they weren't being inappropriate. Jack looked at Ennis, biting his lip seductively.

"Ennis...?"

"Hmm?"

"You ever heard of the Mile High Club?" he asked, eyes alight with lust. Ennis's eyes widened and he gulped.

"Uh...yeah...but we...we can't. We'd get caught for sure..."

"Not if we're careful," Jack replied, leaning closer. "You wanna?" he purred, breath tickling Ennis's ear. He just loved seducing his man. Ennis slowly nodded.

"Okay...you go in first." Jack kissed his cheek and got up, making sure to wiggle his ass at Ennis, who felt himself growing hard in response. _Little tease...gonna give him what for._

When five minutes had elapsed, he snuck into the bathroom after Jack and they got down to business, trying to keep their moans on the quiet side as Ennis thrust into his lover, pushing him up against the wall.

"Oh, fuck," Jack breathed, gritting his teeth as Ennis pushed in further, finding the sweet spot. "Oh God, I love you..."

"Love you too," Ennis ground out, shaking and soon crossing the finish line, Jack not far behind.

They returned to their seats, Jack walking a little funny, and didn't care if anybody was watching. At ten, the lights were lowered and they snuggled under a blanket together, hazily watching the TV at the front. Soon after, Jack fell asleep against Ennis, head against his shoulder. Ennis rested his head against Jack's and closed his eyes.

The attendant woke them up gently when they were nearing JFK Airport, telling them that the flight would be over soon. Ennis had already booked a cab to pick them up outside the airport. When they landed, they walked hand in hand out of the gate and to baggage claim, still drowsy from the flight and late hour.

It was almost one in the morning when they finally reached the hotel; luckily there were staff on the night shift at the front desk to check them in. Up on the tenth floor, they barely looked at the room, figuring it could wait until they'd had some sleep. They used the bathroom and stripped off, tiredly moving into each other's arms.

"Glad we're here," Jack murmured, voice thick with tiredness. Ennis kissed his temple.

"Me too, darlin'. Let's get some sleep; got a big day tomorrow."

"Mmmhmm. Night, Ennis."

"Night, Jack." They both closed their eyes and were soon drifting off, thoroughly looking forward to what the next two weeks might bring.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_December 19th, 2009_

Ennis and Jack woke up at eight, still entwined around each other. Having missed out on sex the night before due to exhaustion, they made up for it by taking a shower together and Jack pushing into Ennis, kissing his neck and jerking him off as he thrust into him.

When they finally emerged from the room, they headed down through the hotel in search of breakfast, Jack's hand slipping easily into Ennis's without a thought. They treated themselves at the buffet, which was already paid for as long as they stayed here. As they ate, Jack examined their list of things that they wanted to do.

"What are we doing first?" he asked, and Ennis shrugged.

"Whatever you wanna do, bud. You wanna call your mom and tell her we're here?" Jack nodded.

"Yeah, I will. How about we just go for a walk somewhere, and see what we can find? I can't remember everything that's around here..." Ennis made an approving sound and they carried on eating, already excited by the prospect of exploring the city. Even Jack was looking forward to getting to know it all again.

After breakfast, they left the hotel and picked a street at random, walking around and seeing the sights of the city. Ennis wondered how Jack was feeling about being back here, but he seemed okay. Jack was remembering the good parts of living in the city; there was always something to do, and it was buzzing with life.

They found themselves at the Hell's Kitchen flea market, and strolled through, looking at the various wares. Jack found a beautiful sweater for his mother that would be perfect for Christmas. Ennis had decided to take her a bunch of flowers as a peace offering, even though Jack had reassured him that she was a lovely woman and that she wanted to meet him.

As they walked around, Jack's cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. "It's my mom," he said to Ennis, who nodded. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, Jack. You're here now, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah. We got in about midnight; just walking around now."

"Oh, that's great. So when can I see you?"

"Um...I don't know. We're still a little tired...maybe tomorrow. When's dad working?"

"He is working tomorrow, but I'm coming into the city anyway to do some shopping. I can't wait to see you, sweetie."

Jack smiled in spite of himself. "Me neither, mom. Where do you wanna meet?"

"How about Birch Coffee? You always liked it there. About twelve?"

"Sounds great. See you tomorrow, mom."

"Bye, Jack." He clicked off and turned to Ennis.

"That's it, then. We're meeting my mom at twelve tomorrow, at Birch Coffee. It's on East 27th, around midtown. I remember where it is."

Ennis nodded. "Sounds good." He looked around. "What are we doing next?"

"Um...you feel like going to a museum? The Museum of Modern Art isn't far from here."

"Okay." Ennis was a little overwhelmed at all of it; the city had a different kind of energy from San Francisco and he couldn't wait to see what else they might do while they were here.

They made their way to the museum, eager to get out of the cold. Jack pointed out that there was a café where they could have lunch when they were done, and the two of them made their way through. It was utterly silent in here except for footsteps, and they held hands as they walked, murmuring in wonder at the art around them, both paintings and sculptures. It was all very abstract; not the kind of art one would see in the usual museums.

"Look at that," Jack said suddenly, pointing at a vibrant multicoloured hanging on the wall. "A lot of work sure went into that one, huh?"

"Yeah..." Ennis leaned closer. "It's by...Alighiero Boetti. Called 'Tutto', which means 'Everything'." He looked at Jack. "Sure is something."

Jack tilted his head. "Strange...the guy made this, and called it everything. But...you know something? I look at you, and I see my everything." His eyes sparkled at Ennis, who blushed.

"Same here, Jack. You...you're my everything too."

They had lunch in one of the cafés after walking around a little more, eating from a small tray of sandwiches and chips, with a side salad. Jack smiled across at Ennis as they ate.

"I'm really enjoying this so far, Ennis," he said sincerely. "I mean...even though I love living in San Francisco...I like being back here. Apart from Central Park and everything that happened, I always liked living here."

"Yeah, I can tell." Ennis tilted his head. "Do you still think of here as home?"

Jack thought for a moment. "Not really. Not after everything. I think of San Francisco as home now. Where I met you. Where we live..."

Ennis smiled. "Right. What about...in the future? Are we...gonna live together someday?"

Jack nodded slowly, liking the idea. "Yeah, one day. I can see it happening for us...maybe this year. Things are going well for us. I'd like to live with you, bud. Maybe in a few months, we can start to talk about it properly. Make plans."

"Will we live in the city? Or maybe move?" Ennis asked.

"I don't know, bud. I think I'd like to stay a little longer, since I haven't been there long. Maybe when we...I don't know...turn thirty or something, we could move and settle down somewhere."

Ennis nodded, seeing visions before his eyes. Where would they settle and make a life together? Would they perhaps have a cosy house, in the suburbs or the country? Would they ever get married, legally or otherwise? Would they somehow have kids? Would they get pets? There were so many things he wanted to know, and so many ideas for their life together, that he couldn't wait to find out what might happen. He knew that he would be spending the rest of his life with Jack, and that was enough to tide him over for now.

* * *

The two of them walked around some more through the afternoon, Jack running into a few of his old classmates from college and introducing them to Ennis. He wanted to show off his wonderful man to everybody he used to know; he loved Ennis so much and would shout it from the rooftops if he could. But he knew that such behaviour might land him in trouble.

Still, when they returned to the hotel, they were tired but happy. Their first day in the city together had been fun, and they couldn't wait to do it all again tomorrow.

Ennis wasn't sure how he felt about the prospect of meeting Jack's mother. She was, by all accounts, a very nice woman who had struggled at first with who Jack was and what had happened to him. When he looked at it like that, he could understand it; she'd only ever wanted the best for her son. She'd wanted him to live a long, healthy and happy life, so it made some kind of sense that she had struggled to adjust to such changes.

He thought about all this as they ate dinner in the hotel restaurant, their faces glowing in the dim candlelight around them. The two of them were sharing a large plate of spaghetti and meatballs. It was a very romantic setting and if Ennis hadn't already been in love with Jack, he could see himself falling for Jack right here.

_Come to think of it, _he thought with a slight smile, _I reckon I am falling for him a little more than I already did. _With this thought, he reached across the table with his free hand and took Jack's, lacing their fingers together. Jack smiled.

"What's all this?" he asked softly, squeezing Ennis's fingers.

"Just thinking...if I hadn't already fallen for you, I could see it happening right here."

Jack nodded, looking around. "Sure is romantic."

"And then I got to thinking...maybe I am falling for you a little more than I was," Ennis continued, looking deeply into Jack's eyes. "I just...I'm really enjoying this, Jack. Being here with you."

Jack's smile widened. "I am too." They returned to their food, looking forward to the night ahead.

When they returned to their room, Jack shut and locked the door behind them and moved into Ennis's arms, kissing him.

"Mmm, alone at last..."

"Uh huh," Ennis mumbled through their kisses as Jack walked him backwards to the bed. They sank down onto it, their kisses deepening and hands wandering. Jack was quickly tugging at Ennis's clothes, pulling his jacket off and throwing it to the corner. Ennis returned the favour, removing Jack's coat and pulling at the hem of his sweater. "Mmm, c'mere..."

Jack's eyes were half-closed and his mouth open with lust as they undressed each other, the pile of clothes growing until they were naked. He wanted Ennis inside him and soon; felt as if he would burst if he didn't get it. They crawled up the bed and under the sheets, a warm cocoon surrounding them both. Ennis rolled himself on top of Jack and settled between his legs, getting comfortable. As he looked down at Jack, his gaze was filled with pure adoration for the man underneath him. Jack saw the gaze and touched Ennis's face.

"I love you," he whispered, and Ennis kissed his fingers. "I love you so much..."

"Love you too," Ennis murmured, leaning down to nuzzle Jack's neck. "You wanna?"

"Hell yeah," Jack replied, turning his head so that Ennis could reach more of his neck, now kissing it softly. "Want you inside me..." Ennis nodded and rose up, grabbing the lube from the nightstand and a condom from the drawer. He prepared himself and nudged Jack's legs wider apart, anticipation filling him up as he headed for his version of heaven. At the last minute, he remembered to put a rubber on Jack, for when he had his release. It was just good sense to cover Jack up.

He started to push in and Jack bit his lip, lifting his hips to help and wrapping his legs around Ennis' waist. They slowly connected and became one, their breath coming out in short pants.

"Oh God..." Jack sighed, falling back to the pillow and closing his eyes. Ennis leaned over him and rested his top half on Jack's chest.

"You ready, darlin'?" Jack could only nod, and Ennis began to slowly move inside him, slow yet steady strokes that he knew drove Jack crazy. Jack was making soft moans underneath him, and Ennis couldn't help but kiss him, drawing his tongue out and curling it around his own.

They moved together in a steady rhythm, kissing and trying to hold each other even closer, as if they were trying to meld themselves into one. Ennis pushed in deeper, changing the angle to try and find the sweet spot. Jack was in heaven, pure bliss flowing through him as it always did whenever they did this. It felt good, to be doing this with Ennis just a short distance away from where he'd been attacked; like he was somehow saying 'fuck you' to the guy and the memories of the day. It proved that he hadn't been beaten; that he'd bounced back and survived with the love of a good man. Ennis was here, inside him and all around him, and that was the most important thing right now.

He pulled Ennis onto his lips, kissing him fervently as if trying to tell him without words how much it meant that he was here. Ennis seemed to understand, thrusting deeper and quicker until Jack was shooting, shaking and moaning until Ennis followed suit, groaning. Ennis collapsed onto him, seeing stars and a little dizzy.

"God, Jack...darlin'..."

"Hmm..." Jack smiled and rubbed Ennis's back. "Better take those off..."

"Yeah..." They removed the rubbers and, unable to get up right now, they tied them shut and tossed them onto the nightstand. Ennis sank back down onto Jack and they were soon sound asleep.

* * *

The next day, Ennis and Jack ate breakfast in the hotel restaurant once more, talking over their plans for the day. They would be meeting Jack's mother at twelve, but had the rest of the day to themselves.

Ennis was nervous about meeting Jack's mother, as her son's boyfriend. Jack had reassured him that everything would be okay; she was a wonderful woman who was trying her best to adjust to the major changes in Jack's life.

"It'll be okay, you know," Jack told him, smiling encouragingly as they walked through the city, hand in hand. "She'll be fine."

"I know," Ennis replied, trying to relax. They looked around some stores for a while, and did some more shopping, until it was time to prepare for meeting Jack's mom. When they were in their room, they had time for a quick tumble under the sheets, laughing and rolling around.

They gathered their presents and flowers for Jack's mother. Ennis had bought her a silver bracelet that Jack had told him she would love. He was still nervous, but tried not to dwell on it too much as they headed for Bistro Coffee on East 27th, to meet Jack's mother for lunch.

When they got there, Jack spied his mother waiting for them in the corner, smiling when she saw her son. "Jack..."

Jack grinned, heading for her with Ennis right behind him, and he hugged her warmly. "Hey, mom..."

She was very pretty; in her forties by the look of it, with short red hair at her shoulders and the blue eyes that she had clearly passed onto Jack. "Hey, sweetie..."

Jack moved to the side and gestured to Ennis. "Mom...this is Ennis Del Mar."

"Oh, the famous boyfriend," she said, smiling and extending a hand. "Hi, I'm Karen Twist."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," Ennis replied, smiling and relieved that she was being so welcoming. "Um...these are for you," he said, holding out the flowers, and she smiled wider.

"Oh, thank you, Ennis. Come on, have a seat..." They sat down and she looked at the packages curiously. "What are those?"

"Um, they're for you, mom," Jack said, passing them to her. "For Christmas."

She nodded. "Thank you. So, how are things on the West Coast?"

"Alright. Friday was my last day; I'm gonna look for something else when we get back. I just couldn't take it any longer...they were driving me mad."

"I can understand that." A waitress came over and took their orders, and then she carried on talking. "So, Ennis...you work at a vet's office, right?"

"Yep. Been there since I graduated. So...just over four years now."

She smiled. "I'm really glad that you and Jack got together. I was worried about him for the longest time." She turned to her son. "Jack...when you came back here a few months ago...you were so broken. I wondered if I'd ever see you smile again. So when you told me that you were seeing someone, and that he was really good to you and made you happy...I was so relieved."

Jack smiled back and took Ennis's hand on the table. "He does make me happy, mom. I know it wasn't easy when I was diagnosed..."

Karen shook her head. "I won't lie to you, Jack. It wasn't easy to accept that you're gay as it is. But when you were infected...I think a lot of my reaction came from fear. I assumed the worst, which I shouldn't have. And I know your father didn't react so well..."

"I remember what he said to me, mom," Jack replied. "Told me it was my punishment for being gay." Karen sighed.

"I know. I really gave him a dressing-down for that one. He seemed a little remorseful for it after you left, but he doesn't really know how to talk to you. He...I think he wants to talk to you, Jack."

Jack thought for a moment, and looked at Ennis. "I don't know, mom. He hasn't spoken to me in five years. And what about Ennis? I don't wanna face my dad without him by my side."

"I'm sure it'd be fine. Your dad doesn't hate you...he's just struggling. Look...we were born in the sixties...and men were expected to marry a woman and have children. You went against all of that. You're with a man, and you'll never be able to have kids. It's not easy for a man like your dad to see his son going against everything he expected of him. I mean...when we were born, a relationship like yours was highly frowned upon, not to mention illegal."

_Sodomy, _Jack thought to himself. _All the stuff Ennis and I do..._

"I know. I guess it only makes sense that he's struggling with it. But I just can't go forgetting what he said to me. It was horrible."

"I'm sorry, Jack. But, um...would you consider coming to the house, at least? Maybe show Ennis your old room and where you grew up?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. But only if my dad isn't there. I don't really want to see him, mom."

She nodded. "Okay. I'll make sure he's out. I'm pretty sure he's working on Tuesday."

"Alright." Their food arrived and they started to eat. Karen had a chicken salad and Ennis and Jack shared a sandwich platter between them. One thing about the food here, Ennis had discovered, was that it was delicious.

They talked about life in San Francisco, and about Alma and Lureen. Karen gave Jack news of his family and what was going on over here. The lunch went very well and Jack felt a little sad at leaving her so soon. They confirmed that Ennis and Jack would go over to the house on Long Island on Tuesday at noon, hopefully when Jack's father was out. But before they did, Jack knew that he and Ennis would have to talk this over; he needed some comfort and support from his lover if he was going to do this.

* * *

That night, after some more walking around and then dinner, Ennis and Jack returned to their room and Jack flopped down on the bed, one arm flung over his eyes. Ennis looked at him sympathetically, knowing that the prospect of going to his childhood home was making him apprehensive. And Karen's suggestion that Jack and his father should try to reconcile had clearly brought back the bad memories from when Jack had told them about his diagnosis.

He sighed and sat beside Jack, rubbing his stomach to try and relax him. "Darlin'...talk to me."

Jack lifted his arm and looked up at Ennis. "I just...talking to my mom before...kind of wore me out. What she said about my dad..."

"I know. Not easy to think about building bridges after what he said. But...are you considering it at all?" Ennis asked gently, and Jack shrugged.

"I don't know. It's like you said before...they're our parents, and we'll always want their approval no matter how old we get. I know I'll never get that from him, but...I'd be happy with an apology from him. For what he said and how he practically disowned me. If he could just say he was sorry..." He trailed off, flinging his arm back over his eyes. Ennis rubbed his forehead and looked around, spying the bottle of massage oil they'd brought. He smiled to himself.

"Hey, bud? You want a backrub?" Jack looked at him from under his arm.

"Huh? Where'd that come from?"

Ennis shrugged. "Figured it might help you relax. You want one?" Jack smiled.

"Okay." They stripped off and crawled up the bed, Jack resting on his stomach with his arms crossed over the pillow, chin on them. Ennis straddled him and grabbed the bottle, squirting a generous amount and warming it between his hands.

"Just relax, darlin'...I'm here..." Jack nodded and turned his head so that his cheek was now on his arms. He let out a contented purr as Ennis's hands started rubbing over his back, a strong cinnamon scent filling the air.

"Mmm..." Ennis worked the tension out of Jack's muscles until he was relaxed, and then allowed Jack to turn over, now rubbing his stomach. Jack smiled as Ennis worked, pleased with the attention. Ennis finished with Jack's legs and feet, noticing that he was hard.

"You want something else now?" he asked lightly, and Jack grinned.

"Sure wouldn't say no." Ennis nodded and now grabbed the lube and a condom, preparing himself while looking down into Jack's eyes, and then putting a condom on Jack to be on the safe side. He shifted forward and lifted Jack's legs, wrapping them around his waist. At Jack's nod, he slowly pushed in, letting Jack get used to every inch and hearing him sigh as he was completed. "Ennis..."

Ennis didn't move at first, but cupped Jack's face. "Jack...just want you to know...it doesn't matter if you dad still won't talk to you. And it doesn't matter if...he tries to hurt you just for being who you are. I swear...I'll protect you. Nobody will hurt you ever again, okay?"

Jack gulped and lay there, looking up at Ennis and feeling him inside his body. He'd never felt as complete as he did when Ennis was within him, nestled between his legs. He felt safe, and truly believed the words Ennis was saying to him. He knew that he could drop his defences around Ennis; it was safe to let go. He nodded.

"Okay." Ennis leaned down to kiss him as he started to move, thrusting slowly and deeply into him, every stroke sending shockwaves throughout Jack's body, making him moan. "Oh..."

They were mostly silent as they made love, save for intakes of breath and the occasional disjointed word, such as each other's names or endearments. Ennis did his best to distract Jack from his feelings about his father and gave him everything he could. It worked; Jack was groaning and lifting his hips, as if he was trying to take more of Ennis inside him. Sweat was dampening his dark hair and Ennis could see the veins in Jack's neck as his head pressed back into the pillow. A few more thrusts and Ennis was tipping over the edge, crying out and screwing his eyes shut. Jack followed suit and came between them, protected by the rubber.

Ennis rolled off Jack and collapsed onto his back, sighing. When he looked over, Jack hadn't moved, but was panting and staring up at the ceiling. He rolled onto his side. "Bud, you okay?"

Jack smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." Ennis nodded and kissed him before sitting up, removing both condoms and going to dispose of them, bringing back a towel to clean them both up with. He cleaned himself and then Jack, seeing the gentle smile on his lover's face.

Ennis got back into bed and moved up close against Jack, the two of them warming up under the covers. "You need anything else, darlin'?" he asked softly, rubbing Jack's arm.

"Could you, um...hold me?" Jack replied, looking hopeful. Ennis wordlessly drew Jack into his arms, rubbing his back. They lay there for a while, until Jack spoke again. "Ennis?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what's gonna happen with my dad," he confessed, head tucked against Ennis's chest. "I don't really know what I want from him. I think, more than anything, I want an apology for what he said. But after that...I don't know."

"Could you ever have any kind of relationship with him after all that?" Ennis asked.

"I don't know..." Jack repeated, not having any other response. "I don't know anything..."

"You'll figure it out," Ennis told him gently, kissing his forehead. "I know you will, baby."

Jack smiled at the endearment. "I guess. I think better when I'm around you, anyway. We'll figure it out together."

Ennis nodded and could feel Jack starting to get drowsy. "Okay. Get some sleep, Jack. I'm here..." Jack kissed his shoulder and closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in dreams. Ennis followed soon after, holding Jack close and wondering what might happen for Jack and his father.

* * *

_December 22nd, 2009_

Ennis looked over at Jack as they rode on the train to Long Island, wondering what he was thinking. Karen had called that morning to tell them that his father was indeed at work, so it was safe for them to visit. Ennis found this reassuring, but he wasn't sure how Jack might be feeling.

They'd spent the day before doing some more shopping, buying gifts for Lureen and Alma, and sampling local cuisine. They had also taken a walk to the riverside and eaten fish and fries for dinner at a restaurant, which had been very romantic and relaxing. And the night before, Ennis had tried his best to push away all of Jack's negative thoughts, to make him feel better about today. His efforts had paid off; Jack had slept well and throughout the night.

So now they were here, on their way to Jack's old house in Rosedale. They'd seen a little of the area after leaving JFK for their hotel, but not much since it had been so dark. Now Ennis could appreciate how beautiful it was here.

They took a cab to 145th Avenue, where there was a row of stunning houses. They weren't sprawling, but looked very nice nonetheless. The one that Jack pointed out had an awning over the front steps, and it was made of white brick.

"There it is," he said to Ennis, letting him take it in. "The house where I grew up."

Ennis nodded. "Sure is nice. Can see your mom's had an influence," he said, pointing at the rosebushes. Jack laughed.

"Yeah. Anyway...you wanna go in?" Ennis nodded again and Jack took his hand, leading him up to the house. He knocked and they didn't have to wait long before Karen answered, looking pleased to see them.

"Hey, sweetie...glad you could come." She embraced her son warmly and then, to their surprise, pulled Ennis into a hug. "Ennis, good to see you."

"Uh...you too, ma'am," he managed, looking over her shoulder at Jack's grinning face. She stepped back and gestured inside.

"Come on, then. Got some soup and rolls for lunch, hope you like it." They followed her inside and Jack led Ennis into the living room while she went into the kitchen. The two of them sat down and Ennis looked around.

"Nice place," he commented, smiling at Jack.

"Thanks...I always liked living here, but when I was a kid I used to love going into the city; couldn't wait to get out and live there." He lowered his eyes. "So I did...and look what happened."

"Hey..." Ennis said softly, putting an arm around him. "Don't think on that right now." He rubbed Jack's back until Karen called them into the kitchen/dining room.

Lunch went well; they talked more about life in San Francisco and how it compared to life in New York. They agreed that things were very similar between the two, but were still vastly different.

"You know...I kept his room like it was when he was a boy," Karen said to Ennis, nodding at a blushing Jack. "I think he appreciates that."

"Mom..." Jack replied, looking embarrassed.

"Take him up there, Jack; I'm sure he'd want to see it." Jack nodded and after lunch, took Ennis up.

Jack's room was at the top of the stairs and to the right. It was a fairly large room, with a window overlooking the front street. Ennis looked around with interest. "Nice space..."

"Yeah...spent many a time up here, on my own, looking out of that window and wondering when I'd get to see the city on my own. Couldn't wait to get out."

"You ever have a girl up here?" Ennis asked, genuinely curious. Jack shook his head.

"No; my dad would've pitched a fit if I'd tried. Never had any guys, either. Well...until now." He smiled at Ennis and kissed him lightly. "You're the first guest I've ever had up here...sure wish we could make the most of it."

"Not with your mom here," Ennis replied, shaking his head. "That's not right..."

"I know, I know...still...a nice thought. We'll save it for tonight at the hotel." His smile widened, until he heard the nearby sound of a car door slamming. "What the...?" He went over to the window and looked out. "Shit!"

"What is it?" Ennis asked in concern, joining him at the window. In the driveway, a silvery-blue car was parked, and a man was approaching the house. "Is that your dad?" Ennis asked, touching Jack's arm.

"Yeah...what the hell's going on?" Jack raced to the door with Ennis at his heels, and they thundered down the stairs.

In the living room, Jack froze. His father was stood there, looking at him in shock. Karen looked apprehensive.

"I'm sorry, Jack...I don't..."

"What the hell are you doing back at this time?" Jack demanded of his father. "I thought you were at work."

"Boss let us go early for the holidays," he replied. "Jack, I...it's good to see you."

Jack felt anger bubbling inside him. "Pity I can't say the same about you." He then turned to Ennis. "Come on, bud." Taking Ennis's hand, he gave his father one last defiant look and made to leave.

"Jack..." Karen started, hoping to get him to stay. "Please, honey..." He shook his head.

"I don't wanna be near him, mom. And I don't want him near Ennis. We're leaving. I...I'll call you later." He tugged at Ennis's hand and they left, hearing Karen starting to yell at his father.

When they got outside, Jack let out a sigh and turned to Ennis, moving into his arms and breaking down, as if it had been building up inside him. Ennis held him as he shook and rubbed his back, murmuring that everything was alright, and that he was here. Jack leaned into him and tried to forget the hateful words his father had once spoken; they had all come flooding back in a matter of seconds back there. He concentrated on where he was now, and on who was holding him, keeping him safe and loved.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_December 23rd, 2009_

The next day, Jack decided that it was time for him to venture into Central Park; to face his memories and his fear. With Ennis by his side, he knew that everything would be okay. Ennis would protect him and hold him if the memories became too much.

They stood at the entrance to the park; the same one that Jack had used on that fateful day. Ennis looked at Jack, holding his hand and waiting patiently for him to move. "Whenever you're ready, bud."

Jack nodded and stepped forward, heading through the entrance and retracing his footsteps. He tried to swallow down the bile in his throat and remember that he was safe; Ennis was here.

They walked along the path slowly, Ennis having all the time in the world for Jack to do this. He needed to do this. Jack started to speak.

"Well...this is where I was walking, trying to hurry to get to class. It was a real nice day and I thought that everything was gonna be alright." He had a brief flashback of walking along the path, but shook it away and carried on. Soon, they would reach the trees where it had happened.

When they did, Jack stopped and looked around, silent as he remembered. He had Ennis's hand in a tight grip, and Ennis was squeezing back. "This the place?" he asked softly, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah. Over there..." He pointed to the edge of the trees. "That's where I was dragged to by the guy...where it happened." He wondered vaguely if his blood might still be visible on the grass, and pushed the morbid thought from his mind.

Ennis sighed and released Jack's hand, putting an arm around him instead. "Darlin'...it's okay. I'm here..." Jack nodded and tentatively moved, walking towards the spot. He stopped and looked at the ground, almost seeing himself kneeling there in pain, being viciously attacked. He shook a little, so Ennis slowly came up behind him and pulled him close, arms around him. "Baby..."

Jack leaned into the embrace, feeling loved. It felt good, and he felt powerful to be here with Ennis, right at the spot where it had happened. He felt as if he'd won, in a way. The guy, whoever he was, hadn't beaten him. "I love you," he said softly, covering Ennis's arms with his own.

"I love you too, Jack." They stood there for a while, just looking at the spot and remembering everything they had together. Jack then turned his thoughts to Ennis and how he made him feel. Ennis had confessed to feeling helpless when it came to Jack's memories and how little he could do. But as they stood there, Jack realised that there was one thing he could do.

"Ennis?" he asked, and Ennis kissed his neck.

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"I was thinking...there's something I want you to do. Tonight, if you can."

"What?"

"I...I want you to fuck me...from behind."

Ennis's eyes widened. "Uh...what? You mean...?"

"Yeah, all fours." He turned himself in Ennis's arms. "Look...ever since it happened, I've always associated that position with what happened here. And you notice...whenever we have sex, it's either from the front or on our sides. I've never felt brave enough to try it like that."

"So...why now?" Ennis asked, stroking Jack's face.

"Because...I don't want to associate that position with this anymore. I want to...associate it with you. I love you, Ennis...and you love me. That's what sex should be about. So I need to replace these memories with good ones, so that when I think about this position, it makes me think of you and not him."

Ennis nodded, seeing the logic in Jack's words. "Right. Well...if it'd make you happy, and if it'd help, I...I'd be happy to do whatever I can for you. I'd do anything for you, Jack."

Jack smiled. "Thank you. So...can we try it tonight?" Ennis smiled and pulled Jack into his arms.

"Whenever you want, bud. It's up to you." They stood there a little longer, arms around each other and basking in their untouchable love for each other. Jack wasn't scared about trying that position with Ennis; he didn't have anything to be scared of. Ennis would never hurt him and would do anything to make him feel good. He would be just fine to let Ennis do it.

They broke apart and kissed softly, hands on each other's faces. After a while, they linked hands again and walked down the remainder of the path and off into the park.

* * *

The pair of them ended up spending most of the day in the park; they strolled around the lake and visited the zoo for a few hours, enjoying the winter sunshine. Jack felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders at having been here with Ennis, pushing his dark past away and looking towards a bright future with the love of his life.

They sat on a bench in a secluded area and made out slowly, arms around each other.

"Mmm..." Jack purred when he pulled away, keeping his face close. "You're a good kisser."

Ennis's cheeks reddened. "Don't know about that...never was really one for kissing before I met you. Alma can tell you...I wasn't much for romance. Feel sorry for her...that she couldn't bring all that out in me, and you can."

"At least she's still your friend," Jack reminded him. "And she's been great to me. We've got two really great friends back home, bud. They're on our side."

"Yeah." Ennis leaned back in and kissed him again, deeply. It was enough to get Jack hard, and without thinking, he started humping himself against Ennis, who started laughing. "Easy there, bud..."

"Sorry," Jack replied with a sheepish grin. "Can't help myself when I'm with you. You drive me crazy."

Ennis rubbed their noses together. "Same here, darlin'. I'll take care of you, I promise."

Jack sighed and rested his head on Ennis's shoulder. "I know you will."

They spent the rest of the day exploring the city, taking a ferry tour to the Statue of Liberty and looking out across the water. Ennis unabashedly put his arm around Jack, pulling him close as they enjoyed their day. He'd long since stopped caring about people staring at him whenever he was affectionate with Jack; they weren't doing anything illegal and they were never inappropriate in public.

When they got back, Ennis was a little nervous. Jack had asked him to take him from behind, something which he had never expected. When they had first started dating, Jack had admitted that he had issues with such a position, and that it might never happen for them. So for Jack to actually request it...he was very surprised. Jack had actually requested for him to do it, and Ennis was determined to do his best for him.

Yet as he thought about it, he figured that it made sense. Jack wanted to replace his bad memories with good ones as much as he could, and if they could do this, it would help Jack immensely. Ennis was prepared to do anything to help Jack. He loved him very much and just wanted to make him happy.

They walked into their room and turned to each other, feeling nervous yet looking forward to the night ahead. Jack moved close to Ennis and kissed him, hands running up and down Ennis's stomach, feeling the strong muscles that he was so familiar with.

"Love you," he murmured, and Ennis smiled at him. The words came easier to them all the time, as their relationship continued to move forward. They felt as if the coming year would be a good one; things would continue to improve for them and they would have a lot to look forward to.

"I love you too." They slowly began to undress each other, nipping gently as skin was revealed. When they were naked, they linked hands and walked to the bed, Jack crawling in first and making room for Ennis, getting warm under the covers. They laid there for a while, just looking at each other, until they leaned in again and resumed their kissing.

When Jack felt he was ready, he looked at Ennis meaningfully and rolled onto his stomach, eyes full of need. Ennis nodded and gently climbed onto his back, trying not to spook him. Jack let out a sigh and relaxed. "Ennis..."

"I'm here, darlin'...it's alright..." He nuzzled the back of Jack's neck, kissing softly. "Tell me when you're ready." He prepared himself with a condom and some lube, plenty just in case. Jack had taken it completely dry on that day, and Ennis knew it must have hurt. He then covered Jack with a second condom. Not only did they have to protect Ennis, but this was a hotel bed; they had to be mindful of other people, even though the sheets were changed every day. Jack had always been conscious of protecting other people; the last thing he wanted was to infect others.

"I'm ready..." Jack whispered, breathing deeply. Ennis started to very slowly push into him, knowing that he had to take his time. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Jack or scare him. This was supposed to be about their love and respect for one another.

At last, Ennis was fully inside Jack, and he stayed still for a few moments, wanting Jack to get used to the feeling. Jack had his eyes closed and was repeating, over and over, _it's Ennis...it's Ennis...he loves you and will never hurt you, _in his mind. "Okay," he murmured, signalling for Ennis to move. He was ready for things to happen.

Ennis slowly thrust into Jack, reaching up to take his lover's hands in his own. Their fingers laced together as they moved, Jack pushing back to meet Ennis's thrusts and moaning softly. Visions of that day tried to assault his mind, but he focused on who it really was behind him, and the sensations pushed away the memories.

With a groan, he came into the rubber and shuddered all over. Ennis wasn't far behind, crossing the finish line and collapsing onto Jack's back, causing Jack to fall to the bed under his weight with a surprised sound.

They lay there for what felt like an eternity, until Ennis pulled out and rolled Jack onto his back again. "Darlin', you alright?"

Jack nodded and sighed. "Sure am." He opened his eyes and smiled at Ennis. "I'm just fine, baby." Ennis kissed him and rolled off, removing both condoms and going to dispose of them. When he came back, he saw Jack sprawled out, looking satisfied, and crawled back into the bed, moving up close to him.

"Hey, bud..." Jack opened his eyes and smiled at him.

"Hey. Thank you, Ennis...you've no idea what this means to me...what you did. I really appreciate it."

Ennis smiled and stroked Jack's hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "You're welcome, Jack. I'm so glad I could help you..." He pulled Jack into his arms and kissed his forehead. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I am. I love you so much, sweetheart. You...you're the best thing that ever happened to me, you know that?"

"Mmm...I feel the same, Jack." They held each other and talked softly, before finally dropping off to sleep.

Ennis awoke a little later, and looked around the room. He and Jack had moved away during the night for comfort so they could stretch out. He smiled as he saw Jack, lying there with his dark hair fanned across the white pillow. Jack looked beautiful in the moonlight falling across his face, and Ennis felt incredibly lucky to be with someone like him.

He sent up a prayer of thanks to whoever had brought Jack into his life. He was happier now than he ever had been in his life. Jack was a wonderful person and made him feel on top of the world whenever they were together.

* * *

_December 24th, 2009_

On Christmas Eve, Ennis and Jack spent a lot of the day lying in bed and spending some quality time together. Jack was still on cloud nine over what Ennis had done for him the night before and showed him just how much he loved him. Ennis would never look at whipped cream the same way again.

As for Jack's father, Jack was still on the outs. His mother had called earlier that morning to ask how he was and to try and get Jack to talk to him. But Jack just couldn't shake off the memory of what his father had said to him, no matter how badly he wanted an apology.

Still, as they got dressed in their room for the hotel's Christmas party, Jack was happy. He had the man he loved by his side, he was no longer at that awful store with the small-minded employees, he had two other great friends, and he had hope for the future. It was a lot more than he'd had this time last year, sleeping in a run-down apartment in South Dakota that had definitely seen better days, a lousy job that was going nowhere, no boyfriend and the only friend he'd had was miles away. Things had turned completely upside down ever since he'd moved to the coast and met Ennis, and he would never forget that.

Ennis came into the bathroom, smiling at Jack and wrapping his arms around him from behind. "Hey, darlin'."

"Hey...you sure look good." Ennis was wearing a crisp white shirt with his jeans, and his curls were loose, just the way Jack loved them. Jack himself was wearing a denim shirt with his jeans and he'd given up on trying to get his hair to lie flat.

"You do too," Ennis replied, running a hand over Jack's stomach. "We...we look pretty good, don't we?"

"Yep." Jack splashed some cologne on and then turned himself in Ennis's arms. "You ready to go?" Ennis nodded and led the way out, holding Jack's hand as they made their way downstairs to the function room where the party was being held.

When they got there, Christmas party music was playing from somewhere and the room was full of guests. There was a dance floor at one end and a buffet at the other, with dozens of tables in between. Jack looked around with a grin on his face. "This looks great!"

"Sure does. What do you wanna do first?" Jack pointed to the food and they made their way over, grabbing plates and piling them high with food.

They found an empty table and sat down, looking around with interest. Jack was certain that he could see another gay couple just a few feet away, sitting close together and smiling at each other in the same way he smiled at Ennis. He turned back to his lover and kissed him on the cheek.

"What's that for?" asked Ennis in surprise, grinning. Jack just shrugged.

"Just because I love you...and that I'm really happy," he replied, smiling. They returned to their food, making small talk with a few other people that had joined their table.

After a while, the music started to slow and couple started appearing on the dance floor. When a particularly romantic song began playing, Jack turned to Ennis.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked hopefully, blue eyes imploring him. Ennis smiled and nodded, taking Jack's hand. He couldn't deny Jack the romantic pleasure of a dance on this night, and he wanted to dance with Jack. He wasn't much of a dancer but he had a feeling Jack wouldn't care.

_On this day, snowy day_

_Let me thank you for the joy you're giving me..._

_I'm so happy..._

_I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me_

_Winter bliss when we kiss_

_Every wish my lips could see_

_I'm so happy..._

_I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me._

They reached the dance floor and put their arms around each other, Ennis taking Jack's hand in his own and placing them close to his heart. He held Jack close, almost protectively. This was his man, and he wanted everybody in the room to know how proud he was to be with Jack.

_Snowy day_

_Would you please take me away_

_Away with you..._

_Hold me so closely_

_Like the moonlight lights the sky..._

The two of them danced slowly, smiling at each other and oblivious to anybody else around them.

_In my dreams of soft winter breeze_

_Eases my mind, but when I wake_

_There's nothing but leaves_

_Still, I'm happy..._

_I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me_

Jack looked up into Ennis's loving gaze and felt his heart lift. He was so in love with this man and knew that the feeling was mutual. He knew that Ennis would take care of him.

_Oh, how I imagine the day we met_

_And those tingles from those little butterflies..._

_Reminiscing, I get so happy_

_I just break down and cry_

Ennis could remember those two months after Jack's arrival, when he had stared at him in the coffee place and hoped that one day they would meet. It felt like a lifetime ago, and he now had the very man in his arms, dancing on Christmas Eve.

_Candlelight burning bright_

_Underneath a cool, starry night_

_You and me, endlessly, it's the greatest gift_

_That love could give to me_

Their love was the greatest gift they had ever received in their lives; everything felt right when they were together.

_On this day, snowy day_

_Let me thank you for the joy you've given to me..._

_I'm so happy..._

_To have snowflakes of love smiling down on me._

The song ended and they stopped dancing, exchanging a kiss. "I love you," Jack murmured, hands squeezing Ennis's.

"Love you too." They left the dance floor to rest for a while, thinking that this was the best Christmas they'd ever had.

* * *

When the party was over at midnight, Ennis and Jack did some kissing in a shadowy corner before making their tipsy way upstairs to their room. Jack nibbled at Ennis's neck as he tried to get the door open, eager to get onto the bed.

"Hang on, bud," he said with a grin. He finally got the door open and they staggered through into the room, the door banging shut behind them. Ennis turned to Jack and grabbed him, pulling him close into a kiss, mouths mashing together and tongues immediately finding each other.

"Mmm," Jack moaned as they fell onto the bed, tasting both wine and champagne in Ennis's mouth. He tasted so tantalising and Jack craved more. His hands worked at Ennis's buttons, rubbing over the hard muscles as they were revealed.

"C'mere," Ennis whispered, undoing Jack's buttons and pulling his shirt out of his jeans. "Oh God, Jack..." He pulled the shirt off Jack's shoulders and threw it to the floor, as his own was removed.

"Wanna be inside you," Jack moaned in his ear, nuzzling at him. Ennis felt his arousal increase and he lay back onto the bed, pulling Jack over him. They crawled up the bed to the pillows and Jack straddled Ennis, hands pawing at his jeans and getting them open. He eventually pulled them down and threw them to the floor along with Ennis's sneakers. Jack then removed his own jeans and footwear.

Their warm skin slid together, Jack kissing Ennis's neck and sighing. Ennis reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom and lube. He tossed them to the bed for Jack and pulled him in for another kiss. "Fuck me," he breathed, lost in his desire for the man above him. He was too far gone to protest; not that he wanted to.

Jack tore the wrapper off the condom and threw it to the nightstand, rolling the rubber on himself and covering it with lube. "Just hang on, baby..." He lifted up Ennis's legs and wrapped them around his waist, leaning forward and kissing Ennis deeply. He then started to push in, allowing Ennis to get used to the penetration.

When he was fully inside his lover, he started to move, taking it slowly. They were both a little drunk, but not so much that they didn't know what they were doing. At least he could still perform.

They moved together, kissing and letting their hands roam everywhere. At one point, Ennis let one hand trail down Jack's back and slipped a finger into him, making him buck and gasp into his ear. "Oh God..." He thrust even quicker into Ennis, until he was finally over the edge, shaking all over. He kept on moving for Ennis's benefit until he felt a warm wetness between them, Ennis moaning in his ear.

He collapsed onto Ennis, sighing and sinking down until they looked like one person, Jack's arms and legs on either side of Ennis and their chests together. "Mmm...you okay?"

"Yeah...that was...amazing..."

"Sure was. I love you so much, Ennis...you mean so much to me..." He rose up onto his elbows and looked down at Ennis, smiling. "This is the best Christmas I've ever had..."

"Me too, darlin'...I was really lonely last year. Wasn't with anyone, just spent some time with Alma. But it was weird. And...I didn't enjoy it that much. I've had a really great time here, with you. Coming here was a great idea."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, it was. And...I'm really grateful for what you did...in Central Park. You were there for me when I needed you, and I appreciate it. You're a good man, Ennis. The best I've ever known."

Ennis's cheeks reddened. "Don't know about that, bud. I reckon you're the best man around. I love you...and...I don't always know how to tell you what you mean to me. I don't have the words..."

"It's alright..." Jack soothed, stroking his cheeks. "You don't have to recite poetry or anything to tell me how you feel. I've never wanted that from you. Just...say what's in here." He placed one hand over Ennis's heart, feeling it beat steadily under his fingers. Ennis nodded, hoping to get the words out.

"Well...I've never loved anyone the way I love you. You mean everything to me. I..." He felt a lump in his throat. "I don't know what I'd do without you..."

"You won't ever have to find out, baby. You won't ever lose me, you hear? I'm not going anywhere."

"You could," Ennis replied shakily. "We don't know what might happen to you. What if...the HIV turns into AIDS? It could kill you..."

"Shh..." Jack shushed him, rubbing his stomach. "It's alright. We don't know for sure that it could happen. You know..." he started, threading his hands through Ennis's damp curls. "I've heard of guys living with HIV, and they live for a long time without it turning into AIDS."

"Really?" Ennis asked hopefully. Jack nodded and then look down, realising he was still wearing the rubber. He pulled it off and tied it before tossing it to the nightstand. He then settled back down on top of Ennis.

"Yep. I did a lot of reading when I was diagnosed. My doctor at the time gave me all these pamphlets to read, and since then I've done lots of reading on the internet. I'll show you if you want sometime. Would that help?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, I guess. The more I know about all this...the better off I'll be. I wanna know all this stuff...especially if we move in together. I'll...I'll be your partner, so...it's only right that I know."

"Yeah. And...I like being with someone who's not scared. Someone I can talk to about this. That means so much to me. I love you, Ennis."

"Love you too, darlin'." Jack kissed him and then rolled off him onto his own side, sighing contentedly. They laid on their backs, gazing up at the ceiling and thinking as they dropped off to sleep.

* * *

_December 25th, 2009_

On Christmas morning, Ennis and Jack woke up together and grinned, happy to be spending this day together. The day before, when they had been preparing to go to the party, they had placed their gifts for each other in the corner, and now Jack was kissing Ennis all over his face, grinning.

"Merry Christmas, baby," he said, kissing Ennis's neck. Ennis returned the favour and kissed the top of his ear.

"Merry Christmas, darlin'. Can't believe I'm here with you."

"I know..." They kept kissing until Jack remembered the presents. "You wanna open presents?"

"Sure..." Jack reluctantly left the warm bed and walked over to retrieve the gifts, naked as the day he was born. Ennis enjoyed the view immensely, especially when Jack bent over. He came back and got under the warm quilt again.

"Here you go," he said, handing the wrapped jacket over. Ennis eagerly opened the wrapping up, his eyes shining when he saw the jacket.

"Oh, Jack..." He held it up and gazed at it in wonder. "This is..."

"You really like it?" Jack asked hopefully. Ennis nodded.

"Yeah, it's...it's beautiful. Where...?"

"At the Western store where I bought your boots. See the fur on the inside? That'll keep you warm..." Ennis smiled at Jack's thoughtfulness and leaned over, kissing him full on the mouth in thanks.

"Thank you," he murmured, looking down at the jacket and then back at Jack. "You gonna open yours?" Jack nodded and ripped open the wrapping, revealing the box. He looked at it curiously and then opened it, eyes widening when he saw the watch.

"Oh my...oh, Ennis..."

Ennis smiled at him. "You said you needed a new one. I was at this jewellery place buying something for the girls, and I saw the watches on my way to the counter. You like it?"

"Yeah...I can't believe it." He kissed Ennis and nuzzled at him. "Thank you..." They smiled at each other and admired their gifts. Ennis then remembered something Jack had said and half-smiled to himself.

"Hey...there was one thing you promised me..." Jack looked at him. "You said...I'd get you naked under the tree with a big red bow." Even just the thought of it aroused him right now.

Jack laughed. "Sorry, bud. The only trees around here are in public. But...I did pick something up..." He left the bed again and went to his bag, pulling out his surprise. It was a sprig of mistletoe. They'd kissed under some that was hanging downstairs, but this was different. The mistletoe was attached to a red belt, for some reason. Jack gave Ennis a look and tied the belt around his hips. Ennis looked at him in confusion, and then noticed that the mistletoe was now directly above Jack's crotch.

"What the...?" Jack smiled and crawled onto the bed, on his knees near Ennis.

"Wanna kiss me under the mistletoe now?" he asked, blue eyes seductive. Ennis gulped and then looked down, seeing that Jack was half-hard already. He leaned forward and nuzzled at the dark hair, hands coming around to cup Jack's ass. He did as requested, kissing down Jack's length and making him shudder. Before Jack could say anything more, he was flat on his back on the bed with Ennis's head between his legs.

A little later, when they were satisfied for now, they got up and took a shower together before going in search of breakfast. Most of the guests had gone out for the day by now, so they had the dining room more or less to themselves. Jack ran his foot up Ennis's leg, smiling at him innocently and remembering the mistletoe kissing from earlier. He would be keeping that belt; it had been some of the best oral sex Ennis had ever given him.

Just then, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he flipped it open to see a message from his mother. He'd half-expected her to send a message today; she had done so every Christmas for the last five years.

_Merry Christmas to you and Ennis, honey xxx_

He smiled and showed it to Ennis, and then sent a reply back. The two of them spent a few minutes texting Lureen and Alma. Ennis sent a message to his mother, not really sure if he'd get a reply. Jack didn't text his father; he'd deleted the number a long time ago.

When they were finished, they bundled up and ventured outside, braving the cold to see what might be going on. Jack had told Ennis that the city went all out on Christmas Day, with fairs and live shows all around. He had admittedly loved showing Ennis the city and where he used to spend his time.

The two of them explored for a while, and then decided to go and take a walk in Central Park. Jack was a lot more relaxed about being there after everything that he and Ennis had achieved together. They were closer than ever now and Jack knew that he could face anything as long as Ennis was by his side.

They walked slowly, gloved hands clasped together, talking and listening to the music that was playing from somewhere. Christmas had never really felt like a magical time for them since they were children, but now...it felt like how all those carols and songs described it.

Without warning, Jack slipped his hand out of Ennis's and leaned down, gathering a handful of snow and shaping it into a ball, eyes sparkling. "You wanna?"

"You'll have to catch me first," Ennis replied, and then took off. Jack ran after him, lobbing snowballs at his back and getting a few in the face in return. Eventually he caught Ennis and they tumbled into the snow, laughing helplessly.

"I love you," Jack said breathlessly, hands squeezing Ennis's shoulders. Ennis stroked his cold cheeks with his warm gloved hands.

"I love you too." He leaned down and captured Jack's lips, then got up and started running again, Jack on his heels.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

When the two of them were done with their snowball fight, they decided to go back to the hotel and warm up. There was a sitting room with a large fireplace that was free for them to use, so once they'd changed out of their wet clothes they got some hot chocolate and sat down in a loveseat, facing the fire.

"Mmm," Jack purred, stretching. "This is real nice, Ennis..."

"Sure is," Ennis agreed, putting one arm around Jack. "It was fun being out there in the snow with you, but...this is good, too. Nice and warm..."

"Yep. Doesn't get much better than this..." They fell silent, just enjoying the warmth of the fire and the company. Ennis was so in love with the man beside him, and hoped that one day, he would be able to make a real commitment to him. Even though they couldn't get married in California, they could still have a domestic partnership. And maybe, one day, they could move to a place where same-sex marriage was still legal. Like Massachusetts, perhaps. It had been legal there for five years now, and there was no sign of it being scrapped.

"What are you thinking?" Jack asked him, blue eyes gazing up at him. Ennis shrugged.

"Just...about us. What we might do in the future. Maybe...get married one day. I know it's not legal back in California, but..."

"Maybe we'll move," Jack finished for him. "I know it's still legal in Massachusetts. It's a possibility."

"Yeah. I love you, Jack...I'd sure like to marry you one day." His heart was beating quickly with nerves, but he knew that Jack would never judge him for anything.

"I'd like that too," Jack murmured, rubbing Ennis's knee with his hand. "I'd like to marry you, too. Still, there are some things we can have back home." He put his mug down and turned to face Ennis. "Like...a domestic partnership. We would have some rights as a gay couple. But...if we wanna get married legally, we would probably have to move to another state."

"Right. Anyway...what are we doing for New Year's? Going down to Times Square?"

"I think so. We're here, so we might as well join everybody else." Jack grinned. "Maybe we could tell the girls to keep an eye out for us on TV."

Ennis smiled. "Yeah, maybe. Gonna kiss you at midnight."

"Where?" Jack asked, grinning even wider. Ennis rolled his eyes.

"On the lips, dumbass. At least in public. When we get back to our room...that's a different story. Gonna kiss you all over." Jack's wicked grin relaxed into a gentle smile and he rested his head on Ennis's shoulder.

"Sounds good." They were silent again for a while, and then Ennis's phone rang.

"Oh, hey mom."

"Hey, sweetie. Merry Christmas."

"Uh, you too. How's things over there?"

"Alright. Kind of quiet...it's just me and your dad. How's New York? And...and Jack?"

"It's...really something," he replied, not wanting to hurt her feelings too much. "Jack's fine."

"Good. What did he buy you for Christmas?"

"A new jacket, fur lined for the cold weather. It's really nice."

"That sounds great. You...you're happy, aren't you?" It wasn't really a question; she knew the answer.

"Yeah, I am. We both are. I know things haven't been easy, but...it'd mean a lot to me if you accept Jack."

"We...we might be able to try, honey. I've been talking to your father...he's still struggling with accepting the fact that you're with someone who has HIV. He's scared, deep down. Scared that you'll get infected. We both are."

"I know that, mom. But...I was talking to Jack about all of this. And I've been doing some reading. There are plenty of couples like us, some of which have been together for years, and the negative person has never been infected. We're always careful."

"I guess I knew that. You've always had a good head on your shoulders. And...it's not like you'd get yourself infected on purpose, is it? Jack wouldn't force you to..."

Ennis shook his head even though she couldn't see him. "No way." He knew in his heart that Jack would never force him into sex without protection; Jack just wasn't like that. "He'd never do that."

"I know. Anyway...I'd better get going, get Christmas dinner sorted. Are you eating at the hotel or something?"

"Uh, yeah. They serve it here in the dining room. We better get moving. Bye, mom."

"Bye, honey." They clicked off and Ennis stretched.

"Well..."

"I know, baby," Jack said to him, squeezing his hand. "Come on, let's go and see about dinner." They got up and headed for the dining room, looking for a free table. They were seated and a waiter came over to take their order. Both of them ordered the traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, with plenty of mulled wine. They'd had it before and enjoyed it with Christmas dinner.

The food was delicious, and the company was well-received. They talked and laughed, exchanging stories of Christmases from their childhoods. One thing that they had in common was that as they'd gotten older, they'd felt lonelier. Especially after hitting their twenties; they'd always wanted someone to share the holidays with, and never really had. But now, they had each other, and that was all they needed.

"This is great," Jack commented, steadily eating his way through the pudding afterwards. "Kind of like how my mom makes it...especially the rum sauce."

"Mmm," Ennis agreed; he had the pudding with white sauce; he'd never cared for rum or brandy. "Sure is good."

When dinner was finished, they slowly made their way out of the dining room and walked slowly through the hotel, hand in hand. They were feeling warm and relaxed from the day, and they were looking forward to the evening, when they would slowly make love and revel in what they had together. Their love was precious to both of them, and Christmas was a magical time. This was the best one they had ever had.

* * *

On Boxing Day, things slowed down after the excitement of Christmas, and the city was preparing for the New Year celebrations. Ennis and Jack had spent yet another wonderful night together, and it seemed as though they were going from strength to strength. They couldn't wait to see what the following year might bring them.

There was one thing that Jack wanted to do while they were here, and he thought over it while he was in the shower. He knew that in the city, there was an AIDS hospice where people who were dying of the disease ended up when they could no longer be cared for by their families. He also knew that for a lot of them, they had long since been disowned by those they loved and forgotten, so they never had any visitors over the holidays.

Jack had been terrified of ending up like that, old and alone, so he was more determined than ever to make his relationship with Ennis work. He didn't want to die alone.

When he exited the shower, Ennis saw the thoughtful look on his face. "What's up?"

"Hmm? Oh...I, uh..." Jack paused, not really knowing how to say this. "Nothing, I...just something I was thinking about."

Ennis nodded slowly. He'd learned by now that if Jack wanted to share what was on his mind, he would do so in his own time. "Okay. Wanna go get some breakfast?"

"Sure." They left the room, hand in hand as usual, and went downstairs to the breakfast buffet. When they'd loaded their plates and sat down, Jack started to speak.

"There's something I wanna talk to you about, bud. And...there's something I wanna do while we're here."

"Okay." Ennis waited patiently for Jack to get his thoughts out.

"Well...here in the city, there's this AIDS hospice. Full of people dying of the disease. And the thing is...a lot of them have pretty much been forgotten by their families, so they don't get any visitors over the holidays..."

Ennis nodded, seeing where this was going. His wonderful Jack...always thinking of others despite his own issues. "Bud...you wanna go visit them?" he asked gently, covering Jack's hand with his own. Jack nodded.

"Yeah. I, uh...I've never been before. When I was diagnosed, my doctor suggested it, so I could talk to people who understood, but...I was too scared. They've just been left alone, most of them disowned, and...I was terrified that I'd end up like that."

Ennis squeezed his hand. "Darlin'...that'll never happen. I swear...I won't ever leave you alone. I know that you need me, but...I need you too."

"That's why I really want this to work, Ennis...our relationship. I don't ever wanna be without you."

"You won't," Ennis promised him, hoping against hope that he could see this through. "I'm right here. You still wanna go over there?"

"Yeah. I'd just like to talk to them, people who know what it's like. I mean, no offense, but...as much as I love you, and as great as you are with all this..." He trailed off, wondering if what he was thinking was too harsh.

"But I'll never really understand," Ennis finished for him, sensing his discomfort at voicing this. "I know that, Jack. I know I'll never understand what it's like to live with it, unless I was to get infected. But...that doesn't matter to me. I'm still here, standing by your side."

Jack smiled. "Thank you...that means...so much to me."

"It's alright, bud. I'm here for you. Want me to go to the hospice with you?"

"If you don't mind," Jack replied, looking hopeful. "Might be good for both of us, to see all that." He swallowed. "I...I love you, Ennis. You mean more to me than I could ever say...more than you'll ever know."

"I feel the same, Jack," Ennis murmured, stroking his hand with his thumb. They returned to their breakfast, the intensely emotional moment passing as they commented on how good the food was. Feeling suddenly hungry, Jack went back for seconds.

When they were finally finished, they headed back to their room to gather their things before venturing out. Jack was stood facing the mirror in the bathroom, trying to tidy up his hair, when Ennis came up to him from behind and pulled him close.

"You alright, darlin'?" he murmured, rubbing Jack's stomach. Jack smiled and closed his eyes, relaxing into the warm embrace that only Ennis seemed to have. Nothing else ever felt quite like this.

"I'm fine. This time last year I was in this grubby little apartment in South Dakota...on my own with nobody around. Last Christmas was so lonely...thought they were all gonna be like that."

"You're not alone now, Jack," Ennis told him softly. "Open your eyes." Jack did so and they locked gazes. "I'm here...you're with me now. You'll never be alone again if I can help it." Jack swallowed and pulled Ennis closer to him, emotion filling him up and causing a lump in his throat. These moments between them always pulled at his heartstrings.

"I always hated being alone," he whispered, as if afraid to admit this. "Dating nothing but my right hand because nobody would stay after finding out what I've got...wishing that the phone would ring but it never did. Tried one of those positive-only dating sites once...didn't like it. Felt like...I was in some kind of segregation or that I was second class or something. Like I was only allowed to see guys like me. And for a while I believed it; that I was never going to have a successful relationship with a negative person."

"But you have," Ennis murmured, kissing his earlobe. "Things are going real well for us." That was an understatement; he and Jack were very happy together.

"Yeah..." They stood there until Jack was ready to move, ready to venture out into the world once more and visit those who were less fortunate than himself. He figured that that was what Christmas was all about.

* * *

The pair of them found their way to the AIDS hospice in the city, holding hands tightly. Neither of them was entirely sure what to expect from it, but Ennis had a feeling that Jack needed to do this, for him. He had promised Jack that he would stand by him no matter what, so he would do so.

The building was lovely, with potted plants outside. It was built from red brick with white pillars at the porch, with steps leading up to the front door.

"Sure is a nice place," Ennis commented, looking up at it. "At least they get to live somewhere like this..."

"Yeah. Just wish they didn't have to live with the disease. I wouldn't wish this on anyone." Ennis squeezed his hand and they moved forward, walking up the steps. The door was open, so they stepped through and looked around. It was very quiet, yet the inside was beautiful.

After a moment of standing and admiring their surroundings, they were approached by a man who was at least ten years older than them. He looked tired, but friendly enough. "Can I help you?"

"Oh...well, we're just visiting. I, uh...I'm HIV positive, and...I'm from around here. Just wanted to visit the residents, knowing that...some of them don't always get visitors at this time of year."

The man smiled. "Well, that's very nice of you. We're all in the sitting room, except those who can't leave their beds. Would you like to come in?" They nodded and followed him. "I'm Alan, by the way."

"I'm Jack, and this is my boyfriend Ennis," Jack introduced them as they were led into the room, where numerous men were gathered. Most of them were older, and may have been victims of the disease during the pandemic of the 80s. Ennis felt his heart sink at the thought of all these poor people; from what Jack had told him, AIDS was a lot worse than HIV, and could kill. He sincerely hoped that Jack would never end up like this.

"Guys," Alan said to the room at large. "This is Ennis and Jack, and they're here visiting, if you wanna talk to them." The guys smiled at the thought and beckoned them over.

The two of them sat down and introduced themselves, with a synopsis of how they'd met and their lives together so far.

"So you just quit?" a man named James asked in interest at Jack's tale of leaving the store. Jack nodded.

"Yep. I couldn't take it anymore." He squeezed Ennis's hand. "Just glad I had someone to lean on."

James nodded. "You're very lucky, Jack. I never had much luck with love when I was your age. Nobody wanted to get involved with someone who had HIV."

"Yeah. Had that myself for five years before I met Ennis. He's been my rock."

"Don't ever let him go," another resident told him, nodding.

"I've got a few questions for you guys," Jack started, taking a deep breath. At their nodded consent, he continued. "I just...how do you cope when you find out it's turned into AIDS? I think Ennis is a little worried, and to be honest, I am too."

"Well, there's no one way of knowing. You just...have to make the most of the time you have. Be sure to tell each other, every day, that you love each other. Live every day like it's your last."

"And remember one thing," said a man named Ben. "Don't make too many big plans for the future, because you just don't know when your time might be up. Just live in the now." Jack nodded and smiled at Ennis, who looked more relaxed.

The pair of them ended up making a donation to the hospice, having enjoyed spending time there. By the time they left, Jack was feeling lighter, and he looked a lot happier than he had done lately.

"You have a good time in there, Jack?" Ennis asked, smiling at him.

"Yeah, it was great. They're really nice guys...sure is a shame they have to live there, though. Don't have family that'll take care of them." He stopped suddenly, expression turning worried.

"What is it, bud?" Ennis asked in concern, eyes raking over his face.

"Ennis...can you promise me something?" Jack said to him, eyes imploring. Ennis nodded.

"Sure, what?" At the look on Jack's face, Ennis knew that he would promise Jack anything he asked him for.

"If it turns into AIDS and I get sick...promise me you won't put me in a home. It's a nice place, but...I can't..." A lump grew in his throat. "Don't leave me alone like that..."

"Hey..." Ennis pulled Jack into his arms and rubbed his back. "It's okay, baby...I won't ever let that happen. You'll always have me..."

"I know," Jack replied, trembling a little. "I know that, deep down, but...I had to fend for myself for so long...I'm terrified of going back to that."

"You won't," Ennis soothed him, rubbing his neck. "I'll never do that to you. You'll stay right where you belong, with me." He wished he could marry Jack, and make vows to him; in sickness and in health. This would have to do. "I love you, darlin'..."

"I love you too." They stood there holding each other, not even noticing when it started to rain. When the snow began to turn into slush, they made their way back to the hotel, trudging through and keeping hold of each other.

When they returned to their room, they stripped off their wet clothes and crawled into bed for a little afternoon delight. They kissed for a while and then Ennis smiled at Jack and grabbed a condom before disappearing under the covers. Jack was soon moaning and bucking, his knuckles turning white as he grabbed the headboard. He collapsed onto the bed and sighed, a smile on his face.

In good time, he took care of Ennis and they curled up together, dropping off into sleep.

* * *

The day after, Ennis and Jack were due to meet up with Jack's mother again. Karen had called the night before, asking if they wanted to meet for lunch. Jack knew it was only fair; she hadn't done anything wrong and he wanted to see her again before they left. He just hoped that his father wasn't going to be tagging along; he didn't know what to do where his father was concerned. Time couldn't heal all wounds, no matter what people said.

The two of them were sat in Bistro Coffee again, where they'd had lunch with her before, sat at a corner table and looking out of the window as they talked. Ennis looked at Jack now and then, wondering what he was thinking. He knew that Jack was hesitant to talk to his father after everything that had happened, and for good reason. Ennis himself was in no rush to talk to his parents, not after what they'd said. He was still waiting for an apology from them and knew that he wouldn't have anything to do with them until he got it; both he and Jack.

As they waited, Ennis reached over and took Jack's hand. "It's gonna be alright," he said softly, squeezing Jack's fingers.

Jack tried to smile at him. "I know. It's not that I don't wanna see her...I do, but...what if she wants me to talk to my dad? I don't know if I can..." His voice trailed off and looked like he had no hope whatsoever.

"Maybe you could, bud. You're stronger than you think," Ennis told him, hoping that Jack could see that it was true. "You should give yourself more credit."

Jack shook his head. "I don't know. It was awful, what he said to me. I don't know if I could ever forgive him."

"I don't expect you to," Ennis replied. "If you could just...talk to him. If he apologises, you could accept it, even if you can't forgive him. You'll still be able to move on from the hurt."

Jack seemed to think about this; Ennis had a point. Just as he was thinking it over, he looked up and saw his mother approaching, smiling at him. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, sweetie..." She arrived at the table and they both stood up to hug her. "Did you have a good Christmas?" she asked as they sat down.

"Yeah, it was good. We, uh...we went to the AIDS hospice yesterday, talked to the residents there. Made a donation too." Jack felt proud of himself and Ennis for doing that; for doing whatever they could to make those peoples' lives that little bit better. Jack knew he would appreciate it if it were him in that situation.

Karen nodded. "Well, that was a really nice thing to do." She looked as if she wanted to say more on the topic, but didn't. "Anyway...we had a quiet Christmas. Just me and your dad." She looked at him, knowing that she would have to get him to talk to his father, otherwise he would regret it for the rest of his life.

"Right..." Jack felt his heart sinking; he should have known that this would happen. A waitress came over to take their orders, and then Karen started to speak again, sounding hesitant yet determined to get through to him.

"Jack...he wants to see you. To talk to you."

"Mom..." Jack started, sounding worn out. He was starting to become weary of this same argument time and time again. He didn't want to see his father.

"Jack, honey...he feels terrible for what he said. And when you just left the house when he came home...made him feel even worse."

Jack's head snapped up. "If he feels so bad about it, he's had five years to apologise. Why now?"

"I don't know...he misses you. You're our only child, and...he feels like he's messed up his chances of ever having a relationship with you."

"Damn right he has," Jack fumed, now looking annoyed. "I can't believe him..."

Karen looked pained, and then sighed. "Alright. I'll tell you the truth. He...he's sick. And...he asked me not to tell you myself. I promised I wouldn't, but...you have to talk to him."

For the first time in he didn't know how long, Jack felt concern for his father rise up in him. "Sick? What...?"

"You have to ask him yourself, Jack. He wants to talk to you. And I'd do it soon if I were you."

Jack looked at Ennis, wondering what on earth might be wrong with his father. "Uh, sure...I...I'll call him later. You got his number?"

Karen didn't seem surprised in the least that Jack had deleted his father's number. Hopefully now, the two of them could reconcile before it was too late. She gave him the number and then their food arrived.

All through the meal, Ennis and Jack were both wondering what might be wrong with John Twist, and why he was extending an olive branch now. Jack wanted to be cruel and say that the old man was better off dead, but he just couldn't do it. In spite of everything, that wasn't how he felt. He was worried for his father's health.

When they were finished, the conversation turned to Jack's work prospects upon their return to California, and how Alma and Lureen were faring. One of them called every other day and they would exchange news.

Outside, they bid goodbye to Karen and Jack promised to call his father. Ennis had many thoughts about what might be wrong, but ultimately had no idea what it might be. He held Jack's hand tightly as they slowly walked back to the hotel.

"Wonder what's wrong?" he murmured as they strolled down the street. Jack shrugged.

"No idea. She seemed a little shaken, though. Like it's really bad. Guess we'll know soon enough." They were silent as they headed back, each of them thinking of the forthcoming phone call and what news it might bring.

* * *

When they got back, the pair of them sat down on the bed, Ennis putting his arm around Jack. He was staring at his phone in one hand, with the piece of paper in the other that had his father's number written on it.

"Whenever you're ready, darlin'," Ennis told him gently. "I'm right here." Jack nodded and started to dial the number.

"Hello?"

"Dad, it's me." Jack was shaking a little, and Ennis was rubbing his back.

"Oh, hey Jack. I guess you saw your mom."

"Yeah. She said you wanted to talk to me."

"I did. What did she say?"

"That you...you're sick," Jack replied, wondering what was going on. "What's wrong with you?"

His father sighed. "Jack...this isn't easy to say. I...I've got pancreatic cancer."

Jack almost dropped the phone in shock, and Ennis looked at him in alarm, having heard everything. He pressed his forehead to Jack's face, rubbing his back again.

"Dad...what...? Are you having treatment?"

"Doctor says it's too advanced. He's given me six months."

Jack could feel his lip trembling. "Oh my God...I can't believe it."

"Son...I just want you to know...I'm sorry for what I said. When you told us you're positive."

Jack broke down, sobbing into the phone, and Ennis felt so helpless for not being able to do anything for him. "Dad, I...I spent so long hating you for what you said. Deleted your number...refused to talk to you..."

"I know...and I deserved that. You're my son, and I just...I reacted the wrong way. I'm sorry..."

"Dad, I...I gotta go..."

"Alright. But...will you come to the house before you leave?"

"Uh, yeah...okay...we'll be there." He clicked off and sat there, unable to speak. "I can't believe it..."

"Baby...I'm so sorry. Are you...?" He stopped himself. "I know you're not okay..."

Jack fell back onto the bed, hands over his eyes. "My God...I just..."

Ennis lay down with him and wrapped an arm around his stomach, heart breaking on Jack's behalf. "Shh..." Jack started tearing up again and Ennis held him, willing to do anything that would make Jack feel better. "It's alright, it's alright..."

They laid there for the rest of the afternoon and most of the night, ordering room service instead of going out. Ennis called Jack's mother while Jack was sleeping, telling her that Jack had spoken to his father, and had been informed of what was going on. Karen agreed that they could come by in a couple of days, and Ennis promised to tell Jack.

When he was done, he sat on his side of the bed and watched Jack sleep, feeling heartsick to see him like this. To have hated his father for so long, and then to have been given a chance to reconcile, only for this to happen...Ennis felt so bad for him. He didn't know what to do for his lover. As the night grew late, he stripped off and settled under the covers, watching Jack sleep until he dropped off.

Sometime during the night, he heard Jack's voice, sounding weak in the dark. "Ennis...? You there?" Ennis opened his eyes and immediately turned to face Jack, placing a reassuring hand on his chest.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here...you okay?" Jack peered at him.

"What time is it?" Ennis looked at the glowing alarm clock on the nightstand.

"Just after midnight. You wanna try for some more sleep?" Jack shook his head.

"No, I..." He hesitated. "I...can we, um...?" His eyes looked larger than usual in the moonlight, and Ennis understood.

"Sure...c'mere, darlin'..." He rolled onto his side and rubbed Jack's stomach. He leaned in and kissed Jack as softly as he could, trying to take it slowly and not spook Jack.

Jack was responding, kissing him back and pressing up against him. His arm came up to wrap around Ennis's neck, pulling him down.

"I want you inside me," Jack breathed, forehead pressed against Ennis's. "Please..." Ennis knew it was comfort sex, and that there might not be much passion to it, but that was okay. If it was what Jack needed to feel better, so be it. He cupped Jack's cheek and nodded.

"Alright, darlin'. How you want it?"

Jack rolled onto his side, facing away from him and drawing his knees up. "From the side, behind me," he replied in a quiet voice. Ennis kissed his cheek and settled behind him, grabbing a pair of condoms and the lube. He prepared himself, covered Jack and then slowly slid in, straddling Jack's lower leg and leaning over as far as he could. He took it slowly and tenderly, nuzzling Jack's neck and kissing him.

"You doing okay?" he whispered, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah...keep going." A hand found its way around Ennis, holding onto his hip and pulling him further in, and he pushed in deeper. They slowly moved together, Jack's breathing and occasional gasps being the only sound in the room. Jack came, trembling all over and spilling into the condom Ennis had put on him. Ennis followed soon after, his forehead pressed against Jack's back and almost sticking to him with sweat. It was an effort to pull out, and then he collapsed again.

They lay there panting, unable to speak for several moments. Ennis leaned up on his elbow and looked down at Jack. "Darlin', you okay?" Jack rolled onto his back and smiled softly.

"I guess. Thanks, Ennis..."

Ennis removed the rubbers and tied them shut, throwing them to the nightstand. It was a habit he'd picked up from not wanting to leave Jack after sex, even to the bathroom. "You're welcome, baby. It...it's gonna be okay, you know. We'll figure this out."

Jack nodded. "I know...you're coming with me to the house, right?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, I will. You don't even have to ask, Jack. I'll be there, I promise." He kissed Jack and settled back down behind him, wrapping an arm around his stomach. His rubbing soothed Jack into sleep once more, knowing that he would be okay as long as Ennis held him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_December 29th, 2009_

A couple of days after they'd received the news of John's illness, Ennis and Jack were on their way to Long Island to see him.

Ennis was holding Jack's hand in both of his as they sat on the train, letting Jack rest his head on his shoulder. Jack hadn't slept well the night before, and much of yesterday had been spent in their hotel room. It was clear that Jack was struggling with his conflicted feelings.

He knew that the thing most bothering Jack was that he'd finally received an apology from his father for what he'd said, but it had come in such circumstances. Jack had spent so long hating his father for what he'd said, and now the elder Twist didn't have long to live. It wasn't a lot of time for them to make up or form any kind of relationship now.

Ennis did what he could, holding Jack through the night, whispering words of love to him and hoping that he would be okay. Jack appreciated the gesture and was very grateful that he had Ennis by his side. The comfort sex had been good, and he'd thanked Ennis for taking care of him so well.

Neither of them said anything until they disembarked and looked around for a cab to take them to the house. "You gonna be okay?" Ennis asked, touching Jack's arm.

"I guess. Just...gotta get through it." Ennis nodded and they exited the station to where the cabs were parked.

When they reached the house, they got out and looked up at it for several moments, each lost in their own thoughts. When Jack was finally ready to move, he kept hold of Ennis's hand as they went up the steps. After a few knocks, Karen opened the door.

"Jack...Ennis..." She gave them each a hug and led them inside to where John was sat in his favourite armchair. He looked up when they entered and Jack was taken aback. There was no look of disgust or contempt, not even when it was obvious that he and Ennis were holding hands. John gave a small smile and stood up.

"Jack...good to see you, boy. Is this your...?"

"Yeah, this is Ennis," Jack replied, squeezing his hand. "My boyfriend."

John nodded and stepped forward, hand outstretched. "John Twist," he introduced himself to Ennis, who shook his hand.

"Ennis Del Mar." Karen and Jack exchanged a glance, liking how civil things were, at least for now. "Sorry to hear about what's going on."

"Yeah. I just knew that Jack would need to know. And..." He turned to his son. "Jack, I...I want to apologise again, for what I said."

Jack swallowed. "I...it's not easy to just forget it. And...I don't know if I can ever forgive you for it."

John nodded. "I know. I don't expect you to, son. What I said to you...it wasn't how a father is supposed to treat his son."

Karen spoke up as they all sat down, Ennis and Jack on the sofa. "I explained to Jack why you reacted that way. That we were born in a different time, and that you expected certain things of him."

"Right. And your mother was right, Jack. I expected you to find a girl, get married and have children. So when you told us you're gay...it was hard enough to deal with. Went against everything I was ever taught about what a man should be." He sighed. "So when you were infected...I just lost it."

"Your son's a good man," Ennis said quietly, hoping he wasn't overstepping the boundaries too much. John nodded.

"I know that now. I missed you so much, Jack. I was diagnosed about two weeks ago, so...about a week before you showed up here. I told your mother I wanted to see you, so when she told me you were coming here, to the city, I asked her to try and get you to the house so we could talk. Last week, she told me you were coming, so I...figured that since we would be finishing work early anyway, it would be an opportunity to talk to you."

"I didn't want to see you," Jack told him, head lowered. "But now...I don't know what to say."

"Jack, I...if it's not too late, I...I would like to get to know you. And Ennis too. You're not the son I remember, and that's okay. You were barely out of your teens when I last saw you, and now you're a man. I don't want to go to my grave without having tried to make things up to you. Is it too late for us to have any kind of relationship?"

Jack looked at his father and thought over everything he'd felt about the man since coming out. There was a mixture of feelings there, but one thing remained at the front of his mind; this man was his father, and he didn't have long left. Jack wanted to try and salvage whatever he could.

"It's not too late," he said at last, and felt Ennis's hand squeezing his. "But...I need to know...are you truly sorry for what you said, or are just saying that because you don't want me to hate you?"

John looked directly at him. "I'm sorry, Jack. I don't hate you for being who you are. You can't control it. And...I'm sorry for what you went through in the park. I don't think that having HIV is your punishment for being gay. Anybody can get infected these days, even straight people if they're in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't think all that stuff anymore."

Jack nodded, tears prickling in his eyes. "Okay." He stood up and walked to his father. "We can try." John stood up and pulled his son into a hug; Jack didn't protest. Ennis and Karen looked at their other halves proudly, glad that things were on the mend. At least when John's time came, they would know that they had at least attempted to fix their relationship. That was all they could hope for now.

* * *

That night, when they returned to the hotel, Ennis could tell that Jack was worn out by the day's events, so decided to do whatever he could to make him feel better. They still had some massage oil left, almond scented, so when they entered their room, he turned to Jack.

"Baby...you gonna be okay?" he asked gently, pulling Jack close and rubbing his back. Jack rested his head on Ennis's shoulder and relaxed against him.

"I don't know...just all catching up to me. I do wanna try and make up with him, but...it won't be easy. After everything he said, and now he's apologised...but he's dying..."

"I know, Jack...it's okay...shh..." Ennis nuzzled his face into Jack's hair. "It's gonna be okay." He pulled back and looked into Jack's eyes; he looked lost. "What do you want? I'll do anything to help you...just tell me."

Jack thought for a moment and shrugged. "I don't know...I just..."

"Want me to give you a backrub?" Ennis offered, rubbing his arm. Jack nodded.

"Okay...thanks." Ennis sat him down on the bed and slowly began to undress him, as lovingly as he could. Jack smiled softly as he let Ennis take over, appreciating his gesture. When he was naked, he crawled up the bed and rested on his stomach as he waited.

Ennis stripped off and watched Jack. He was a little aroused by the sight of Jack naked, but now wasn't the time. Jack needed comfort and care right now. He crawled onto the bed and straddled Jack, kissing the centre of his back. "I'm here, darlin'...it's okay..." Jack nodded and relaxed.

"I know..." Ennis grabbed the bottle of oil and warmed it between his hands, wanting to make Jack feel good. He slowly rubbed Jack's muscles, working the tension out of them. Jack made a soft purring sound and turned his head on his arms so that Ennis could see his face. "Thank you, Ennis...this is real nice..."

"Good...just want you to feel better, baby...it's alright..." He moved down the bed, squeezing out more oil and rubbing Jack's legs, thinking about how they felt wrapped around his waist or his neck. It felt so good whenever they were making love, and Ennis loved Jack so much that he just wanted to make him happy. When he'd finished, he looked down at his lover. "You want me to do your chest?" Jack nodded and turned over, smiling.

"Sure..." Ennis squeezed some oil onto Jack's chest and started to rub it in, seeing Jack's eyes slide shut with pleasure. "Mmm..."

"Feel good, darlin'?" Ennis asked, pleased that he was helping Jack.

"Uh huh..." When Ennis was done, he sat back and smiled down at Jack.

"How you doing, bud?" he asked gently, and Jack opened his eyes.

"Alright...you, um...you wanna...?"

"Only if you're up to it," Ennis replied. He didn't want to force Jack into anything. "Tell me what you want."

Jack considered. "Can we do that rubbing thing? You know...face to face?" Ennis nodded; they'd done it a few times that way, when one or both of them wasn't up to going through penetration.

"Alright, bud." He reached across and grabbed a condom, putting it on Jack to be on the safe side and then leaning down. He rested fully against Jack, their chests pressed together and legs on either side of him. Jack smiled up at him as he was covered, feeling warm and relaxed. Ennis started to slowly move his hips against Jack, kissing him softly.

"Mmm..." Jack moaned into Ennis's mouth and wound his arms around his lover's neck. He lost himself in Ennis's touch and under his body, trying to forget his troubles for as long as this lasted. Ennis was trying to help him and make him feel good, and he did his best to respond, moving with his lover and thrusting up against him. "Oh, God..."

Ennis nuzzled his neck and soon crossed the finish line, shuddering all over and collapsing against Jack, who soon followed suit, gasping for breath and then relaxing as he got his breath back.

"Oh, darlin'...you okay?"

"Yeah...that was good..." He opened his eyes and rubbed Ennis's back. Ennis rose up and looked down at him, seeing the love in his eyes. He removed the condom from Jack and put it on the nightstand, running his fingers through Jack's damp hair. "Thanks, Ennis..."

"No problem. You wanna try for some sleep?"

"Not yet. Can we talk for a while? Maybe sit up?" he asked, and Ennis saw that Jack really wanted to talk; he looked like he needed it.

"Sure." Ennis rolled off Jack and decided to clean up first, taking the condom into the bathroom to dispose of it and then cleaning himself up with a towel. He did the same for Jack and then sat up in bed beside him. They rested against the pillows and Ennis took Jack's hand, massaging it and smiling at him.

The pair of them talked for a few hours, about Jack's father and his illness mostly. Jack was devastated about what was going on, but he saw this as his chance to make up with his father after everything that had happened. If it was true that his father only had a few months left, Jack was determined for some sort of relationship to be formed by the time he died.

They came up with a plan. Jack would get himself a job where he only had to work during the week, and they would spend the weekend in New York. Now that it was okay to go to the house, they could stay there. He could spend time with his parents, and would have Ennis by his side. It was the best of both worlds.

Satisfied with this, Jack kissed Ennis warmly and lay down to get some sleep, inviting Ennis to spoon up behind him. They curled up together and drifted off, Ennis rubbing Jack's stomach and feeling happy that they were moving towards the future.

* * *

_December 31st, 2009_

On the day of New Year's Eve, Ennis and Jack spent most of their time walking around the city and having another snowball fight in the park. They would have to leave in a few days and they wanted to make the most of the time they had here.

They went back to Jack's parents' house in the afternoon, having been invited for dinner and eager to lay out their plan for future visits, if it was alright with Jack's parents.

As they waited for dinner, the four of them all sat down in the living room and Jack took Ennis's hand.

"Um...mom, dad...I've been talking with Ennis, about what's going on. And...there's something we wanna run by you guys."

Karen nodded. "Alright. What is it?"

"Well...we were thinking...I'd like to spend more time with dad while I...still can. And...obviously I can't be here all the time, living on the other side of the country and having to work and everything. So we came up with a plan." Jack looked at Ennis, who nodded in encouragement. "We thought...that we'd stay in California during the week, while we work. And then, we might come over here at the weekend, spend time with you guys. I'll make sure to get a job where I only have to work during the week, so we can come here."

Jack's parents looked at each other and smiled; they would love to see their son more often, and it sounded like a wonderful plan to them.

"Oh, Jack...that sounds great. You know we'd like to see more of you, and we'd like to get to know Ennis better."

"Right," agreed John, determined to make things up with his son. He figured that the more he got used to having Ennis and Jack around, and together, the sooner he could make his peace with their relationship and be happy for them. He was still struggling a little, but he no longer hated who his son had grown up to be. It would just take time, and he hoped that he would have enough. "Maybe...we could go to a game or something. Like the Knicks or the Rangers."

"Basketball and ice hockey," Jack said at Ennis's confused look; Ennis hadn't heard the names of the teams before. "That sounds great, dad. I think we'd both like that."

"Jack," Karen started, getting up. "Would you mind helping me in the kitchen?" She knew that John wanted to talk to Ennis alone. Jack nodded and squeezed Ennis's hand before walking off after her.

"So, Ennis..." the elder Twist began, and Ennis grew nervous. "Karen tells me you work at a vet's?"

"Um, yeah. Nice little place near where I live."

"I, uh...I want to thank you, Ennis. For making my boy happy." He looked weary. "Karen says she's never seen him this happy, and neither have I. When he told us about having HIV, part of the reason why I reacted the way I did was because...I was scared for him. I thought he'd end up like so many young men who get infected. They run wild and end up dead before they're thirty. So when Karen told me he was seeing someone, and that it was serious, well...that was around the time I was diagnosed, and it was when I started to want to see him. So...thank you for looking after him."

Ennis nodded, feeling proud of himself for making Jack happy. "We look after each other," he said quietly. "I...I love him." He was a little shaky at saying this to Jack's father, but he held his head high, unashamed of what he felt for Jack. His lover deserved a man who would stand up for them no matter what, and he knew that he was becoming that man.

John smiled a little. "I can see that. You're a good man." He leaned over and shook Ennis's hand, knowing that when his time came, it would be okay; Jack would be just fine as long as he had Ennis.

Dinner was ready soon after, during which Ennis's mother called. He'd already told Karen about his parents' inability to accept Jack, so at her request, he handed the phone to her. Karen spent a good few minutes talking to Ennis's mother, explaining to her the hard times that Jack had already gone through, and was still going through, and that Ennis was his rock right now. She hoped to convince the other woman that the relationship between their sons was a good thing, and that they needn't worry about Jack's HIV.

When she was done, she handed the phone back to Ennis, watched by an amused Jack. Ennis spoke to his mother a little longer and then hung up, wondering what might happen now.

Both of them were reluctant to leave, but it was almost six and they needed to get back to the hotel to change for the evening. They planned to get a drink at the hotel bar before heading to Times Square for the countdown. Jack knew the safe paths to take at night through the streets for when they returned, and he figured they would be safe if they stuck together.

Back at the hotel, Ennis wrapped his arms around a shirtless Jack and kissed his neck. "Pretty good day today," he said softly, and Jack nodded, relaxing into the embrace.

"Yeah. I really think...that me and my dad could have a chance. Never thought I'd say that, after these last five years..."

"I know. I'm proud of you, darlin'. Takes guts to cut your dad off like that, but...takes even more to backtrack and decide that you want to have a go at mending things. Love you, Jack."

"I love you too," Jack replied, turning his head to meet Ennis's lips. They kissed for several long moments and then prised apart to get ready. They got a drink at the bar, as planned, and then slowly walked through the streets, heading for the Square.

* * *

The two of them reached Times Square, where there were already plenty of people gathered to ring the New Year in. Ennis and Jack clasped hands tightly and made their way through the crowd, trying to find a spot. They really should have arrived earlier, but it didn't matter. They were here now, and ready to ring in the New Year together. It was a fresh start for them both.

As luck would have it, they found a space at the railings, close to where Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve was filming and streaming live. Jack looked at Ennis excitedly, like a kid on Christmas morning. Ennis felt the happiness coming off him in waves.

"This is great! The ball's right there!" They craned their necks to look up, seeing the ball high in the sky. Ennis then smiled at Jack, seeing how happy he was. He put his arm around his lover and gave him a squeeze.

"Glad I'm here with you, bud," he said, kissing his temple. Jack grinned.

"Me too." They looked around, enjoying the music and the chill night air as everything was broadcast live. Jack looked around and smiled, feeling happier than he had done in years. For the past five years, he'd watched this on TV from various small apartments, and felt as though he would never be happy.

Now he was here, in the very place he'd once been in when things had been so simple for him. He'd never attended the party before, so this was a completely new experience for him. He was happy that his first time here was with Ennis; he was the light of his life and made Jack very happy. And Ennis had told him more than a few times that he made him happy. That made Jack feel warm inside.

"Sure is cold," he commented, shivering a little. Ennis stood closer to Jack and put his arms around him, kissing his cheek and rubbing Jack to get him warm. Jack appreciated the gesture and immediately started to warm up, not least because it was Ennis touching him.

"Doing any good, bud?" he asked, smiling at Jack.

"Kind of," he replied, smiling back. "Thanks, Ennis. You gonna kiss me at midnight, like you said?"

"Sure am, but just on the lips. Don't wanna get into trouble, after all." Ennis smiled.

"So...I guess a blowjob's out of the question?" Jack asked, large blue eyes staring at him. Ennis laughed.

"For now, yeah. Maybe later, if you play your cards right." Jack grinned and leaned his head against Ennis's. They looked up together at the clock; there was about a minute left until midnight. "I love you, Jack."

"Love you too, Ennis." He turned to his lover. "You make me really happy, you know. It's only been four months, but...they've been the best of my life. Can't wait to see what this year brings for us. Maybe we could start talking about...living together?" He looked hopeful, and Ennis nodded.

"Yeah, maybe. I'd like that, bud. You know...I'm thinking we should go on one of those boat trips again. Remember? That was fun."

"Yeah, it was. Sounds good. And you know what? We should do something with the girls sometime. They've been so good to us, supported us through everything...the least we can do is treat them. Maybe we should pay for them to join us on that boat trip. They can do what girls like to do...sunbathe and everything."

Ennis nodded. "Sounds fair." Just then, it turned thirty seconds to midnight and the excitement mounted, people cheering and dancing to the music. Ennis swayed Jack in his arms and saw a smile forming on his lips.

"Mmm, that's good, baby." Jack kissed his cheek. "I think we should do this every year." Ennis nodded his agreement and they looked up at the clock once more. "Look, fifteen seconds..."

Ennis let go of Jack and took his hand instead, squeezing excitedly.

"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one..."

"Happy New Year!" came the shout of everyone in the vicinity, including Ennis and Jack. They threw their arms around each other and kissed, mouths pressed tightly together. 2010 rang in and everybody was celebrating around them, but they only noticed each other.

When they finally broke apart, they kept their faces close, nuzzling noses together. They smiled their secret smiles at each other.

"Love you, baby," Jack murmured, and Ennis kissed the tip of his nose.

"I love you too, darlin'. You ready to head back?"

"In a while. The city's still alive...let's make a night of it. We were always saying, back home, that we wanted to run around the city at night while we're still young. Let's do it here...just run around a while and see the nightlife before heading back."

Ennis smiled and nodded. "Sure thing. Let's go." He took Jack's hand and they ran through the crowd, eager to see what might be going on. Drinking in public was illegal in the city, but they didn't need to get drunk to have fun.

They ran through the crowded streets, where people were still celebrating the New Year with smaller parties. As they slowly headed back to the hotel, they stopped in doorways and kissed in the shadows, drunk on love.

Jack didn't want to go through the park, not at this time of night, and Ennis understood his reservations. They went around instead, slowing down and walking now. Jack kept lifting Ennis's hand to his lips and kissing it. He couldn't wait for them to get into bed.

He pushed Ennis up against an alleyway wall, kissing his neck and pawing at his jeans. "Mmm...look what I found..." Ennis moaned in response and couldn't help but thrust against Jack's hand.

"Damn, Jack...you don't have any patience, do you?" he breathed. Jack nibbled his neck.

"Can't help it...you drive me crazy. Wanna go upstairs?"

"You bet." Ennis felt Jack release him and grab his hand instead, tugging him out of the alleyway and towards the hotel.

* * *

They practically ran through the hotel, up towards their room, both eager to get into bed and have their own celebration.

"Want you inside me," Jack breathed as he kissed the back of Ennis's neck, distracting Ennis from opening the door. "Wanna feel you in me..." Ennis shivered.

"Hold on, bud...gotta get this thing open..." He managed to unlock the door and walked through with Jack firmly attached to him, arms around his waist. Once they were inside, he shut and locked the door before turning himself in Jack's arms. "You were saying?"

Jack grinned and kissed him. "I want you to fuck me," he whispered, hand rubbing Ennis's crotch through his jeans again. "Come on..."

"You got it..." Ennis kissed him hard and started to undress him. Displeased by the slow progress, they broke apart and stripped themselves off, clothing flying all around the room haphazardly. Once naked, they moved into each other's arms and kissed, more gently this time.

"I love you," Jack murmured, nuzzling his lover's neck. Ennis did the same.

"I love you too...c'mere..." He took Jack's hands and they sat down on the bed, crawling up to the pillows and continuing to kiss. Ennis pressed a hand to Jack's chest and pushed gently. "Lie down, darlin'..." Jack did so and lay back against the pillows, looking up at Ennis with complete trust in his eyes.

Ennis straddled him and stroked his chest, gazing lovingly down at him. "So beautiful..." His hand brushed lower down and Jack gasped.

"Come on, Ennis...fuck me...please..." His large blue eyes were full of need. "I want you..."

"Alright, bud...just relax." Ennis leaned over to the nightstand and pulled out the necessities; two condoms and the lube. He prepared himself and Jack and then allowed Jack to pull one of his legs out from under him, settling in between them. He looked down and saw his favourite place to be in the whole world; the space in between Jack's legs.

He lifted his lover's legs and Jack wrapped them around his waist, biting his lip in anticipation and remembering the overwhelming bliss he would be feeling from having Ennis inside him, making love to him. They shifted into position and Ennis looked into Jack's eyes, seeking permission.

"Go ahead," he whispered. "I'm ready." Ennis nodded and pushed his way inside, taking it slowly and wanting this to be good for Jack. He knew that it usually was; Jack had never complained about their sex life so far. He'd told Ennis more than once that he loved every time they were together like this.

When he was fully inside Jack, he let out a sigh at the warmth that welcomed him. "Oh, darlin'...feels so good..."

Jack grinned breathlessly. "Thanks. Oh..." He felt Ennis stretch him and his eyes slid shut. "Oh God..." His head fell back and to the side, exposing the skin of his neck for Ennis to latch onto as he began to thrust, keeping the rhythm slow and steady. He kissed Jack's neck and breathed in his unique scent. Jack smelt of the champagne they'd consumed earlier, the chill of the night around them, and the beginnings of sweat as their bodies moved together. It was a very musky smell that sent electric shocks down Ennis's spine, making him even harder as he moved inside Jack.

About halfway through, as they were moving together and breathing heavily, Ennis rose up just in time to see Jack opening his eyes, and the sight of his lover like that did strange things to his stomach. Jack looked beautiful like that; there was no other word for it. Eyes half-shut, cheeks flushed, hair in disarray and sweat forming on his forehead...even while looking so dishevelled, he looked perfect to Ennis. He couldn't help but lean down and kiss Jack, tongue seeking entrance and finding Jack's. His hands gripped Jack's hair as he relentlessly thrust into him continually, going deeper every time.

Jack moaned and pulled Ennis closer, tongue moving around Ennis's mouth as if he were trying to count all his teeth. Ennis gave back as good as he got, thrusting even harder until Jack could feel the familiar warmth in his stomach, signalling the end. A few more thrusts in his ass and he was coming, groaning into Ennis's ear and shaking all over as he rode it out. Jack clenching all around him sent Ennis into oblivion, coming harder than he ever had before and fixing his lips on Jack's neck as he finished, heart blazing with love for the man lying with him, who made him feel complete even when they weren't doing this. But when they were, they both felt as if the other half of their soul was right here with them.

They collapsed together and Ennis sank down onto Jack, going soft and pulling out before relaxing, head resting on Jack's shoulder. His entire body felt soaked with sweat and from the feel of things, Jack's was too. But neither of them cared as they laid there, breath coming back to them. To them, it was a symbol of how good they were together and how they made each other feel.

"Wow..." Jack breathed, hands gently playing with Ennis's curls. "That was...definitely one of the best..."

"Sure was...think I pulled something..."

"You okay?" Jack asked in concern, rubbing Ennis's back.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Always fine with you..."

Jack smiled. "Don't fall asleep yet...gotta get these things off."

"Right." Ennis pushed himself up and rolled off Jack onto his side of the bed, sighing. He took off the condoms and tied them, throwing them to the nightstand.

"Lazy bastard," Jack said with a grin. They got themselves under the covers and Ennis pulled him close, hand in his hair.

"Happy New Year, darlin'," he murmured, kissing Jack softly. Jack smiled at him.

"Happy New Year, baby." They kissed a few more times and then huddled together to keep warm, wondering what this forthcoming year might bring. They knew that no matter what, they would be facing it together.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_January 2nd, 2010_

The day after New Year's, Ennis and Jack were making the most of the time they had left. Ennis would have to return to work on Monday and Jack needed to start looking for another job. He wasn't short of cash, but he knew that his savings wouldn't last long without further income, and he didn't want to be living off Ennis, no matter how much he appreciated the offer.

As agreed between them, they would buy souvenirs for Alma and Lureen today, and then spend tomorrow at Long Island to talk with Jack's parents before leaving. Despite Jack being unwilling to talk to his father upon their arrival, he was now reluctant to leave. A part of him was worried that his father would die while he was on the other side of the country. Karen had reassured him that it wasn't likely, but he didn't like to think on it.

The two of them browsed through a marketplace, looking for gifts for the girls. They felt as if they were always buying jewellery for them, so were looking for something different. Jack stopped at a perfume stall, sniffing and liking the scent. He knew that Lureen liked perfume, and suspected that Alma did too. "Look at these."

Ennis turned and saw where Jack was looking. "Huh. Sure is different from all the other stuff we buy them. What kind of perfume does Lureen like?"

"As far as I know, she likes the heavy stuff, you know? The strong stuff that you can really smell when she's wearing it. What about Alma?"

"She likes lighter stuff. Like...I don't know...fruity stuff. Or...there was this aqua one she really liked." The two of them looked through the bottles, asking the merchant for advice and selecting their gifts.

When they were done, they decided to get some lunch. They stopped by a small café and sat down at a table in the corner, looking out the window at the busy street. They were close to an entrance of the park and Jack looked at it, thinking.

He was no longer scared of the area, thanks to what Ennis had done for him. He'd remained by Jack's side while walking through, and had managed to get him through sex from behind. That was something that he'd never expected to get through, and had told Ennis so a few months ago, when they'd first discussed sex. Yet they'd gotten through it, and he'd actually enjoyed it. Ennis made him feel like nothing on earth could hurt him. He always felt safe when he was in Ennis's arms.

His thoughts were interrupted by Ennis taking his hand across the table, squeezing his fingers. "You okay?" Jack nodded.

"Yeah. I know I wasn't completely happy about coming here, with my dad and Central Park and everything. But now...I'm a little sad to be leaving. I've actually enjoyed it."

Ennis smiled. "Good. I have too. Always wanted to come here. I love San Francisco, but...it's different here." He thought for a moment. "You know...I've been thinking about this summer. You still wanna come to my uncle's ranch?"

"Sure. I don't mind a little hard work. And I'd like to see a little more of your world. You've seen plenty of mine." He smiled back at Ennis and then a waitress came over.

"What can I get you boys?" she asked, smiling at them and not even blinking at the fact they were holding hands.

"Um..." They looked at the menu together and nodded at each other. "I think we'll split a tuna melt, and can we have some fries and side salad too?" She nodded and wrote the order down. When she'd gone, Ennis pulled out his cell phone.

"I'm gonna call my mom and see how she is," he said absent-mindedly, and Jack nodded. He knew that Ennis wanted to try and make things up with his parents, but that this could only happen if they accepted Jack and Ennis's relationship with him. It wouldn't be easy, but he had to try. Jack wondered if him repairing his relationship with his own father was making Ennis think about his parents.

"Alright, bud." He gave Ennis's hand a squeeze and looked out of the window once more as Ennis dialled.

"Hello?"

"Hey, mom. It's me."

"Hey, sweetie. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Still in New York with Jack, we're leaving the day after tomorrow."

"Right. You have a good time out there?"

"Yeah, it's been great." He looked over at his lover, smiling. "Rang in the New Year together...we even went to an AIDS hospice to talk to the people there."

His mother was quiet for a moment. "I see. Well, that was a real nice gesture. Is Jack okay?"

"He's fine. We both are. I've really enjoyed this. Um...hang on a moment." He put the phone under his chin. "Is it okay if I tell her about your dad?" Jack shrugged and nodded. "Thing is, mom...Jack's dad's ill at the moment. And...Jack's taking it hard. So I'm just trying to do whatever I can to help him out."

"That's a great thing of you to do, Ennis. Um...are you thinking of coming back up here to the house sometime?"

"Maybe. But only if you can be civil to Jack."

"I understand, Ennis. I've been talking to your dad...he's a little more open to it now. And when Jack's mom spoke to me...well, it opened my eyes. I reckon we might be okay to have Jack here. I'd like to get to know him."

Ennis smiled a little. "Well...I reckon we could come up sometime. Anyway...we'd better get back to lunch. It'll be here soon." He wanted to leave things for now and be alone with Jack.

"Sure enough, honey." They clicked off and Ennis squeezed Jack's hand again.

"Looks like things are picking up for us, darlin'," he said softly, smiling at Jack. "Things are getting better."

Jack nodded and kissed his hand, knowing exactly how he was feeling.

* * *

After another wonderful day walking around the city, Ennis and Jack went back to the hotel for dinner. It would be their last big meal here; dinner tomorrow would be at Jack's parents' house, and they would be leaving the next day. The snow was still thick on the ground, so they played in it once more until they were wet and cold, heading back to get warm.

As they were getting ready for dinner, Jack stripped and sneakily followed Ennis into the shower, making him jump.

"Jesus, Jack...scared the life out of me..." Jack just smiled, wrapping his arms around Ennis and kissing him lightly.

"Aw, sorry about that, baby...can I make it up to you?" His deep blue eyes sparkled and Ennis couldn't help but agree. Before he could say anything, Ennis was watching Jack sink to his knees there in the shower and going down on him. He braced himself against the tiles as well as he could and just enjoyed what was going on.

When they finally emerged from the bathroom, Jack had one arm around Ennis, both of them half-dressed. He kissed Ennis's damp neck and rubbed his other hand against Ennis's crotch. Upon feeling Ennis growing hard once more, he pulled his hand away and put his shirt on, laughing when Ennis called him a tease.

At last, they exited their room and walked along the hall to the elevator, hands linked between them. Neither of them cared about stares or whisperings; they weren't ashamed of who they were.

They found a table booth in the corner and sat together, still holding hands. As it was their last big meal here, they wanted to make it special. The pair of them split a large mixed platter, full of different kinds of meat and savouries. Jack knew he shouldn't eat too much red meat, so he left most of it for Ennis.

"So," Ennis started as they began to eat. "You decided on what kind of job you want yet?"

"Not really," Jack replied, shaking his head. "My major was business, so...I could choose from a lot. Maybe even just something in an office."

"Would you be happy with that?" Ennis asked, knowing deep down that Jack wouldn't be. Jack wasn't the type to be happy in an office all day; Ennis knew he needed more from a job.

"No, but...it's still money. I don't know what I wanna do...never had anything specific in mind. I mean..." He shifted. "You love animals, and that's why you wanted to work at a vet's, right?"

"Yeah. Always knew it was what I wanted."

"Right. I've never felt like that about any kind of job. I don't know what I want. And...what if I get a job, and they find out about the HIV? It'll just be the same thing all over again." Jack looked pained. "I don't think I could go through that again. Once was bad enough."

Ennis squeezed his hand. "It'll be alright, bud. I'll be right there, no matter what." He smiled at Jack, who returned it.

"Thanks, Ennis. Means a lot to me, that you'd stand by me like that. Never had that before I met you."

"You've got it now," Ennis told him softly, gazing into those deep eyes he loved so much. Jack's face was shining in the soft candlelight, and Ennis dropped his gaze to Jack's lips, wanting to bring them to his own. Not caring in the slightest who might be watching, he leaned in to kiss Jack, pressing their mouths together. Jack melted into the kiss, surprised by the gentleness of it. He felt as if his spirit had left his body and was now floating, weightless. One of Ennis's hands came up to tangle in his hair, massaging the back of his head and making him sigh into Ennis's mouth. It was one of the most romantic kisses Ennis had ever given him, and he could feel pure happiness flooding through him.

After what felt like several sunlit days, they broke apart, Ennis keeping their faces close together as they stared at each other in wonder.

"Wow," Jack breathed, heart pounding. Ennis smiled at him. "That was..."

"Yeah. Sure was something." He gently touched Jack's lower lip. "Feels so good...kissing you..."

Jack gulped with the emotion running through him. "Baby...everything feels good with you." They nuzzled noses and then returned to their food. A few other people had seen their affection, and all but one were happy to see such love in their midst. It was clear to anyone who saw them that they were head over heels for each other.

They each had a piece of chocolate cake for dessert, Jack fixing his eyes on Ennis's and licking the spoon seductively with every bite. Ennis tried not to stare and instead focused on his own dessert.

When they were finally done, they decided to have a drink in the hotel bar. Sat in another booth in a corner, they relaxed with Ennis's arm around Jack, half-listening to the music. Jack was lazily running his hand along Ennis's leg; not in a sexual way but more for comfort. He sighed and rested his head on Ennis's shoulder.

"I love you, Ennis," he murmured, out of the blue. Ennis looked down at him.

"You drunk already?" he asked in amusement, and Jack laughed.

"No...just wanted to say it. I'm just really happy...being here with you. Been the best Christmas I've ever had. Even beats the ones I had as a kid." He looked up at Ennis. "I make you happy, don't I?" he asked, as if he really needed to know the answer.

Ennis tilted Jack's chin up and kissed him again. "You sure do, darlin'. More than I could ever tell you. Never been this happy before..."

Jack smiled. "Me neither." They finished their drinks and stood up. "Well...ready to head on up?" he asked, a wicked grin playing around his lips. Ennis smirked and took his hand.

"You bet, bud."

* * *

_January 4th, 2010_

It was finally time for Ennis and Jack to leave New York and go home, back to the West Coast. They had enjoyed their time out here, but they were eager to get home and to their regular lives. Jack wanted to find himself a new job and get back to work, and Ennis wanted to get back to his own job. This was his last day of the vacation and it was Tuesday tomorrow.

One of the reasons why Jack was sad to leave was because of his father; now that he was working towards having some kind of relationship with him, and that he was ill, Jack wanted to spend more time with him.

Still, when he and Ennis had suggested spending the weekend in New York, Jack's parents had been thrilled. They were looking forward to seeing their son more often. The Knicks were playing in a few weekends at the Garden and John wanted to take Ennis and Jack, which they had agreed to. He had been very accepting towards Ennis and this let Jack know that he was trying.

The two of them were in their room, packing on either side of the bed and talking.

"You know...I'm sure we're taking back more than we came with," Jack commented, looking down at his suitcase with his hands on his hips. Ennis smiled in amusement.

"That's always the case. But...only a few things are gifts for the girls. The rest is stuff we bought for ourselves."

"Yeah. Not to mention all that candy we ended up buying," Jack replied, remembering the candy store they'd found and the cookie dough bites they'd ended up consuming the night before in front of the TV in their room. Last night had been a lot of fun, as they'd sat up in bed, wearing their pyjamas and laughing at the rerun of Saturday Night Live. Their amusement had soon turned to passion for each other as they'd rolled around in bed together.

"Last night was great," Jack reminisced, smiling. "A lot of fun, huh?"

"Sure was." Ennis then looked at Jack. "Did you take your meds this morning? I don't remember you doing it..."

Jack nodded reassuringly. "Yep. I took them when you were in the shower. Don't worry, okay?"

"It's my job to worry about you," Ennis told him, giving Jack a serious look. Jack paused from his packing and looked up.

"Ennis..." he sighed, walking around the bed. He slid his arms through Ennis's and placed them around his waist. "It's okay. I appreciate you worrying about me...lets me know how much you care about me."

"I do, darlin'," he replied, looking into Jack's eyes. "I care about you so much." He bit his lip, wondering if he could bring himself to admit his deepest fear. Jack saw something in his eyes and tilted his head.

"What's wrong?" He began to rub Ennis's back. "Something's bugging you...I can tell."

Ennis sighed and sat down the bed, bringing Jack down with him. "Thing is...I get scared for you, Jack. Every morning, I...I wake up and look over at you, to make sure...you're still..." He couldn't go on, but just looked down. Jack sighed and put his arms around Ennis.

"Baby...it's okay. I'm fine. My doctor's keeping a close eye on me, and the meds. He knows what he's doing. Honestly..."

"I know," Ennis sighed, leaning his head against Jack's. "I just get worried. I don't ever wanna lose you."

"You won't," Jack told him, kissing his cheek. "Now come on...we've gotta make that flight. You ready to move?" Ennis nodded and they kissed before getting up and continuing to pack. They finally got all of their luggage in their suitcases and headed out, locking the door behind them after making sure they had everything.

They had to be at the airport in an hour for check-in, so they had a little time to kill. Ennis called them a cab and they sat outside the hotel, waiting. The cab came soon enough and they headed for the airport, Jack sending a goodbye text message to his mother.

When they got to the airport they checked in and waited on the chairs, Jack lying back and resting his head on Ennis's leg. They talked and read a while until it was time for them to head on through to the boarding area. There was some more waiting, and then they could board. Jack was already thinking of them joining the Mile High Club once more, and kept giving Ennis that look. Ennis knew what it meant; Jack was after sex, and Ennis was more than willing to co-operate.

Once seated on the plane, Jack smiled at Ennis and kissed his cheek. "Can't wait to get back home. Whose place are we sleeping at?" he asked, twining his fingers through Ennis's.

"Um, you wanna come back to mine? You're welcome to stay there tomorrow while I'm out...look for work. In fact, I...I was thinking...what if we gave each other a key to our places? I mean...we're gonna move in together one day, right?"

Jack smiled wider and nodded. "I'd love that, Ennis. It's a first step. And...I'd like to stay at your place tomorrow. I'll make you something for lunch when you get home." He kissed Ennis and settled against him. "Looks like we're really moving forward, Ennis..."

"Yeah. I love you, Jack." He loved the idea of coming home to Jack; to find him ready and waiting. He would never think of Jack as a wife, and he knew that Jack was going to find another job of his own. That was okay; he figured that whoever got home first would make dinner, or they would take it in turns if they finished at the same time. The notion of setting up home with Jack was very appealing.

Halfway through the flight, Jack started whispering in Ennis's ear and kissed his cheek, heading for the bathroom. Ennis waited a few minutes, and then followed him.

* * *

They arrived home a few hours later, glad to be back. It was nearly seven by the time they got back to the city, so they decided to grab some take-out on the way home.

Once inside Ennis's apartment, they settled themselves on the sofa and stretched out, at either end with their feet loosely rubbing together. Ennis switched the TV to a random channel and they steadily ate their way through the Chinese food they'd picked up.

"So, are we really gonna swap keys?" Jack asked, remembering what Ennis had suggested on the plane. Ennis nodded.

"I'd sure like to, Jack. I mean...if we're gonna move in together like we said...makes a good first step. Could get used to coming home and seeing you there."

Jack smiled. "I'd like that too. So...how do we do it? Just go and get a copy made?"

"Guess so." They smiled at each other and carried on eating, half-listening to the TV. Then Ennis spoke again. "So are you gonna go and look for work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, don't know where, though. It's like I said before...I don't know what I wanna do. I never gave it much thought when I was younger, and I picked business as my major because I thought it'd be broad enough to cover a lot of ground. But after I was attacked...didn't have much hope for anything."

Ennis looked at him sadly and rubbed his foot against Jack's. "Sorry, bud. Didn't mean to do that to you."

Jack shook his head. "It's okay. I've more or less come to terms with it. Mostly thanks to you." He smiled at Ennis, who looked uncertain.

"Don't know if I did much, Jack..."

"Are you kidding? Ennis..." He put his food down and crawled over to Ennis, touching his cheek. "You've done so much for me. You helped me in the park, kept me calm when we were near that spot. You held me and told me that everything would be okay...and what you did for me that night...helping me to relax when taking it from behind..." He kissed Ennis's cheek. "I never thought I'd ever be able to do that again, but thanks to you...I did. And I don't regret a second of it. I trusted you to do the right thing and help me, and you did it."

He smiled up at Ennis, who felt his heart burst with everything he was feeling for this man; his wonderful Jack who was still so perfect in spite of what he'd been through. In fact, Ennis had often thought to himself that it was Jack's imperfections that made him perfect. That didn't make much sense, but he knew it was true. Jack was perfect to him.

"Love you, darlin'," he managed to get out, feeling choked up from the emotions inside him. Jack kissed his cheek again, a little longer this time. He then picked his food back up and carried on eating, relaxing against Ennis and settling down. Ennis kissed the top of Jack's head before returning to his own food.

When they were done, Jack cleared up and then gave Ennis the familiar look; unbridled lust mixed in with love. It was a look that told Ennis how much he meant to Jack; they'd been together for a few months now and were starting to make big commitments to one another. And maybe it was going a little faster than he'd expected, but all of it felt right.

He got up and brought Jack into his arms, kissing him lightly. "Ready to go to bed, bud?" Jack nodded, kissing his neck.

"Uh huh..." They slowly made their way to the bedroom, stopping now and then to kiss. Once inside, they moved close together and began to undress each other, kissing skin as it was exposed. Jack knew what he wanted there and then; he wanted Ennis inside him. He wanted to be held and made love to by the man who he knew for sure was his other half.

"What do you want, darlin'?" Ennis murmured, nuzzling his face in Jack's neck and hands roaming over his stomach.

"I want you inside me," Jack breathed, tilting his head to the side as Ennis kissed his neck.

"Yeah?" Ennis murmured, slowly pushing Jack to the bed. His arousal was evident between his legs and Jack noticed, grinning when he saw how much Ennis wanted him. "Think I can do that..."

They fell onto the bed, kissing and crawling up to the top, where Jack lay back and gazed up at Ennis, breathing deeply. Their coupling was slow and sweet, just the way they both liked it more than any other. When Ennis collapsed onto Jack and breathed in his scent, he felt as if he was on cloud nine, and that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

A little later, Jack rolled on top of Ennis and straddled him, smiling. He wasn't after another round, but he just wanted to lie here with the man he loved.

"You know something...you've got beautiful eyes," he said softly, stroking Ennis's cheek. Ennis blushed.

"Don't know about that. They're brown, Jack. You know what else is brown?" He saw Jack laughing silently at him.

"I know, but...it's not the only thing. Chocolate's brown, and you know how much I love that stuff. And I've noticed that your eyes have a little green in them. Can't see it all the time, but...it's there. And sometimes, when you're looking at me, I could swear that your eyes are the same colour as honey. All warm and soft...I like it."

Ennis gulped. Nobody, not even Alma, had complimented him like this. While he'd been told that he had a good body, nobody had ever commented on his eyes before. He pulled Jack close to him and kissed him, hand tangling in his hair.

"Love you," he murmured, resting his forehead against Jack's.

"I love you too," Jack replied, kissing him once more.

* * *

The next day, during Ennis's lunch break, he and Jack met up with Alma and Lureen at the coffee place.

Jack had hung around Ennis's place for most of the morning, venturing out to make a copy of his apartment key and to get a change of clothes. They had agreed to swap keys that evening over dinner, and were looking forward to a romantic meal together.

The four of them were sat in the usual booth in the corner, the girls exclaiming over their gifts and thanking them.

"Oh, you guys!" said Lureen, after sniffing the perfume and finding that it was to her liking. "You didn't have to do this, it was your vacation."

Jack shrugged and smiled at her. "We wanted to. You're our friends and you've always been good to us. Just seemed fair that we buy you something." The girls thanked them again and Lureen got up to get them some coffee.

"So, how'd the rest of it go? You said something about the AIDS hospice."

"Yep. We went over there, talked to the guys that live there. They were really nice, and...it just felt good to be there. Made a donation to them."

"That was good of you guys. And, um...your dad...how is he? You said he's ill."

"Yeah, cancer," Jack replied in a low voice. "Said the docs can't do anything...he's got about six months."

"I'm sorry, Jack..." Lureen said, squeezing his hand. "After everything you've been through already..."

Jack shook his head. "It's okay. We've been talking, and...I think it's gonna be okay. We've decided that me and Ennis are gonna spend weekends over there, and stay in the house. We can go to games with my dad, and...you know?"

"Sure. Sounds like a good idea. And I'm glad you guys are working it out. I know it hasn't been easy for you..."

"It hasn't," Jack admitted. He then looked over at Ennis. "This one's been my rock through it all," he said softly, taking Ennis's hand. The girls smiled.

"That's good. And I'm glad you sorted out the thing with Central Park. I know that was like a black cloud hanging over you," Lureen said to him, and Jack nodded.

"It was...but Ennis really helped me. He stood by me and never left. He's been great." Jack kissed Ennis's hand and smiled at him.

Eventually, Lureen returned to her shift and Alma had to run an errand, leaving Ennis and Jack alone in their booth. Jack turned to his lover and rested against him, fingers lacing through Ennis's.

"I had a good time, Ennis. Can't wait to go back again."

"Me neither, darlin'. I love seeing you happy, bud. It's all I've ever wanted," Ennis said softly, nuzzling his nose in Jack's dark hair. Jack nodded.

"I know that, baby. I feel the same..." He looked up into Ennis's eyes. "I...I'm so much in love with you, Ennis. It's the strongest I've ever felt for anyone in my life."

"I know what you mean, Jack. You mean a whole lot to me, darlin'." He kissed Jack lightly and they sat there in silence, enjoying their time together.

Ennis went back to work afterwards, and Jack stuck around to browse through the paper for job adverts. Lureen kept filling his coffee mug and chatting to him now and then. He found a few potential jobs and circled them, knowing that it would fill his time until he had to meet up with Ennis for their romantic dinner.

Jack spent his day walking around the city, dropping off résumés and looking for more opportunities. He found a few that he might be good at, but none of them were particularly appealing. He remembered what Ennis had said; to think about what he liked most, what he had a passion for, and then use this to find a job he would like.

But truth be told, he didn't know what he had a passion for. Ennis loved animals, so a vet's assistant was an obvious choice for him. Maybe he would become a vet himself one day; his major at college certainly allowed for it.

He sighed to himself and continued to pound the streets, looking for work.

Jack handed out all the résumés he had with him and then checked his watch; Ennis would be done soon and ready to meet him. He waited at the edge of the park and looked around, shivering a little against the chill.

Ennis soon joined him and they headed back to his place. He then shooed Jack onto the sofa and got dinner ready. Jack kissed him and sat down, looking forward to what Ennis would cook for them. Ennis was a good cook and he knew exactly what Jack could and couldn't eat; Jack appreciated how much he cared about him.

When Ennis called him into the kitchen, Jack paused in his tracks. There were two plates on the table, full of what looked to be a succulent steak dinner, and candles all around. He smiled at the display. "Ennis...this looks great."

Ennis smiled and kissed him. "Come on, darlin'." They sat down and tucked in, Jack enjoying every single part of it.

Afterwards, they sat looking at each other, smiling and holding hands. "You ready?" Ennis asked, feeling a little nervous even though they had already discussed it. Jack nodded.

"You bet." They let go of each other and dug into their pockets, extracting the spare keys they had had made. "Well, here we go..."

"Yeah." They both extended the keys in their right hands, and took them with their left hands, smiling at each other.

"I love you, Ennis," Jack said to him, taking his hand. Ennis kissed his fingers, smiling back at him.

"I love you too."

Later, when they were lying in bed, Ennis held his lover close and kissed him fiercely, heart swelling with the blazing love he felt for him. He was happy with Jack and looking forward to the future they would be having together.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_January 7th, 2010_

Jack was in Ennis's apartment, keeping an eye on the lunch he was preparing for the two of them. Ennis was home and currently in the bathroom, and Jack was browsing through the newspaper for job openings.

They'd been back for three days and while he'd applied for a few jobs, he hadn't heard anything back from any of them. He'd had some experience of retail, but he knew it probably wasn't enough to get him into the business world.

Still, he was happy. He and Ennis were together and moving forward in their relationship, already talking about moving in together. That was reason enough for him to be happy.

He flipped a page over and paused as he saw the advert. It was at the local clinic, and was an opening especially for people with HIV and AIDS. He could hardly believe his eyes. The job was simply to go down there every other day, and donate fluids for tests to be run on. He would have to have a jab in the arm for blood, and would have to jerk off to provide a sperm sample. It was simple enough, and the money was good, more than he'd been making at the store.

It was as though a light bulb had been switched on in his head. Ennis had advised him to look inside himself and figure out what he was passionate about, and then use this knowledge to seek an appropriate job. As he looked down at the advert, everything seemed to fall into place. He was passionate about wanting a cure for the deadly virus, having to live with it every day. And he knew that he didn't like the idea of so many other people suffering from it; he wouldn't wish it on anyone. It seemed like a perfect job; he would be helping to try and find a cure, and would be getting paid for it, too.

"Ennis!" he yelled, jumping off the sofa. Ennis rushed out of the bathroom, alarmed by Jack's voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern, putting his hands on Jack's shoulders. Jack shook his head and held out the paper.

"Nothing, but look at this." Ennis took the paper and read the advert, realising what Jack was so excited about.

"Oh...so is this...?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I think I've found the perfect job for me, Ennis. I can do this..."

Ennis saw the light in his eyes; the one that he hadn't seen for weeks, not since before Jack's HIV status had been exposed to his workmates. He smiled and nodded back.

"This really what you wanna do, darlin'?" he asked, rubbing Jack's shoulder.

"Yeah, it is. I'd be helping to find a cure for this thing. And who knows...if it works...I might be able to get cured. And I could help others."

Ennis felt his heart melt at how caring Jack was. Sure, they would be paying him for his help, but Ennis knew that it was more about the principle. Jack wanted to do something good with his life, something that would help others. Ennis knew what a wonderful man he'd found himself.

"If this is what you want, darlin'...you know I'll support you. I told you to figure out what you're passionate about, and then use that knowledge to find a job you could do well. So...if this is the job for you...I'm right behind you all the way."

Jack grinned widely and hugged him, happier than he had been in weeks. "Ennis...thank you. It means a lot to me that you're supporting me for this." He pulled away slightly but remained in Ennis's arms. "I know I can do this...I just have to go down there every other day and donate. We can still have sex, I reckon. I think we'll just have to do it on nights where I don't have to go down there the next day."

"Sounds fair. I think we can both go a day without doing it," Ennis replied, smirking.

"There's just one other thing...apart from having to jerk off, they also want me to donate blood for tests. So...I'm gonna be having jabs. Obviously, they'll cover the marks up afterwards, like with a Band-Aid or something, but...I thought you should know."

"We'll be okay, Jack. Anyway...we gonna have lunch?"

"Yeah, it should be ready by now." Just as Jack was about to prise himself away, Ennis pulled him back and kissed him deeply, tongue pushing into his mouth. Jack made a surprised sound and then kissed back, melting into his lover's embrace.

Ennis didn't say so, but seeing Jack so passionate about something for the first time since he'd known him was a powerful aphrodisiac, and he couldn't deny that he was turned on to see his lover like this.

All the way through lunch, they ate one-handed, clasping their free hands across the table. Ennis was glad that Jack had finally found something he would like to do, and when he thought about it, he realised that it was a good idea. Jack knew exactly what people with HIV went through on a daily basis, and it made some kind of sense for him to help with finding a cure. Ennis trusted that Jack knew what he was doing.

"I'm real glad you've found something you wanna do, Jack," he said to him, smiling. Jack squeezed his hand.

"Thanks, bud." His eyes then glittered with lust. "I can think of something else I wanna do, preferably tonight." He ran his foot up Ennis' leg, leaving Ennis in no doubt as to what it was.

"Really? Sounds good to me." They carried on eating, enjoying the food and the company. Neither of them could wait to move in together.

When it was time for Ennis to go back to work, Jack kissed him goodbye and then went down to the clinic. He dropped his résumé off and decided to spend the afternoon on the phone to his mom.

* * *

That night after dinner, Jack was on cloud nine. He'd received a call from the clinic just a few hours after dropping in, and they had invited him to an interview. They had said that since he was positive but otherwise healthy, he was an ideal candidate for the programme and that he had a good chance of getting the job.

Ennis made them dinner and then they sat down on the sofa together, kissing and completely oblivious to what was on the TV. Jack was pressing himself against Ennis and kissing him deeply, as if trying to push his tongue all the way down Ennis's throat.

"Mmm," he moaned, hand drifting down Ennis's stomach to stroke him through his jeans. "Look what I found..."

"Yep, you found it," Ennis replied breathlessly, bucking into Jack's hand. "But I thought...you wanted to fuck me?"

"I sure do, but I'll take care of you, too." Jack kissed him again and pulled him off the sofa, dragging him through the room towards the bedroom.

Once inside, they fell onto the bed and Jack immediately went for Ennis's buttons. "C'mere...wanna be inside you..."

Ennis nodded and allowed himself to be stripped, having no desire to slow down right now. They were both soon naked and lying down properly, kissing heavily and rubbing their smooth, sweaty bodies together. Jack was rock hard and wanted Ennis very badly.

"Can I?" he panted, looking down at Ennis. His dark hair was in his eyes, which were clouded with lust. Ennis nodded again, desire for Jack building up.

"Yeah...do it, come on..." Jack kissed him again and reached for a condom and the lube, rearing up onto his knees and looking down at his lover. He ran his hands over Ennis's chest and grinned seductively.

"Gonna fuck you good," he murmured, causing Ennis to grow even harder. He put the rubber on and coated it with the lube, pushing Ennis's legs up and settling in between his thighs. Ennis wrapped his legs around Jack's waist and grabbed his ass, urging him on. Jack started to push in, remembering even in his lust to take this part slowly for Ennis.

When he was fully inside his lover, he started off slow, knowing that it was better to build up a pace. He thrust slowly and deeply, kissing Ennis's neck and hearing him give a soft moan, knowing that he was doing exactly what Ennis needed.

"Oh, Jack...oh God..." He let his head drop to the side, so that Jack had further access to his neck. Jack kissed the spot over and over, biting gently. He then started to pick up the pace, going faster and even deeper. Ennis groaned.

"You like that, baby?" Jack breathed in his ear, knowing he was driving Ennis crazy. Ennis could only nod in reply, and eagerly met his thrusts, raising his hips in time to Jack's movements. He pushed back with every thrust and was now painfully hard.

"Jack...jerk me off," he moaned, needing release. Jack's hand wandered down and grabbed hold of him, stroking him in time to his thrusts. It only took a few strokes until Ennis shot in between them with a loud groan, muscles clamping up until he was done. The feeling of Ennis clenching around him sent Jack into oblivion, coming harder than he ever had before and shuddering all over.

They collapsed together, seeing stars before their eyes. It was starting to feel to both of them that every time they had sex was the best time ever. This time was certainly one they would remember for a long while.

"Fuck," Jack breathed, nuzzling into the damp blonde curls and slipping out of Ennis.

"Yeah...you did say you were gonna fuck me good..." Ennis replied, grinning breathlessly. Jack started laughing, shaking against him.

"Did I fuck your brains out?" he asked, stroking Ennis's chest, liking the soft hair and twirling it around his finger.

"Think so. I'll find them later." His deadpan tone made Jack laugh even harder, and he rose up. The sight of each other like this, in post-coital happiness, made their love for one another that little bit more intense. They had made each other look like this; that was the best part.

"I love you," Jack said when he had recovered enough to speak. He ran his hands through Ennis's hair, smiling down at him and kissing the tip of his nose.

"I love you too," Ennis replied, pulling his face down for a sweet kiss and gently curling his tongue around Jack's. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just kissing and enjoying the aftermath of their lovemaking. They loved this part just as much as the act before; it was intimate and precious, full of the trust they held for one another. Ennis was completely at ease, lying naked here with another man. Jack made him feel relaxed and safe to show vulnerability.

When they pulled apart, Jack heard his stomach rumbling and Ennis rolled his eyes.

"You still hungry? After dinner?" he asked in disbelief. _Only Jack, _he thought affectionately.

"Guess I worked up an appetite," Jack replied with a wink, and got up to dispose of the condom. "You want anything?"

"Sure, whatever you wanna bring in." Ennis laid there and relaxed as he heard Jack move around in the kitchen. He liked this feeling of domesticity; to hear Jack move around his apartment. They hadn't really discussed the finer points of moving in together, such as if one of them would move in with the other, or if they would find a new place together, but there was plenty of time for that. While he would always be concerned for Jack's health, he knew that there was no point in worrying too much. The men at the AIDS hospice had advised them to 'live in the now', and not worry about how many days they had left to live. He was determined to make every remaining day of Jack's life a good one.

* * *

On Friday, Jack had his interview for the job at the clinic, and Ennis walked back into the bedroom to see him pulling on his suit jacket. He gave a low whistle.

"You look good there, darlin'," he commented, feeling a little turned on by Jack looking like that. Jack turned and grinned at him.

"Thanks, bud. I'm kind of nervous..." He certainly looked like that, and Ennis came over to him, kissing him lightly.

"You're gonna be fine. They already said you'd be good for it, so...just try and have a little faith, okay?" He kissed Jack again and led him through the apartment to get a decent breakfast in him.

They reluctantly said goodbye at the entrance to the park and went their separate ways, Jack trying to calm himself as he approached the clinic. It was just a few streets away and he'd been in before, looking for information on HIV.

When he stepped inside, he went to the front desk to tell them he was here for an interview, and they told him to wait. Eventually, they called him back over and directed him down the hall to his interviewer.

He knocked on the door and waited. "Come in." Jack braced himself and entered, seeing a man who was considerably older than himself and Ennis, but looked friendly all the same.

"Uh, hi. I'm Jack Twist, and I'm here for the interview..."

"Right, come on in. Take a seat." Jack did so, taking deep, calming breaths. "Okay, Jack. So...I read your résumé and even though you don't have much experience, I know that this is irrelevant to the job opening. You are positive, correct?"

"Yeah. I've got a written copy of my test results from when I was diagnosed," Jack replied, taking them from his suit pocket. He'd asked for these five years ago, in case anybody should ever need to see them. "And I've got a copy of my meds subscription, if you need it."

"Thank you." The man, who was named Dr Joe Richardson, looked through the documents, nodding as he did so. "That all seems to be in order," he then said, handing them back. "Alright then...so, you were told of what this job entails, right?"

"Yeah, I was. It's basically test samples, right?"

"Pretty much. You give us samples of your blood and sperm, and we use it for analysis and trying to find a cure. And you will be paid weekly, like a regular job. You'll be earning above minimum wage, not bad if I do say so. The thing is, Jack...we've had this position open for a while now, and nobody has replied until you came along. We know there must be positive men and even women in the city, and yet nobody has come forward."

"Maybe they're not convinced you'll ever find a cure," Jack suggested, hoping against hope that they would.

"Perhaps. This is why I'm certain you'll be a valuable asset to us. So...your job would be pretty simple. You come down here every other day, except the weekend. You'll have an ID card so the people at the front desk know why you're there. Then you will be led to a side room, where a blood sample will be taken and you'll be given the privacy to produce your sperm." He gave a small smile. "You will be given the...appropriate materials to help." Jack's cheeks reddened a little.

"Right."

"So then...I think that's everything I needed to say. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah, one. The thing is...I'm seeing someone, and..."

"Say no more," Joe interrupted, understanding. "We have such a system in place for this occurrence. You will, if it is convenient, come down here Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to donate. That will give you Tuesday, Thursday and the weekend for...regular activities."

Jack nodded; that seemed fair. He and Ennis would be able to have sex on the nights where he didn't have to donate the next day. That gave them four nights a week to themselves.

"That sounds okay. So...do I qualify for the job?"

Joe smiled. "Certainly, if you want to take it."

"I do...I wouldn't mind helping to find a cure, and help others. I've been in an AIDS hospice...it's awful to think of what they've been through."

"It is. Well...I think that's everything. Can you start on Monday?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Jack replied. He was very glad that he wouldn't have to work on the weekends, with their plans to go back to New York. "What time?"

"Could you be here by ten? It won't take long, but you can stay as long as the clinic is open if you need to."

"Okay, thanks." They shook hands and Jack left, a bright grin on his face. Not only had he found himself a new job that paid well, but it was one that would actually mean something. He would be helping to try and find a cure, and he would feel like he had a purpose again.

When he was in the coffee house at lunch, he told Lureen about his new job, and she was ecstatic for him. Then Ennis walked in the door and Jack jumped up, pushing himself into Ennis's arms.

"Woah there, bud. You okay?"

Jack grinned and kissed him. "I got the job!" Ennis's face lit up.

"Oh, Jack...that's great!" They kissed again and went to sit down, Jack telling Ennis about what he would be doing. He told Ennis about the schedule and when they would be able to have sex. Ennis agreed that it was fair, and knew that it was a small price to pay for Jack's happiness. His lover looked so full of life right then that Ennis would have agreed to once a week if need be. He was glad that this wasn't the case, though. He wanted them to have a good time tonight, and they could do plenty over the weekend while they were in New York. He was looking forward to it already.

* * *

That evening, Ennis and Jack decided to celebrate Jack's new job by going out with the girls for a drink. Alma had the night off and Lureen was up for a night out with them, so the four of them decided to splash out and go to Bin 38, a wine bar up in Marina.

They all sat in a booth and Ennis ordered champagne for them, determined to make this a special night for Jack. He was so proud of Jack for finding himself a good set-up at the clinic, and for choosing a job that would help others, and possibly himself. Ennis didn't know if they would ever find a cure for HIV, but if Jack was happy to devote his time to finding one, then Ennis was happy for him.

When their glasses were full, he proposed a toast. "I just wanna say, I'm really proud of Jack for finding himself a good job like this. He's been pretty miserable these past few weeks since leaving the store and...I didn't really know how to help him. I just tried to love him and tell him it would be okay. So when he showed me the ad in the paper for the job, and I saw the look in his eyes, I knew it was the job for him. I know he won't have to do much for it, but that doesn't matter because he's happy. That's all I've ever wanted for him. So, Jack..." he finished, raising his glass. "Congratulations, bud. Hope it goes well."

Jack smiled at him as the girls raised their glasses. They made their own toasts to him and decided to go for dinner at a nearby restaurant. Ennis and Jack didn't want to be out too late; they had an early flight tomorrow. They had agreed to split the costs of their trips to New York; Ennis would initially pay whatever they were spending, and then Jack would pay him back his half as and when he could. They would have this arrangement for now, while Jack was still in between jobs, and then work it out as they went once he had more money at his disposal. Ennis figured that maybe he could pay for the flight and Jack could pay for meals; they would be staying at Jack's parents' house during their trips, so that erased the cost of hotels.

After dinner, the girls bid goodnight to them and retreated home, leaving the two lovers alone. They slowly walked up through Jack's building, ready to tumble into bed. Both of them knew that they wouldn't be going straight to sleep, but still.

Once through the door, Jack locked it and leaned against it, pulling Ennis close by the front of his jacket. "Come here..." Their lips met gently, kissing warmly as Ennis moved into Jack's arms, sliding his hands around his lover's waist. He gave a low, soft moan as Jack rubbed his back.

"Wanna go to bed?" Jack murmured, feeling himself becoming aroused. What he really wanted right now was an all-over massage, and he had a feeling that Ennis would be happy to oblige.

"Sure..." Ennis replied, kissing him again and taking his hand, leading him to the bedroom. They sat down on the bed together, kicking off their shoes and stretching.

"Ennis?" Jack asked, nuzzling his face in the familiar warm neck.

"Yeah, darlin'?" he replied, kissing Jack's face.

"Would you mind...giving me a massage tonight? All over, with the oil?"

"Sure, bud. Don't have to ask twice." They stripped off and Jack went to lie on his stomach, looking forward to having Ennis's hands on him.

Ennis did as he was asked, massaging Jack all over and then taking him into his mouth, making him moan and writhe on the bed until he was done. Jack then returned the favour, jerking Ennis off while kissing him deeply.

They lay together afterwards, Jack resting his head on Ennis's chest and gently playing with the blonde hairs. He was happy and warm, despite being naked in January. After what they'd just done, he knew he would be warm for a while.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to disturb the peace of the growing darkness.

"'Course you can," Ennis replied, stroking Jack's smooth back. A tingle went down Jack's spine as Ennis's hand brushed against his ass. It took him a moment to remember what he'd been about to say.

"Uh...I was wondering...when we move in together, where are we gonna live? Here? Your place? Somewhere new?"

Ennis thought it over; he'd been wondering the same thing. He liked Jack's apartment, and he knew that Jack liked his. But they both liked their own places, too. He decided that now was the time to voice his thoughts.

"Well, I was thinking...that one of us could move in with the other for now. Then later, maybe when we're like...thirty...we could leave the city and move into a house. Settle down, you know?"

Jack rose off his chest and smiled down at him. "Bud...that sounds great. You been thinking a lot about this?" It made some sort of sense; they were always talking about the future and what they might do.

"Yeah, kind of. I like thinking about the future, Jack...because I know I'll be spending it with you." He looked a little nervous at getting out his feelings like this, but he knew that Jack would never judge him. He never had.

Jack smiled and kissed him softly, cupping his cheek. "You sure will, baby. And I would love to buy a house with you one day. We'll talk more about apartment moving this weekend, okay? Maybe we'll just flip a coin for who moves."

"Yeah, I guess." Ennis set his alarm for the next day and Jack moved off him, keeping close. "Night, darlin'," he said, kissing Jack once more.

"Night, bud." He closed his eyes and settled down, somewhat aware of the fact that Ennis was watching him until he too fell asleep.

* * *

_January 9 - 10th, 2010_

As agreed over the week, Ennis and Jack spent the weekend in New York. Jack didn't know how much time his father had left, so they were both determined to make the most of the time they had. Ennis, for his part, was willing to support Jack in whatever he wanted to do.

On Saturday evening, the three of them went to a Knicks game and had a lot of fun. Jack could remember going to games with his father when he was younger, and he liked the feeling of reconnecting with him after all this time. He was certainly looking a lot happier these days than normal, and Ennis knew it was a combination of a new job that would give him a sense of purpose, their relationship moving forward and repairing his relationship with his father. Ennis was glad that he finally seemed truly happy. While he loved being the one who made Jack happy the most (and Jack had told him so), Ennis knew that Jack needed other things in his life to make him feel at peace, and it seemed as though he'd finally found them.

He thought about all of this as they sat at the table in Jack's parents' house. John and Karen had welcomed them with open arms, even allowing them to share a bedroom. He'd half-expected them to keep them apart. Still, as he and Jack made love that night, keeping quiet so as to not attract attention, he figured that in the light of John's illness, he and Karen had made their peace with the relationship, accepting that Ennis and Jack were together and that they were serious.

"What are you thinking about?" Jack murmured as he rested his head on Ennis's chest, basking in the afterglow on Saturday night. Ennis was threading his fingers lazily through Jack's hair.

"Us...how lucky we are," he replied, liking the feeling of Jack's warm body next to his. "I know things aren't perfect for us, Jack. But...they're still pretty good."

"Yeah," Jack agreed, stroking Ennis's chest and feeling the strong muscles there. He loved everything about Ennis's body, and told him so often enough. "Guess they are." He rose up to kiss Ennis softly. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, darlin'." They kissed again and Jack rolled on top of Ennis, straddling him and sinking down, head nestled in Ennis's shoulder.

"Not too heavy, am I?" Jack asked, now settled on top of Ennis. He wanted to sleep like this but would have moved if Ennis wanted him to.

"No, it's fine," Ennis replied, wrapping his arms around Jack and kissing his head. "Feels good..." He welcomed Jack's warm weight on top of him, buried under the covers together in a warm cocoon.

Jack made a contented purring sound and sighed, feeling so relaxed and knowing that he was about to fall asleep.

"Night, Ennis..." he murmured tiredly.

"Night, bud."

The next day, they spent most of their time in the city, just walking around and talking. This was one aspect of their relationship that they both loved; that they could talk to each other about everything. It showed that as well as being lovers, they were best friends. Jack had never felt so close to anyone in his life before Ennis.

They had lunch together, during which time Ennis's mother called to ask how they were both doing, and then spent the rest of the afternoon in the park, sitting on a bench together and enjoying the quiet away from the noise and crowds.

The two of them returned to the house for dinner, and Jack told his parents about his new job. They were pleased that Jack had found something that wasn't too strenuous, but would be a wonderful contribution to finding a cure for HIV.

Ennis and Jack hadn't yet told either set of parents about their plans for moving in together, but as they sat at the table, waiting for Karen to bring out dessert, they made a silent agreement to tell the elder Twists.

"Uh...mom? Dad?" Jack started when everybody was sat down. "There's something that Ennis and I wanna tell you. About us..."

They looked at their son and his boyfriend, wondering what might be going on. The two of them held hands tightly and Jack took a deep breath.

"Well, we've been talking it over for a while now. And...this is something that we both really want. It makes sense for us." He licked his lower lip before continuing. "The thing is...we're planning on moving in together."

Karen's face lit up, clearly happy for them. John looked surprised and then slowly nodded; Ennis could tell he was doing his best, and appreciated the effort he was making.

"Oh, you two...that's wonderful!" Karen said, smiling and coming around the table to hug them both. "Congratulations!"

"Uh, yeah...good on you both," John told them. He was happy that they were moving forward and making a real commitment to one another, and he just had to push down that last smidgeon of homophobia. He didn't feel any hatred towards his son anymore, but it wasn't easy to let go of what he'd been taught by his own father.

Still, when he saw the looks on their faces as their eyes met, he knew it was true love, and it wasn't his place to judge their feelings for one another.

When Ennis and Jack left and were making their way home on the plane, they were tired but happy. Coming out here had been a good idea, and they couldn't wait to do it again next weekend.

Jack rested his head on Ennis's shoulder as the flight wore on, falling asleep and dreaming of what the future might hold for them. He felt as if his life had finally started to come together, with a good job, accepting parents and a loving partner by his side. For the first time in five years, he felt good about the future.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_January 11th, 2010_

On Monday, Jack started his new job. Ennis had made him breakfast in bed that morning, as a good luck send-off on his first day. Jack was both excited and nervous about this, and he felt good about making a contribution to research into a cure. It turned out that the reason he had to contribute every other day was because the samples wouldn't last long while being tested; they needed a fresh supply all the time, especially since nobody else had come forward to help out.

When he got to the clinic, he was shown to a side room where a sample of his blood was taken. Then he was given a cup to jerk off into and was left to his own devices. He looked through the magazines; at least they'd given him some that appealed to gay men. While the pictures weren't anything to sneeze at, they didn't strike his fancy so much.

Instead, he sat down and opened up his jeans, thinking of Ennis. He was the one who could get Jack's blood pressure up. Jack knew that just thinking of his lover would do the job.

He relaxed in the chair and took hold of himself, starting off slowly and letting thoughts of Ennis fill his head. He thought of Ennis's body; how it was well-defined and that he could see every muscle when Ennis was naked. When he ran his hands over Ennis's body, he could feel every one of the muscles underneath them.

He thought about Ennis's strong arms and how it felt when they were holding him close. Ennis was a real man, and made Jack feel good when they were making love together.

As he picked up the pace on himself, now hard, and thought of having sex with Ennis. It was an experience unlike any other he'd ever had. Ennis knew exactly what to do with his body, and knew how to make him feel good.

He remembered what he and Ennis had done last night, in the shower. Ennis had gone down on him and then fucked him from behind, making him feel like his head was splitting in two. Then Ennis had taken him to bed and given him a massage to relax him. He had fallen asleep under Ennis's administrations.

Jack felt his orgasm coming closer and grabbed the cup, holding it in place and bucking his hips, ready for the explosion. He knew that thinking of Ennis would do the trick.

He came with a short cry and spurted into the cup, thoughts of Ennis on his mind. He then sat back in the chair and put the cup down, cleaning himself up with the tissues. He smiled to himself and zipped up, getting up and screwing the cap on the cup.

When he exited, he handed the cup to the front desk and was invited to stay as long as he wanted, since he was taking part in studies.

There was another hour to go until he was due to meet Ennis for lunch, so he picked up a few leaflets and settled down to read, hoping to kill the time.

After a few minutes, the doctor that had interviewed him came strolling along. "Hey, Jack."

"Oh, hey doc. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine. How did the first day go?"

"Okay. Getting kind of bored now that it's over, though," he admitted, hoping that he didn't sound ungrateful.

Joe nodded and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I thought that might be the case. So I had an idea for when you're done here. Perhaps you could do some part-time counselling here."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, looking confused.

"Well...we get a lot of young men and women coming in here asking for HIV tests, and whenever they turn out to be positive, we don't really have much of a support system in place for them here. Maybe we could set something up so that when you're done donating, you can hold a talk with whoever's interested. Give some advice, you know?"

Jack slowly nodded, liking the idea. "That sounds good. I think I could do that. So you'd tell them about the talks once they're diagnosed?"

"Yeah. We can arrange a time with you, probably in the afternoons, and then tell anybody who's interested." He smiled a little, hoping that it would give Jack some confidence.

"I think that'd be fine. Thanks, doc." Joe nodded and went on his way, leaving Jack to think. It sure would be a way of filling his afternoons, and he would still only have to go down every other day as he was now. As for the days when he wasn't required to go in, he could start going back to the gym. The time had gotten away from him lately, and he knew that he needed to start building his muscle back up.

He smiled to himself, knowing that Ennis and his parents would be proud of him for doing so well at this new job. He would be helping to find a cure for HIV, and also giving advice to those who had recently been infected. Nobody had been there to counsel him like that when he'd been diagnosed. His doctor back in New York had done his best, but Jack had felt very alone during that time.

At last, it was time for him to go and meet Ennis for lunch. On his way out, he ran into Joe again, who promised to keep in touch about the counselling sessions. Even though it was raining outside and quite cold, Jack felt happy. It might as well have been bright and sunny.

When he reached the coffee place, he sat at the counter to wait for his lover. He filled Lureen in on what had been going on, and she was very happy for him and what he was accomplishing these days. And it was only a matter of time before Ennis would be walking through the door, to make his morning complete.

* * *

Jack moved to their usual booth a little later and drank his coffee, rifling through a magazine he'd picked up on the way here. Ennis was due to walk through the door at any minute and he couldn't wait to see him. He still felt like a teenager in love whenever he thought of Ennis, despite approaching thirty.

Sure enough, he looked up in time to see the love of his life enter the coffeehouse, looking around for him. Their eyes met and both grinned, happy to see one another. It felt like days since they had last seen each other, even though it had only been a few hours.

"Hey, bud," Ennis said to him, leaning down and kissing him warmly. Jack kissed back eagerly, one hand finding its way to Ennis's. When they broke apart, Jack saw Lureen hovering nearby with the coffeepots.

"Get a room, guys," she said with a smirk on her face as Ennis sat down. They both blushed and she poured Ennis some coffee. She then winked at them and walked off to attend to other customers.

When they were left alone, Ennis reached out and took Jack's hand again. "So...how'd the first day go?" he asked, face alight with interest for Jack had fared so far.

Jack nodded and smiled. "Pretty well. I've got a Band-Aid on my arm from the blood and it's a little bruised, but I'll be okay. And, um...the other part went well." He leaned in close. "Thought of you while I was jerking off," he murmured, and Ennis's cheeks reddened.

"You were?"

"Uh huh. They left me some magazines, and the guys in there weren't half bad, but...I preferred thinking of you. Thought about your body, and what we did last night..."

"Was pretty good," Ennis agreed, eyes going hazy with lust as he remembered. Every time felt like the best ever as far as he was concerned. And he knew that it was their love for each other that made the sex so good.

"And I was thinking..." Jack started, trailing a finger along Ennis's jaw. "About tonight...would it be okay if...I was on top?"

Ennis nodded, wondering why Jack was asking like this. Usually, they didn't really discuss the finer points until they were in the moment, and decided between them what they were in the mood for. Not planning the sex beforehand made it as great as it was, because they could truly give in to their desire for each other.

"Sure, but...why are you asking? We don't usually..."

"I know. And don't get me wrong, I like it when we wait until we're actually about to do it before we decide who does what. It's just...I'd really like to do it that way tonight."

"Okay, bud. Whatever you want. So what are you doing this afternoon? Are you done now?"

Jack remembered the offer he'd been made this morning, and he grinned. "Sure, for today. But guess what? I might just have something to fill up my afternoons with." At Ennis's inquiring look, Jack relayed what the doctor had said to him.

"So basically, I'd be giving advice to people that have just been diagnosed. I can talk to them, answer questions...and I could do it on the afternoons when I've been down there already, so I still have Tuesdays, Thursdays and the weekend to myself. I'm thinking I'll go back to the gym, start working out again."

The image of Jack in exercise gear and working out did funny things to Ennis's insides, and he shifted to ease the pressure down below. "Good idea." He cleared his throat. "You know...I'm really proud of you, bud. Helping to find a cure, and now talking and giving advice to others...it's a pretty big thing."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. And this is so much better for me than staying at the store, even if they'd never found out that I'm positive. It was a dead-end job that was never gonna make me happy, and I'm glad I left." He played with Ennis's fingers for a few seconds, and then started to speak again. "You know...I can't believe how much my life's changed since June. Coming here, settling into the city. Then meeting you in August...us getting together, trying to patch things up with my dad...getting a job that actually means something...and now we're planning to move in together."

Ennis kissed his hand. "Darlin'...I know it's been a lot, but...I've enjoyed every minute of being with you. Never thought I'd get to be this happy. I love you so much..."

"I love you too..." They leaned across, overcome by emotion, and kissed once more over the table, hands still holding tight. Jack's tongue gently pushed its way into Ennis's mouth, where it was more than welcome. The pair of them kissed slowly and lazily, not needing to rush at all; time was on their side. Lureen glanced at them now and then as she worked, feeling for the first time in five years that Jack would truly be okay now.

Ennis and Jack eventually broke apart and had lunch together, discussing what Jack would do with his day now that he was left to his own devices. Alma's birthday was coming up and he was talking about buying her a present, which would keep him occupied for the rest of the day.

He walked Ennis to the entrance of the park so he could return to work, holding hands between them. When they reached the open entrance, Jack turned to him and smiled.

"Guess I'll see you later then," he said, unwilling to let Ennis go but knowing he had to unless he wanted to get him fired. It would only be a few hours, and then they would be together again.

"Yeah, you bet," Ennis replied, smiling down at him. They leaned in and kissed one last time, holding each other close until they were ready to break apart. They then said their goodbyes and Jack watched Ennis leave through the park, already counting down the hours.

* * *

_January 14th, 2010_

Ennis and Jack were eating lunch at Jack's place, talking about their week so far and their plans for the weekend. Jack had given his first talk the day before to a group of people who had just been diagnosed. He'd been a little nervous, talking about his own experiences, but they had listened and appeared to take an interest in what he was saying. Jack had soon gotten into it, giving advice and tips on how to deal with being positive. He had also pointed out that he was in a relationship with a wonderful man, so having HIV didn't mean that they couldn't be happy.

He was starting to enjoy this new job, and was getting back to the gym during his days off. Things were getting better for him and Ennis all the time, and he was happy.

"So," he started as they ate their soup. It was a chilly day and the warm food was very welcome. "How's work going?"

"Pretty good," Ennis answered, nodding. "My boss likes the work I've been doing, and you know Sarah, the receptionist? She reckons I could be up for a promotion soon."

Jack smiled. "That's great, Ennis. I'm sure you'll do great...I know you love animals. And I...I kind of owe my job to you, bud."

"Why's that?" Ennis asked curiously. Jack shrugged.

"Well...you're the one who told me to find a job I'd love, based on what I'm passionate about. That's why I went for the job at the clinic." He smiled. "I wanna thank you for that, Ennis."

Ennis smiled back. "Well...you're welcome, darlin'." He squeezed Jack's hand and they continued eating. The sound of Ennis's cell phone ringing interrupted the meal, and he answered it. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, Ennis. How are you?"

"Okay. Just eating lunch at Jack's place. What's up?"

"Not much. Your dad's gone over to your uncle's place for a visit. I wanted to stay here. Is everything okay with you two?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Jack got himself a new job. He's donating at the local clinic to try and find a cure for HIV. And he's started giving talks to people that have just been diagnosed, giving them advice, you know?"

"Oh...that sounds interesting." She sounded a little cautious, not really knowing how to talk to Ennis about Jack and his HIV status. She so wanted to know her son and this new life of his, but after what had happened at dinner, she wasn't sure how to respond. It would be a long time before Ennis could trust her and his father enough to bring Jack up there once more. "So...is he enjoying it?"

"Yeah, he is. Look, mom...I know things haven't been easy lately, but...there's one thing you have to understand. I love Jack, and I've promised to support him no matter what. And...I'm sorry, but...I have to put him first. He means a lot to me and..." He sighed. "The thing is...we're planning to move in together."

"You are?" she asked, clearly taken aback. "That...that's wonderful, honey. Congratulations. Do you know when?"

"Not exactly, but we reckon in the next few months. We're both looking forward to it."

"Great. Anyway...I'd better get back to my own lunch. Speak soon?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye, mom."

"Bye, Ennis." They clicked off and Ennis sighed, rubbing his free hand over his eyes. Jack squeezed his other one.

"You okay, baby?" he asked softly, touched at how Ennis put him first all the time, but feeling guilty that it was creating tension between Ennis and his parents. He knew that there wasn't anything they could do about it; Ennis had made the choice to be with him in spite of his parents' disapproval. Jack was very grateful to him; he wasn't sure if he could get through everything in his own life without Ennis by his side.

"I don't know," Ennis replied, picking up his spoon and trying to resume eating. He managed a few more mouthfuls before losing his appetite, and he looked at Jack apologetically. "Sorry, bud...can't eat anymore..."

Jack shook his head. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." He finished his own lunch and then put the bowls in the sink to clean up later. Ennis went into the living room and stood in front of the window, looking out across the city. Jack came up behind him and slid his hands around Ennis's stomach, pulling him close. Ennis smiled and leaned back into the embrace, covering Jack's arms with his own.

"Mmm...hey, darlin'."

"Hey, bud," Jack replied, kissing the side of Ennis's neck and resting his head on Ennis's shoulder, looking out. The apartment was quite high up, and the window faced most of the city, giving them a wonderful view. Ennis looked out, felt Jack stood behind him, and then felt something clicking into place. This was where he wanted to be; here with Jack.

"Jack...?" he started, hoping that his request would be accepted.

"Yeah?"

"When we move in together...if it's okay with you...can I move in here? I like your place a lot, and...I could get used to this view. Don't get it back at my place."

Jack released him and turned him around, smiling. "Of course you can move in here with me. I'd love to have you here. Don't get me wrong; I love your place. But if it's what you want...it's fine by me." Jack wasn't too concerned about where they lived, as long as they were together. If Ennis wanted to move in here, he was all for it.

They kissed and embraced again, Ennis burying his face in Jack's shoulder and holding onto him, feeling a little choked up by everything he felt for Jack. He was so happy, and knew that Jack made him happy.

"Gonna make you happy, darlin'...I swear..." he mumbled, running his hands up and down Jack's back.

"Me too," Jack replied, kissing his hair and swaying them both a little, just enjoying the moment between them.

* * *

A few hours later, Jack was finished at the clinic and was heading for the coffeehouse to wait for Ennis to finish work. It was still cold, but he was wrapped up in warm clothes. He had promised Ennis that he would wrap up when it was cold, to protect himself mainly. He knew that Ennis didn't want him to get sick.

The coffeehouse was a little steamed up on the inside, and he saw that Lureen was busy serving customers, so he sat down in their usual booth to wait, rubbing his hands together and blowing into them.

"Hey," Lureen greeted him, pouring him some coffee. He thanked her and eagerly wrapped his hands around the mug. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I'm really getting into those talks at the clinic."

"That's great," she said to him, smiling and clapping him on the shoulder. "Sure am glad you left that store..."

"Yeah, me too," he agreed, drinking his coffee. "And guess what? Me and Ennis have been talking more about the moving in...come to a decision."

She raised her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

He nodded. "Yep. Ennis said he wants to move into my place. Says he likes it there, especially the view from the living room. I mean, I like his place a lot, but...if he wants to move in with me, I'm all for it."

Lureen smiled. "That's great, Jack. I'm really happy for you guys. How's your dad?"

"Hanging in there," he replied, heart sinking a little at the thought of his father. Just then, his phone went off in his pocket, and he saw it was his father. "Speaking of which..." Lureen went off and he answered the phone. "Hey, dad."

"Hey, son. Just wanted to ask if you and Ennis wanted to come to a Rangers game on Saturday evening. Have you booked the flight yet?"

"Uh, yeah. Ennis does it around Tuesdays, says it's cheaper than last-minute. It's at eight in the morning, so we'll get there around one in the afternoon."

"Well, the game starts at six, so I guess you'll be coming straight to the house, right?"

"Yeah, we will. How...how are you doing, dad?"

"I'm coping, I guess. Just taking one day at a time. How's Ennis?"

"He's okay. We're still making plans for moving in together. Ennis says he wants to move in with me, live at my place." He smiled to himself, still on cloud nine from what Ennis had said to him.

"Well...hope it all goes okay, son. You know, Jack...I'm trying. It's not easy for me, but...I do want to try and salvage whatever I can with you before I go."

Jack felt a lump grow in his throat. "I know. I want that, too. So...we'll come to the house when we get there, and go to that game with you."

"Sounds good. See you soon, son."

"Yep, bye." Jack clicked off and put his phone down, sighing. Every time he talked to his father, he felt drained afterwards, worn out with the effort. He folded his arms on top of the table and rested his head on them, blocking out the world around him.

He remained like that for a while, until he felt a familiar warm hand shake him gently. "Jack?"

Jack looked up to see Ennis, who was gazing at him in concern. "Oh...hey, bud."

"What's wrong?" Ennis asked, sitting down opposite him and taking his hand. "Are you okay?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just...my dad just called."

"What did he say?" Ennis asked uneasily, not at all sure what might have transpired. Jack saw his fear and shook his head.

"It's not that. He was perfectly nice, asking us to a Rangers game on Saturday."

"So then, what...?"

"Well...he told me that while it's not easy for him, he's trying his best. Said he wants to salvage whatever he can with me before he goes..." Jack rubbed his forehead. "Just drains me, talking to him..."

"I'll bet," Ennis said in a quiet voice, now seeing why Jack was like this. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," Jack replied, smiling a little. "Are we ready to go?"

"Sure. Your place or mine?"

"Well...since we won't be seeing much more of your place, I reckon we can spend some time there," Jack replied, a genuine smile now on his face. Ennis nodded, leaning in to kiss him tenderly. Jack felt warmth in his stomach, unfurling and spreading out throughout his entire body at Ennis's kiss.

They left the coffeehouse, hand in hand as they walked down the street, heading for the park so they could walk through to Ennis's place. They stopped briefly by Jack's place so he could pick up a change of clothes and his meds for the next morning, and then set off. While it was cold, both of them hardly noticed as their gloved hands clasped together between them. They ended up having an impromptu snowball fight while walking through, making the most of the snow while it lasted, and were both shivering and wet by the time they reached their destination. They changed into clean clothes, Jack borrowing some of Ennis's so he could save his own clean set for the morning, and then settled down to a hot dinner of baked potatoes and chilli.

Afterwards, as they were lying in bed on their sides and letting their heartbeats return to normal after some very satisfying sex, they looked at each other. Jack traced Ennis's jawline with his finger, smiling to himself as his body cooled down. Ennis kissed Jack's finger when it reached his lips, and then kissed Jack's soft lips, cupping his cheek. After a few sweet kisses, Jack rolled onto his other side and motioned back to Ennis, who spooned up behind him and pulled the covers over them, kissing the back of Jack's neck before murmuring a goodnight to him.

"Night, baby," Jack whispered in response, pulling Ennis's arm tighter over himself and closing his eyes, feeling that here, in Ennis's arms, was exactly where he was supposed to be.

* * *

_January 15th, 2010_

It started off as an ordinary day. Ennis and Jack were watching TV at Jack's place during their lunch break, Jack leaning against Ennis and playing with his fingers.

He was due to give another talk that afternoon, and was looking forward to it. It made him feel good; to give advice to those who had just been diagnosed, and who were probably terrified of what they should do next.

His phone started ringing and he pulled it out of his pocket, Ennis turning the TV down so he could hear. "Hey, mom."

"Jack..." She sounded worried and a little shaken up. His brow furrowed.

"Mom, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up. Ennis was watching him closely.

"There's something you have to know. Is Ennis there? He should hear this, too."

"Uh, sure..." He switched on the speakerphone so that Ennis could hear her, and held the phone out between them. "What's going on? Is it dad?" Fear lurched in his stomach.

"No, it's not him. Something happened last night over here, and the police want to talk to you."

"They do? Why?"

"Last night, a young man was attacked in Central Park, just like you were. He was only twenty, and..."

"Oh God..." Jack breathed, unsure of what to say to this. "Did he...?"

"He got infected, Jack. But the thing is, the attacker was caught. There was an eyewitness and the man who did it was arrested. Jack, he...his DNA was taken from the victim. And...it matches the sample taken from you when you were attacked."

Jack felt a pounding in his ears, and Ennis cautiously put a hand on his back, his own head buzzing with thoughts. "Are they sure? Because...that stuff don't last long. Hell, that's why I have to go down to the clinic so often. It's been five years..."

"They're pretty sure. Besides, when they got that, they showed the guy a picture of you, and he confessed to attacking you. They didn't have a number for you, so they called us. I promised I'd get in touch with you. Jack...are you still coming here tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Guess they wanna see me, huh?"

"Yeah, sweetie. I'm sorry about this, Jack...are you gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Um...we'll be there in the afternoon, mom."

"Alright. Try not to worry too much, honey. The guy's in custody, and he can't hurt you anymore."

Jack nodded. "Bye, mom." He didn't want to talk anymore; he wanted to be alone with Ennis and try to digest this new information.

"Bye, honey..."

He clicked off and sat there, staring at the TV with unseeing eyes. Ennis shut it off and turned to him. "Baby...talk to me..."

Jack bit his lip. "I don't know what to say. All this time...and now...he's been caught. He even 'fessed up."

Ennis moved closer and put his arm around Jack, shaking him a little. "I know. But at least...you can press charges, now you know who he is. And they have that other guy, and the witness...I reckon you could get him sent down." Jack considered this, and Ennis pressed on. "Haven't you been wanting justice all this time? I know you, Jack...you've been suffering for so long. You wanna see him get what he deserves?"

Jack looked at him, at the strong man sat next to him. The one who was standing by him no matter what. Ennis was right; he had wanted his attacker to be sent down, but because he hadn't been able to identify him, Jack had always thought that it would never happen. And now the opportunity had arisen; Jack knew that if he didn't do anything, and the guy was let off because of it, he would regret it for the rest of his life. He just had to do whatever he could to get justice.

He nodded. "Yeah, I do. I've wanted this for years. Just never thought it'd happen. And now it is..." He sighed and gave a small smile. "Guess I gotta see it through." Ennis smiled back and kissed him, rubbing his back. They lay down on the sofa together, Jack resting on Ennis's chest and letting Ennis hold him close. He knew that Ennis thought of him as a strong person, but he didn't feel that way unless Ennis was by his side. He felt complete, and knowing that Ennis would support him throughout this entire situation gave him the strength he needed.

The pair of them spent the remainder of their break just lying like this, until it was time to return to work. Jack walked with Ennis and bid him goodbye at the entrance to the park, knowing that in just a few short hours, they would be together again. It was what he lived for, and he had a feeling that Ennis thought of it like this, too.

Somehow, he managed to get through his talk, offering advice and tips to people for looking after themselves, and answered questions about this change in their lives. The phone call weighed heavily on his mind, and he wondered what might happen during their trip.

Ennis was good to him that night, slowly making love to him and helping him to relax into sleep. It had done a very good job; he'd fallen asleep just moments after Ennis had rolled off him. He had then been dimly aware of Ennis pulling him close.

They headed for the airport the next morning, trepidation filling Jack up as he thought of what might happen. He knew that going to the station and pressing charges against his attacker would be the best thing to do, but he wasn't entirely sure of how to go about it. But as they sat together on the plane, hand in hand, Jack knew that he would somehow be able to handle it.

"Gonna be okay," Ennis told him in a soft voice, squeezing his fingers. Jack smiled and nodded, looking out of the window and wondering what might be waiting for him at the other end.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

_January 16th, 2010_

The plane landed at JFK, and Jack's mother was there to greet them, looking happy to see them but pained at what was going on.

"Jack, sweetheart..." She enveloped him in a hug and he held onto her, the way he'd once done as a child. Ennis watched the bittersweet reunion and felt his heart yearn for Jack. He wasn't entirely sure what this trip might bring for them.

Karen greeted him in the same way and they headed for baggage claim. "So how have you boys been, apart from this?" she asked them, and Ennis felt Jack's hand slipping into his.

"Okay," Jack replied, forcing a smile. "Doing good at the clinic, with the talks and everything." Karen nodded.

"Good. Listen...you remember our family lawyer, Peter Thompson?" Jack nodded. "Well, your father and I were talking to him this morning, about all this, and he said that if you want to press charges against your attacker, he'd be happy to represent you, handle everything. What do you say?"

Jack thought it over as they waited for the luggage to appear. He remembered their lawyer; he was good at what he did and had tried to help Jack five years ago. It made more sense than trying to get his own lawyer; neither he nor Ennis had that kind of money.

"I guess we could talk to him, see what he says," he finally conceded. The luggage then appeared and they collected it, heading for the exit.

Once in Karen's car and on their way to the house, Jack spoke again. "So how's dad?"

"Best as can be expected, I reckon," his mother replied, sighing. "He's not as strong as he used to be, and I think he'll have to give up work soon."

"Couldn't he get a disability allowance? I know I would if I didn't have a job," Jack told her, remembering his conversation with Ennis on the topic. It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

"Peter reckons so; we asked him earlier when he was at the house. Listen...he's due back at home any time to talk to you, and you need to go to the station. I know you were planning to go to a game with your dad..."

Jack shook his head. "It's okay. I'll just...I'll pay him back for the tickets," he offered.

"He won't take it, Jack," she told him. "He knows you need your money to look after yourself."

"I can afford a couple hundred bucks," Jack said to her.

"I'd be happy to pay him back for mine," Ennis jumped in, wanting to help Jack as much as he could.

Karen sighed. "Well, you can try. But don't be surprised if he won't let you." They finally reached the house and saw that only John's car was there. "I guess Peter isn't back yet. Come on in, you two."

They entered the house and found John in his armchair, smiling a little as they walked in. "Hey there, son."

"Hey dad," Jack replied, accepting the awkward hug he was given. They all sat down while Karen got them some drinks.

"So how've you been?" John asked, looking at his son. "Sure am sorry about what's going on."

Jack nodded, feeling Ennis take his hand in support. "Sure wasn't easy to hear all that. I still can't believe they caught him. I mean, there was a witness this time. Whoever he is, he sure wasn't as careful this time."

"But it doesn't matter that you couldn't identify him," Karen said as she walked back in with the drinks. "They've got him now." Jack nodded, still feeling the knots in his stomach from nerves.

"I know. Anyway...I've done a lot of thinking, and we've been talking...I've decided that I'm gonna do this. I'll talk to Peter, and to the police...do whatever it takes to get him behind bars."

His parents nodded their approval of his decision. "Good. We know it won't be easy..." Karen started and then trailed off, uncertain of what to say next.

"That's why he's got me," Ennis broke in, squeezing Jack's hand. "I'm gonna be by his side through all of this."

"You mean that?" Jack asked, eyes shining. Ennis nodded, meaning every word he said of his promise.

"Yep. Talking to Peter, talking to the police if they'll let me. The trial, whatever happens..." He smiled. "I'll be here, Jack."

Jack grinned and looked down, feeling a little choked up by this declaration. Sensing they needed a moment alone, Karen cleared her throat.

"Why don't you two take your luggage upstairs?" she suggested. "Get settled in." They nodded and grabbed their luggage, heading up and knowing that she'd sensed their need for some privacy.

When they were alone in the guest room, Ennis opened up his arms and Jack moved into them, exhaling and relaxing against him. Ennis rubbed his back and swayed him a little.

"I know it won't be easy, darlin'...but I meant what I said down there. I'm gonna be here for you, through all of it. Won't ever let you deal with it on your own."

Jack smiled and burrowed his head in the crook of Ennis's shoulder, in the hollow space that seemed to have been created just for him. "Thanks, bud. I'm sure I can do it...I'm just gonna need help."

He didn't say the exact words he was thinking, for he figured they would cause him to break down there and then, but Ennis heard them anyway. Dealing with this whole situation would be very draining for Jack, and he would no doubt be forced to remember what had happened. As a result, he would need Ennis there to hold him and calm him down afterwards; to hold him through the night and chase the nightmares away. Ennis knew that it was what Jack would need from him during these next few days, and he silently vowed that he would do his best to help in whatever way he could.

* * *

Peter Thompson, the family lawyer, came to the house about half an hour later, wanting to speak to Jack. The four of them agreed that they would all be present during this talk, but that Jack would speak to the police with just Ennis by his side.

When Peter arrived, he greeted Jack and was introduced to Ennis, and they all took a seat in the living room, Jack feeling apprehensive.

"So," he started, looking over at Jack with his notes in hand. "I went to the station and got the details we need for you to be able to press charges. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Jack nodded and took Ennis's hand, lacing their fingers together. "Yeah, I am."

"Well...it seems that the name of the man who attacked you and the most recent victim was Daniel Waters. He's just a few years older than you, just turned thirty." He rifled through his notes. "Lifelong resident of Manhattan, New York...went to the university. He'd not long since graduated when he attacked you. Parents both died when he was six. He was living with his aunt until college, and then lived on his own. Certainly has reasons for what he's done, but I realise it's no excuse for hurting two innocent people."

"How did he get HIV?" Jack asked, wanting to know everything.

"Fooled around without protection, in college. He'd been positive for a year when he attacked you," Peter replied, shaking his head. "Man should be in some kind of institution, really...but since he's broken the law, he should be punished accordingly."

Jack nodded. "Okay. So what should I do?"

"Well, you need to go over to the station, first off. You have to make a statement against him so that they can start to arrange a trial. They won't be able to do anything without statements from both of his victims." Peter hesitated. "You know, Jack...as one of the victims that are pressing charges...you have the right to go and see him, at the station. But only if you want to."

Jack looked at Ennis, wondering what to do. He'd never seen his attacker's face and had wondered for a long time what he looked like. A part of him was saying that he should stay away; what if this man mocked him, or made him feel like shit? He wasn't sure he would be able to handle it, even with Ennis by his side. It would rip open those old wounds and make him feel terrible.

But another part of him was saying that he should go, and take Ennis with him. He'd been afraid of this faceless, nameless stranger for so long, and justice was imminent. This man had already given him a disease that he would never recover from; to shy away now would be like saying he was letting this man win. He couldn't lose what he had left of his pride.

He slowly nodded, thinking it over. "I think...it might be a good idea." Ennis turned to look at him.

"You sure, bud?" he asked gently, squeezing his hand. He somehow knew the inner battle Jack was having in his head, and wondered if it was a smart idea to go and see the man who had done such an awful thing to Jack.

"Yeah, I..." Jack cleared his throat. "The thing is...I've never seen this guy before. And...whenever I have a nightmare, it's always exactly how it happened. I've had this image in my head of some...faceless figure. And...I just..." He sighed. "I need to look him in the eye, and know that he's the one who did this. I want to put a face and a name to it all. He's the reason I'm positive, and...I just need to see who he is." Jack felt Ennis running a thumb over his knuckles as he spoke, and appreciated the support.

Peter nodded, understanding Jack's need to talk to the man who had stolen a precious part of himself; not only his virginity, but the notion that he would have a long, happy and healthy life. Everybody thought that when they were young, but Jack had had the possibility taken away from him on that cold morning in the park. Jack may very well live a long and happy life, but he would never be truly healthy, not after what happened.

"I see. In that case, you ought to get over there as soon as you can. I understand you're only here for the weekend?"

"Yeah. We both have work to get back to. So...could we maybe go over there today?"

"Sure. All you have to do is give your name at the front desk and they'll show you where to go. Do you wish to see him alone? There will be an officer present and he'll be handcuffed to the table."

Jack shook his head. "No, I want Ennis there with me. He promised to stand by me; the least I can do is let him." He smiled at his lover, who gave his hand another squeeze.

Peter nodded. "Okay. If you want, I can drive you both over there." Jack looked at his parents, who nodded at him.

"Go ahead, honey," Karen told him, standing up. "It's what you need." Jack stood up too and hugged her.

"Thanks, mom." Karen and John bid goodbye to the three of them and told him good luck, and soon enough he and Ennis were in the back of Peter's car, headed for the city.

During the drive over, Jack leaned into Ennis and sighed a little, trying to calm his raging nerves. Ennis saw that he was conflicted about the meeting, and put an arm around him, trying to comfort him.

"It'll be okay, darlin'," he murmured, squeezing Jack's fingers. Jack nodded and tried to smile at him, hoping that he was right. No matter what this guy might say to him during the meeting, Jack knew that he and Ennis could handle it together.

* * *

They got to the station and Ennis and Jack were shown to a side room, where Jack gave a statement to them about what had happened to him. He then provided his test results from when he was diagnosed and they were asked to wait.

While they waited, Ennis held Jack's hand and tried to reassure him. "It'll be okay, Jack. I'm right here."

Jack nodded. He did feel relatively safe with Ennis by his side, but a part of him was still very worried that this was a bad idea. But it was too late to back out now.

"I know. It's just...what if he says something? Treats the whole thing as a big joke or brags about how he just...did that to me? And to the other guy?" He looked scared, and all Ennis wanted to do was get him out of there and hold him close, let him know that everything was alright. But he knew that Jack needed to do this, or he might never be able to move on from what had happened to him.

"Doesn't matter," Ennis told him, rubbing Jack's arm with his free hand. "If he says anything...we'll ask to leave. And it's okay...I'm gonna be here through all of it."

Jack was about to reply to this, when the door opened and an officer came in, leading a man around thirty, just as Peter had said. He had dusty blonde hair (thankfully unlike Ennis's) and small, cold grey eyes. Jack practically shrank into his seat at the sight, knowing what this man had done to him and what he'd given him. Ennis could tell that Jack was afraid, and squeezed his hand to let him know he was there.

The officer sat the man down and handcuffed one hand to the bar on the table. He had no way of reaching Jack, at least not physically. The officer then stood by the door, keeping an eye on everything like a hawk.

The man, Daniel Waters, looked at them both. His expression was unreadable. "So...they tell me you're Jack Twist. Been a long time."

Jack took a steadying breath. "I guess. But I've had a long time to come to terms with what you did to me. I wanted to see you so I knew for sure what that piece of scum looked like. Now I know."

Daniel's lip curled in what could only be a smirk. "So tell me...you still taking it up the ass? Did you like what I did?"

Ennis felt himself growing angry, but he held back, knowing that Jack needed to confront this man.

"You bastard," Jack hissed. "You force yourself on me like that, give me a life sentence, and then now you ask me if I liked it? How can you look me in the eye and ask that?"

"So who's this?" Daniel asked, ignoring Jack's question and turning to Ennis. "This your boyfriend?"

"Actually, it is," Jack replied, holding Ennis's hand a little tighter. "And he knows everything. About what you did..."

Daniel shrugged. "Hell, I'm not complaining. I got off in a tight little ass, and then another just recently. So tell me..." he added, eyes flashing maliciously. "You know what it's like to fuck a virgin?"

Jack blanched; Ennis had been a virgin, at least in that respect, when he had first made love to him. He _did_ know what it was like.

"None of your business," he said firmly, determined not to let this man get to him. He was here to try and let go of the past, and that would never happen if he let this man take what was left of his pride. "The difference between what you did to me and my sex life with Ennis...is that we love each other." Ennis was nodding his agreement. "What we've got...you'll never understand it. What you did was about power and control, and it's nothing like that with us."

"How sweet," Daniel sneered, and Ennis was getting very close to slugging this man. "So then...what happens when you infect him? Will he still love you then?"

He'd crossed a line, and Ennis could see it in Jack's eyes; the fear that if he did infect Ennis, it would drive Ennis away from him. As he looked at Jack's fearful expression, Ennis knew there and then that even if it did happen, he would always love Jack.

He nodded to the officer, who led Daniel out of the room, and then turned to Jack. "Are you okay?" he asked, unsure of how Jack would have taken Daniel's last remark. Jack nodded, lips tightly pressed together, and they left the room hand in hand.

Ennis, who sensed that Jack needed some comforting right now, declined Peter's offer to drive them back to the house, stating that they would get a cab later on. He then pulled Jack into an alleyway out of sight and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him.

Jack melted into the embrace, his walls of defence crumbling as Ennis held him, and he burrowed closer. "Ennis...tell me something..."

"Sure, bud," Ennis replied, willing to do anything to calm Jack down.

"If I do infect you...will you still love me?" He sounded so lost and in need of reassurance that Ennis felt the pain himself. He kissed the side of Jack's head and nodded.

"I will, Jack. I swear I will...that guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He'll never understand what we've got. People like him never do." He pulled back and turned Jack to face him, wiping the tears with his thumb. "It's gonna be okay, darlin'."

Jack nodded and tried to smile, glad to be out of the station and in Ennis's arms. "I love you," he choked out, breath shaky. "Sure am glad I'm not going through this alone."

Ennis leaned in and kissed him, slow and soft. They then held each other close again, until they were finally ready to move, back into the bright sunlight where things were always a little clearer.

* * *

When Ennis and Jack retired to the guest bedroom that night, they were both weary. The talk with Daniel had drained Jack and he was in need of a lot of comfort right now from his other half. Ennis, for his part, wanted to do whatever he could to make Jack feel better.

Upon their return to the house, Jack had gone for a lie down while Ennis relayed to Karen and John what had happened. It hadn't been easy, but he'd done it for Jack. The pair of them had managed to wolf down some dinner and now they were getting undressed on either side of the bed. They were upstairs a little earlier than normal, but Ennis knew that Jack needed to be alone with him, away from everything else.

Ennis watched Jack as they crawled into bed, heart yearning for him. He had never liked seeing Jack upset, and just wanted to make him feel loved and appreciated.

When they were under the warm covers, Ennis rolled onto his side, facing Jack. His lover was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Ennis reached out and placed a hand on his chest, gently stroking it over his skin. He could feel Jack's strong muscles and smiled a little at how good they felt.

"Darlin'?" he asked softly, and Jack turned to look at him. He continued to stroke Jack's chest. "You wanna talk about it?"

Jack shook his head. "Not now. Sorry, Ennis...just..." He bit his lip and Ennis stroked his cheek. It was okay if Jack couldn't talk right now; there would be plenty of time for that.

"It's okay. Whenever you're ready. You just wanna...?" He trailed off, the question hanging between them. Jack smiled a little.

"Sure..." They leaned in, Jack turning onto his side, and began to kiss softly, Ennis tangling his hand in Jack's dark hair. Jack was kissing him back, desperate for the comfort that Ennis was offering. He was soon tugging at Ennis's hip; an indication for him to roll on top of him, that he was ready. Ennis took the hint and did so, straddling Jack and covering him with his warmth.

They broke apart, faced just inches from each other. Jack was breathing a little heavily, becoming aroused despite his feelings at the moment. Ennis nuzzled their noses together.

"You sure you're ready?" he murmured, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah...wanna feel you inside me..." He rose up a little and kissed Ennis again, ready to make love with him. Ennis nodded and reared up onto his knees, reaching for the lube and a condom. He pushed away the reminder of Daniel's sneering face and instead concentrated on Jack, who needed him right now.

When he was ready and Jack was sufficiently covered up, he shifted so that Jack could open up his legs and allow him to settle between them. Ennis then lifted Jack's legs and wrapped them around his waist, kissing Jack firmly and yearning to be inside him.

He slowly pushed into his lover, watching his face for signs of how he was feeling. It was odd; whenever he was on top, there seemed to be a pattern to Jack's facial expressions. Initial discomfort from penetration, but then the look of bliss as he relaxed and got used to it. Ennis liked how he could make Jack feel good like this; he lived for it.

They slowly moved together, Ennis rocking into Jack and kissing him, determined to push away thoughts of what had transpired.

"Love you," he panted, nuzzling into Jack's neck as he thrust into him. "Don't worry about anything, baby...it's gonna be okay..."

Jack nodded, unable to speak. He had fixed his lips on the hollow spot of Ennis's shoulder, raising his hips in time to Ennis's thrusts and shaking as his orgasm started to rip through him. He trembled and let loose, groaning in Ennis's ear as he crossed the finish line. Ennis thrust a few more times and followed suit, shaking and then collapsing onto Jack.

"Oof," Jack groaned at the sudden weight. He could normally take it, but he was feeling a little weaker than usual right now. Ennis immediately rolled off him, onto his side.

"Shit, sorry darlin'...you okay?" he asked, alarmed that he had hurt Jack.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he replied, now able to breathe. He sighed and pulled off the rubber, tying it and placing it on the nightstand. Ennis did the same and shuffled closer, sliding one arm over Jack's stomach and kissing his cheek. "Mmm..."

"Love you, Jack," Ennis said softly, nuzzling into his damp hair.

"I love you too," he replied, smiling at him. "Thanks for coming with me today."

"Said I would," Ennis told him, rubbing his stomach. "I promised I would be there for you. And I was." He shifted and settled his left leg in between Jack's. "Try not to think on it, bud. That guy...he's just an asshole. Not worth worrying over..."

"I know he isn't," Jack agreed, nodding and covering Ennis's arm with his own. "I'm...kind of glad I went today. I've had this image of a faceless stranger in my head for so long whenever I thought about it, so...to finally see who he is...maybe now I can move on from it. I got that from today if nothing else." He then smiled. "And you were right by my side, being a part of it. I can't thank you enough for being there."

"It's okay, darlin'," Ennis told him, kissing him gently. "I'm glad I could help you. Anyway...you wanna get some sleep? We'll go out to the city tomorrow...have some fun together. What do you say?"

"Alright," Jack replied, smiling at the thought. "We can go to a game with my dad another time, right?"

"Yep. Come on, get some sleep." He nudged at Jack and rolled him onto his side, spooning up behind him. Jack settled down and closed his eyes, smiling when Ennis pulled him close and nuzzled the back of his neck. "Night, darlin'."

"Night, Ennis."

* * *

Ennis and Jack spent most of the next day together as agreed, just the two of them. They strolled around the city and in the park, talking about everything but what had happened the day before.

As they walked by the lake, Ennis looked at Jack sadly. He'd had a nightmare around one in the morning, undoubtedly a memory. He had confessed to Ennis that in this latest variation, his attacker now had a face, and it made the whole memory even worse. It had taken a while to calm Jack down, but he seemed okay this morning. At any rate, he was at least smiling and looked to be relaxed.

They sat down on a bench and Ennis instinctively put his arm around Jack protectively, and Jack settled next to him, head against his shoulder.

"You doing okay, bud?" Ennis asked him, rubbing his arm. Jack nodded.

"Yeah...better than yesterday, anyway. And especially last night. Don't know what that was. I mean...seeing his face isn't how it happened. I've never seen his face until yesterday. Not really sure why he was in that nightmare."

"Because you know what he looks like now," Ennis replied, holding him close. "So...I reckon it makes sense that he's kind of...forced himself in." Jack recoiled at his word choice, and Ennis could have kicked himself for his tactlessness. "Sorry, darlin'..."

"It's okay," Jack said, shaking his head. "Really...it's not like it isn't true. That's what he did..."

"Doesn't mean I should've said it like that," Ennis told him, still feeling ashamed of himself. "Really am sorry..." Jack pushed away a little to look into his eyes.

"It's alright," he said earnestly, touching Ennis's cheek. "Don't worry about it, okay?" Ennis nodded and leaned in; Jack met his kiss eagerly and found one of his hands, lacing their fingers together as they kissed.

_This is what it's all about, _he thought to himself. _Me and him. We're in love, and have so much to look forward to together. Daniel Waters can't take this away from us, no matter what he says or does. He could get off, and be back on the streets, and attack me again and it wouldn't matter. I'd still have Ennis, holding me and kissing me like he is now. Nothing can tear us apart._

The kiss ended and they smiled their soft, secret smiles at each other. Ennis nuzzled their noses together, making Jack grin, and then they relaxed once more, Jack leaning against his lover.

After a while, they got up and left the park, seeking lunch and choosing a small café they'd been to before. Halfway through the meal, Jack's phone rang. "It's Peter," he told Ennis, and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jack. Just wanted to know how you're doing."

"I'm fine, thanks. Just having lunch with Ennis in the city."

"Good. Listen...I've got some great news for you. Just spoke to the detective in charge of your case. He says that Daniel Waters is going to go to trial next Saturday, and he would like both victims there to repeat their statements to a jury, as well as the witness from the recent attack."

"Oh," Jack replied, surprised that it had been sorted out so quickly. "Well, that's great. Do I need to bring anything?"

"Yes. We need a copy of your record from when you were tested for HIV, the proof that you were infected. Um...you should hand it in before next week, because it's going to be used as evidence against him. We can't get that from the other victim because it's too soon to tell if he was infected. I mean, it would only be a week by the time this goes to trial. You're really the only one with evidence, Jack."

"Well...I did bring my test results with me. Maybe I could make a copy at the library or something," Jack suggested, picking at his food with the fork.

"That would be fine; just make sure you can get it to me before Saturday. You remember where my office is, right?"

"Yeah, I do. And...I'll be there later today."

"Alright. Bye, Jack."

"Yep, bye." He clicked off and sighed. "Well...things are happening quickly."

"What did he say?" Ennis asked, searching Jack's face.

"Daniel's going to trial next Saturday, and they want both victims there. I need to bring Peter a record of my HIV test results; they'll be used as evidence in my favour. I should get those to him today, before we leave."

"Alright. Are they at the house?"

"Yeah, in my carry-on. We'll have to go and get them and then come back, get them copied and get them to Peter."

"Come on then, let's eat up and get this sorted," Ennis told him, nodding. Jack smiled at how Ennis was taking charge of the situation; it helped him to keep a cool head and not panic about anything.

When they finished their lunch, they went back to the house and got the test results, and then did as Peter had asked, copying them and handing them in to him. Jack felt a little relieved that he didn't have to do too much right now, but he was dreading having to tell a room full of strangers what had happened to him.

Soon enough, it was time for them to pack their things and catch their flight. Jack was saddened that he and his father hadn't spent much time together, but John told him firmly that these other issues came first, and Jack reluctantly agreed.

On the flight back, they mirrored their positions from the bench, Ennis with an arm around Jack, who leaned against him. Jack soon dropped off, but Ennis stayed awake a little longer, thinking about what had happened this weekend and what might happen during the next one. He knew one thing for sure; no matter what might happen at this trial, he would stand by Jack and help him through it. That was what he was there for, and that was what he would do.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

_January 18th, 2010_

Ennis and Jack woke up together on Monday morning, happy to be back home where they were far away from the trouble back in New York. They had arranged to meet up with the girls during their lunch break and were glad to return to work. Jack enjoyed being back at work and knew that it had been a good idea to apply for the job. He liked contributing to the research and talking to others about his experience.

When it was finally time for them to meet Lureen and Alma, they met up at the park and walked down the street, hand in hand. Jack was a lot happier than he'd been over the weekend, and he smiled at Ennis.

"Sure am glad to be back home," he said to him, squeezing his hand. Ennis smiled back.

"I know...me too. And at least we've got work to take our minds off things. If we just concentrate on that, it'll keep us calm for next Saturday. Are you sure you're gonna be okay with telling the jury what happened?"

Jack shrugged. "I guess. But you know what I was thinking? Maybe I could put it in my talk this afternoon, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well...they've been coming to hear me talk for a little while now. And I've told them about my experiences. Maybe it'll help them to know that guys like Daniel Waters don't get away with things like that. Especially if one of them got infected the way I did."

Ennis considered this. "Yeah, maybe. If you really want to do it, darlin'...you know I'll support you. And if it'll help with talking about it at the trial..."

"Yep. I know I'll be able to do it, Ennis...I just...I'm gonna need some help with it." He stopped and they turned to each other. "I can do the talking...I'll just need you there when we're alone afterwards, okay?"

"I'll be there," Ennis promised without hesitation. "Through everything...I'll be there when you need me." He smiled and kissed Jack before tugging at his hand and leading him to the coffeehouse.

Sure enough, when they got there they were greeted by their friends. "Hey, you guys!" Lureen said with a grin on her face, hugging them both in turn. Alma did the same and they all sat down, Lureen now on her break.

"So how did it go?" Alma asked, looking sympathetically at Jack. "What happened over there?"

"Well, our family lawyer came over, and told us the name of my attacker; Daniel Waters. He attacked another young guy recently and now he's awaiting trial. I made a statement at the station, and..." He hesitated. "I went to see him, with Ennis."

"You did?" Lureen asked in surprise. "That was brave...was it bad?"

Jack swallowed. "Yeah. He didn't have any remorse for what he did...just sneered at me. Not much point in talking to him, to be honest..."

"Oh, Jack...at least you went," Lureen replied encouragingly. "That took guts..."

"It did," Ennis replied, smiling at Jack. "He tried his best. But that guy...I wanted to slug him one for the way he spoke to Jack."

"I bet," Lureen said with a smile. "So what...what happens on Saturday?"

"There'll be a trial...and I have to tell the jury what happened to me. That won't be easy, but...if it gets him locked up where he belongs..."

"It'll be worth it." The girls nodded and Lureen went to grab the coffeepot, pouring for Ennis and Jack and bringing over a pair of paninis for the four of them.

"On the house," she said with a wink. "Just don't tell." They thanked her and began to eat, Jack particularly ravenous after everything he'd been through. He and Ennis split one, and the girls split the other.

"So did we miss anything while we were gone?" Ennis asked, looking at them both.

"Not really. There's always scandals going on with celebrities and such, but...that stuff doesn't seem to matter these days...not since you got diagnosed," Lureen told him. "All that stuff we were into as kids, Jack...just seems so childish now. Guess we grew up quickly."

"Yeah," he lamented, running a finger over the rim of his mug. "It's okay, though. I got to meet Ennis." He smiled at the girls. "Hey...you guys found anybody yet? I mean...Alma, I..." He bit his lip, remembering that she was Ennis's ex. She shook her head.

"It's fine, really. But no, I...I haven't met anybody yet. Saw Lureen flirting with some guy, though." She smiled at Lureen, who blushed. Jack, firmly back in his playful mode, pounced on this.

"Really?" he asked, sounding intrigued. "Who?"

"Guy in our building," she replied. "Lives on the floor above us. His name's Sam Brightman. Do you know him? Brunette, green eyes...really cute." She grinned. "I like him a lot."

"Good one, Lu," Jack said, nodding his approval. "Don't really know him, though..."

"Well...maybe I could introduce you guys to him sometime. Anyway...my break's gonna end soon...Alma, you can finish that if you want," she said to her friend, who nodded.

When Alma had finished, she bid goodbye to them and left Ennis and Jack alone. They smiled at each other and kissed softly, hands finding each other and clasping on the table. When they broke apart, Ennis nuzzled Jack's nose and kissed his cheek.

"You gonna be okay, baby?" he asked, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah, I will. It won't be easy, especially having to talk to the jury about it, but...I know you'll be there to help me. That's all that matters." He rested against Ennis's shoulder, smiling when he felt Ennis kiss the top of his head.

Lureen watched them, thinking about what was going on with Jack. She felt very sorry for him, having to go through everything back in New York. All she could do was hope that the jury saw sense and voted to send Daniel Waters behind bars where he belonged. Jack had been given a life sentence; it was only fair that his attacker get the same, or as close to it as possible.

* * *

When they got back to work, Jack decided that he was going to tell his audience that afternoon about the trial and what had happened back in New York. By now, the people who came to hear him talk were regulars, and he was getting to know them. They had all shared stories of their experiences and how they'd become infected. Jack had been quick to establish early on that nobody would be judged for however they caught HIV; they were all here to support each other.

He was setting up in the room when the doctor came in. "Hey, Jack."

"Oh, hey doc. What's up?"

"Just wanted to make sure you're alright, after what happened this weekend." Jack had told him on Friday that he and Ennis were going to New York and that something had happened with his attacker.

"I'm fine, thanks. They caught my attacker, and he's going to trial on Saturday. Both me and his most recent victim are gonna be testifying." He thought about that part, hoping that he would be able to talk about it. But at least Ennis would be there; one friendly face in a crowd of strangers.

"Right. Well, I hope it goes well. You ready for this afternoon?"

"Yep. I was thinking...maybe I could talk to them about all this. Maybe at least one of them got infected the same way I did, and...I think it'd help them to know that the people who do that eventually get what they deserve."

"Good idea. Let me know how it goes, okay?" Jack nodded and Joe left the room.

When his audience were sat down and ready, Jack cleared his throat.

"Well, uh...good to see you guys again. I was gonna talk to you more about the meds you'll need to take, but...something came up over the weekend." He took a breath. "The thing is...you'll remember me telling you how I was infected, right? Back in New York when I was in college. Well, my mom called on Friday night, and it turns out that my attacker got another guy, but this time there was a witness, and he was arrested. They took a DNA sample from him and the victim, and it matched the sample taken from me when I was attacked. So that guy was the one who gave me HIV."

He paused for a moment, and then pressed on. "I went over there the next day, with my boyfriend, and we went to talk to the guy. He didn't feel any remorse as far as I could see, and he did kind of seem proud of himself. But the thing is...he's going to trial on Saturday, and I'll be testifying. I just wanted to tell you guys because...I thought that maybe one of you could be going through the same thing, and I just wanted you to know that people like him eventually get what they deserve."

Jack saw a few people nodding in agreement, and he felt proud of himself for how far he'd come in such a short space of time. "Well...any questions?" A young woman named Katie raised her hand and he nodded at her.

"I just wanted to ask...does it ever get any easier, to talk about it? I was infected by my ex-boyfriend, who was into drugs, and...even my parents don't know yet. I haven't been able to tell them."

"Well...it does eventually. But I think that before you can talk about it to someone you know, you have to try and kind of make your own peace with it. You just have to accept that it happened, and try not to think about what you could have done differently or whatever. I spent so long wishing that I'd never taken that shortcut through the park that morning, or that I'd just gotten up earlier so I wasn't pressed for time. But this is how things happened, so..." He thought for a moment, Ennis flitting into his mind. "My boyfriend's got this kind of motto that I've heard him use more than once, and I think it applies here. It's 'if you can't fix it, you've gotta stand it'. I reckon it works for this. I can't change what happened to me, so I've had to learn to live with it. And you guys can, too. I think that if you can do that, you'll be able to tell other people."

Katie smiled and nodded, clearly thinking this over. The rest of the talk was devoted to tips on how to tell other people about the positive diagnosis, and how to cope with possible disownment. Jack shared how his father had initially reacted, but pointed out how things were better in the light of his own illness. It was important for them to remember that there were simply things out there that they couldn't change, no matter how much they might want to.

After the talk was over, Jack was packing up his bag when Katie came up to him. "Can I ask you something, Jack?"

"Sure."

"Well...you've mentioned having a boyfriend. Is it hard to have a relationship with a negative person? Like...sex, for example. Do you guys get worried that you'll infect him? Even with protection?"

Jack sighed. "Frequently. A part of me worries every time we do it. But you know what? He told me himself that even if I do infect him, he'll still love me and want to be with me. And if you ever find yourself a guy like that, Katie...you hold onto him. I'm really lucky to have my man, and I know that...with him on my side, I can face anything, including my attacker and the trial."

She smiled, seeing how much he meant those words. "Thanks, Jack." He nodded at her and she left, leaving him to his own thoughts about Ennis. He did feel incredibly lucky to have someone like him on his side. He loved Ennis with all his heart, and he was determined to show him tonight, when they were alone.

* * *

That night, they spent the evening at Ennis's place. Ennis made Jack a meal of chicken, potatoes and vegetables; good comfort food that he knew Jack needed. He also poured them some wine and they settled at the table, Ennis lighting the candle in the middle.

"A man could get used to this," Jack said with a smile, looking across at his lover. Ennis nodded.

"Good, because when we move in together...I promise, Jack...it's gonna be great. We'll have this every evening after work."

"I think we'll need it," Jack replied, starting to eat. "I mean, work's good these days, but it sure does take it out of me."

"How did it go today?" Ennis asked, and Jack shrugged.

"Well...it wasn't easy to talk about it...but I'm glad I did it." He smiled and told Ennis about Katie, and how he'd inspired her to keep on going. Ennis told Jack how proud he was of him.

After dinner, they spent some time in front of the TV and then Jack started giving Ennis that familiar look; the one that meant he was after sex from his man. Ennis started giving Jack looks and smirked, taking his hand. He pulled Jack up off the sofa and brought him close, planting his lips on Jack's firmly. Jack moaned into his mouth and immediately started to get hard, already looking forward to this.

"How you want it?" Ennis murmured between hard kisses. "Slow, fast, what?"

"Mmm..." Jack replied, mouth full of Ennis's tongue. "Want you inside me...hard and fast, I reckon..."

"You got it..." They banged their way through the apartment, falling onto the bed and tugging at each other's clothes. Shirts came flying off and Ennis pushed Jack down onto the bed, kissing his way down his lover's chest and making him moan with pleasure.

"Ennis..." he sighed. "That's good..." Ennis reached Jack's buckle and deftly undid it, sliding Jack's jeans down his legs until they were a heap on the floor. He then crawled back up and took off his own jeans, rubbing himself against Jack. He rose up and gazed down at his lover, eyes alight with arousal.

"You ready?" he breathed, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah...come on, fuck, me..." Ennis quickly covered them both with condoms and coated himself with the lube, pushing Jack's legs up and over his shoulders. He was hard as a rock and wanted Jack so badly, and he knew by now that Jack wanted him just as much. It was a powerful aphrodisiac, to know that Jack was sexually attracted to him; he'd never thought of himself as appealing in that way, and even though he knew his ex-girlfriends must have found him attractive, he hadn't really felt it until Jack.

He pushed in, hearing Jack gasp at the feeling. They moved quickly together, heading for the finish line and moaning each other's names. Ennis, overcome with desire for Jack, pushed in deeper and harder, and Jack felt something go wrong inside him.

"Stop," he gasped. Ennis did so immediately and looked down at him. "I...I think I'm bleeding..."

Ennis's eyes widened and he pulled out as gently as he could, thankful that he was wearing a rubber. "Shit...you okay?" he asked, moving off to the side and on his knees. Jack nodded and sat up, wincing.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've just gotta clean myself up...you should change the sheets, too. And wash them good or maybe throw them out." Ennis nodded and when Jack left the room, he set to changing the sheets, rolling up the bloody ones into a ball and dumping them in the hamper.

When he was done, he went into the bathroom, where Jack was just washing his hands. Ennis's heart felt heavy; he knew that when Jack had been assaulted, he'd bled then. He was terrified that he'd hurt Jack.

"Bud?" he asked unsurely, watching as Jack turned around. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry..."

Jack smiled and nodded, moving close to him. "I'm fine, baby. This happens all the time to guys like us. Just a case of tissue and muscle tearing back there; no big deal. It'll heal after a few days." He saw Ennis looking off to the side, unable to look him in the eye. Jack sighed, knowing what was bothering him. "Ennis, look at me..."

Ennis did so, fear in his eyes. "Jack...the last time you bled...it was..."

"I know, I know," Jack said softly, cupping his cheeks. "Don't think about that, okay?" He kissed Ennis gently, hoping to calm him down. "Shh...it's okay..."

"You mean that?" Ennis asked fearfully. "You gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine..." Jack promised him. "Come here..." He took Ennis by the hand and led him back to the bedroom, sitting him down on the changed bed. "Baby...calm down. It's alright...you don't have to worry about it. I know you were thinking of what happened to me, but...the truth is...you're so much better than that guy. You love me, and care about me. That's all I need to know. This was just...a setback. That's all. It happens all the time to guys, and it's nothing to worry about. What did you do with the sheets?" Ennis pointed to the hamper and Jack nodded. "Okay. Be careful with them, alright? Maybe wash them with hot water."

"Alright," Ennis replied, feeling tired. He'd been so aroused fifteen minutes ago, and now he was scared and a little ashamed of himself. He just wanted to go to sleep right now, and try to forget about the connotations of what had happened. Jack kissed him and crawled up the bed.

"Come on, bud. Let's just get some sleep, okay?" Ennis followed him and they got under the sheets, Jack spooning up around him and pulling him close. "It's alright, Ennis...it's alright," he murmured, rubbing his lover's stomach. "Please don't worry, okay? I love you..."

"Love you too, Jack," Ennis choked out, throat feeling tight as he tried to relax. He soon felt Jack falling asleep behind him, but it was a long time before he too could relax enough to drop off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

A couple of days later, things were more or less back to normal. Ennis had stopped panicking about the other night and soon relaxed around Jack again. But it was the longest they'd gone without having sex, and both were a little frustrated. Jack was healing up, but it might be another few days before he could handle penetration again. He'd offered to jerk Ennis off and even top him, which he could deal with, but Ennis had told him that he wanted to wait until he was back to normal.

Still, in spite of what was going on, they were happy. The trial was in a few days and Peter had called to say that there was a very good chance Daniel Waters would be sent down, thanks to the statements given and the fact that Jack would be testifying.

On Wednesday, Ennis and Jack were sitting on Jack's sofa during their lunch break. They had just finished eating and were now sitting quietly together, talking about the impending move and their forthcoming life together.

"So is there any changes you'll wanna make when you move in?" Jack asked, head resting on the back of the sofa as he looked at Ennis.

"Don't think so," Ennis replied, looking around. "I mean, there's some stuff I wanna bring over, but...no real big changes. I could sell most stuff, like my TV and stereo. Won't need them here."

Jack nodded. "Fair enough. When you move in, all my stuff will be yours, too. We'll be partners, for real." He smirked. "You're more than welcome to share my bed with me."

"I'll keep that in mind, darlin'," Ennis replied, a smile playing around his lips. "What do we do about rent?"

Jack thought for a moment. "Might be easier if you give me your half and then I pay it to the landlord, along with my half. He's a good guy, so it shouldn't be too much trouble. I already told him that you were moving in with me and he said it's fine. When I first came here, Lureen told me that he's cool with gay people, so that was part of the reason why I decided to live here. I figured...that if I ever did meet someone, they might wanna move in with me one day. So I thought I'd plan ahead and find a place where it'd be possible."

Ennis watched him as he spoke, remembering how Jack had described feeling lonely and always thinking that he would never find anyone who would love him in spite of what he had. Most of the time, Ennis was able to push aside the thought about Jack being positive; that he had something which was so dangerous inside him. He loved Jack, regardless of what he had, and he knew how much Jack appreciated this.

"Guess you never really lost hope, then?" he asked softly, taking Jack's hand in his own. Jack shrugged.

"I don't know. I never stopped hoping, I guess. But at the same time, I kind of stopped believing that it would happen; that I would find someone to love me."

"You've got one now," Ennis murmured, leaning over to kiss him. Jack immediately opened his mouth, welcoming the warm kiss that was given. He slowly sank back down to the sofa, bringing Ennis with him. The kisses turned urgent and passionate, and both were soon hard, panting heavily.

"Ennis...I..."

"Are you sure?" Ennis asked, still fearful that Jack wasn't yet healed up enough. What if he did it again? Jack nodded, kissing his neck.

"Yeah...think I can take it..." They kissed again and Ennis got up, quickly heading for the bedroom with Jack in tow.

Once on the bed, they stripped off and got under the covers, Ennis preparing himself in between soul-searing kisses and whispered endearments. He entered Jack very slowly, biting his lip.

"Keep going," Jack instructed, holding onto him around the neck and wrapping his legs around Ennis's waist. "I'll let you know if I want you to stop, okay?" Ennis nodded and pushed in deeper until he was fully inside Jack, right to the hilt.

They gazed at each other for several moments before Ennis started moving, careful not to do it too hard or too deep. He didn't thrust in all the way, just enough to do the job and make it good for Jack.

Jack moaned softly in his ear and moved along with him. "Ennis...God, I love you..."

"Love you too, darlin'...so much..." He kissed Jack on the mouth and found his tongue, sliding his own against it and trailing one hand down Jack's stomach. He took his lover in hand, slipping a little against the rubber on him, and began to jerk him off in time to his thrusts. Jack bucked and gasped, unable to hold back. All it took was a few strokes and he shot, groaning and pushing his head back to the pillow. Ennis followed suit and collapsed onto him, panting.

"Are you okay?" he breathed, hoping that Jack hadn't started bleeding again. He pulled out and looked down at Jack, who was smiling.

"I'm fine. Everything feels normal...just a little sore, that's all. Gonna be okay." Ennis kissed him and rolled off onto his own side, not even stirring when Jack removed both condoms and went to dispose of them. He checked himself in the bathroom, and there was no blood, so he figured that everything was okay back there. What had happened a few days ago didn't bother him so much, but he knew it had freaked Ennis out because of what Daniel had done all those years ago.

Jack promised himself there and then that he wouldn't let Daniel take anything else away from him, especially his relationship with Ennis. So much had already been taken, but he had this left, and when he stopped at the bedroom doorway and looked at his dozing lover, Jack knew that he would never give this up without a fight.

* * *

_January 23rd, 2010_

On Saturday, Ennis and Jack were back in New York, and were currently at the courthouse where Daniel's trial was being held. They were stood outside the chamber, waiting to be called in and talking to Jack's parents and Peter, Jack thanking him for his help through all of it.

"No problem, Jack," Peter said with a smile. "It's what I'm here for." Jack nodded and felt Ennis squeezing his hand. This show of support was very much appreciated right now, and he thanked his lucky stars that he had decided to move to San Francisco last summer.

They were soon shown into the room and took their seats, glancing at the jury; there was nobody there that any of them recognised. Jack had been introduced to Daniel's other victim, Sam Brookes, and told him that he ever needed any advice for dealing with becoming positive, he would be happy to help. Sam thanked him and sat by them, not having anybody here but his own lawyer.

Daniel was led in by an officer and taken to a table on the lowest level, again showing no remorse for what he'd done. When the judge had entered and was seated, Jack clasped Ennis's hand tightly, hoping that justice would be done for what both he and Sam had suffered through.

"Daniel Waters, of Manhattan, New York, you are charged with two counts of sexual assault. One of September 20th, 2004, and the other of January 14th, 2010. Your victims were John C. Twist, Jr and Samuel Brookes, both of Long Island, New York. How do you plead?"

"Guilty, I guess," Daniel replied, not seeming to care at all. "It's what happened." The judge pursed her lips at his attitude but carried on.

"You have caused psychological trauma and the transmission of the HIV virus to these two young men, altering their entire lives. I for one am disappointed in the lack of remorse you seem to have for this, not to mention the pure contempt you seem to be showing. Therefore, I hope the jury sees fit to punish you severely."

Jack was then called to the witness stand. He started off shaky as he described what had happened all those years ago, but his voice became stronger when he looked at Ennis and saw the encouraging look on his face. He described how he still had nightmares of the attack and how it had been very difficult for him to adjust. His HIV test results were then handed in as evidence and he was permitted to sit back down. Ennis put an arm around him.

"Proud of you, bud," he murmured, making Jack smile. The trial continued, with Sam making his own statement and the judge calling a break so she and the jury could examine all the evidence.

Back out in the corridor, Jack leaned against the wall and sighed. "Well...I guess things are going okay. At least the judge is on our side. She noticed how he doesn't seem to care..."

Ennis nodded and stood beside him, hands in his pockets. Jack's parents went over to the vending machines and Peter stood talking to Sam and his lawyer. The minutes ticked by, Jack wondering what might happen when they were called back in. He hoped that the jury saw sense and gave Daniel what he deserved.

When they were called back in, they resumed their seats and the judge cleared her throat. "Having taken all evidence and testimonies into account, have the jury reached a verdict?" A young woman stood up.

"We have, your Honour," she replied. Ennis squeezed Jack's fingers.

"Do you find Daniel Waters guilty or not guilty of the sexual assault of both John C. Twist Jr and Samuel Brookes?"

"Guilty," she said firmly, and Jack sighed in relief. The asshole was going to get what he deserved.

"Very well." The judge turned back to Daniel, who looked unaffected. "Mr Waters, while it has been proven that you passed on the HIV virus to Mr Twist, we are as of yet uncertain of this for Mr Brookes. However, the fact remains that you assaulted these two young men, which cannot be tolerated. You have given at least one of them a life sentence, and I would prefer to give you the same, but this is not possible for this charge. Instead, I am sentencing you to a minimum of twelve months' incarceration, effective immediately and without parole. That counts as six months per victim and charge. I only hope that it gives some peace of mind to these young men." She banged the gavel and Daniel was led away, barely glancing up as he passed Jack's group. The judge left and the jury started to file out, and after a few minutes, Jack stood up.

"You know what? I'm thinking we should celebrate this. Who wants to get some lunch? Guys?" he asked, looking at Ennis and his parents. They nodded and stood up. He then extended the invitation to Peter, Sam and his lawyer, who all accepted.

They ended up at the Plaza, where a bottle of champagne was ordered with their lunch. Everybody filled their glasses and held them up.

"To justice," Jack toasted, smiling. "To the truth emerging and to victory." He then looked at Sam. "To making friends..." He smiled widely at Ennis. "And to love and unwavering support."

"Hear, hear," they all chorused, sipping the champagne and starting to eat.

Ennis, Jack and Jack's parents bid goodbye to the others and headed back to Long Island, weary and ready for some rest after this stressful day. When Jack was alone in his old room with Ennis, he smiled and moved in close, sharing a long, sweet kiss with his lover.

"Glad that's over with," he murmured, gazing up into Ennis's eyes. Ennis nodded and rubbed his back.

"Me too, darlin'," he replied, hoping now that Jack would get some closure from this, and would finally be able to move on.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

_January 25th, 2010_

Ennis and Jack returned to work on Monday following their eventful weekend, glad that it was all over with at last. The rest of Saturday had been spent at the house, just talking and spending time with Jack's parents. Ennis had especially wanted for Jack to spend some time with his dad, since that had been the original purpose of them taking trips to New York.

Sunday had been pretty much the same, but they did venture out to walk around the city for a while, Jack happily swinging their clasped hands between them and looking as though he'd just won a million dollars. Ennis was relieved to see a genuine smile back on his face. And when they made love on both nights, thankfully without any incident, both of them had felt so complete that it took their breath away, until all they could do was gaze at each other as their bodies became one.

Back in San Francisco, things hadn't changed much. It transpired that Lureen was now actually seeing the guy from their building, and he was okay about her friendship with Jack and Ennis. She had pointed out that if he hadn't been, she wouldn't be going out with him.

Ennis was trying to concentrate on filling out the paperwork he'd been asked to take care of, sat in a small office at the back of the building, but his thoughts kept wandering to Jack. He admired his lover's bravery during the trial, especially for being able to stand up in front of complete strangers and describe the attack. Since he knew first-hand that Jack still had nightmares of it, Ennis could appreciate how hard it must have been for Jack to do that. He wondered if he could have been that brave, and a small part of him told him no.

His phone buzzing in his pocket caught his attention.

_On a little break. How you doing?_

Ennis smiled to himself and replied.

_Filling out paperwork, real boring. Can't wait to see you._

_Me neither. See you soon xxx_

_Yep xxx_

He put his phone back in his pocket, the small conversation working wonders on his attention span. As if he'd been given a jolt of energy, he sat up straighter and began to focus better on the work, thinking of Jack and what they might have for dinner tonight. It felt so domesticated to be thinking of things like this, and he liked the feeling.

Over at the clinic, Jack smiled to himself and put his phone back in his pocket, already missing Ennis. He couldn't seem to spend more than five minutes away from him without missing him like a lost limb. And if he ever thought of it as ridiculous or too feminine, all he had to do was think of his past and remind himself how lucky he was to have someone to miss like this.

"Hey, Jack." A voice broke into his thoughts, and he turned to see Joe walking towards him.

"Hey, doc. How's it going?"

"Everything seems fine. How was the weekend?" Joe asked, hoping that Jack's attacker was now doing time.

Jack smiled. "He's behind bars where he belongs. Got a minimum of twelve months without parole. Might even be in for longer, who knows."

"Bet it was hard, talking about it..."

"Yeah, it was. But...I'm glad I did, because it got him what he deserves. I wish he'd gotten longer, but...this is good. What gets me, though, is how he just didn't seem to care about what he'd done or how long he would be locked up for. What's that about?"

"I don't know, Jack. There are just some people out there who feel no remorse for anything they do. And they never feel guilty about the people they hurt or in your case, how they impact the rest of someone's life. I take it Ennis was there with you."

Jack smiled, the thought of Ennis banishing all negative thoughts of Daniel. "Yeah, he was. Right there with me all the way, just like he said he would be. Sat and...held my hand during the trial, let me know he was there, even if he couldn't really do anything. Well, he reckons he didn't do much, but...he was there, and that means the world to me. I mean, my parents were there, and that was great, but...he was the one I needed most right then, and he was there. That's a lot more than I thought I would ever have five years ago."

Joe nodded, seeing the adoration in Jack's eyes whenever he spoke of his boyfriend. "Well...you be sure to hold onto that one, Jack. He sounds like a hell of a guy."

"He is..." Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "He really is..."

At the lecture, before taking a break, Jack had told his audience about the trial and the outcome, and it was agreed that while Daniel Waters really should have gotten a longer sentence, it was better than having him still roaming the streets and preying on more people. Jack now pointed out that he'd had the love of his life by his side through all of it, and advised the others to never give up on finding someone of their own who would support them no matter what.

Afterwards, when the lecture was over and he was packing up to meet with Ennis, Jack took a moment to think about how truly wonderful the man was. Their sexual relationship aside, Ennis would make an amazing partner when they moved in together. He loved Jack and cared about him, and Jack knew that Ennis would be good to him. Jack had the feeling that Ennis would always be there for him when needed, and he himself promised that if Ennis should ever need that from him, then he would provide. They could well end up spending the rest of their lives together, and Jack simply couldn't wait to find out what life held for them down the road.

* * *

That evening, Ennis and Jack were at Ennis's place, and when they'd finished their dinner they were now slowly making out on the sofa, Jack on top. Their long legs were rubbing together and they were smiling in between luxurious kisses, whispering to each other.

"Can't wait until you move in," Jack murmured, nuzzling their noses together. "Your first morning here, know what I'm gonna do?"

"What?" Ennis asked with a grin, kissing the mole above Jack's lip. Jack practically purred in response.

"Gonna make you breakfast in bed," he replied, running his fingers through Ennis's curls. "The full works, too. How about that?"

"Mmm, sounds good," Ennis said, smiling widely up at him. A thought then occurred to him, and he licked his lower lip. "Jack...can I ask you something?"

"Sure, baby. What's up?"

"Well...we've done a lot of stuff together...but there's one thing we've never done. Um..."

Jack nodded. "Right...we've never done rimming. Is that it?"

"Yeah. Is it safe? I mean...it'd have to be done without a rubber..."

"I know. Ennis, I...I looked it up, ages ago. And I didn't suggest it because I thought it might freak you out." He shrugged. "Anyway...I looked at a few different sites, and they all said that rimming would be safe. Saliva's no good for transmission, remember? Besides, if I rimmed you, it'd be safer than you doing it to me."

Ennis considered this; he trusted Jack to know what was and wasn't safe for them to do. "Okay, bud...you wanna?" Jack grinned and nodded.

"Sure." They got up, grabbing at each other and kissing. Jack gently pushed Ennis through the door to his bedroom and onto the bed. "Mmm..."

"Jack..." Ennis breathed as Jack started to strip him, kissing him all over until they were both naked. They crawled up to the head and Jack gazed down at Ennis, smiling to himself.

"You're so beautiful, Ennis..." he whispered, eyes roaming over Ennis's face and body. Ennis's cheeks reddened.

"Don't know about that, Jack," he replied, looking unsure. "Never thought of myself like that...you sure are, though..."

Jack smiled and softly kissed him, running his hands over Ennis's chest and feeling his lover grow hard. "Are you ready?" Ennis nodded and slowly turned over as Jack placed a rubber on himself, looking forward to what they were about to do.

Ennis relaxed against the pillows as Jack started on his back, softly kissing his way down and hearing his lover sigh with contentment. "You like this?"

"Yeah...keep going, Jack..." A shiver ran through him as Jack reached the small of his back, nuzzling down there. Jack snaked a hand to Ennis's hip and pulled him up onto his knees. He gently prised apart Ennis's cheeks and looked at the dark entrance awaiting him. He'd never done this with anybody before, and he was looking forward to it.

He tentatively reached out with his tongue and started to explore. The taste was interesting, to say the least, and there was something about it that he liked. Jack soon got into it, swirling his tongue around and finding the sweet spot. Ennis was bucking helplessly and groaning, face pressing into the pillow, and Jack took him in hand, stroking him in even movements.

Ennis let out a low groan and shot, trembling under Jack's hand until he was done. Jack followed suit and then collapsed onto Ennis's back, still covered up. "Baby...you okay?"

"Mmm...I'm fine, Jack. That sure was good...can't believe we never did that before..."

"I was just thinking of you, bud," Jack told him softly. "Don't wanna do anything to scare you...you know that."

Ennis smiled and Jack allowed him to roll onto his back, removing his condom and tossing it to the nightstand. He then sank down to lie on Ennis's chest, straddling him and smiling. "I'd never hurt you, Ennis..."

"Me neither, darlin'." Ennis took Jack's face in his hands and pulled it down for a deep kiss, drawing a low moan out of his lover. Their tongues played together slowly and Ennis ran his hands up and down Jack's back, feeling the strong muscles underneath his hands.

When they finally prised apart, Jack settled back down on Ennis's chest, chin on his folded arms. "So...I'm thinking we should do something special this week, to celebrate our little victory. What do you think?"

Ennis nodded. "Sure. Maybe we could do something in New York over the weekend. Remember that boat thing we did a while back? Maybe they have something like that over there."

"Yep. And, um...you know...Valentine's is in a few weeks. Are we gonna do something for that?"

"'Course we are, bud. I wouldn't pass that up..." Ennis kissed the tip of Jack's nose. "You mean a lot to me, Jack...and Valentine's is for showing people you love how much they mean to you. I wanna do something special. It's on a Sunday, right? Maybe we could go to dinner. The restaurants are probably gonna be decorated for the day. What do you say to dinner?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "That sounds great, bud. I'd love that...it'd be real romantic. I love you..." He kissed Ennis firmly, eventually letting him go to breathe.

"I love you too, darlin'..." Jack rolled off him to go to the bathroom, taking the used condom with him. While Ennis waited, he got under the covers and thought about Valentine's. While their dinner plans were in place, he wasn't sure about anything else. When he and Alma had been together, he'd bought her flowers and chocolates. He wasn't sure that Jack would want that kind of thing, being a man. Maybe he'd ask Lureen for advice.

Jack came back into the room, smiling softly at him and climbing under the covers. "Hey."

"Hey, darlin'." They rolled onto their sides, facing each other and just looking. After a while, they leaned in to share a goodnight kiss, and then settled down, continuing to watch each other until their eyelids drooped, sending them into a blissful sleep.

* * *

_February 1st, 2010_

It was Alma's birthday, and the four of them had decided to all go out for dinner together after work. Ennis had bought her some perfume, Lureen some jewellery and Jack had bought her a gift card to her favourite clothing store. Despite the fact that he and Alma were somewhat friends by now, Jack couldn't help but feel a little uneasy about being around her while with Ennis. He knew that when the three of them were in the same space, he toned down his displays of affection, for fear of hurting her feelings. Alma had assured him that she had come to terms with Ennis's sexuality long before he arrived on the scene, but he couldn't quite shake off the feeling that he was rubbing in her face the fact that Ennis preferred him to her.

Still, he tried not to think on it as he worked through the day, giving samples in the morning and talking in the afternoon. He was settling into the routine fairly well, and it was considerably more enjoyable than his old job at the store. At least here, he got paid for thinking about Ennis and doing what came naturally to him.

When it was time for them to get ready for their evening out, he and Ennis were at his place changing into smarter clothes. Jack saw Ennis's crisp white shirt and how it looked over his muscles and gave a wolf-whistle.

"You look pretty good there," he said with a grin, eyes roaming over how well Ennis filled his jeans. He saw Ennis blush and thought it was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen.

"Um, thanks. You, uh...you look good, too." He looked over Jack appreciatively, liking the red shirt he was wearing; it was a very striking colour and made his blue eyes jump out. Ennis swallowed and looked away, knowing that he had no time to be getting distracted. Jack grinned and came over to him, planting a kiss behind his ear.

"Best be going, bud...if I look at you like this much longer...we're never gonna make it." He grabbed his wallet and keys while Ennis did the same and then took his hand, leading him out of the apartment. He then locked up and they went to Lureen's place to see if she was ready yet. A few moments after knocking, she opened the door with a smile. She was wearing a pretty black cocktail dress and her auburn hair was in loose curls down to her shoulders.

"Hey, guys," she greeted them. "I'll be out in a second." They nodded and waited while she grabbed her purse and keys.

"You look great, Lu," Jack said to her, nodding appreciatively. "Real pretty."

"Thanks," she replied, looking pleased with the compliment. They walked down the building and into Jack's car, heading for Ennis's building to pick up the birthday girl. She was wearing a simple white dress very like Lureen's and her dark brown hair was hanging straight down her back.

They went to Café Claude, a French restaurant that played Jazz music throughout the evening. It was a little pricey but Jack had read some great reviews online and they had all decided that it was a good choice for a special occasion. The four of them were shown to a corner booth table and were handed menus, already enjoying the atmosphere around them. Ennis was already earmarking this place as somewhere to bring Jack on a date sometime; it was a very romantic place.

Dinner was well worth the price; it was of a great quality and unlike a lot of upscale places, there was a decent amount on their plates. They ordered a glass of wine each and a bottle of champagne for toasting, feeling like they weren't just celebrating Alma's birthday, but also the victories they'd had lately. Jack, for one, felt much more relaxed about things since the trial, like he'd received some closure on the whole thing. Ennis could see this and reached for his hand under the table, giving it a squeeze. Jack smiled at him, understanding even though nothing had been said.

When they were finished eating, the other three brought out their cards and birthday presents for Alma. Jack hoped that as time went on, he would feel more relaxed about showing Ennis affection while Alma was present. But he knew it might take a long time before he would stop worrying about offending her.

"Thanks, you guys," she said as she unwrapped her presents, moving around the table to thank them. More champagne was consumed by everybody except Jack, who was driving. Two glasses of alcohol were his absolute limit when he was supposed to drive, and he didn't want to risk the lives of himself and his friends. It helped that he wasn't a lightweight; at least he could hold his liquor. When they had had dessert and were finished for the evening, they slowly made their way out of the restaurant and to Jack's car.

Ennis was spending the night at Jack's place, so they dropped Alma off at her building and made their way back with Lureen, who was drowsy from the champagne. She made her way up to her apartment while the remaining two lingered, having decided to make out in the shadows for a few moments.

"Mmm..." Jack purred as they pulled apart. "That was a great place, wasn't it?"

"Sure was. I was thinking, Jack...you wanna go back there sometime? Just us?"

"You mean like a date?" Jack asked with a grin, twirling a curl around his finger. "I'd like that. So...you wanna come up...for a nightcap?" he continued, raising an eyebrow. Ennis smirked.

"Is that what you're calling it now? Guess I can do that..." He leaned in for one more kiss, feeling Jack smiling against his lips.

"Great..." Jack took his hand and led him up through the building, his fatigue melting away. He was alert enough to have some fun with his lover before going to sleep.

* * *

"That was great," Jack commented as he and Ennis walked into his apartment, switching the light on and stretching. "Nice place."

"Yep, sure was." Ennis grabbed Jack from behind and kissed his neck. "Mmm..." Jack smiled and relaxed into the embrace.

"You ready for some action?" he asked lightly, reaching a hand back to pull Ennis closer to him.

"You bet." He walked Jack through the apartment to the bedroom, and soon enough clothes were flying about and two bodies were becoming one.

A little later, they were both lying on their fronts, talking softly as their bodies cooled down. Ennis looked at Jack, eyes narrowing a little.

"You know...you seemed a little weird at dinner, now I think on it. Are you okay?"

Jack shrugged, thinking of his unease around Alma and showing Ennis affection around her. "Well...there is something bothering me, I guess. But...it's not a big thing..."

"What?" Ennis asked softly, reaching out to stroke Jack's back. "Tell me, darlin'..." Jack bit his lip and turned over, sitting up.

"The thing is...it's Alma. I mean...don't get me wrong, she's really nice and everything...and she was good to me when my old workmates found out about my HIV. But...lately, with all the time we spend with her, I..."

Ennis's eyebrows furrowed and he too sat up, touching Jack's knee. "What is it?"

"Ennis...don't you think..." He sighed. "Look, the thing is...whenever we're with her, I just feel like I have to rein things in a little. Like even holding your hand or kissing you. I keep thinking about how it might hurt her feelings...because I got you and she didn't. Surely she must feel a little resentful?"

He looked at Ennis, hoping for some reassurance that this wasn't the case. Ennis would have laughed at the absurdity of it all if Jack hadn't had that look on his face. "Oh, darlin'..." he sighed, shuffling closer and putting an arm around Jack. "You wanna know something?" Jack nodded. "Well...before I met you, remember how I spent about two months just watching you in the coffeehouse? Well, the morning before we talked, I told Alma about you. How I liked you but wasn't sure if you were gay, or if you might be interested. She told me it was worth a try. And she said she just wants me to be happy. Okay?"

"But that was then," Jack protested, clearly still worried. "What about now? God, Ennis...if we ever broke up, and I saw you with someone else...kissing them...I'd feel like someone ripped my heart out. Surely she must feel like that to see us?"

Ennis thought about this, and his conversation with Alma on the very topic; he'd spoken to her about this just a few weeks before. She had reassured him that she had no problem in seeing him with Jack.

"Look, Jack...I asked her about it a while back. Wanna know what she said? She told me that it was okay. And she confessed that it hadn't been easy at first, to see me kissing you, but she got used to it. She's a smart girl, Jack...she knows that it wasn't a problem with her that made me break up with her. It's just a case of me being gay. I couldn't stay with her when I was attracted to guys. Wouldn't be fair to her. And we made our peace with each other before I met you. So...don't go worrying about censoring yourself around her. She's learning to not let it bother her so much. And I bet that when she finds a man of her own, she won't look twice at us."

"You mean that?" Jack asked sceptically. "Or are you just saying it to make me feel better?"

"Can't it be both?" Ennis said softly, rubbing his back. "If this really bothers you...maybe you should ask her. I'm sure she wouldn't mind reassuring you. She's a good person and I know she likes you...she wouldn't want you worrying about this. Just talk to her, okay?"

Jack shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I know it's not real nice of me, but...it just feels like I'm shoving it in her face that you're my man and not hers. And there's...a really small part of me that likes that. I know it's wrong, and a little mean...but I can't help it. I'm proud that you're my boyfriend, and that you're gonna be my partner when you move in." He stood up and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know..."

"It's not a bad thing, Jack," Ennis told him, also standing and walking up to him. "I know they say pride's a sin, but...guess it's a little late to be worrying about that." This drew a reluctant grin out of Jack. "I like sinning with you," Ennis said in a low voice, and Jack laughed, putting his arms around Ennis, who pulled him close. "It's okay to be proud of what you have, especially with what you've been through. So...don't go worrying, okay?" He leaned in to kiss Jack, who finally started to relax.

When they pulled apart, Ennis resumed rubbing Jack's back. "Darlin'...I'm real proud of what we've got. More than I ever thought I'd have. I love you so much..."

"I love you too," Jack replied, nuzzling their noses together. "Sorry I got all freaky before..." Ennis shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. We've got a lot to work out and...we will, when I move in. We'll have all the time in the world to figure this stuff out. And you know what? I can't wait to live with you. I know we practically do already, spending all our spare time together, but...it'll be official. We'll be partners...a real couple with a real life together. You and me..."

Jack grinned. "I like the sound of that." His hands lowered to Ennis's ass. "You ready for another go?" Ennis kissed him hard in response and they fell back onto the bed, ready to seal their promises to each other.

* * *

_February 5th, 2010_

Valentine's was approaching swiftly, and both Ennis and Jack were wondering about presents. With them both being male, neither of them were too sure that the other would want chocolates or flowers, as they used to buy for girls. While they were looking forward to their dinner together in New York, they both also wanted to buy a gift for each other.

Jack thought about this as he was stretched out on Ennis's sofa, reading the newspaper. Ennis was making lunch for them both during their break from work and listening to the radio.

He hadn't yet spoken to Alma about his concerns, and truth be told wasn't too sure how she might react. Ennis had said that she was perfectly fine with talking to him, but Jack was still wary. He still couldn't shake off the feeling that he was shoving it in her face whenever he even looked at Ennis, knowing that she had lost him because she wasn't male.

"Jack? It's ready," Ennis called from the kitchen, and Jack got up, sighing and wishing that things could be a little simpler for them. It certainly wasn't easy to be in a same-sex relationship, especially a magnetic one (as it was called).

"You look miles away," Ennis commented as Jack walked in. "What's up?"

"Huh? Oh...just thinking about talking to Alma. Dunno what I'm gonna say, to be honest..." Ennis sighed and pulled Jack close, kissing his temple.

"It'll be fine, bud. Really...she won't bite your head off." Jack laughed in spite of himself and they sat down to lunch; tomato soup with plenty of bread.

"I know, but...still can't help it. It's like...if I go up to her and ask her if she's okay with seeing us together...it's kind of like I'm complaining that not everything's perfect. And...it just strikes me as ungrateful to complain to her considering that you're my boyfriend and not hers. Just makes me think I'm shoving it in her face."

Ennis sighed. "I know. Jack...you have to talk to her. I know her...and I bet she'd be unhappy to hear that you're thinking like this. Tell you what...how about I mention it to her, and she finds you to ask if you're okay? Would that be better?"

Jack considered this. "I guess. Maybe it's a good idea...I just don't think I can go up to her..."

"You don't have to," Ennis told him gently, covering Jack's hand with his own. "Stop worrying, okay? Let's...let's just talk about something else. What are we doing for Valentine's gifts? I didn't think you'd want flowers..."

"Yeah, me neither. Why don't we just buy each other something? A little gift that means something...you know?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, I see what you mean. Good idea, bud. We can swap them over dinner while we're in New York."

"Yep. Speaking of which...I meant to tell you; my dad got us Knicks tickets for this weekend, since we've missed out the last couple of weekends with him."

"Sounds great, bud. Are you all packed for tonight?"

"Yeah, all done. What time's the flight?"

"Five," Ennis answered. "Should be there around ten...just enough time to say hi to your parents before we fall asleep."

"Great...but who says we're gonna be falling asleep when we get into bed?" Jack asked, his eyes alight. Ennis shook his head.

"Don't ever get enough, do you?"

Jack ran his foot up and down Ennis's leg. "Of you? Nope. Always want you, baby." He grinned as he saw Ennis's cheeks reddening and left him alone to eat in peace.

Afterwards, they retreated to the sofa and started making out, Jack pulling Ennis further down onto him. "Mmm..."

"Mmm...Jack..." Ennis breathed into his lover's mouth, already lost in his desire. He moved down Jack's body, lifting his shirt up to expose his chest with the fine dark hair, nuzzling and kissing. Jack sighed and let his head fall back to the arm, enjoying Ennis's lips on his skin.

Ennis reached Jack's pants and quickly undid them, revealing his tumescence. Jack put a hand on his shoulder. "Wait, bud. You need a rubber if you're gonna do that. I left some of the flavoured ones in the nightstand..." Ennis nodded and quickly got up, staggering with his erection straining his jeans. Jack laid there with his shirt up near his neck and pants around his ankles, breathing heavily.

His lover soon came back, holding a pair of condoms and clearly eager to get back to Jack. He removed his own clothes and stripped Jack completely. "Come on...the floor..." Seeing what Ennis was up to, Jack joined him and grabbed one of the rubbers, smoothing it on himself and laying down. They both shuffled until their crotches were in each other's faces, and with a quick nod went to work. Jack could taste cherry and Ennis tasted orange, the zingy taste and hardness in his mouth sending volts through his body.

Jack's hand found its way around to Ennis's ass, and he pushed a finger in, making Ennis gasp and buck into his mouth, moving his hips uncontrollably. He came with a groan and felt Jack do the same. Even though Jack was covered by the rubber, he could certainly smell plenty, and he would have gladly swallowed if Jack hadn't been positive.

But that was a moot point. Jack was positive, but Ennis still loved him and knew that he always would no matter what happened. When they were done, he moved around until he could take Jack in his arms and kiss him, buck naked on the floor without a care in the world.

"That was good," Jack murmured tiredly, stretching and settling in his lover's arms.

"Sure was...come on, darlin'...don't wanna be late back to work..."

"Hmm..." Jack reluctantly got up and they redressed, now ready to face the afternoon and the flight to New York. "Nothing like a quickie in the middle of the day," he commented as they left the apartment.

"You got it, bud," Ennis replied with a smile.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

_February 14th, 2010_

It was finally Valentine's, and Ennis and Jack were approaching the restaurant in the city where they had agreed to have dinner. Their presents for each other were in their pockets, both of them feeling a little nervous about swapping them.

The past week had been a blur. Ever since Daniel Waters had been sent down it was as though life had slowed for them. They had gone to the Knicks game with Jack's father the week before and had gone to a Rangers game yesterday. Jack liked spending time with his father and bonding with him as much as he could while he had the chance. To his relief, his father had welcomed Ennis along and treated him like an equal, which he was very thankful for.

Back home, Lureen was still seeing the guy from their building and Alma had been asked out by a man who lived in her building, which made Ennis relieved because she hadn't been out with anyone since they'd split up. At least now he didn't have to feel so guilty about having moved on since their breakup.

Speaking of Alma, she and Jack had spoken about his concerns when it came to showing Ennis affection in front of her. She had done her best to reassure him that it was fine, and that she was happy for them both. It certainly helped that she was seeing someone now; at least she wouldn't be feeling left out anymore.

The pair of them entered the restaurant and looked around, Jack letting out a low whistle. "Nice...the pictures on the website didn't do it justice..." Ennis nodded and they were greeted by the maître d', who showed them to a table in the corner, a little way apart from the rest of the tables. He seemed to guess that they didn't want any attention, being two guys here on this particular night.

He handed them both a menu once they were seated and left them to return to his post. "What do you want?" Ennis asked, looking over the list. The food all sounded delicious and the prices weren't too high; perfectly affordable for people of average income like themselves. He and Jack were making good money, but were by no means rich. Ennis knew how important it was for Jack to have money at his disposal, considering all the things he would need it for.

"Don't know...it all looks great..." After a few more minutes of deliberating, he settled on the full steak dinner with all the trimmings, and Ennis opted for the same. The waiter took their order and they decided to have wine with their meal; they'd taken a cab here so that neither of them would have to drive after consuming alcohol.

As they waited for their food, they took in their surroundings. The restaurant was quite an upscale place despite its low prices, and it was decorated in red and dark pink decorations all over, including small hearts here and there. Their table had a tall red candle in the middle, and it was very romantic. Jack smiled and looked at Ennis. "I like this place."

"Yeah, me too. You, um...you wanna swap presents?" he asked nervously, and Jack nodded. Ennis extracted the wrapped key ring he'd had made special for Jack, hoping he would like it. Jack handed him the small book full of love coupons, hoping that it wasn't too cheesy. "Here you go, Jack..."

Jack smiled as he revealed the key ring. On one side was a picture of himself and Ennis that Lureen had taken for them in the hallway a few weeks after they'd gotten together. Both of them had the picture in their apartments, but now he could carry it with him. On the other side was a white background with three words in black curly lettering; _I love you_.

"Aw, I love it. Thanks, baby," he said, kissing Ennis's cheek. "Here..."

Ennis flicked through the book, smiling as he read through the coupons. One was for a bubble bath made for two, plenty were for kisses, a movie night, a picnic, a massage...there were so many things that he could redeem them for, and he had to admit that he loved it.

"Jack...this is..."

"Not too cheesy, is it?" Jack asked, looking at him warily. Ennis shook his head and kissed him warmly, sliding one hand around the back of Jack's neck.

"No, it's not. This is great. Maybe...we can use some of them tonight. Like the bubble bath, or..."

"The one with twenty-five kisses?" Jack finished for him, eyes sparkling. "Can I kiss you all over?" Ennis shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks, darlin'." The food arrived and they reluctantly pulled away so they could eat. Everything was delicious and well worth the money, and they had decided beforehand to pay half each, so that it was fair. Throughout the meal, Ennis thought about the coupon book he'd been given, and couldn't get over what a romantic gesture it was. It wasn't too girly, like flowers and chocolates, but it was perfect and still allowed Jack to show him how much he loved him.

When they were finally done, they slowly made their way outside and Jack called them a cab, sitting down on the wall outside to wait. Ennis sat beside him and pulled him close, leaning in for a kiss. Jack met his lips eagerly, sliding his tongue against Ennis's and running his hand through his lover's curls.

"Love you," he murmured when they broke apart, nuzzling their noses together. Ennis smiled, looking relaxed and happy.

"I love you too...first time in my life that I've ever enjoyed this day. It's been really special, Jack..."

"Sure has. Never thought I'd be as happy as I am with you...wanna use some of those coupons when we get back?"

"You bet," Ennis replied, thinking of all the possibilities the little book held. The rest of the night looked like it would continue to be very romantic.

* * *

They got back to the house around nine, offering a hurried goodnight to Jack's parents before heading upstairs, like a pair of teenagers instead of men approaching thirty. With the door safely locked behind them, the two of them came into each other's arms and kissed, immediately finding each other's tongues.

"Mmm...you wanna?" Jack murmured, starting to kiss Ennis's neck.

"Uh huh..." Their jackets were shed and Ennis pulled out the coupon book. "Um..."

"What do you want first?" Jack asked, lying down on the bed with a seductive gleam in his eye. "Anything you want."

Ennis flicked through the book and spied a coupon for twenty-five kisses. Thinking it was a good place to start, he ripped it out and handed it to Jack, who nodded.

"Alright. Come on over here..." Ennis sat down on the bed and Jack started to kiss him, first on the lips and then slowly travelling his body, pulling Ennis's shirt out of his jeans and kissing his stomach. Twenty-five kisses were planted on Ennis's body and Jack didn't waste a single one of them. "What next, baby?"

"Um..." Ennis flicked through the book once more and paused. One of them said, _a night of slow, romantic lovemaking with someone you love. _"This one." Jack looked at it and smiled, the seriousness of the moment seeping into his heart as he realised what Ennis wanted.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, stroking his lover's face.

"Yeah..." Jack nodded again and they slowly undressed, pausing now and then to kiss or just to look at each other. Jack then grabbed a condom and the lube and settled between Ennis's legs, gazing at him lovingly as he prepared himself.

"Just relax, sweetheart...you know I won't hurt you..." Ennis nodded and allowed Jack to penetrate him, trying not to gasp out loud at the feeling of being taken. Even though he'd bottomed many times during their relationship, he would never quite get used to that initial pain. But he knew it was well worth those few moments; the rest of the time he would be feeling nothing but bliss.

Jack soon pushed all the way in and settled himself, knees braced on the bed and leaning on his elbows on either side of Ennis. "You ready?" At Ennis's nod and the slight squeeze he gave with his legs, Jack began to move inside him, slowly thrusting and keeping his eyes fixed on Ennis's face. He loved these moments; when they made love face to face they could each see how the other was feeling and the pure pleasure of what they were doing. Jack especially loved it when he was on top and he could see Ennis's look of sheer bliss; it moved him to know that he could make another human being feel like this. It let him know that no matter what else, he was doing something right in his life. He knew he made Ennis happy; he'd been told so often enough by the man himself.

They rocked together slowly, Ennis raising his hips in time to meet Jack's thrusts and softly moaning. Jack leaned down to kiss him, tongue sliding in smoothly and drawing Ennis's out. He felt Ennis's legs around his waist squeeze him harder and knew the signs; Ennis was getting close. He thrust a little faster and moved his mouth down to his lover's neck, determined to leave his mark and let the world know that Ennis was his; the man who made him happy and the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

"Jack..." Ennis choked out, breathing heavily. "Close..."

"I know...come on, baby...come on..." Knowing that it would push Ennis over the edge, Jack moved one hand down Ennis's stomach to take him in hand, stroking him in time to his thrusts and hearing his moans get louder. "Come for me, baby..."

That did it. Ennis groaned in Jack's ear and shot between them, muscles clamping and squeezing. Jack soon followed him into orgasm and then collapsed onto him, panting heavily. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah...love that coupon thing..." Ennis felt Jack laughing against him. "Where'd you get it, anyway?"

"It was this website...you print off the pages of coupons and then just cut out the ones you want. I started on it a couple weeks back, when we first talked about Valentine's." He rose up off Ennis's chest and smiled down at him. "I'm glad you like it. There's twenty coupons in all, and you've used two. Plenty more for us to use..." He nuzzled their noses together, drawing a smile from Ennis. "You want anything else?"

"Not from the book tonight. Kinda tired now. But...can we just...talk for a while? Remember how when we got together, we used to stay up for hours just talking? Especially after having sex?"

"Sure, I remember. Kind of stopped doing that, didn't we? Real life got in the way...but I'd love to." Jack climbed off him and removed the rubber, tying it and placing it on the nightstand. He knew he would have to dispose of it in a few hours before they left; their flight home was very early since they had work at nine and they could only get a few hours of sleep. They could only really sleep for about an hour anyway here, so it didn't feel worth it. Jack was sure they could sleep on the plane, but he wasn't looking forward to work for once. He didn't know if he would be able to get it up while so tired and jetlagged, but neither of them had been able to get the day off and they'd wanted to spend Valentine's in New York. As a result, they would have to get to work just a few hours after arriving home.

The two of them talked for the next few hours, reminiscing about the early days of their relationship and noting how far they had come since then. By the time they were on the plane at two in the morning, they felt closer than they ever had done before.

* * *

Two days later, they were back home on the West Coast, and life was continuing as normal. Lureen introduced her new boyfriend to the other three, and Alma's relationship with her new friend was picking up quickly. Both Ennis and Jack were glad to see her happy, both for different reasons and the same reasons.

Ennis and Jack's relationship was as strong as ever. They saw every new day together as an achievement, not least because of Jack's condition. Jack had often said how having the virus meant that tomorrow was no guarantee, so they had to live life to the full as much as possible. He and Ennis told each other at least once a day that they loved each other, and they were never in any doubt of their feelings.

However, there was still a black spot on their lives. Ennis still hadn't seen his parents since the disastrous dinner back in October, and didn't speak to his mother on the phone often. He had put his foot down and was adamant that he wouldn't set foot back in the house until they apologised to Jack and were willing to accept the relationship. While Jack didn't like that Ennis was on the outs with his parents because of him, he was touched that Ennis was willing to defend him, and them as a couple.

He was thinking about this as he waited for Ennis in the coffee place at lunch, sipping a cappuccino and scrolling through his phone, deleting old messages. There were still some from before he'd moved here, and he was happy to delete traces of how miserable he'd been before he'd met Ennis. He had so much to look forward to now, and he fully intended to put all of his efforts into their future together.

"Hey," said Lureen, tapping his shoulder. "You guys want something for lunch when he gets here?" Jack shook himself from his reverie and nodded.

"Uh, sure...maybe a couple of toasted sandwiches or something."

"Okay, cheese or ham? Or both?" she asked, noting it down in her pad. Jack shrugged.

"Both." Just as she was walking away, he saw Ennis entering the building, looking at his own phone with an unreadable expression on his face. He sat down opposite Jack and sighed, clearly a million miles away, and then looked up wearily.

"Hey, bud."

"Hey yourself," Jack replied, leaning over for a kiss. "What's with the face? Something happen at work?"

"No...my mom called when I was walking over here..." He looked at his phone once more, barely noticing when Lureen poured him some coffee. "Uh, thanks." She nodded and left them to it, knowing that whatever might be wrong, Jack would be the one to get it out of him. Jack certainly had a knack for drawing Ennis out; quite a feat considering how closed-up he could be. It was just one of the many reasons why they were a perfect match.

"So...what's wrong?" Jack asked, placing his hand gently over Ennis's. "What did she say?"

"Nothing she hasn't said before...same stuff about wanting to see me. I don't know if she really is sorry about what they said, or if she's just saying it so that I'll talk to her." He shrugged. "Don't really know what to do."

Jack thought for a few moments, during which Lureen brought over their sandwiches. The pair of them tucked in and ate in silence, Ennis clearly thinking over what his mother had said.

"_I don't know, mom...I told myself I wouldn't come back up there until I was sure you're both sorry for what you said about Jack. I can't risk that happening again; things are going really well for us now...I don't wanna wreck it."_

"_Ennis...please consider coming up here sometime. It's true that we're not...completely okay with you seeing Jack, but...if he means this much to you...we might be able to get used to it. You just have to give us a chance."_

_Ennis bit his lip and he paused outside the coffeehouse, knowing Jack would be waiting for him in there. "I need to think about it, okay? And I need to talk to Jack."_

"_Alright, honey. Let me know how it goes..." He clicked off and entered the building, staring at his phone._

Now, as he ate the food with Jack sat opposite the table, Ennis wondered what to do. If he was honest with himself, he wanted to see his mother. But no matter how much he missed her, he still couldn't quite forgive what she and his father had said. They might never accept his relationship with Jack, the one thing he would never give up for anyone, and it hurt him. Jack saw the look in his eyes and leaned over.

"Bud...it'll be okay. I promise..." he said gently, hoping to reassure his worried lover. He didn't like it when one of them worried.

"How do you know?" Ennis asked, feeling hopeless. "What if I just can't bear to look at them ever again because of how small-minded they are?"

Jack shrugged. "That might not happen. Look...when my dad told me he has cancer and I didn't know what to do, you said I'd do the right thing for me. Same for the trial when I had to testify. Now I'm saying the same to you. You'll do the right thing for you, and I'll support you no matter what. Alright? You were there for me, and now it's my turn." He smiled a little and took Ennis's hand, squeezing his fingers.

Ennis couldn't help but smile back, not when Jack was being so sweet to him. He nodded and squeezed back. "Thanks, darlin'." They continued to eat until they were done, and then Jack moved over to sit next to Ennis, settling under his arm and leaning in. The two of them slowly kissed, lost in their own little world away from everything else. This was what they lived for, and nothing else mattered as long as they had each other.

* * *

That evening, the two of them had dinner at Jack's place and then sat together on the sofa, drinking wine and watching TV. Jack was resting his head against Ennis's shoulder and felt relaxed, but he knew that Ennis's mind was elsewhere after that phone call.

Jack wasn't really angry about what Ennis's parents had said anymore; he kind of understood why they had reacted that way. They were just concerned for their son and his wellbeing, and Jack could admit that he might feel the same if it were his son. Still, he could sense how hurt Ennis had been by it, especially the suggestion that they break up so Ennis could find someone who wouldn't be a risk. And it was understandable that he was hesitant to go back up there, unwilling to put them both through that again.

He sighed a little and put his glass down, turning to Ennis. "Come on, bud...talk to me. What's going on in there?" He tapped Ennis's head gently. "Tell me..."

Ennis looked at him and nodded in resignation. He could never keep things from Jack for long. "Thinking about my parents...wondering what to do."

"I know," Jack said quietly, rubbing his arm. "I don't really know what to tell you, bud. If we go up there, the same thing might happen again. I know you don't want that...for either of us. But I can tell that this is weighing on your mind...you wanna see them again, don't you?"

"Yeah," Ennis admitted, staring into his wine. "I do, but...I can't go through all that again, and I don't want you going through it again either." He looked up at Jack, face full of raw emotion that told Jack just how much Ennis loved him. "All I ever wanted...ever since we got together...was for you to be happy, and safe. Don't want you being hurt again..."

Jack smiled a little and leaned in, head against Ennis's chest and wrapping an arm over his stomach. "Baby...it's okay. I can handle what they say to me...I'm a big boy."

In different circumstances, Ennis would have made some joke about that comment, but he was too distracted and tired. "I know, darlin'...but I can't help it. After everything you've been through...I just wanna protect you. Wanna keep you safe..." He wrapped his arm around Jack and pulled him closer. "Can't ever lose you..."

"You won't," Jack promised him. He knew that Ennis's greatest fear was losing him, either by him dying or them having to break up for whatever reason. All he could do was reassure Ennis that it would never happen, and the more he did so, the more he started to believe it himself. "I promise, Ennis...you won't lose me."

He rose up and gently kissed his lover, drawing his tongue out and hearing a soft moan. Without speaking, and staring into each other's eyes, they got up and headed for the bedroom, Jack switching off the TV. It was quite a strange phenomenon; whenever their passion and love for each other grabbed them, there was no force on earth that could stop them from showing each other how they felt.

Jack led Ennis into the bedroom, shutting the door and gently pushing him down onto the bed, kissing him softly. He coaxed his lover to lie back as he lovingly undressed him, smiling warmly at him. When they were both naked, they crawled up the bed and got under the covers, kissing dizzily and hands roaming.

"How you want it?" Jack murmured, kissing Ennis's neck. Ennis had to bite back a whimper at the feeling of Jack's lips on his skin.

"Wanna be inside you," he breathed, cupping Jack's ass with his hands. "I...I wanna...feel you there..."

"Sure," Jack replied, understanding the comfort and reassurance that Ennis was trying to find from him. He'd learned that there was no better way of reassuring each other; this ultimate act of love could work wonders on both of them.

He rolled onto his back and pulled Ennis to lie on top of him, hands buried in his curls which were starting to darken with sweat. "Come on..." Ennis grabbed the lube and a pair of rubbers, quickly preparing them both, tongue still lost in Jack's mouth as his desire grew. He pushed Jack's legs up to rest over his shoulders and gazed down at him, eyes hazy with lust. Jack nodded and settled into position, hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets to brace himself.

Ennis slowly pushed into him, hearing the soft gasp as he penetrated Jack's body. When he was fully inside, he saw Jack open his eyes and look up at him, eyes full of trust and love. Ennis opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again; he realised that no words were needed right now. They could tell each other how they were feeling without verbally expressing it.

They made love for what felt like several blissful days, savouring every moment and using all of their senses to experience it. Jack strained for the finish line, feeling himself lift his hips even higher to meet his lover's thrusts.

Ennis took hold of him with his free hand and started to jerk him off, eliciting a low moan from Jack. He thrust a little quicker and buried his face in Jack's neck, sucking and kissing a particular spot. Jack groaned as he came, hot and hard into the rubber and wishing, not for the first time, that Ennis could swallow it down and taste him. That was one thing that they would never be able to do.

Still, he lay panting as Ennis finished and collapsed onto him, head spinning from the encounter. "Damn," he breathed, the first word spoken in what felt like hours. "God, I love you..."

"I love you too," Ennis murmured, nuzzling Jack's neck and sighing in contentment. "Thanks, darlin'..."

Jack lifted his legs away from Ennis's shoulders and relaxed, wrapping his arms around his lover. "No problem, baby."

* * *

_February 18th, 2010_

As luck would have it, both Ennis and Jack finished work early on Thursday, so they decided to spend the extra time outside before retiring to Ennis's place for dinner. The two of them walked through the park hand in hand, enjoying the warm spring weather and the quiet all around them. As they walked, both of them were doing a lot of thinking.

Jack was reflecting on everything that had happened between them lately, and all the good times they were having. He felt ready for Ennis to be his partner, and for them to have a real life together. Even though they couldn't get legally married, thanks to Proposition 8, he knew that they would still have some rights as a cohabiting couple, and he was eager for them to make the most of it. He ultimately decided to ask Ennis formally to move in with him, and made up his mind that he would do it tomorrow. Jack couldn't wait for them to live together; despite the fact that they were always together, this would make it official, and he knew it would make them both very happy. It was something that they both wanted.

Ennis, meanwhile, had decided that he was willing to go and see his parents up in Mill Valley, but only if they both apologised directly to Jack, even if it was over the phone. He wanted them to understand that their words back in October had hurt both himself and Jack, and that it didn't matter in the end if they were accepted. He knew he loved Jack and that they would be moving in soon; it would hurt if his parents never spoke to him again for this, but at least he would have Jack. That was the most important thing right now.

The two of them sat down on their usual bench and settled back, still holding hands and observing the scenery around them.

"Sure is nice right now," Jack noted. There was blossom on the trees again and they could hear birds chirping.

"Yeah," agreed Ennis. He looked at the beauty of the scene around him, and then looked at Jack. There was no comparison; Jack was more beautiful. He smiled and leaned over, kissing Jack on the cheek.

"What was that for?" asked Jack, sounding amused. Ennis shrugged.

"Don't know...just felt like doing it. I think...you're more beautiful than all this..." He blushed at his own words, but Jack grinned and kissed him warmly on the mouth.

"Aw, Ennis...you sure are cute when you blush..."

"Shut up, Jack," he replied, going even redder. Jack laughed and leaned against him, closing his eyes. Ennis kissed the top of his head. "You ready to head back and get some dinner?"

"Yeah, you bet." They both stood up and started walking towards Ennis's apartment, Jack hoping that it would be for one of the last times. He would definitely ask Ennis tomorrow to move in with him, formally and for real. Maybe he would cook him a romantic meal with candles and everything to make it seem like more of a proposal. Jack figured that that was what it was, or at least as close as they could get to one.

They entered the apartment and Ennis sat Jack down on the sofa, kissing him lightly. "I'll take care of dinner, darlin'. You make yourself at home." Jack smiled at the sweet gesture and took off his sneakers, stretching and pulling out his cell phone. There was a message from his mom about the coming weekend, and one from Lureen suggesting that the four of them meet up for dinner sometime.

Soon enough, the smell of cooking chicken filled the air, and Jack sniffed with interest. Ennis was a very good cook; he couldn't deny that. He wasn't too bad in the kitchen, but Ennis was far better. Jack looked forward to their coming life together.

He got up and entered the kitchen, stopping in the doorway and leaning against the frame, smiling to himself. Ennis was so focused on his task, and Jack loved how he put so much effort into everything he did, like he truly cared. Jack knew deep down that Ennis liked cooking for him; delicious healthy meals that would do him good, and he appreciated it very much.

"Something smells good in here," he commented, smiling further when Ennis looked at him.

"Thanks, bud...got potatoes and gravy to go with it...know you like this kind of thing..."

"I sure do," Jack replied, coming into the kitchen to stand near him. "Good comfort food on a chilly day." He kissed Ennis's cheek and went into the fridge for the orange juice, pouring two tall glasses and setting them on the table. The smell coming from the oven was making his mouth water.

The pair of them sat down to dinner and started to talk about their day. This was one thing that they were both looking forward to from their life together; to come home and see each other and have dinner together, talking about what they'd done that day. It would be very domesticated, and Jack knew that he needed that stability. His life had been pretty erratic over the five years before he'd met Ennis, and he was looking forward to settling down with the man he loved.

"Good chicken," he commented to Ennis, covering up his silence. Ennis smiled at him shyly, pleased with the praise.

"Thanks, darlin'," he replied, reaching out his foot to touch Jack's. They played footsie for a few moments and then continued to eat, looking forward to what they would be doing later that night.

When they went to bed that night, curled up around each other after some satisfying lovemaking, both of them felt a sense of inner peace and tranquillity, like all was right with the world.

Neither of them were yet aware of the harsh challenge that awaited them; something that would truly test the strength of their relationship.


	27. Chapter 27

_Author's notes_

_I feel I should warn you; this chapter turns into a tearjerker about halfway through. Have tissues handy!_

_Kathryn_

* * *

**Chapter 27**

_February 19th, 2010_

The next day, things started off normal. Jack was busy planning his proposal to Ennis, and also thinking about what to make for dinner so that it was romantic. Ennis wasn't yet aware of his lover's plans, but he knew that he was happy. They'd talked about living together so many times and he knew it would happen soon. But he was starting to wonder when.

While they were at work, they sent texts to each other whenever they had a break, and Jack revealed to Ennis that he was planning a romantic evening for them, making Ennis wonder what he'd done to deserve such an incredible guy.

When they finally finished, Jack was waiting at the entrance to the park for Ennis, looking forward to the night ahead. He had planned this carefully; their flight to New York tomorrow was quite early. Normally they flew over on Fridays after dinner, but he wanted them to have this night to themselves. He had a feeling they would be celebrating.

Ennis finally appeared and Jack's heart soared at the sight of him. Those blonde curls, the deep brown eyes, the dimples whenever he smiled...Jack was head over heels for that man, and he knew he'd met his soul mate.

"Hey," Ennis said to him when he came closer, pulling Jack close. He went willingly, meeting the warm kiss that greeted him and smiling against Ennis's lips.

"Hey yourself," he replied, eyes sparkling as he looked up at him. "You ready for tonight?"

"Sure." They linked hands and started walking towards Jack's building. "So what's the occasion?"

"You'll see," Jack replied with a grin. "Got something special for tonight." They reached the building and headed up, bumping into Lureen who was off on a date with her boyfriend. She knew what Jack was planning and winked at them as they passed, making Jack roll his eyes.

Once inside, Jack sat Ennis down on the sofa and kissed him, just as Ennis had done the day before. "Stay here, bud. You're gonna like this." Ennis nodded and sat back, wondering what was going on. Jack didn't normally plan surprises like this, so he wasn't too sure what he was planning this time. But he trusted Jack enough to know that it would be a good surprise.

The smell of chilli, his favourite dish without a doubt, filled the air. Jack had clearly prepared it with some thought in mind. Ennis could hear his stomach rumbling already and fought the urge to go in there.

"Alright, we're ready," Jack called from the doorway half an hour later. Ennis went in and stopped, looking around. The main light was off, but there were several candles set out, casting shadows on the walls. He'd been right; this was a very romantic dinner that Jack had been planning.

"What...?" he started, a little taken aback and very touched. Jack smiled softly and took his hand.

"I wanted tonight to be special...you'll see in a little while. Come on, sit down." Ennis did so and looked at Jack in wonder as he poured them both wine and bowls of chilli. The whole setting was very cosy and intimate, like a private world just for the two of them. Jack hoped he'd done well with this gesture, and the look on Ennis's face as they ate told him that his efforts had been well-received.

When dinner was finally over, Jack took the bowls to the counter and sat back down, taking both of Ennis's hands. "You're probably wondering what this is all about, huh?"

"Sure am. What's going on?" Ennis asked, seeing the nervousness on Jack's face.

"Well...the thing is...we've talked a lot about living together, right? But we never set an exact date or made any concrete plans. And I don't know about you, but...I'm starting to wonder what we're waiting for."

"Yeah, me too," Ennis confessed, feeling Jack rubbing his thumb over his hand.

"Well, um...with everything that's happened lately...the trial and everything...I know you've always been there for me when I needed you. And I hope you know what you mean to me, Ennis. And...I want to be there for you, too. Whenever you need it. So...to that end...I wanna ask you something. Properly."

Ennis nodded, seeing where this was going; Jack was about to ask him formally to move in, and he couldn't wait to say yes. "What is it, darlin'?"

Jack met his eyes, everything he felt for Ennis right there in his gaze. "I'd like to ask you...formally...to move in with me. Will you...will you live with me? Here?" He was feeling a little shaky but he wanted to get through this.

A wide smile crossed Ennis's face, and he nodded. "I sure will, Jack. You know that...nothing would make me happier than to live with you."

"So you'll be my partner?" Jack asked, grinning back at him.

"You bet," Ennis replied simply, lifting Jack's hands and kissing them. "I love you, darlin'."

"I love you too," Jack said happily, getting up and moving around the table. Ennis stood up and they embraced, sharing a deep kiss. "Thank you, Ennis..."

"No problem, baby..." They kissed again and held each other in their arms, feeling like yet another corner had been turned for them. "So...when are we doing it?"

"I figured we could wait until after this weekend before you start packing your stuff," Jack suggested. "That okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Ennis said to him, stroking his face. "Tell you what...you wanna go celebrate?" Jack grinned wickedly.

"Sure...what've you got in mind?"

"Little of this...little of that," Ennis replied nonchalantly, trailing a hand down Jack's front to rub him through his jeans. They broke apart and set to work, Jack blowing out the candles and Ennis clearing the table in record time. He then took Jack's hand and led him to what would be their bedroom, eager to connect with Jack in the best way possible and seal the promises they had made to each other.

* * *

The two of them headed to New York that weekend, eager to tell Jack's parents about them finally moving in together. Ennis hadn't packed any of his things yet, but he was looking forward to it. They decided between them that he would start doing so when they got back on Monday, after work, and that they would be living together by the end of the week. Neither of them could wait until their first night together as partners, and they knew it would be very special.

"You're moving in?" Karen asked with a huge smile as they stood in front of her, hands clasping tightly. "Well, it's about time. Congratulations!" She hugged them warmly and John stood up.

"Uh...well done, you two," he managed, shaking Jack's hand and then Ennis's. "You be sure to look after my boy, you hear?" Ennis nodded, knowing that he would even without being asked.

"I will, don't worry. I'll be real good to him." John nodded his approval and put an arm around his wife.

They all went to a restaurant in the city to celebrate the good news, and then Ennis and Jack went to a late movie together, choosing one at random and making out at the back, completely lost in each other.

"Can't believe it's really happening," Jack murmured, stroking Ennis's face. Ennis gazed into his eyes, heart full of love for this man.

"Me neither, darlin'," he replied, nuzzling their noses together. "I can't wait to move in with you."

On Sunday, John took the two of them to a Knicks game as a gift for them moving in together, Jack fully appreciating the effort he was making. He sensed that his father didn't have much time left, so he was willing to put the past behind him and focus on what was going on. He was finding that he liked spending time with his father; they were closer now than they had ever been. They talked more and John listened to him instead of dismissing his views, like he had when Jack was younger. He treated his son with respect as an adult in his own right, and Ennis could tell how much it meant to Jack.

That evening over dinner, Karen handed them a small package. "It's just a little housewarming gift," she explained, smiling at them. "But I hope you like it." They looked at each other and Jack opened it, grinning when he saw what it was. A small picture frame was in his hands, perfect for a photo of himself and Ennis.

"Aw, thanks, mom," he said to her, leaning over to peck her cheek. "This is real nice..."

"I figured you could put it up in your apartment...once Ennis is all moved in," she told them, smiling. "I bought it a while back, when you first told us that you were thinking of living together. So I waited until it was official."

Jack smiled at her. "Thank you."

"Yeah, thanks Mrs Twist," Ennis added, giving his own shy smile. She waved a hand.

"Oh honey, call me Karen. We're family now, right?" she asked with a wink, and he blushed. Turning serious for a moment, she looked at him thoughtfully. "Ennis, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I hope I'm not putting you on the spot too much with this, but...if it were still legal for you two to get married in California, would you do it?"

"Would I marry Jack?" he asked, looking surprised that she had even asked. It was one of things that required no thought whatsoever; he knew in his heart what the answer would always be. "Of course I would," he continued, looking over at Jack. He was smiling and looking down at his food, cheeks a little red. "I love him...and I'd do it without a second thought."

Karen nodded, seeming happy with this response, and they carried on eating. Jack smiled at Ennis and rubbed his foot against his leg, in a small gesture of love and thanks. Ennis understood and nodded at him, not needing any words.

After dinner, the two of them went out onto the back porch for a small nightcap and a quiet talk. Curled up in the same wicker chair, Jack rested his head on Ennis's chest and let his legs dangle next to Ennis's. Neither of them was entirely sure how they had managed this position, but weren't complaining.

"I like what you said earlier...about marrying me," Jack murmured, sighing deeply. "You really mean that?"

"You know I did," Ennis said softly, rubbing his back. "I really would do it, Jack...sure wish we could." Jack opened his eyes, his heart feeling heavy at the fact that the state they lived in said they couldn't have that one thing. A government whom they didn't even know much about said that they didn't have the right to show the world their love for one another. People they had never met said that their love was wrong, without even knowing them. Jack hated how people could judge like that, based on fear and what was written in a book that was thousands of years old.

But he knew that slowly but surely, the world was changing for people like them. And they still had rights back home, even if they couldn't get married. He and Ennis would have benefits to being a cohabiting couple, and they would be taking full advantage of them over the next few months.

"I wish we could, too," he said quietly, closing his eyes once more. Ennis looked down at him, at the beautiful creature in his arms, and he felt a surge of love for his Jack. He knew that he would follow up on his promise to take care of Jack, and to make sure he was healthy and happy. Having Jack's love made life worth living, brought him happiness, and secured his future. He sincerely hoped that he would never lose Jack; he didn't know what he'd do if he did.

* * *

_January 22nd, 2010_

On Monday, things seemed to be going well for Ennis and Jack. Ennis had started to pack up some of his things and was due to start moving them soon.

Work was going well for both of them, and Jack was starting to make some good money at the clinic. He thought he had the best job in the world; he got to jerk off while thinking about the man he loved, and he was being paid for it. And while they didn't have a perfect life and never would, they were still very happy together and looking forward to sharing a home.

Ennis's parents had been discussed a few times, and it was ultimately decided that they would pay a visit one day after work during the week. Jack was nervous about going back there, but he knew that Ennis needed to see them; they were still his parents and they still loved him. Jack had to give them credit for trying.

At lunch on Monday, they finally got to meet Lureen's new boyfriend and spent some time with him. He was pleasant enough and didn't even blink when Ennis and Jack held hands right in front of him; clearly, Lureen had told him beforehand how it was with them.

After work, Jack helped Ennis to bring some of his boxes over, excitement brewing at how official all of this was. They decided not to unpack just yet until they had more time, and left the boxes in the corner of the living room.

"So," Jack started with a smile, moving into Ennis's arms. "You looking forward to this?"

"You bet," Ennis replied, nuzzling their noses together before leaning in to kiss Jack. It didn't matter how many times they'd kissed; every single one took their breath away and made them melt. Jack moaned softly and ran his hands up and down Ennis's back, snaking them under his shirt and feeling the warm skin.

They broke apart and Ennis kissed the mole above Jack's mouth. "Later, darlin'. Wanna get some dinner first?" Jack nodded reluctantly and broke away, heading for the kitchen. They had wordlessly decided between them that Ennis would be spending the night here from now on, despite a lot of his stuff being at his own place. He planned to bring more over every day with Jack's help, until his apartment was empty, and he had already told his landlord that they were in the process of moving him into Jack's place. He told Ennis to take as much time as he needed to get moved over.

Dinner was simply pizza that Jack dug out of the freezer, neither of them particularly hungry. After disposing of the leftovers, Jack turned to Ennis with a gleam in his eye.

"You wanna?" he asked, eyes travelling down his lover's body. Ennis took his hand and nodded. They entered the bedroom (their bedroom now) and began to kiss slowly, hands roaming and clothes being shed.

They tumbled onto the bed and moved up, still stripping off and kissing heavily. Jack, lost in desire, gazed down at Ennis. "Can I?" he whispered, stroking his cheek. Ennis nodded.

"Uh huh." Jack quickly prepared himself and slid in, sighing at the warmth that welcomed him. They'd found a home in each other, and neither of them wanted to lose it.

He moved slowly at first, gradually picking up the pace until he was throbbing hard and getting close. He heard Ennis moaning beneath him, and then felt something go wrong. The condom broke.

"Shit shit shit..." he breathed, freezing where he was. Ennis felt him stop and looked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing how Jack was clearly panicking. "Jack?"

"I...I think the condom just broke," he replied, eyes wide. Ennis drew in a breath, his heart starting to pound.

"What?" he whispered, and he felt Jack pulling out of him. "You didn't come, did you?"

"No, it's okay," Jack replied. He rolled onto his side of the bed and looked down at himself. Sure enough, it had burst. "Fuck." He took it off and threw it to the nightstand, rubbing his forehead. "Sorry about that..."

He turned back to Ennis and paused. Ennis's face was full of fear, and he was looking at Jack strangely. "Ennis?"

"I..." Ennis didn't know how to verbalise what he was feeling. Jack could have infected him if he hadn't been aware of the condom breaking. He'd almost caught the deadly virus. Having sex with Jack was a huge risk, and only now was the reality of that brought home to him. "I..."

Jack tried to put a hand on Ennis's shoulder, but Ennis flinched and jumped off the bed, hands over his mouth. He couldn't help it; he was terrified of being near Jack. At this, Jack also got up and looked at him, hurt that he'd shied away. "Ennis? What's wrong? It didn't happen...I didn't infect you..."

He moved around the bed, and Ennis bolted out of the room. Jack heard the bathroom door shut and sat down on the bed in shock. _What the hell? It's not like I came inside him and infected him..._

_Maybe he's realising for the first time what a risk it is to be with you, _a voice in his head told him. _Maybe he's only just seeing how dangerous it is to sleep with you, even if the condom doesn't break. He won't want to risk that again._

Jack held his head in his hands, unaware that Ennis was doing the same thing in the bathroom.

_I can't do this anymore, _Ennis thought, still scared of what had happened. _I love him, but...it's so risky. Why didn't I realise this before? He's the love of my life...can I really walk away from him? After everything we've been through? I was gonna move in...but what if this happens again? _

Both of them sat where they were, staring into space and neither of them knowing how to fix this.

* * *

Jack was sat on the sofa by the time Ennis emerged from the bathroom, both of them now fully dressed. He was nursing a cup of coffee and looked up at Ennis entered the room. He no longer looked fearful, but there was something in his eyes that Jack didn't like. There was determination, but Jack saw none of the loving familiarity that he was used to seeing in those brown eyes.

"Ennis?" he asked, standing up. Ennis didn't come any closer, keeping his distance. "I'm sorry about before...are you okay?"

"Better than I was," he said quietly, hating himself for what he was about to do. He needed to be by himself for a while, to figure out what to do. He knew it would break Jack's heart, and his own, but he couldn't see any other way. He just couldn't carry on like this, not without figuring out some things. "I know you didn't do it on purpose..."

Jack nodded. "Good. Can we talk? I know you're scared..." He gestured to the armchair and Ennis sat down, not looking at him but at the floor. He did not want to do this. "Tell me what you're thinking, Ennis...you're scaring me..."

Ennis paused before starting to speak. "What happened earlier...it made me realise what a big risk this is. And maybe I should've thought about that before letting myself fall in love with you, but I really liked you and didn't want to lose you. And...I honestly thought I could handle it. But the thing is...I can handle you being positive, because it's just how it is. But...I don't think I can handle the fact that...that being with you puts me at risk."

Jack's heart sank and he blinked back tears, knowing what Ennis was saying. "I don't know what to say...I'm sorry..."

"Yeah..." He then met Jack's eyes, knowing it was too late to take these words back now. "I think...I need to be by myself for a while. I need to think properly about this and not let my feelings for you distract me. I...I have to ask myself if I can really be with someone who's a risk." He felt a lump in his throat but carried on. "I'm sorry if that sounds bad, Jack...but I can't help it. I can't stay here with you...and I can't move in without figuring this out."

They stared at each other, their minds screaming at them not to give up, to stay together. They had been so strong, and now they were falling apart. Both of them were in shock at how quickly things had deteriorated.

"I see," Jack whispered, feeling just as miserable as he had several months ago when he'd first arrived in the city. He'd said that if the time came when he would have to give Ennis up for his own good, he would be okay with it. But now that the time had come, he was far from okay. He hadn't expected to fall so deeply in love with Ennis. "God, Ennis...I never saw this coming."

"Me neither," Ennis admitted. "I thought we'd be together forever no matter what, like in a movie or something. Like all those love songs we listened to together, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Jack reminisced with a slight smile. "We used to stay up late at night sometimes, just listening to the radio and all those old songs..." A lump was growing in his own throat at remembering those good times he'd shared with Ennis. There would be no more of those. "So...you're definitely leaving me?"

"Reckon so," Ennis murmured, hating the prospect. "I'll try to figure out a way to deal with it, but...I don't know if I can. I don't wanna leave you, Jack...but I can't do this right now. I need to be on my own."

"I understand," Jack replied, holding his head up and trying to put on a brave face. "You need to put yourself first. I wouldn't want you to feel like you have to stay with me when it's such a struggle. I've only ever wanted you to be happy...and I still do." Jack knew there and then that if he were to see Ennis with someone else, he would be packing up and going back to New York. He just couldn't bear that.

"I want you to be happy too," Ennis told him sincerely, thinking that he would be leaving if he saw Jack with someone else. They were half-lying through their teeth, but they had to make the best of this bad situation. "So, um...about my things..."

"You don't have to get them out tonight," Jack said, shaking his head. "Just keep the key until you get chance to move them. Tell you what...I'll have lunch at the coffee place tomorrow and be out of the way. You can shift your stuff then if you want."

Ennis nodded. "Thanks. So, um...you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." They stood up and Ennis sighed, heart heavy.

"I'm sorry about this, Jack..." he said earnestly, seeing for himself how hurt his lover was.

"I'm sorry, too..." Jack replied, and Ennis finally crossed the gap between them. He took Jack into his arms for a desperate embrace, burying his nose in Jack's hair and never wanting to let go of him. Jack blinked back tears and closed his eyes. "I love you, Ennis..."

"I love you too. So, um...what now?"

"I'll walk you down to your car," Jack told him, wanting to get as much out of these last few moments as he could. "Wanna say goodbye..."

Ennis nodded and pulled back, looking down at him. Not caring that it would make it even harder to say goodbye to Jack, he leaned in and kissed him, long and slow. Jack kissed back with everything he had, trying to tell Ennis without words how much he loved him and would miss him. It was all over, without warning, and now they had to find a way to carry on without each other.

* * *

The pair of them were reluctant to let go of each other, but eventually did, knowing that it wouldn't change anything. This was how the dice had rolled, and now they had to deal with it, even if it meant they never recovered from the pain of letting each other go.

Ennis cupped Jack's cheek after breaking from the kiss, seeing the despair in Jack's eyes and hating himself for putting it there. He swallowed and stepped back, unsure of what to do now.

"Well...better get going..."

Jack nodded. "Right..." He followed Ennis out of the apartment, choking down the urge to tell him to stay. He knew that if this was what Ennis wanted, he would let him have it. He couldn't deny Ennis the chance to back out if he thought it was for the best; he loved Ennis too much to force him to stay.

They walked down through the building, both of them with their heads down and their hearts heavy. When they left the building and crossed the road to Ennis's car, Lureen caught sight of them from her apartment and watched them, wondering what was going on. As far as she knew, they were supposed to be spending nights here, what with Ennis moving in.

She watched as Jack turned to Ennis, rubbing his arm. "So, um...you take care, okay?"

"Yeah, you too," Ennis replied, hoping that he really was doing the right thing. "I, uh...I guess I'll see you around..." Jack nodded and his lip trembled.

"Gonna miss you," he choked out, not caring if he sounded weak. Ennis took him in his arms for one last embrace, and they clutched at each other tightly. Lureen frowned, wondering why they weren't spending the night in the same place. They'd done that every night since getting together.

Ennis and Jack prised themselves away, and looked at each other. "I'm sorry about this, Jack..."

He shook his head, trying to appear brave. "Don't be. I told you right from the start, Ennis...that if there ever came a time when it was too much for you, and you wanted out...that I would let you go. No apologies and no hard feelings, okay?"

"I remember," Ennis said quietly. "I just hoped it wouldn't happen."

"Me too..." Ennis opened his car door and sighed, looking over Jack one last time. This was the man who he would always see in his dreams, even if he never saw him in his waking moments ever again.

"Take care, bud."

"You too." Jack watched helplessly as Ennis got in, fighting the urge to drag him out of the car and back upstairs. Lureen could sense that something was very wrong right now, and she left her apartment.

She got outside in time to see Ennis driving off, leaving Jack to stare after him. When Ennis rounded the corner and disappeared from sight, Jack turned to see her watching him. She walked up to him and saw his lip was trembling. "Jack?"

"He left me," Jack said quietly, voice shaky.

"Why?" She couldn't believe it; things had been going so well for them and it didn't make sense.

"We...we were having sex and...the condom broke..." he admitted, not caring about the graphical details right now. "He freaked out and decided that he needed to leave, be on his own to figure out if he could really do this." He sniffed and coughed, looking back at where Ennis had driven off.

"Oh, Jack..." she sighed, seeing him wipe his eyes. "Come on inside..." She led him back up to his apartment, sitting him down on the sofa and sitting next to him. "I can't believe it...you just let him go?"

"He was scared," Jack told her. "He said he's only just realising what a risk it is to be with me, and...that he needs to figure out if he's prepared to take that risk, before we move in together. But...I don't think we ever will. Not after this..."

Lureen sighed and put an arm around him. "I honestly thought you two were gonna make it, no matter what. You've been through so much already...and you were so strong. And you came so close to living together. I know you made each other happy..."

"Yeah, we did," Jack admitted, thinking of how he felt whenever Ennis smiled at him, or whispered sweet words in his ear, or held him close like he was the most precious thing in the world. All of that was gone now, and Jack didn't think he would find a love like that ever again. Ennis just couldn't be replaced in his heart, and never would be, even if it meant he never loved again. "I love him so much, Lu...and now he's gone..."

"So that's it?" she asked softly. "There's definitely no way back for you guys?"

"I don't think so," he replied, head falling into his hands.

Ennis entered his silent apartment and felt his heart sink even further. This would be the first night in months that he and Jack hadn't spent together, and he wasn't looking forward to going to bed alone. He simply locked the door and headed to his bedroom, feeling like he'd left a piece of his heart behind.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and started at the wall, wondering what to do now. On the one hand, he truly did feel like he needed some space, to think over what had happened. But on the other, he felt terrible and would never forget the heartbroken look on Jack's face as he'd left.

Neither of them got much sleep that night, awaking now and then to reach out for one another and finding nothing but an empty bed. Both ended up moving over to try and catch the scent that might be there; a reminder of the one they loved, and would always love even if they never saw each other again. Their hearts had been united forever and that was the one thing that could never be taken from them.


	28. Chapter 28

_Author's notes_

_Okay guys, an even bigger warning for this chapter. Tread carefully as you get nearer the end, and please don't throw things at me!_

_Kathryn_

* * *

**Chapter 28**

_February 23rd, 2010_

The next day, neither Ennis nor Jack felt like getting up and going to work, but they knew that they had to try and find a way to carry on, to try and get used to being without each other.

Jack was completely heartbroken that Ennis had left him, even though he knew that Ennis hadn't really wanted to do it. He'd started to build his entire life around Ennis, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now he was alone. How could he go back to that lonely existence after so many months of being so close and intimate with someone else, someone who had not only been his lover, but also his best friend?

He was trying his best to perform that morning, to produce sperm like he was supposed to, but it was a real effort when his heart was so torn. He got hard enough to do the job, but it was weak and he hadn't enjoyed it at all. He sat in a chair in the staff lounge, trying to read a magazine and not think about Ennis. But it was difficult; he thought about Ennis all the time and he was still used to that.

"Jack?" asked the doctor, shaking him from his thoughts.

"Oh, hey," he said distractedly, looking up.

"What's wrong?" Joe asked, looking at him with concern and sitting down. Jack sighed.

"Ennis and me...we broke up." Joe's eyes widened.

"Oh God...how come?"

"Well...we were...having sex last night, and...the condom broke. He completely freaked out..."

"Really? I thought he was okay with all this...about you being positive..."

"He is, it's just...I don't think he really thought about how being with me is a risk. And last night, I think it hit home that I could infect him if that sort of thing happens. I let him leave, told him it was okay. He said he needed to be alone and think about whether or not he can do this, especially if we live together. I asked him, a while back, if he would still love me even if I infected him, and he said he would. So I guess that last night just hit him funny, and he needs to think it over."

"I'm sorry, Jack...are you okay?" Joe asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll be fine...just gonna be hard to be without him, you know?" Jack sighed, leaning back into the chair. "Didn't get much sleep last night...and this morning wasn't easy..."

"I bet. Look...do you want to cancel your talk this afternoon? I can just tell people you're not feeling well..."

Jack shook his head. "No, it's fine. I have to try and carry on. Thanks anyway." He gave a half-smile and Joe nodded. He got up and left the room, sensing that Jack needed to be alone right now.

After he'd gone, Jack curled up in the chair and stared at the wall. He knew he would have to have lunch at the coffeehouse today, so that Ennis could pick up his boxes, probably with Alma's help. Jack just didn't want to be there for that.

Over at the vet's, Ennis too was struggling as he sorted out paperwork, trying to keep focused on his task and steering his mind away from blue eyes and dark hair and that hard muscled body.

But more than anything, he missed Jack's sweet voice; that warm breath in his ear when Jack whispered to him in bed, the adoring words Jack said to him when they were alone. He missed everything about Jack, and tried to convince himself that this was for the best.

There was a knock on the door, and Sarah the receptionist came in. "Hey, they want these sorting, too," she said to him, smiling a little. He'd been looking distracted all day.

"Right," Ennis replied, nodding as she put them on the desk.

"Are you okay?" she asked, tilting her head. He sighed.

"No...Jack and I split up," he admitted. Her eyes widened.

"Really? Why?"

"Just...you know...something went wrong," he said, looking at her meaningfully. She nodded, figuring out what he was saying.

"Wow...so how are you doing?"

"I'll be honest...I really miss him. But I need time on my own, to figure out if I can handle the fact that he could infect me...I don't know if I can..."

"Ennis...I thought you were okay with knowing that," she said to him, sounding confused. "Was it just...hypothetical?"

"I don't think so...I guess I honestly thought I could, but I never thought I'd have to because we always use protection. I just never considered that it might go wrong like that...should've thought about that before now...before I let myself fall in love with him..."

"I guess," she acknowledged. "But if you had...what then? Would you have stayed away, or would you have gone for it anyway?"

Ennis thought about it, and knew right away. He would have gone after Jack anyway, because he'd really liked him at that time. And even if they never got back together, he would never regret allowing himself to have a relationship with Jack. They'd only been together for about six months, but he would always cherish the moments they'd had together.

"Guess I would've gone for it anyway," he admitted. "But...I still need to think this over. I was too scared to stay there last night, needed space. And he let me go because he knew it wouldn't be fair to make me stay. That's the great thing about him...he put my feelings first, just like I put his first. I'm always gonna love him..."

Sarah nodded. "I know you will. Anyway...I'll leave you to it." She left the room and Ennis dug out his cell phone, scrolling through the names until he reached Jack's. His finger hovered over the call button, but he snapped out of it and put his phone away. Calling Jack now wouldn't help. He had to get his boxes out of Jack's place and back to his own, and it would be hard enough without hearing Jack's voice ringing in his ears.

* * *

At lunch, Jack went to the coffeehouse like he'd planned. He knew that Ennis would be picking up his stuff at his place right about now, and he just didn't want to be around when that happened. Jack didn't think that he could handle seeing Ennis right now.

Not wanting to sit in the booth that he and Ennis had adopted as theirs, he sat at the counter and stared at his coffee, as if it held all the answers. Lureen kept looking at him and shook her head. She could understand Ennis's fear after what happened, but as far as she was concerned he didn't have to leave. She could remember when Ennis had first found out that Jack was positive, how he had left that night and arranged to meet Jack the next morning, and wondered why they couldn't have just done that this time. She had half a mind to go over there and tell him off.

But instead, she attended to her friend first; he needed her more. "Hey," she said softly, standing in front of him. He looked up at her and tried to smile, with little success. "Guess you're still not feeling too great, huh?"

"Not really," he admitted, picturing in his mind Ennis going for the boxes in the corner and bringing them back to his apartment. Did Ennis even care how much this hurt?

"He probably didn't wanna hurt you," Lureen told him, as if she could read his mind. "Fear can make people do crazy things."

"I know...and I realise that he never wanted to hurt me, but...it's just hard. I've spent most of my days since August with him, sometimes all day when we weren't working. I don't know if I can get used to this." He pulled out his keys and found the key ring that Ennis had given him for Valentine's. It had only been just over a week ago; he could still remember that romantic dinner.

He looked at the picture of them, looking so happy and in love, and blinked back tears. Turning it over, he once more looked at the simple inscription. _I love you._

"Shit," he muttered, wiping his eyes with his thumb. "This is stupid...I'm the one who let him go...I said it was okay. So why does it feel like someone stabbed me in the chest?"

"Because it's not okay," Lureen told him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You miss him and obviously still love him, and the pain is still very raw. I know it's gonna be hard, Jack...but you just have to find a way to cope."

"I don't know if I can...I was building my whole life around him...and now he's not even in it anymore. He's the love of my life, Lu...I don't know what to do now. I thought that me and him...that it'd be a forever kind of thing. Like in songs and movies..."

"I think we all did," she told him. "When you guys got together...I was sure that you would last forever."

Jack nodded, his mind travelling against his will to his apartment, where Ennis would be right now.

Down the road, Ennis and Alma entered Jack's place and Ennis looked around, remembering last night. It had been the worst night of his life and even now, he was still trying to convince himself that he'd done the right thing.

He sighed and went for the boxes in the corner. "Guess we'd better get this over with."

Alma watched him sadly, knowing how much he must be hurting inside. She had genuinely been happy for him and Jack, even when they had announced they were moving in together. While it hadn't always been easy, she had recently become distracted by the guy she was now seeing, which had made it easier to be happy for her ex. And to see him heartbroken like this was making her both sad and a little confused.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked. "I mean...can't you guys work this out?"

Ennis shook his head. "I don't know...I just need to do some thinking, and not let my feelings for Jack cloud my judgement." He picked up a couple of boxes and she took the rest; there weren't many and they were only light anyway. They got them into his car and Ennis looked down at the key Jack had given him. "Better leave this for him..." She nodded and watched him go back inside, looking like a man who'd lost everything.

He entered the apartment one last time and looked around, seeing Jack's imprint everywhere. Finding a blank crumpled-up piece of paper, he moved to put it in the bin and saw the remainder of the pizza they'd had for dinner the night before. Ennis choked down the lump in his throat and left the kitchen. If he thought hard enough, he could almost see Jack himself around the living room; putting the TV or radio on, sitting on the sofa and waiting for Ennis to join him...something that they could have had full-time if he wasn't such a coward. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the book of love coupons Jack had given him for Valentine's. A lot of them had been used, even though it had only been just over a week.

Ennis reached the back of the book and paused. He'd never seen the last coupon before. _A ticket to a long and happy life together with the man you love with all your heart. _He felt tears starting to trickle down his cheeks and snapped the book shut, wiping them irritably.

He stopped at the doorway, looking around and thinking of Jack, whom he would always love no matter what. With one last glance at the bedroom door, he stepped out and locked the door, slipping the key underneath for Jack to find later. He felt as if he was saying goodbye to more than just Jack, but also to a piece of his heart that Jack would always hold.

* * *

_February 25th, 2010_

On Thursday, Jack was half-heartedly eating a dinner of chicken soup, not having the energy to prepare much else. He hadn't heard a thing from Ennis, but they had awkwardly run into each other at lunch earlier today. He'd been entering the coffeehouse just as Ennis was leaving, and the exchange had been brief.

"_Oh, hey," Ennis said in surprise, stepping back to let Jack in past him, unable to meet his eyes for long. _

"_Hi," Jack responded, yearning to grab Ennis and kiss him for all he was worth. "Um...you okay?"_

"_I guess. I gotta get back...said I'd work during lunch today." Ennis was mumbling; a habit Jack recognised as when Ennis was unsure of himself. _

"_Right. Take care, then."_

"_Yeah, you too." Ennis left and Jack stared after him, fighting the urge to yell after him. Or better yet, to drag him back to his place to talk this whole thing through._

Now, he was feeling heartbroken all over again. He'd seen the longing in Ennis's eyes, the same yearn to grab on and never let go, but he'd still seemed guarded. Ennis hadn't made any mention of his "thinking things over", and Jack was starting to lose hope that they would ever get back together.

Lureen had invited him to come and watch a movie at her place after dinner if he wanted, and he was starting to think that it was a good idea. He didn't want to be alone all night; it was bad enough that he had to sleep alone.

He was supposed to be going to New York this weekend to see his parents, as he and Ennis had been doing for the past few weeks. But he just didn't feel up to it, not on his own, and he knew he would have to call soon to let them know, and to tell them why he wouldn't be coming. He was dreading that.

Stepping into the apartment two days ago to find the key on the floor was particularly hard for him. It meant that Ennis had been here, and had taken his things away, back to his own place. Jack barely got any sleep that night, even when he moved onto Ennis's side of the bed. He didn't want to wash the sheets just yet; Ennis's scent was still there and he wasn't ready to let go of that yet.

During the last two mornings, as he'd been taking his meds, he'd spread them all out on his bed and had thoughts of ending his pain, but had always put them back again; that wasn't the answer and he knew it. It would hurt his parents if he did that, but there was another reason why he would never do it. If Ennis found out about it and realised it was due to their breakup, he would never forgive himself. No matter how much Jack was hurting right now, he still didn't want Ennis to feel guilty if anything happened to him. He loved Ennis too much to do that, and he didn't really want to die anyway. He would never truly give up hope that they would find a way back to each other.

Jack sighed and put down the spoon, unable to eat any more of it. He sent a message to Lureen to let her know he was coming over and then dialled the house on Long Island, dreading what his mother might say.

"Hello, Karen Twist."

"Mom, it's me," he said, choking down the lump in his throat.

"Hey, sweetie. You guys ready to come over here?"

"Um...we can't make it this weekend."

"Really? Why?" she asked in concern. "Is everything okay?"

"No...we broke up." His voice cracked at the end and he chastised himself for not being stronger. "Three days ago."

"Oh, Jack...that's awful! What happened?"

"Something...went wrong the other night. The...the protection broke. I didn't infect him, but...he freaked out. He said he needed to spend time alone and figure out if he can really do this...be with someone like me. But I haven't heard from him since..."

"I'm so sorry, honey...are you okay?"

"No...I really miss him," Jack admitted, trying not to break down. He would not do that over the phone, not even to his mother. "I saw him today and we barely spoke...it's been awful. I can't concentrate at work and I could get fired if I can't deliver, you know?"

"I'm sure that won't happen," his mother tried to reassure him. "Does your boss know you've broken up?"

"Yeah, and he says it's okay if I can't do it as well as I used to, but...if I can't do it at all they'll probably want to replace me with someone who can."

"Try not to worry, Jack. What are you planning for tonight?"

"I'm going over to Lureen's, just don't wanna be alone. And...I'm not feeling too great, to be honest." It was true; he'd had stomach ache all day and it hadn't really shifted.

"You be careful, honey. You know you can't afford to just dismiss stuff like that. If it gets bad, go and see your doctor."

"I will," he promised her. He'd been thinking the same thing.

"Good. You know, Jack...if it gets too hard to live there around him now you're not together...you're more than welcome to come back here."

"I...I'll think about it." He just wasn't sure about that right now. Even though he and Ennis weren't together, he wasn't ready to just up and leave yet. He was holding onto the hope that Ennis would see sense and want to start over with him. "Anyway...I'm gonna go. Give my best to dad, alright? And I'll see you maybe next weekend."

"Alright, Jack. Take care of yourself."

"Yep, you too. Bye."

"Bye, sweetheart." They clicked off and Jack sighed, mind spinning. He just wasn't sure what to do right now. He could only think of one thing; maybe Lureen would have some alcohol he could drown his sorrows in.

* * *

Sure enough, Lureen had a bottle of wine open and ready when he arrived. "Figured you could use some," she said to him with a sympathetic look. He nodded and made his way inside.

"Got that right," he replied as he sat down on the sofa, Lureen next to him. "Just couldn't stay at my place any longer. It's bad enough that I'll be sleeping alone in there later."

She nodded, pouring them both a glass. "I know. What took you so long, anyway?"

"Had to call my mom, tell her I won't be going over there this weekend. I'm just not up to it and I'd rather stay here anyway. Told her we broke up and she was all sympathetic. I know she means well, but...I don't want a big fuss. This...this is for the best and I'm just gonna have to learn to deal with that."

Lureen sighed to herself. "I sure wish you guys could work it out...I hate seeing you apart."

"I don't like it much either...but this is the way it is now. I guess you were watching today?"

"I was," she admitted. "I thought that if you guys came face to face, you might remember how much you love each other, and that it might be enough to reconcile you."

"I could see it in his eyes, Lu," Jack told her, remembering. "He still loves me and I could see he wanted to say something, but he held back. Didn't say all the things I hoped he would." He shook his head. "I thought that maybe we could get back together if we just talked, but...after today...I don't think it'll ever happen. It's pretty clear that even if he wants to, that it's not gonna happen."

"So what now?" she asked softly, touching his arm. Jack shrugged.

"Don't know. When I told my mom, she said I could go back there if I wanted to, stay with them for a while."

"Are you gonna do it?"

"I don't know. On the one hand...it would probably be the smart thing to do, right? To distance myself from all of this, and to stop holding onto hope for something that'll never happen. But on the other...I don't think I'm ready to leave. I might not fully believe that things will work out for us, but...I'm still hoping, really. Today was really bad, seeing him like that..."

Jack pulled out his keys and looked at the key ring, at the picture of the two of them. Frozen in time, so happy in love without any inclination of what was soon to happen to them. "I miss him so much...and when I saw him today, it actually hurt. Right here..." He pointed to his gut. "Felt like I'd been kicked there and...it was horrible."

"I know. When I saw you guys there, I thought that something might happen. That you might get pulled towards each other and kiss, unable to hold back. But...guess that didn't really work out. Are you really gonna just give up, just like that?"

Jack rubbed his forehead. "Can't think of anything else to do. He had the chance to tell me he wanted to work things out, but he didn't do it. So...I don't see that there's any other chance for us..."

"So what are you gonna do?" she repeated, looking at him closely.

He looked down at the key ring and thought about his mother's offer. It was very tempting to just give in, pack up and leave. But he knew it would involve saying goodbye to Ennis, and what if he caved and ended up staying, living with a broken heart? He couldn't just leave without saying goodbye, though. That would just be cruel and he at least owed Ennis something before he left. Staying here, where they both lived, wouldn't be good for him. He would still see Ennis a lot of the time, and what if he moved on and found someone else? Jack would have to see it, and he knew that he would never be ready for something like that.

There was really only one option; to leave, go back to New York and try to get over Ennis. It wouldn't be easy, but it wouldn't be as hard as staying here.

He sighed to himself. "I think I'm gonna go back home," he said quietly. "I can't stay here, especially if he finds someone else. So it's just easier to leave."

Lureen nodded. "When are you going?"

"Well...I can't afford to buy a last-minute ticket, so...I'll give it another week, I guess. Fly out next Saturday. It'll give me time to sort everything out."

He got up, intending to use the bathroom and try to get rid of his nagging stomach ache. It had been bothering him for a while now and he would definitely be going to see his doctor tomorrow. Hopefully he would know what was wrong, and Jack hoped that it wasn't serious. That was the last thing that he needed right now.

He made it only a few steps before a sharp pain ripped through him, making him double over. He groaned and fell to his knees. Lureen looked around in alarm and rushed to him, concern on her face.

"Jack? What's wrong?" she asked, eyes wide and skin white as a sheet. He could barely speak, was using all of his energy to breathe.

"Don't know...had stomach ache all day...sharp pain just now," he choked out, seeing lights flashing before his eyes. He groaned again and keeled over, unconscious.

Lureen, panic running through her, went for her cell to call 911 and hopefully get an ambulance here soon. She would call Ennis as soon as she knew something; he deserved to know regardless of what was going on with them.

As Jack drifted through darkness, he thought about Ennis and all the things he wanted to say to him. He figured that Ennis would never know them now, and was filled with regret that they hadn't seen each other one last time before one of them left.

* * *

Lureen tried not to panic as she rode in the ambulance with Jack, who was still unconscious. It wasn't too clear what was going on, but it made sense that it was connected to the stomach ache Jack had had all day. Something was wrong with him, probably to do with his HIV, and she was terrified for him.

They reached the hospital and Jack's doctor Rick was already there. He told her not to worry before heading through the doors after the group. Lureen sat down in the plastic chairs to wait, turning her phone over and over in her hand. She also had Jack's apartment key with her just in case it was needed, as well as his phone.

She knew she would have to call Ennis, but decided to wait until she had something concrete to tell him. Ennis would feel bad enough about the past week in the light of what was happening now, but it would be even worse if he was left waiting and wondering whether or not Jack would die. She didn't want him panicking too.

She waited for what felt like days, until it was almost ten and the sky outside was pitch black. Ennis was probably headed for bed right about now, but she knew he kept his cell phone on the nightstand for emergencies. Maybe now, they could reconcile; Ennis would likely think twice about what he was doing, like a huge slap in the face and a dose of reality.

At last, Rick reappeared and she stood up, not caring how dishevelled she must look. "What's going on?"

He sighed. "It's not good, Lureen. He has acute pancreatitis, caused by the Videx in his HIV medication. His body was starting to react badly to it earlier today, which caused the stomach aches you described to the paramedics."

Lureen paled. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"I don't know. We've got him on saline and off his meds, which should help. He's got a high temperature and we need to get it down. Luckily, his immune system appears to be doing its best to protect him, and we're keeping a close eye on him." Rick paused. "Look...I know he and Ennis broke up, but...I think Ennis needs to be here. There's nothing he can do, but..."

"I know," she replied, nodding. "I was gonna call him anyway."

"Good. Make sure to get him here as soon as possible. And I'll make sure he's allowed to stay in Jack's room through the night; it'll be for his own good."

"Okay. I'll call him and tomorrow I'll call Jack's work to tell them he won't be coming in. I'll call his parents, too. I know Ennis could do all that, but...he needs to focus on Jack, not get distracted by everything else."

Rick nodded his approval and went back through the doors, leaving her to sink back down into the chair. She sighed and opened her phone, scrolling through for Ennis's number.

Ennis was sleeping, dreaming of a blue-eyed, dark-haired man that he'd loved and lost. The dream was warm and full of love as he felt Jack all around him.

The phone ringing on the nightstand shook him from his peaceful sleep, and he mumbled to himself as he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Ennis, it's Lureen." She sounded upset but Ennis's brain wasn't focusing just yet.

"Oh, hey...what's up?"

"It's Jack. He's in the hospital."

Ennis sat bolt upright in bed, waking up properly and starting to feel his heartbeat quickening. "What? What's wrong with him?"

"He's been having stomach aches all day, and he was at my place a few hours ago. He got up to use the bathroom and he collapsed. We're at the hospital now, and his doctor says it's acute pancreatitis, brought on by one of his meds. You've gotta get here, Ennis...he's unconscious..."

Fear flooded Ennis and he nodded, starting to panic. "I'll be right there." He hung up and sprung out of bed, thankful that he'd showered that evening. Quickly throwing his clothes back on, he dashed around the room and gathered up an overnight bag, fully intending to stay by Jack's side as much as he could. He grabbed some food from the kitchen and headed out, thoughts buzzing around his head. Most of them were angry thoughts at himself for being such a coward.

He'd thought that he and Jack were apart for a good reason, for their own good, but only now was he realising how wrong he'd been. There was no reason good enough for them to not be together. They still loved each other and Ennis wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together. However much time Jack had left in this world, Ennis wanted it to be spent with him, if Jack would forgive him and take him back. He knew what he wanted now; to be with Jack. And he would learn to deal with the other stuff; Jack was worth it. He _could_ do this after all.

While he was still scared of being infected with HIV, that fear was nothing compared to the fear he felt now, thinking of Jack in a hospital bed, possibly dying there without him. All that mattered now was getting to Jack and staying there until he was sure that Jack would be okay. He wanted to see Jack's eyes once more, and hear his voice.

But more than anything, he wanted to tell Jack how sorry he was and how stupid he'd been. He'd made the biggest mistake in his entire life by leaving Jack, and he was determined to rectify it. He knew he would regret it if he wasn't there and Jack took a turn for the worst.

Ennis didn't know what might happen tomorrow or next week. He didn't even know if there might still be a future for them. But one thing was crystal clear to him; if Jack died tonight, then Ennis would be by his side where he belonged.


	29. Chapter 29

_Author's notes_

_Hey guys! This is the last full chapter of the story, but I will be posting the epilogue tomorrow. And don't forget, the first chapter of my new story, A Place To Call Home, will be posted on Monday._

_Happy reading!_

_Kathryn xxx_

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Ennis tried not to break the speed limit as he headed for the hospital, but it was an effort considering what was going through his mind and how worried he was. He prayed with all his heart to whoever might be listening that Jack would be okay, or at the very least that he would get a chance to say goodbye and tell Jack he would always love him.

He promised himself there and then that if, by some miracle, Jack did pull through, that he would never put him through anything like the past few days ever again. He would never walk away, and would never break Jack's heart again. Being separated, even for just a few days, had clearly torn through both of them and Ennis was unwilling to experience it again. He just had to tell Jack how sorry he was.

When he finally reached the hospital, he quickly found a parking space and rushed inside, hoping to find someone he knew. Lureen was in the waiting area, looking like she hadn't slept in days. "Lureen!"

She looked up as he approached and let out a cry of relief, springing up and hugging him. "Thank God you're here," she said, clearly close to tears. "It's been awful..."

"Where's Jack?" Ennis asked immediately, and she pulled away.

"Upstairs, I'll take you there." He willingly followed her, completely forgetting about the elevator and choosing to run up the stairs instead. Up on the third floor, Lureen led him to Jack's room just as his doctor exited it.

"Ennis, good to see you. Lureen said she'd get you here."

"What's going on?" Ennis demanded, trying with all his might to not just barge past Rick into the room. He wanted to be prepared for what he might see.

"As Lureen probably told you, Jack has acute pancreatitis, brought on by the Videx in his HIV medication. It seems that his body started reacting badly to it, which was causing his stomach aches earlier today. And his enzyme elevation is quite high, needs to be brought down."

"Is he gonna be okay?" Ennis asked uneasily, trying not to feel sick. Rick bit his lip.

"I'm...cautiously optimistic. He's on an IV and saline, and we're keeping a close eye on him. He's off his meds right now while we try and figure out how to fix this. He's still unconscious but he could wake up at any time."

Ennis nodded. "Can I see him?"

"Sure, he's right in here. I know you two broke up, but...I'll make sure the other doctors know that you're to be treated as family. You'll be able to stay in his room tonight, but we only have a chair in there. I'll have someone bring you a pillow and blanket."

"Thanks, Rick." Ennis nodded and headed into the room, bracing himself for what he might see.

Jack was laying there, black hair standing out against the white pillow, skin a little pale. Ennis felt his stomach churning as he walked over and sat down in the chair, pulling it up close so he could take Jack's hand. It was warm and familiar, and he'd missed this immensely.

"Darlin'...I missed you so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't there when this happened, but...I'm here now, and I'm gonna take care of you as much as I can. When you get out of here...I'm gonna be there. I'll look after you..."

He kissed Jack's hand, gazing at the beloved face that he'd seen in his dreams, wishing that Jack would wake up.

It occurred to Ennis then just how strongly he felt about Jack. Seeing him lying there, not even conscious, gave Ennis the opportunity to think about that. Jack was his soul mate, and had been even when they were apart. He'd seen Jack in his dreams every night since they broke up, and no force on earth could have stopped what he felt for the man. Their love was like a force of nature, and Ennis was determined to fix his mistake.

There was a knock on the door and Lureen came in, carrying a blanket and pillow. "Here. I said I'd bring these in for you." Ennis nodded in thanks and she placed them on the floor by the chair. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. I just wish he'd wake up..."

"I know. The thing is, Ennis...he never stopped loving you. When he was at my place, he was talking about moving back to New York." At Ennis's look of hurt, she carried on quickly. "But only because he was hurting so much. He thought that if he went back, it would help him get over you. But I could see in his eyes that he didn't want to get over you. And I'm sure that when he wakes up, he'd be more than willing to take you back. He never really lost hope that you would come around and ask him for another chance."

Ennis nodded. "I was an idiot and a coward. I know that now. I thought that us being apart was for the best, but...I was so wrong. The best thing for both of us is to be together. I realise that now and I wish it hadn't taken something like this to knock some sense into me."

"I don't think any of us do," she said softly, touching his shoulder. "But it's all water under the bridge now. I'm sure that Jack will be fine, and that you guys will work it out. You're Ennis and Jack...you're meant to be together and we all know it."

He smiled at her a little. "I guess. He's the love of my life...and I'm never gonna let him down again."

She nodded her approval, and then looked at her watch. "It's late...now that you're here, I'm gonna go back to my place. I'll call Jack's work and tell them he won't be coming in. You gonna call the vet's?"

"Yeah, I will. Thanks, Lu." She gave him a smile and closed the door behind her, leaving him to look at Jack's face and hold his hand.

* * *

A few hours after Lureen left, Ennis grabbed a bag of chips from his overnight bag and opened them up, suddenly ravenous after his scare. He knew that Lureen would be taking care of most things in the outside world, so that he could stay with Jack, and he was very grateful to her.

He was relieved that Jack was likely to recover from this, and he couldn't wait for Jack to wake up so they could talk. There was so much that he needed to tell Jack, and he'd been storing it all up over the past few hours.

Ennis knew exactly what he wanted to say, and he hoped it would be enough to repair some of the damage he'd caused Jack this past week. He knew he'd hurt him, and he was ashamed of himself for it. Hurting Jack was the one thing he had always promised he would never do, and he'd gone and done it. Ennis knew in his heart that even if Jack forgave him for it, he might never forgive himself.

As he sat there, holding Jack's hand with one of his and eating with the other, he couldn't help but think about the future. Assuming that Jack did forgive him and they got back together, then what? Would he still be allowed to move in? Where would they live?

Thinking it over, he knew a few things. Jack would need to be close to a hospital, regardless of where they lived. It was just too much to hope for that this would never happen again, and he wanted to be sure that Jack remained close to medical help when he needed it. Ennis would move to another country entirely if it was what Jack needed.

Also, he thought about his own concerns. It was clear to him that while he loved Jack and was prepared to see this through, he would need some help. Maybe there was some kind of counselling for people in magnetic relationships, someone who could help them deal with the realities of it and the very real possibility of infection.

Ennis looked at Jack's face and sighed to himself. He still loved Jack so much, and knew that he always would. Jack being positive had never changed how Ennis felt about him, and this time apart hadn't changed anything, either. Ennis knew in his heart that Jack needed him, now more than ever, and how on earth could he walk away from that? He needed Jack just as much.

There was one other thing that he thought on as he looked at his beloved Jack; his fear of being infected, the fear that had driven him away. As he thought about it, the more rational his thoughts became. So what if he got infected? It wasn't as though he would drop dead there and then. And yes, there was the possibility he could end up where Jack was now, but for all he knew it might be a rare occurrence. He could still live for a number of years without getting sick, and they could both live without either one of them getting AIDS. People still died from the virus, he knew that, but with the advances in drugs the number was shrinking.

With all of this in mind, Ennis decided on something. If he was destined to become positive, if getting HIV was going to happen at some point in his life, then he would rather it was from Jack than any other source. He didn't want to be infected, but if it happened then he would have to deal with it. And if he had Jack by his side, at least he would be with someone who could help him through it; someone who loved and cared about him. That alone was enough to relax his mind and simmer down his fears.

He smiled to himself a little. "Guess I was all worked up for nothing, bud. I'm so sorry, Jack..." He leaned forward and clasped Jack's hand tightly. "I'm sorry I walked away and hurt you like that. I was such a coward...making the biggest mistake of my life."

Ennis paused for a moment, thinking. He'd heard that when people were unconscious, they could still hear when someone talked to them, especially someone they had a strong bond with. "Jack...I never should've left that night. I should've stuck around and talked about it, let you calm me down. But I didn't...and I'll always regret that. The thing is, darlin'...you've always been braver than me. Right from the beginning, I've admired how brave you are. I think...I think I'd be okay with having HIV as long as I had you with me, but I'd never be as brave about it as you."

He started to stroke Jack's hand, and looked up at the clock. It was now almost two in the morning. "I love you, Jack...please wake up. I wanna tell you how sorry I am, and that I wanna start over. I...I'd still love to move in, if you'll have me. I wish we could get married, so you'd know how much I love you. But if just living together is all we're ever gonna have, I'd settle for that. I'd be happy with anything you can give me, just as long as you love me and let me stay in your life. I promise, I'll never hurt you again."

Ennis lowered his head, squeezing Jack's hand ever tighter. He almost jumped a foot in the air when a voice came out of nowhere, breaking the silence.

"Gonna hurt my hand if you squeeze it any tighter, bud," came the soft whisper, tinged with amusement. He looked up and thought he was hallucinating.

Jack was smiling at him, bright blue eyes looking at him with warmth and love, just like he remembered. And Ennis could feel him squeezing back.

* * *

Ennis couldn't believe it; Jack was awake. "Jack?"

"Hey, you," Jack said softly, heart soaring at the fact that Ennis was here, by his side. "You sure are a sight for sore eyes."

He continued to smile at Ennis, who couldn't help but return it. "Glad you're awake, bud..."

"What happened?" Jack asked, looking around and seeing the IV drip he was hooked up to.

"You remember being at Lureen's place? You collapsed and she got the paramedics to bring you here. You've had acute pancreatitis, Jack. It was caused by that Videx stuff...you remember, the one that Darren saw when he figured out you're positive?"

"Oh, yeah..." Jack replied, remembering. "That stuff's been more trouble than it's worth." He looked at Ennis, who was still holding his hand. "I'm glad you're here."

"Lureen called me; told me what happened. I've been here for a few hours." Ennis swallowed. "Jack...I'm so sorry for everything..."

"Ennis..."

"No, I've gotta say this. I was an idiot to walk away from you. I thought it was for the best, but...seeing you like this, I know now that us being together is the best thing for both of us. I was a coward..."

Jack squeezed his hand. "You were scared...I understand. I told you it was okay if you wanted space."

"But...I broke your heart," Ennis told him, knowing it was true. "I don't know how you can bear to look at me right now."

"Because I still love you," Jack told him earnestly. "I never stopped loving you, and I never gave up hope that we would get back together."

"Lureen told me you were thinking of moving back to New York," Ennis said quietly, hoping to keep the hurt out of his voice. Jack lifted Ennis's chin with his free hand.

"I only thought about it because I felt so alone. I always hoped that things would work out for us, but by then I'd stopped believing that it would. I thought that I might see you with someone else, and that would have been the thing to make me really want to leave here. So...I didn't wanna get over you, but I thought I would have to."

Ennis nodded. "I'm sorry I put you through all of that...I've missed you so much these past few days. Kept dreaming about you...that we were still together. When I woke up and saw you weren't there...it hurt so much and I knew it was all my fault."

"Baby..." Jack sighed, stroking Ennis's hand with his thumb. "I was never angry with you for it. I was just upset. And...I do still love you."

"I love you too," Ennis told him, looking into his eyes. "Jack...is there any chance we could get back together? Is there a future for us?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I was gonna ask the same thing. But yeah...I reckon there's still a good chance for us. And if we both wanna get back together so much, I think we should. I'd love to still have a future with you."

"Okay..." Ennis was relieved; Jack still loved him and was taking him back. "I swear, Jack...I won't fuck this up again. Gonna be the man you deserve..."

"Sounds good enough to me. Come up here..." Jack motioned him closer, and Ennis sat on the bed close to him. They moved into each other's arms, slowly wrapping one another close and embracing. It was warm and familiar and everything they remembered.

Ennis buried his nose in Jack's hair, welcoming the familiar scent and thanking whoever might be listening for making sure that Jack made it. He would do everything he could to make this up to Jack.

Jack made a soft purring, contented sound, running his hands up and down Ennis's back, feeling as though his heart would burst with how happy he was. "Ennis?"

"Yeah, darlin'...?" Jack pulled his face away.

"What happens now? Are you still moving in?"

"If you'll have me," Ennis replied, hope in his eyes. Jack nuzzled their noses together.

"Sure I will. But I have to ask...what if this happens again? What if another condom breaks? What if you get infected?" he asked, needing answers before anything else was agreed.

"Then we'll deal with it," Ennis told him firmly, determined to be a little braver about the prospect. "If I get it, then that's it. Nothing I can do about it, so...I'd just have to learn to live with it." He cupped Jack's face. "And I was hoping...that if it happened, I'd have someone who can help me. Someone who loves me and will be able to help me live with it."

Jack couldn't believe that Ennis's fears had simmered down just like that. "You mean that? You were so scared before..."

"Yeah, but sitting here...watching you...I got to thinking. I'm scared of being infected. Can't deny that. But...I'm more scared of losing you. So...if putting myself at risk like that is what I have to do to be with you...I'm prepared to take that risk."

The look in his eyes was enough to make Jack believe him. It was honest and sincere, and Jack finally believed that Ennis was capable of being with him. "So...you really can do this?" he asked, remembering what Ennis had said about needing to think about everything.

"Yep," Ennis said with a nod. "I finally figured it out." He smiled and pulled Jack close again, stroking his hair. He'd missed Jack so much and was more than willing to step up now. "I love you, Jack."

Jack pulled away and smiled, eyes a little watery. "I love you too." Their lips finally met in a sweet kiss, full of tenderness and love. Their promises to each other were sealed and locked away in their hearts, where they could never be harmed. As they kissed and held each other, both of them felt that there was nothing on earth that could keep them apart now. There was no obstacle that they couldn't overcome as long as they stuck together.

* * *

After Ennis and Jack were reunited, they spent the next few hours trying to get some sleep. Rick came in to check on Jack and was pleased to see him awake.

"Everything looks great, Jack," he told him as he wrote in the folder. "Your enzyme elevation's gone down and your temperature's gone. Looks like having Ennis here did you the world of good."

Jack smiled and looked over at Ennis, who was holding his hand again. "Guess so. When can I go home?"

"A couple of days, I think. We need to keep an eye on you until we're satisfied that you're healthy enough to be out of here. And when you are released, you'll be off the meds for a few months."

"Is that safe?" Ennis asked unsurely.

"Yeah, as long as he's eating properly and exercising. I want you to come here once a week for blood tests to make sure you're alright, and then after a few months you'll be put back on the meds. Your body needs a rest. And don't worry about the Videx; we got it sorted out so that it shouldn't irritate your body."

Jack nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Rick." The doctor smiled and left, leaving them alone.

The two of them were silent for a few minutes, and then Ennis checked his watch. "I need to call work, tell them I can't come in today."

"You should probably shower, too," Jack advised him. "Been sat there all night. Tell you what...why don't you just go back to your place, do whatever you have to and then come back? And can you call my parents? I'll be fine for a few hours."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go on." Jack smiled as Ennis got up, and then leaned down to kiss him.

"I love you," Ennis murmured against his lips. Jack kissed him again.

"I love you too."

Ennis reluctantly left, sending a message to Alma to ask a favour, and then calling Jack's mother to tell her what had happened.

While he was gone, Jack laid there and thought about the past few hours. He'd been so happy to wake up and find Ennis there, and he was close to tears when Ennis had reassured him that he could do this, and was no longer so scared of being infected. Ennis had promised to stand by him and take care of him; Jack had heard every word while he'd been unconscious and was happier than ever to have Ennis in his life.

About an hour after Ennis left, there was a knock on the door. It was Alma and Lureen, to his surprise. "Hey, what are you girls doing here?"

"Lureen told me what happened," Alma replied as they sat down, placing the flowers on the bedside table. "And Ennis just sent me a message to ask me to come and sit with you while he's out."

Jack shook his head in amusement; Ennis truly was taking care of him. "Shouldn't you be at work?" he asked Lureen.

"I asked my boss to let me have the morning shift off. Just means working tonight instead, as well as this afternoon. I wanted to see you."

He smiled at her. "Thanks for helping me, Lu. Ennis told me what you did when I collapsed."

"Are you guys back together now?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Yep, we're back on track. Everything's gonna be okay."

"What about how scared he was before?"

"Well...he said that while he is still scared, he's more scared of losing me. So...he decided that he's willing to put himself at risk if it means we can be together."

"Wow..." They were both impressed by Ennis's change in behaviour, and were pleased that these recent events had knocked some sense into him.

"Oh, here..." Lureen went into her bag and pulled out his cell phone, wallet and keys. "You had your phone and keys with you when you were brought in, so I kept hold of them. And I went to your apartment and got your wallet, just to keep it safe more than anything."

Jack nodded and took hold of his keys, immediately finding the key ring with the photo of himself and Ennis. He couldn't help but smile, knowing now that everything would be okay.

Ennis completed his errands as quickly as he could, wanting to get back to Jack as soon as possible. The coupon book that Jack had given him was now safely in his nightstand, and he hoped that they would get to use more of it, especially the last coupon; the one for a life together with the man he loved.

He'd calmly told Karen what had happened, and while she was upset that Jack was in hospital, she was pleased that Ennis was there and that they were back together. Ennis promised her that he would look after Jack and she knew he would. Everything was sorted out with both his and Jack's work; he knew Lureen had called the clinic on Jack's behalf and his own boss was sympathetic. Ennis knew how lucky they both were to work with people who not only accepted their relationship, but also acknowledged how important it was that Ennis remained by Jack's side.

When he finally returned to the hospital, he paused outside Jack's room. Lureen and Alma were talking to Jack about him, and Jack had a rapturous expression on his face. It was crystal clear that Ennis had undone the damage he'd caused, and had repaired the heart that he'd broken.

"Hey," he called softly as he entered, and Jack couldn't help but grin at the sight of him.

"Hey, bud." He sat up as Ennis took his place by his side, reaching for his hand and lacing their fingers together. They remained like that as the conversation turned to other things, and both of them were comforted by the gentle pressure of each other's hand. Everything had turned out okay for them, and they once more had hope for the future.

* * *

Alma and Lureen left soon after, leaving them alone. Ennis leaned forward and kissed Jack warmly, happy that things were working out for them.

"How you feeling, bud?"

"Okay," Jack replied, nodding. "Better than I was, even without the meds." He was quiet for a moment, and then decided to ask the question that was on his mind. "Ennis...I have to ask you something..."

"Yeah?" Ennis was stroking Jack's hand with his thumb, liking how their hands just seemed to fit together naturally.

"Well...before you said you weren't gonna be scared if you got infected. I wanna believe that, but...did you really just change your mind, after all that?"

Ennis had predicted that Jack might not have fully believed him, and he didn't blame him after what had happened. "Yeah, darlin'. I had a lot of time to think it over. Like I said, I'm more scared of losing you. And...if getting HIV is supposed to happen to me at some point...if it's on the cards for me in my life...I'd rather I get it from you, instead of from anything else. At least I know I'd have you to help me."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, you would. And I really wanna believe that you won't bolt again. But when you did the other night...you've gotta know how much it hurt me."

"I know," Ennis told him softly, cupping his cheek. "I know it hurt you and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I've never wanted to hurt you, bud."

Jack smiled at him. He figured that in time, as life moved forward for them, he would believe Ennis's words. All they had to do for now was love each other, and they did that very well.

"Well...guess that's that, then. So...are you still moving in with me? Or do you want us to get a place together?"

Ennis shrugged. "Well, we agreed we'd live at your place for a while, then maybe move when we hit thirty or something. I think it's best if we live near a hospital, Jack. I'd feel better if you were close to medical help when you need it."

The sweet words caught Jack off-guard, and he had to blink back tears. He figured that the drugs they had him on were messing with his emotions. Ennis saw his watery eyes and sat up on the bed close to him.

"Hey...what's wrong?" he asked softly, wiping Jack's eyes with his thumbs. Jack shook his head.

"Nothing's wrong...that's just it. I'm happy, Ennis...we're back together and making all of these plans...just makes me realise how much I love you, and how much I missed you."

"Oh, darlin'..." Ennis sighed, and moved closer to take Jack into his arms. "It's okay...I promise, I'll never let you down again."

Jack pulled away. "I've never asked you to promise me anything, Ennis. I won't ever force you to stay with me if you'd rather leave. That's why I didn't stop you the other night...I just wanted you to be happy."

"I wasn't happy, being away from you. I was miserable, Jack. And I'm making promises to you whether you like it or not." Ennis smirked and then turned serious, taking both of Jack's hands in his. "I promise to stay by your side no matter what. To love you as best I can, and to look after you. I'll never hurt you ever again. I swear..."

He looked imploringly into Jack's eyes, seeing them fill with fresh tears. It was clear that the drugs were making him more emotional than usual. "Ennis...I...I can't..."

Ennis knew what he was saying, but he wasn't hearing it. "Yeah, you can. I wanna do this for you, Jack. For us. You need me, and I need you. So...that's just how it is. I'm sure that when I need you, you'll be there. And I'm here for you now. You don't have to worry anymore, because I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

The tears leaked down Jack's cheeks and he took a shuddering breath. "Ennis...I can't ask you to do that. For one thing, it's not fair. I'm gonna need you more than you need me, and we both know that. I'm the one who's ill."

"I don't care if it's not fair," Ennis told him firmly. "I love you and I'm gonna be here for you. And...you didn't ask me to do it. I'm offering."

He let go of Jack's hands and wiped the fresh tears away, seeing a smile finally cross Jack's features. "Okay," he said croakily. "If you're really promising all this stuff...guess I can't really say no."

Ennis leaned in close for another kiss, sweet and long and full of promises to each other. Everything had been sealed now, never to be broken. When they pulled apart, Ennis pulled their foreheads together, gazing into Jack's eyes.

"You're the love of my life, Jack," he murmured, seeing Jack gulp.

"Right back at you, bud. Can't wait for you to move in with me...it's gonna be great."

"Yeah, it is. Maybe...one day...we could move to another state. One that says we _can_ get married legally."

Jack heard the potential proposal in Ennis's statement, and he grinned. "I'd love that. Do you really picture us getting married?"

Ennis looked right at him, not blinking. "I do."

They clasped hands and could feel each other's pulses, their hearts beating together.

"I do too." Jack pulled Ennis close again and they held each other, knowing now that nothing would drive them apart ever again. They'd been to hell and back and had still found a way to move forward together, leaving the past where it belonged. Their love was like a force of nature, like a tall oak tree that could be affected by nothing, not even the strongest wind. And deep down, Jack knew in his heart that he'd found everything he'd been looking for his whole life, especially the last five years. He wasn't perfect, and their life wasn't perfect, but they had everything they needed right here, in their arms.


	30. Epilogue

_Author's notes_

_Hey guys, here's the epilogue. I want to say a huge thank you for all of your support during this story. It wasn't the easiest one to write but your feedback has been great, making it all worthwhile. So thank you :)_

_Kathryn xxx_

* * *

**Epilogue**

Two days after Jack woke up, he was allowed to go home. He was given a week off from work to recover and spent his time helping Ennis to move his things. Luckily, Ennis hadn't unpacked the boxes he'd brought back, so the process was fairly swift.

On March 8th, Ennis moved into Jack's place, and their first night together as partners was everything they had hoped it would be. Their lovemaking was tender and sweet, so full of emotion that Jack thought he would burst with how much he felt for the man making love to him, rising above him and giving him the kind of look that reminded him how much he was loved.

After the eventful month they'd just had, things calmed down a lot for them. Most of the time it was simply day-to-day stuff that every live-in couple went through, and they welcomed the lack of drama.

Jack had the idea that the pair of them go to some kind of support group, for people who were in relationships like theirs. They found one in the city and started going to weekly sessions, sharing their story and meeting other couples like them. While they had a lot of fun comparing notes on how to keep things creative in the bedroom, both of them found it very helpful to talk to others, some of which were older and had lived through the AIDS pandemic of the 80s. Ennis and Jack talked to them to get as much information and advice as they could, and it proved to be very beneficial.

In May, Jack's father died of cancer. Jack got the call from his mother late at night, and Ennis left the bedroom to find him on the sofa, visibly upset.

"He's gone," Jack choked out, shaking as Ennis pulled him into his arms. "Died about an hour ago."

"It's alright, darlin'...shh..." Ennis rocked him to calm him, and Jack eventually relaxed a little. Ennis then took him back to bed and held him from behind, spooning against him and rubbing his stomach.

They went to New York for the funeral, and Ennis held Jack's hand through the service, seeing how much of a struggle it was for him to keep it together. He had promised Jack that he would be there for him, and here he was.

In the summer, they decided to take some time off, as agreed by their bosses as a gift for everything they'd gone through, and went to Paris for a romantic two weeks together. Being in what was known as the City of Love worked its magic on them, and they loved every minute of it. Jack was extremely grateful that the people at French customs had recognised his HIV medication and hadn't confiscated it. He didn't know what he would have done if they had.

Still, they had a wonderful time. They walked through quiet, charming side streets, went up the Eiffel Tower and admired the view, taking plenty of photographs and having one taken for them by someone they met up there. They ate local delicacies and fell in love with the French bread they picked up. They'd bought baguettes back home, but those paled in comparison to the ones found here. Their hotel near the Seine had freshly baked bread every morning at breakfast, and Jack particularly liked how there was so much food there that was good for his health.

They had a lot of fun trying out the language, and managed to do okay considering neither of them had spoken French before. One night, when they were in bed and making out, Jack nuzzled Ennis's neck and sighed to himself.

"Mmm...this is good," he murmured, and Ennis rubbed his back.

"Sure is...it's a really romantic city. And nobody's looked at us twice...I feel comfortable touching you in public, even if it is just holding your hand."

"I know, it's amazing. I wonder if they'll ever legalise gay marriage here...a lot of places are doing it now."

"Yeah...I still wanna marry you some day, Jack. More than anything. But I don't think it'll ever happen in California...not after that Proposition 8."

"Mmm...guess not..." Jack trailed a hand down Ennis's chest, indicating that he didn't want to talk anymore. "Shut up and kiss me." Ennis did so with gusto, and couldn't help but groan when Jack moved down his body, disappearing under the covers. He didn't think it was particularly fair to Jack, that he could swallow and make him feel good, when Ennis couldn't do the same for Jack without putting himself at risk. A part of him wanted to know what Jack tasted like; how it might feel to have Jack shoot into his mouth. But while he wasn't as scared of getting HIV as he used to be, he knew it wouldn't be wise to go for it on purpose. It could easily cause problems for them, and might even break them up. He couldn't risk that happening again.

His thoughts were wiped clean away when Jack started to suck eagerly, like a calf to its mother trying to get the milk. He'd once mentioned this analogy to Jack, who had laughed for a good five minutes at it before being shut up in the best way possible.

The rest of the trip went well, and they took a day out to Disneyland just for the fun of it. They'd heard it was very gay-friendly, and this showed when they were treated equally by staff, even when they were clearly holding hands. Jack couldn't stop staring at the baby items and he wondered if he and Ennis would have a child of their own one day. Obviously, they couldn't do it the regular way, but there were options. If they wanted a biological child, Ennis would have to be the father and they would need an egg donor and surrogate who wouldn't give them any trouble. Other than that, there was always adoption. But he knew that they would have to check their state laws before that could happen, being a same-sex couple.

When they finally returned home, they spent most of the weekend in bed, trying to recover from their trip. It soon turned fun as they found ways to occupy themselves and ended up making love, then falling asleep for a while, before waking up and going all over again.

In November, they had another scare. The condom broke once again and this time, Jack accidentally shot inside Ennis, both of them terrified of what had happened, and not realising it until it was too late. Ennis got himself tested and the next two weeks were agony as they waited for the results. Jack apologised over and over to him, and Ennis told him it was alright; that they would deal with it if he'd been infected and that he wasn't going anywhere.

To their immense relief, Ennis's results came back negative, and the two of them had a talk. They didn't want to break up and they didn't want to stop having sex, but something had to be done.

In an attempt to solve the problem, they came up with the idea that they double the protection. Whoever was to use the condom, especially during penetration, was to wear two instead of one. It was a bit of a squeeze for Jack to enter Ennis in this way, but they managed it and soon got used to it. He certainly felt better, knowing that they were doing everything they could to keep Ennis safe.

2011 came with more happiness for them. They had a romantic Valentine's picnic in the park and went out on another boat trip ride over the weekend. They fell more and more in love with each other all the time, and were now adjusted to the changes in their lives.

Ennis's parents were really the only dark spots in their life together. They had never really been able to make their peace with Ennis's choice of Jack as a partner, and when Ennis had had the second scare in November they visibly struggled to be even civil towards Jack.

It all came to a head during the summer of 2011, when Ennis and Jack visited the house for Mother's Day. His father lost it when he saw the two of them holding hands, and started spouting hate at his son for allowing himself to be at risk like that. The words he spoke to Jack were particularly vicious, and Ennis walked out of his parents' house with Jack in tow for a second time.

That night, Ennis told Jack he didn't want to have any more contact with his parents.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, rubbing his back as they sat on their bed. Ennis nodded.

"Being with you, even though you're positive and could pass it on to me, is my decision. And they can't respect that. I'll never forgive them for the things they've said, especially to you."

Jack nodded. "Well...if that's really what you want...then that's it." He pulled Ennis close and kissed his temple, a part of him thankful that Ennis had never caved under the pressure from his parents, and had never taken their advice to cut off all ties with him.

When Daniel Waters' sentence was finished, the case was reviewed at their request by another judge. It was found that his deliberate attack on Jack and the other man, paired with the fact that he'd known he was likely to pass on HIV to his victims, was a form of attempted murder and as such, warranted a longer sentence. To Ennis and Jack's euphoria, the judge decided to extend the sentence to twenty years per victim, which meant that Waters would be a pensioner by the time he was let out, and hopefully no longer able to hurt anybody.

With justice finally done, Jack was able to truly move on with his life, with a wonderful man by his side.

On July 24th, 2011, Ennis and Jack heard that same-sex marriage had been legalised in the state of New York. Jack's mother Karen called them with the great news, and they both knew it was time for a talk.

They would turn twenty-nine in the fall, and were ready for marriage by this point. It was very unlikely that California would have its ban repealed anytime soon, so they would have to make a decision.

"What do you think?" Jack asked as they sat on the sofa, about an hour after the phone call. "You think we should do it?"

Ennis nodded and took his hand, picturing some kind of ring on it. The thought made him happy; he would love to marry Jack. "Yeah, I think we should."

With it decided, they called Karen back and asked her to start looking at properties around the city that they might be able to afford, informing her that they were moving in light of the recent change in the law. She found them a beautiful apartment in Brooklyn Heights that was within their price range and they got in touch with the landlord as they started to pack up their things.

The landlord got back to them a few days later and told them they were welcome to move in. They sent him a deposit and packed in their jobs, Jack hoping to find something similar in New York.

They moved into the new apartment in October, just after Jack's birthday. Now that Daniel Waters was safely behind bars for a long time, Jack was no longer scared of being around Central Park. He and Ennis loved living here and weren't far from Jack's mother. They spoke to the girls at least once a week and went back to San Francisco for their birthdays.

Both of them found jobs similar to what they'd had in San Francisco. Ennis became a vet's assistant and Jack started working at a counselling centre, hoping to become a therapist specialising in sexually-transmitted infections and the implications they had on a person's life. He wanted to help other HIV-positive people as they adjusted to this huge change in their lives.

In the meantime, they started planning their wedding. Karen got them in touch with a wedding planner, who turned out to be an old friend of Jack's from high school. She was more than happy to help them plan their nuptials and invitations were sent out. They invited Karen, Lureen, Alma, Jack's old doctor from San Francisco and the doctor he knew from the clinic back there, friends from their old life, Ennis's old workmate Sarah and a few friends they'd made from work here. There were twenty people in total, which suited them because they only wanted a small wedding.

They also invited Ennis's parents, because even though they were on the outs he still wanted them there when he got married. The invitation wasn't even acknowledged, and no RSVP was sent back. Jack could tell that it had upset his future husband, and did his best to comfort him.

"It'll be okay," he told Ennis softly as he held him in bed, a few weeks before the wedding. "We're still gonna get married and have a life together. If they don't wanna be a part of it, it's their choice. They're the ones losing out, not us."

"I know," Ennis replied, holding onto Jack. "I love you, bud..."

"Love you too."

The day of the wedding dawned in Spring 2012, and they had chosen to have it in the Central Park Boathouse. It was a beautiful building near the lake, and perfect for a wedding.

The ceremony was held under an arbour out on the grass, and in the view of their friends and Jack's mother, Ennis and Jack solidified their commitment to one another.

"I love you, Ennis. It hasn't always been easy, but...you've made me a lot happier than I ever thought I would be. I didn't let myself believe that I would find someone who would love me no matter what, but I did. You're the only one I'll ever love, and the only one I'll ever need. And I can't wait to find out what the rest of our lives is gonna bring us." Jack smiled and squeezed Ennis's hands.

"Jack, you're my soul mate. I don't have the words that'll do justice to how I feel about you, but I try every day to show you what you mean to me. We're gonna have a good life, and I know we'll be together for the rest of our lives."

The minister nodded and they swapped rings, agreeing to take each other as their husband. They had chosen simple silver bands, not needing much else. They already had everything they needed.

"Ennis and Jack have made their vows to one another and have swapped rings. By the power vested in me by the State of New York, I declare that they are legally married, as husbands. You may seal your union with a kiss."

The two of them were drawn like magnets to each other, and shared their first kiss as a married couple, euphoria running through them and their hearts bursting with love. Everything was complete now, and they had moved on to a new chapter of their lives; one that they would be facing together, no matter what.


End file.
